Karyn awoke slowly, reluctantly, from the drugged sleep. Outside the morning was bright and fresh, but to Karyn the world seemed to exist on the far side of a gray scrim curtain. Her mouth was stale. It was an effort to move her limbs.
She put an arm over to touch Roy, but his side of the bed was empty. It was several minutes before her sluggish mind recalled that Roy had spent the night in the city. It would have been sweet just to lie there in bed thinking about nothing. Pull the comforter up over her head and shut out the morning. Karyn sighed. She really ought to get up, she told herself.
Getting out of bed was so much work that she had to sit on the edge for a minute and rest. At last she stood up and went to the closet. She pulled on an old bathrobe of Roy's. It was too much bother to think about a shower or brushing out her hair.
She went into the kitchen, but fixing breakfast held no appeal. There were dishes unwashed from the day before, but they could wait. She walked into the livingroom and sat in the chair by the window and looked down at her hands.
She was still sitting in the chair at eleven-thirty when a car pulled up outside. Footsteps crunched across the drying grass in the clearing. Someone knocked at the door. With a heavy sigh Karyn rose from the chair and walked over to see who it was.
Chris Halloran stood in the doorway looking casual and fresh in checked slacks and a brown pullover sweater. The smile of greeting he had ready stiffened when he took a look at Karyn.
"Why, Chris, what a surprise."
It took him a second to answer. "Hello, Karyn. I had a couple of days off, so I thought I'd drive out and see how you guys are doing."
"That's nice."
He waited for her to say something else. When she didn't, he said, "Is it all right if I come in?"
Karyn put on a smile. It felt lopsided. "Yes, of course, please come in, Chris. I'm a little slow this morning."
Chris came into the room, keeping his eyes on Karyn. "Where's Roy?"
"He went into the city. It seems he has to spend more time in Los Angeles than he thought he would. Isn't that interesting?"
"Karyn, are you all right?"
"Why? Is something the matter?"
"You look a little… tired."
Karyn looked down at the old robe she was wearing and put a hand up to touch her unbrushed hair. "Oh, you mean this. I hadn't gotten around to getting dressed yet. What time is it, anyway?"
"Almost noon."
"Really? I must have dozed off in the chair."
"I should have let you know I was coming, but I didn't decide myself until this morning."
"No, that's all right. I'm always glad to see you. Can I get you anything?"
"I'm fine, Karyn. Sit down, please."
"I think I will, if you don't mind." She returned to the chair by the window and eased into it. It was true that she was glad to see Chris, but keeping the conversation going was an effort.
Chris perched uncomfortably on the edge of the sofa. "So tell me what's been happening."
"Not very much. It's a quiet life up here. We lost Lady."
"Lost her? What happened?"
Karyn looked out the window, her face empty of expression. "Something caught her in the woods and killed her."
Chris leaned forward, staring at her. "What are you talking about? What caught her?"
Karyn shrugged her shoulders. She felt loose and disjointed wearing the oversized robe. "I don't know what it was. The sheriff — but he's not really a sheriff — says it was a coyote. Or maybe it was an owl." She giggled suddenly and put a hand over her mouth like a little girl caught laughing in class.
Chris got up and walked over to her chair. He looked down into her face. "Karyn, what is the matter? I told you you look tired, but you don't. You look sick."
"I'm all right. I have some pills that I take for my nerves and to help me sleep. I'm all right."
"What kind of pills?"
"Who knows? Dr. Volkmann gave them to me."
"Who is Dr. Volkmann?"
"He's just Dr. Volkmann. He lives in Drago. He came out when I was sick."
"I don't know what he's giving you, but it doesn't look like it's helping a lot."
"Is that a comment on the way I look?"
"Karyn, I'm serious. We've been friends long enough so that I shouldn't have to play games. I think you should have another doctor examine you."
"Dr. Volkmann is a good doctor."
Chris started to say something more, then seemed to think better of it. "I'm sorry I missed Roy. We must have passed each other on the freeway."
"I don't think so. Roy drove in yesterday."
"And left you here alone?"
"It didn't matter. I had a nice young couple for company."
"Overnight?"
"No, they had to leave."
Chris shook his head slowly, but said nothing. He made several more attempts to kindle a conversation, but Karyn found it hard to concentrate on his words. She felt one step removed from everything that was happening. In a way it was a comfortable feeling, but in the depths of her consciousness she knew something was very wrong.
After a while they ran out of words and Chris moved toward the door. "I guess I might as well be heading back to L.A."
Karyn rose to walk out with him. She looked into his eyes and saw herself reflected in the pupils. There was something she would like to tell him, but it seemed too much trouble to put into words. For some reason a tear formed in the corner of one eye and rolled down her cheek.
Chris took a step toward her. "You're not well. Let me take you to a doctor in Los Angeles."
She shook her head without saying anything. The tears came freely.
"Karyn, please, you've got to let me help you." He reached out to her, grasping her shoulders, and pulled her against him.
Since the day she had been assaulted in the apartment no man but her husband had touched Karyn. Now, through some trick of the mind, she was back there. The gentle face of her friend Chris Halloran twisted and changed like a rubber mask into the foul leering thing that had attacked her. Chris's hand on her shoulders became the rough, grasping hands of the rapist. She pulled her head back to look into his face. He was saying something, but all she could see were his teeth. Teeth like those that had torn the flesh of her thigh and left her scarred down there.
"Get away from me!" she cried. "Get away! Don't touch me, you filthy animal!"
Instantly Chris pulled his hands away and stepped back. "Karyn, what's the matter with you? What are you saying?"
She balled her hand into a fist and swung at him. In his astonishment, Chris made no move to avoid the blow, and her fist smacked into the corner of his mouth, slicking his lip with blood.
He seized her wrists. "Have you gone crazy?"
"You'd better get out of here," she said, her voice rising hysterically. "If my husband finds you here he'll kill you."
Chris touched the corner of his mouth and looked at the blood on his fingertips. "All right, dammit, enough. I don't know what's happening to you up here, Karyn, but if this is the way you want it, it's your business. Excuse the intrusion."
He sidestepped her and shouldered out through the door. Karyn heard the car door slam. The engine roared to life and the Camaro spun away in an angry burst of gravel.
For several minutes she stood by the door, breathing raggedly, feeling her heart pound. The fog that had clouded her mind throughout the day had been shredded by Chris's sudden anger. She walked into the bathroom and ran the cold water. She caught it in her cupped hands and dashed it into her face. The cold shock helped to clear her head even more. She looked into the mirror and saw the pale, unkempt creature Chris had seen. What had come over her to act the way she had? For a terrible few seconds Chris had seemed to become the rapist. She had screamed at him, hit him, sent him away. What was happening to her?