Chapter 101

sunday, december 20 (fourth sunday of advent): morning

With no sign of emotion, Lydia holds up a pair of scissors in front of Benjamin. They are tailoring scissors, sharp, with broad blades.

“In that case,” she says calmly, “it will be no problem for you to accept your punishment.” With an expression of utter serenity she places the scissors on the table.

“I’m only a kid,” says Benjamin, swaying.

“Stand still,” she snaps at him. “It’s never enough, is it? You never, ever understand. I struggle and try my hardest, I wear myself out so this family will work, will be whole and pure. I just want it to work.”

Benjamin is looking at the floor and crying: rough, heavy sobs.

“Aren’t we a family? Aren’t we?”

“Yes,” he says. “Yes. We are.”

“So why do you behave like this? Sneaking around behind our backs, betraying us, deceiving us, stealing from us, giving us lip. Why do you behave like this toward me? Poking your nose into everything, talking behind my back.”

“I don’t know,” Benjamin whispers. “I’m sorry.”

Lydia picks up the scissors. She is breathing heavily now, and her face is sweaty. Red blotches have appeared on her cheeks and throat. “You will receive a punishment so that we can put all this behind us,” she says. She looks from Annbritt to Marek and back again. “Annbritt, come here.”

Annbritt, who has been staring at the wall, moves forward hesitantly. Her expression is strained, her eyes shift around the room, her narrow chin trembles.

“Cut off his nose,” says Lydia.

Annbritt looks at Lydia and then at Benjamin. She shakes her head.

Lydia slaps her hard across the face. She grabs hold of Annbritt’s stout upper arm and shoves her closer to Benjamin.

“Kasper has been poking his nose into everything, and now he’s going to lose it.”

Annbritt picks up the scissors. Marek seizes Benjamin’s head in a firm grip, angling his face toward her. The blades of the scissors glint before Benjamin’s eyes, and he sees the terrified look in the woman’s eye.

“Get on with it!” Lydia yells.

Annbritt tentatively extends the hand holding the scissors towards Benjamin. Her face contorts and she begins to weep openly.

“I have a blood disorder,” Benjamin whimpers. “My blood doesn’t coagulate! Please. I’ll die if you do that!”

Annbritt brings the blades together in the air in front of him and drops the scissors on the floor. “I can’t,” she sobs. “I just can’t. It hurts my hand to hold the scissors.”

“This is a family,” says Lydia with weary inflexibility, as she laboriously bends down and picks up the scissors. “You will obey and respect me- do you hear me?”

“They hurt my hand, I told you! Those scissors are too big for- ”

“Shut up!” Lydia snaps, striking her hard across the mouth with the handle of the scissors. Annbritt gasps with pain and staggers to one side. Leaning against the wall, she puts a hand to her bleeding lips.

“Sundays are for discipline,” Lydia says.

“I don’t want to.” She cowers. “Please. I don’t want to.”

“Get on with it,” Lydia says impatiently. She cocks her head suddenly. “What did you say? Did you say cunt to me?” She lifts the scissors menacingly.

“No, no.” Annbritt sobs, holding out her hand. “I’ll do it. I’ll cut off his nose. I’ll help you. It won’t hurt; it’ll soon be over.”

Lydia looks satisfied and hands her the scissors. Annbritt goes over to Benjamin, pats him on the head, and whispers quickly, “Don’t be scared. Just get out, get out as fast as you can.”

Benjamin looks at her with a puzzled expression, trying to read her frightened eyes and trembling mouth. Annbritt raises the scissors but turns and stabs weakly at Lydia instead. Benjamin sees Lydia defend herself against Annbritt’s attack, sees Marek grasp her wrist, yank at her arm, and dislocate her shoulder. Annbritt screams with pain. Benjamin is already out of the room by the time Lydia picks up the scissors and sits down astride Annbritt’s chest. Annbritt shakes her head from side to side, trying to escape.

As Benjamin passes through the chilly porch and emerges into the burning cold out on the steps, he hears Annbritt screaming and coughing.

Lydia wipes the blood from her cheek and looks around for the boy; Benjamin is moving quickly along the cleared path. Marek takes the elk gun down from the wall, but Lydia stops him. “It’ll do him good,” she says. “Kasper has no shoes, and he’s wearing nothing but his pyjamas. He’ll come back to Mummy when he gets cold.”

“Otherwise he’ll die,” says Marek.

Benjamin ignores the pain in his joints as he runs between the rows of derelict vehicles. He crouches behind an old Volvo sedan and eats some snow, slaking the terrible thirst he feels, and then begins to run again. Soon, he is no longer able to feel his feet. Marek is yelling something at him from the steps of the house, and Benjamin begins looking for a place to hide in the darkness. Maybe he can make his way down to the lake when things quiet down. Jussi said you could always find a fisherman there, sitting patiently over a hole drilled in the ice.

He has to stop; leaning on a pick-up, he listens for footsteps, glances up at the dark edge of the forest, and moves on. He won’t be able to keep going much longer. He crawls under a stiff tarpaulin covering a tractor, slides along the frosty grass beneath the next car, stands up, and finds himself between two buses. He gropes along the side of one of the enormous vehicles until he locates an open window, and scrambles inside. Moving through the dark, musty coach by feel, he finds a pile of old rugs on a seat and wraps himself up in them.

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