The Incorporated Knight

XVI – The Gilded Guardhouse

"How far," asked Eudoric, "is Letitia now?"

Yolanda replied: "Less than a league. If we turn right at the next crossroad, my palace lies but a bowshot thence. We shall tarry there long enough to make ourselves clean and presentable ere going to the court."

"Oh, no, we shan't!" said Eudoric. "I'll fetch you before the King and his minister, render this Armorian treaty, and secure my franchise ere some unforeseen mishap prevent."

"Eudoric! Be not like a country boor! You must come before my brother as a proper gentleman, not an enseamed, mud-spattered ragamuffin! To appear as you now are might aggravate the anger he may feel upon discovering that he have an unheralded brother-in-law."

"I'm sorry, my dear, but my mind is made up. Business before pleasure! I'll warrant your royal brother have seen many a mud-spattered knight ..."

They began another dispute. Since Eudoric would not be moved, Yolanda finally subsided into sulky silence. She spurred on ahead, and Forthred moved up beside Eudoric, saying in Locanian:

"Master! Sir Eudoric!"

"Aye?"

"Once ye be settled in the lady's palace, I'll ask release from my service."

"By the God and Goddess, why? Haven't I paid you well and treated you kindly?"

" 'Tis not that, sir." Forthred fumbled for words. "But I'm fain to return to mine own home, where my betrothed awaits me."

"Oh? Then you seek not the highest ranks of the magical fellowship, by remaining celibate?"

"Nay, sir. A few good spells are fine, but I'd liefer lead a normal life than spend a century learning how to raise a tempest. Besides, Doctor Baldonius' scholarship doth intrigue me more than his sorceries. And that's not all."

"What else?" asked Eudoric.

"I fear me that, an I see much more of you and your lady, I shall lose all wish to wed, albeit I've plighted my troth. The sight of you twain, one instant civil and gracious and the next bawling like Tyrrhenian fishwives, would strike the stoutest lover with terror. I should find such wedlock too vexatious to bear."

Eudoric sighed. "I understand. But, I promise, I'll not pass my days here as the royal sister's plaything. I have mine own affairs to tend. And remember that my princess have never learned to bridle the whims and endure the vexations of the moment, as all we lesser mortals must. Were she a child, one would term her spoiled rotten.

"So pray remain with me for the nonce; at least until we know what's toward."

Minister Brulard received Eudoric and Yolanda in his cabinet and dispatched a guard to the tennis court to inform the King. While waiting, Yolanda told the minister of her detention by the Armorians and of their impending human sacrifice. She had just reached the point where Eudoric appeared on the rock above her, when King Clothar strode in trailing a scuttle of flunkeys. Eudoric genuflected. When he saw his sister hale, albeit travel-soiled, the King clapped Eudoric on the back.

"Well done, Sir What's-your-name!" he bellowed. "Meseems we've promised you something for fetching home our willful sister. What was't?"

"A franchise, Your Majesty," said Eudoric promptly, "giving me and me alone the right to run a stagecoach line across Franconia."

"Ah, yea. Brulard, have the authorization drawn up forthwith."

"I have anticipated Your Majesty's wish," said the minister, pulling a large sheet of parchment out of his desk drawer. "Here you are, Sir Eudoric."

"I thank you," said Eudoric. He cleared his throat. "There's another matter, which I was compelled to undertake unauthorized, to allay the Armorians' suspicions."

"What is that?" asked Brulard.

"To avoid incarceration like His Majesty's sister's, I pretended to have been sent to contract an agreement betwixt the two kings concerning imports of wine and perry. Here is the draft, in duplicate, both copies signed by King Gwennon's minister Corentin and bearing Gwennon's seal. I trust that, since this treaty was the original purpose of the princess's journey, I did no wrong in pursuing the project. If Your Majesty and Master Brulard approve it, you can execute it and return a copy to Ysness."

King and minister glanced over the sheets. The King, toying with the waxed point of his reddish-blond goatee, said: "It appears in good order, though we shall have to study it. Ha, Sir Dorian, we see that you be a useful wight to have about a court. Would that you were amongst our kinsmen. We must needs find posts for them all, notwithstanding that some be unequal to the tasks—"

"He is your kin, forsooth," interrupted Yolanda.

The King frowned. "How mean you, sister?"

"He is your brother now."

"But we have no br—What?" roared the King. "Meanst that you and this fellow ..."

"Certes, I mean it," said Yolanda. "We were wed both by the True Church and by the heathen rites of Armoria."

"But—but members of our family may not marry without our express permission!"

Eudoric cleared his throat again. "Your Majesty's pardon, but we had no choice in the matter. The Armorians threatened to hold us in a dungeon all our lives unless we agreed to this union."

"And wherefore should they do such a moonstricken thing?"

Eudoric shrugged. "I thought it a silly idea myself; that jester-minister is to my mind more than a trifle mad. But they seemed to think that your sister were less of a formidable foe had she a husband to keep her witcheries in check."

"Hm, hm," mumbled the King. "If you do keep her in check, you will be the only wight on earth who can. Brulard and I must discuss this matter. You have our leave, Sir Eudox."

Eudoric bowed himself out, saying to Yolanda: "Now, my dear, I shall be happy to enjoy the luxe of your abode—and a change of clothes."

Yolanda's palace was a spacious two-story mansion in ornate Franconian style. A porte-cochere extended from the front door across the driveway.

"We stop here, Eudoric," Yolanda said, and whistled sharply.

Two shadowy, gargoylish figures, beside the front door, came to life and approached. Eudoric realized that they were not human at all. They were man-sized and more or less man-shaped, but they wore no clothes. Their heads had bestial muzzles and a pair of short homs. Their three-fingered hands grasped spears, which they leaned against the door frame before coming forward on feet that ended in three huge toes, capped by nails that were almost hooves. Each being had a ratlike tail, which waved behind its knees.

The horses snorted and rolled their eyes at the unaccustomed sight and smell. Eudoric and Yolanda managed to control their mounts; but Forthred, leading the spare animals, was less successful. His horse reared and threw him. Before the beast could bolt, one of the nonhuman doormen darted forward and seized the bridles. The other took the reins of Eudoric's and Yolanda's horses. Yolanda dismounted, saying:

"Hutt humma lil-bayt al-khayl; khud ish-shunatna juwwa!" She turned to Eudoric as the doormen led off the animals. "Ask me not to give lessons in Saracenic; mine own is barbarous. But it suffices to command the marids."

"So that's what these creatures are! Have you no human servants?"

"Aye; grooms, cooks, and maids. For heavy work— gardening, furniture moving, and such—I find the marids superior. They are stronger than men and, when constrained by the proper spell, docile and obedient. Best of all, so long as I feed them, I need not pay them wages."

"Does your spell compel then to swink forever?"

"Nay; the magic weakens after a few years. Then they'll vanish back to their own plane, and I shall have to recruit another crew. Let us go in. First I must show you the house, for I know that you pant to see it."

Eudoric was not at all eager to be shown the house. His main desires were for a hot bath, a strong drink, a good meal, and a long sleep. But Yolanda had her own ideas.

"And this," she said, "is the library. Most of the volumes are mine own acquisition; neither my sire nor his sire were much for reading. Feasting, jousting, and venery—in both senses of the term—were more to their taste. My royal brother, I fear, takes after them. Some of the books were brought hither by my scholarly husband, Count Sugerius.

"That suit of armor yonder was worn by my great-uncle, the Duke of Albi, at the battle of Novambio. You can see the dents. And those swords on yonder wall have belonged to generations of martial forebears; for ensample, that two-handed monster with the prongs ...

"... and this is the dining room. The table once belonged to King Merovic the First, my great-great— anyway, I forget how many 'greats'—grandfather. And those candlesticks were taken as booty in the Third Carinthian War-—"

"Your pardon, Yolanda," said Eudoric, "but when do we break our fast?"

"Oh, belike two hours hence. The kitchen staff knew not that we were coming and so had let the fires go out. If you had taken my advice to stop here ere going on to the court ... Now the portrait on yonder wall is that of Lord Clodomir, an illegitimate son of King Merovic. A mighty warrior; there were those who said he'd have made a better king than the legitimate scion ...

"... and here is the master bedroom. The mirror over the dressing table is Saracenic; one of my great-uncles brought it back from a pilgrimage to Philistia—"

Eudoric blinked and shook his head to fight off sleep. "This will be my first night in a decent bed since leaving Ysness. For a copper sesterce I'd pull off my boots and fall asleep with my clothes on."

"We cannot so do now," said Yolanda implacably. "Notice the bedspread, made by a peasant family in Drufort. Because their ancestress succored King Charivald when he was wounded in the battle of Segni, he conferred on her and her descendants in the female line the sole right forever to make spreads for the royal family. And now we must tour the kitchens and laundry."

She led him forth. On the way down the hall, Eudoric paused at a door, whose wooden surface was blank except for a knob. "What's in there?" he asked.

"That, my dear husband, is where I keep my magical paraphernalia."

Eudoric gave the knob a pull, but the door remained immovable. "Locked, eh? I can see why you might; but this door has no keyhole."

"Think you I'd entrust my direst secrets to an ordinary lock and key, which any burglar could pick in three ticks of the clock? Nay; that door has a magical lock, which only I can open. Come along, dear; I have not shown you the half ..."

"Tarry a while, Yolanda! I am fain to see this room of wizardly apparatus. Work your little spell and show me in."

"Nay; I let none, not even the marids, enter here."

"But after all, I am your husband—"

"Harken, Shorty! When I, Princess Yolanda, say that none shall go thither, I mean none! Now come along and blow no further bluster."

Eudoric's lips tightened. He was about to make an angry retort when she continued: "Nay, dear one, take no offense. 'Tis for your own safety. Some presences in there might harm you ere I could bring them under governance."

Eudoric's anger subsided, but he shot a skeptical glance at the door. Then, with a small sigh, he followed her, wondering from what sorcerous source she obtained her boundless energy.

Yawning, Eudoric came awake after nine hours of his heaviest sleep in years. As he turned over, he realized that Yolanda was no longer beside him. He raised his head, to see her seated at the dresser in her nightrobe and doing things to her long, caledonian-brown hair.

"Dearest!" he called. "Come back to bed!"

She turned with a frown. "Whatever for?"

"You shall soon see!"

"Oh. You mean that you lust."

"Aye. Last night I was too wayworn; but today—"

"There's no time for that now, " she said shortly.

"No time? Why? What's toward?"

"As soon as I've broken fast, I must to town."

"Why?" said Eudoric. "I should think you'd rejoice in a day's idleness."

"You understand not. A message has reached me, revealing that Clothar and Brulard are furious at our marriage. They planned to wed me to a half-witted son of the King of Carinthia. So I go to forestall any dire plans they might hatch anent you. I would not lose my fourth husband ere I'd had time to break him in!"

"Oh? Well then, I'll go with you to confront them. I'll explain—"

"Be not a noodlepate, Eudoric! In three breaths you'd be hauled off to Riculf's Tower, whilst the headsman gat orders to sharpen his ax. Nay, stay you quietly here. I can handle those good-for-naughts."

"Humph," grunted Eudoric. "Then I'll ask one of your stablemen to saddle up some likely nag and explore your estate, with a groom to guide me."

"Nay; you must stay within doors, lest you fall into ambush."

Eudoric's irritation burst out: "Curse it, woman, it's time we sorted out our duties to each other! If you'll not come hither when I ask, I'll—"

"Attempt force? You'd not only find me your match, but also in three heartbeats you would be borne off by a dozen marids to my personal dungeon, there to languish whilst I concocted a spell to clip your claws. Let us have no more of this nonsense! In this place, my word is law, and think not but that I can enforce it!"

Yolanda rang a little bell on her dresser. Her tiring woman came in and helped her to dress. While Eudoric, seething and still in bed, gloomily contemplated the day ahead, she said to her servant:

"Eufronia, tell Leo to have the carriage ready within the hour." To Eudoric she said: "Remain abed or break fast, as you list. You must needs move sprackly, if you'd join me at table." She swept out.

When Eudoric, newly shaven and freshly clothed, arrived at the breakfast table, Yolanda had departed. He ate in solitary silence. He would have liked to question the marid servants, but he knew no Saracenic and they, apparently, spoke none of his several languages.

Afterwards he wandered restlessly about the palace. As he passed the door of the magic room, he cast a sharp eye upon it. Seeing that no servants, human or otherwise, were about, he grasped the knob and gave a mighty pull, without result.

He drifted into the library, where he spent an hour reading a history of Franconia. Then he asked that Forthred be sent for.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked his squire.

"Oh, aye, sir, if ye don't mind these horned, inhuman creatures peering at you. What's to be our fate?"

"I know not," growled Eudoric. 'The princess thinks I'm in danger if I step outside the palace. How about a game of draughts?"

Yolanda returned in the early afternoon, bringing her dressmaker, with whom she spent the next few hours closeted. When she emerged, she found Eudoric engrossed in his twelfth game with Forthred.

"Eudoric!" she said sharply.

"Aye?"

"This morn you expressed—ah—certain wishes, which I lacked time to gratify. We have an hour ere dinner. If you're still fain, I can give you the time for it now. Horses must be fed and watered, and husbands must be—"

"Madam!" said Eudoric, taken aback. "In the first place, it's not proper to put it so roynishly before others; in the second, were not this eve—"

"This evening my head bailiff reports to me on the gains and losses of my estates; 'twill keep me occupied until the small hours. So it is now or never! Or, at least until the morrow."

Eudoric glanced at Forthred who, coloring, stared at the floor. "Forthred, set the game board where none shall disturb it; we'll finish the play anon." Following Yolanda towards the bedchamber, he continued: "But tell me, how went your visit to the King and his minister. Where stand I?"

"Still ambiguous," she threw back. "I gat no promises from that precious pair, save that they commit no bale without further consultation. Forsooth, I know better than to trust the promises of kings, even mine own brother."

Eudoric wondered whether, in this hectic atmosphere, he would fare any better than he had with Riguntha.

The next day, Yolanda again departed early for Letitia. Increasingly dissatisfied, Eudoric determined to have a look around the estate. But when he opened the huge front door, two marids barred the way.

"La'! La'!" they said, holding arms out. "Mush rûh!"

"Out of my way!" shouted Eudoric, putting a hand on each bare leathery chest and shoving.

Instead of his pushing them aside, they seized his arms, hoisted him into the air, carried him back across the threshold, and tossed him in a heap. These beings, he realized, were so much stronger than any mortal man that wrestling with them would be as futile as with the orthodox ogre. By the time he had scrambled to his feet, the door had closed behind the demons.

Boiling with rage, Eudoric prowled the palace. There were three other ground-floor entrances, all guarded by marids. He went up the marble stair and investigated the second-story rooms. Wherever he looked out a window, two or three marids were patrolling beneath, now and then glancing up.

Eudoric summoned Forthred again, saying: "It transpires that I am clapped up here at Her Highness's pleasure."

" 'Tis and easy form of jailery, sir, if ye'll excuse my so saying."

"True; nobody's beating me, and the fare will make me swell like a bullfrog if I limit not my aliment. But I will be no noble lady's lapdog. Have the marids hindered your movements?"

"Nay, sir. I went to the stables early this morn, to make sure that our beasts were properly cared for, and none gainsaid me."

"Whence I infer that their orders include not you. Go to the stables, take one of our horses, and tell the grooms the nag needs exercise. Then ride in to Letitia and find the old Serican magician Tsudai." Eudoric gave directions for finding the palace and, in case Tsudai should be at home, his dwelling. "Ask him to come out here to see me. He owed me for saving him from assault."

"Hath he a beast of burden or a carriage?"

"I know not. Belike he could fly hither if he wished. Lead the mule, saddled, and give him his choice of mounts. He looks aged and frail; but having seen him hold off a band of bravos single-handed, I suspect his appearance to be deceptive."

From a window in the princess's bedroom, Eudoric watched his helper ride off leading the mule. The autumnal wind blew a shower slantwise, bringing with it an armada of leaves transformed to bronze or gold.

Back in the library, Eudoric tried to read the history of Franconia but found it hard to concentrate. Further examining the shelves, he came upon a group of books on love, marriage, and the female temperament. These seemed so out of keeping with the rest of the library, whose content was heavily historical and political, that Eudoric suspected the works had once belonged to husband number three, Count Sugerius. He pulled out a fat volume and settled himself to read.

Two hours later, Forthred returned with Tsudai astride the mule, and the marids made no attempt to stop the two from entering the palace. After greetings, Eudoric said:

"Learned Doctor, know you aught of the King's intentions towards me? The princess keeps me locked up here, like a felon, on the pretext that otherwise, Clothar and Brulard would have me shortened by a head."

Shedding the voluminous black cloak that he wore over a robe of purple silk, the Serican gave a squeaky little laugh. "This person doth assure your noble self that there be naught to the tale. After the King and minister had thought on the matter, they decided they were just as pleased. They would that ye tame this fair if formidable lady. They admit that the task doth call for a hero of legend; but lacking genuine giantkiller, they hope ye will qualify."

"Easier to tame a bull olifant in rut," grumbled Eudoric. "My one burning wish is to burst from this gilded guardhouse and return to my homeland. Any remaining scruples have been laid to rest by the knowledge that my bride has sought to deceive me."

"Leaving loving bride behind?" asked Tsudai. "That seems to this superficial person a departure from usual course of love amongst round-eyed Westerners."

" 'Twas a marriage of inconvenience," said Eudoric. "If she's fain to follow me to Arduen, we shall see how it fares with us; if not, be hers the choice. There will be no broken hearts in any case."

"Will indissolubility of Franconian marriages cause your noble self perplexities?"

"I think not; the Empire allows divorce. Next: Canst get me out of here?"

"Aye; this inferior one can put marids to rout. When wouldst depart?"

"As soon as Forthred can pack our gear. Whilst he is so occupied, let me show you the door to her magic room. She refused me admittance; so, naturally, I am curious as to what's within."

Tsudai said: "Sir Eudoric, your humble servant is eager to please your noble self. But if ye remember the fairytales, curiosity oft leads the curious one to do things that he later regret. Are ye sure ye wish me to open this portal?"

"I'm certain, Doctor; be the responsibility mine. Go ahead, if you can."