The James Bond Anthology

15 | CRAB-MEAT

The cough sounded about twenty yards away, towards the river. Bond dropped to one knee, his senses questing like the antennae of an insect. He waited five minutes. When the cough was not repeated, he crept forwards on hands and knees, his gun gripped between his teeth.

In a small clearing of dried, cracked black mud, he saw the man. He stopped in his tracks, trying to calm his breathing.

Scaramanga was lying stretched out, his back supported by a clump of sprawling mangrove roots. His hat and his high stock had gone and the whole of the right-hand side of his suit was black with blood upon which insects crawled and feasted. But the eyes in the controlled face were still very much alive. They swept the clearing at regular intervals, questing. Scaramanga’s hands rested on the roots beside him. There was no sign of a gun.

Scaramanga’s face suddenly pointed, like a retriever’s, and the roving scrutiny held steady. Bond could not see what had caught his attention, but then a patch of the dappled shadow at the edge of the clearing moved and a large snake, beautifully diamonded in dark and pale brown, zigzagged purposefully across the black mud towards the man.

Bond watched, fascinated. He guessed it was a boa of the Epicrates family, attracted by the smell of blood. It was perhaps five feet long and quite harmless to man. Bond wondered if Scaramanga would know this. He was immediately put out of his doubt. Scaramanga’s expression had not changed, but his right hand crept softly down his trouser leg, gently pulled up the cuff and removed a thin, stiletto-style knife from the side of his short Texan boot. Then he waited, the knife held ready across his stomach, not clenched in his fist, but pointed in the flick-knife fashion. The snake paused for a moment a few yards from the man and raised its head high to give him a final inspection. The forked tongue licked out inquisitively, again and again, then, still with its head held above the ground, it moved slowly forward.

Not a muscle moved in Scaramanga’s face. Only the eyes were dead steady, watchful slits. The snake came into the shadow of his trouser leg and moved slowly up towards the glistening shirt. Suddenly the tongue of steel that lay across Scaramanga’s stomach came to life and leaped. It transfixed the head of the snake exactly in the centre of the brain and pierced through it, pinning it to the ground and holding it there while the powerful body thrashed wildly, seeking a grip on the mangrove roots, on Scaramanga’s arm. But immediately, when it had a grip, its convulsions released its coils which flailed off in another direction.

The death struggles diminished and finally ceased altogether. The snake lay motionless. Scaramanga was careful. He ran his hand down the full length of the snake. Only the tip of the tail lashed briefly. Scaramanga extracted the knife from the head of the snake, cut off its head with a single hard stroke and threw it, after reflection, accurately towards a crab hole. He waited, watching, to see if a crab would come out and take it. None did. The thud of the arrival of the snake’s head would have kept any crab underground for many minutes, however enticing the scent of what had made the thud.

James Bond, kneeling in the bush, watched all this, every nuance of it, with the most careful attention. Each one of Scaramanga’s actions, every fleeting expression on his face, had been an index of the man’s awareness, of his aliveness. The whole episode of the snake was as revealing as a temperature chart or a lie-detector. In Bond’s judgement, Mr Scaramanga, for all his blood-letting and internal injuries, was still very much alive. He was still a most formidable and dangerous man.

Scaramanga, his task satisfactorily completed, minutely shifted his position, and, once again, foot by foot, made his penetrating examination of the surrounding bush.

As Scaramanga’s gaze swept by him without a flicker, Bond blessed the darkness of his suit – a black patch of shadow among so many others. In the sharp blacks and whites from the midday sun, Bond was well camouflaged.

Satisfied, Scaramanga picked up the limp body of the snake, laid it across his stomach and carefully slit it down its underside as far as the anal vent. Then he scoured it and carefully etched the skin away from the red-veined flesh with the precise flicks and cuts of a surgeon. Every scrap of unwanted reptile he threw towards crab holes and, with each throw, a flicker of annoyance crossed the granite face that no one would come and pick up the crumbs from the rich man’s table. When the meal was ready, he once again scanned the bush and then, very carefully, coughed and spat into his hand. He examined the results and flung his hand sideways. On the black ground, the sputum made a bright pink scrawl. The cough didn’t seem to hurt him or cause him much effort. Bond guessed that his bullet had hit Scaramanga in the right chest and had missed a lung by a fraction. There was haemorrhage and Scaramanga was a hospital case, but the blood-soaked shirt was not telling the whole truth.

Satisfied with his inspection of his surroundings, Scaramanga bit into the body of the snake and was at once, like a dog with its meal, absorbed by his hunger and thirst for the blood and juices of the snake.

Bond had the impression that, if he now came forward from his hiding-place, Scaramanga, like a dog, would bare his teeth in a furious snarl. He got quietly up from his knees, took out his gun and, his eyes watching Scaramanga’s hands, strolled out into the centre of the little clearing.

Bond was mistaken. Scaramanga did not snarl. He barely looked up from the cut-off length of snake in his two hands and, his mouth full of meat, said, ‘You’ve been a long while coming. Care to share my meal?’

‘No thanks. I prefer my snake grilled with hot butter sauce. Just keep on eating. I like to see both hands occupied.’

Scaramanga sneered. He gestured at his blood-stained shirt. ‘Frightened of a dying man? You limeys come pretty soft.’

‘The dying man handled that snake quite efficiently. Got any more weapons on you?’ As Scaramanga moved to undo his coat, ‘Steady! No quick movements. Just show your belt, armpits, pat the thighs inside and out. I’d do it myself only I don’t want what the snake got. And while you’re about it, just toss the knife into the trees. Toss. No throwing, if you don’t mind. My trigger-finger’s been getting a bit edgy today. Seems to want to go about its business on its own. Wouldn’t like it to take over. Yet, that is.’

Scaramanga, with a flick of his wrist, tossed the knife into the air. The sliver of steel spun like a wheel in the sunshine. Bond had to step aside. The knife pierced the mud where Bond had been standing and stood upright. Scaramanga gave a harsh laugh. The laugh turned into a cough. The gaunt face contorted painfully. Too painfully? Scaramanga spat red, but not all that red. There could be only slight haemorrhage. Perhaps a broken rib or two. Scaramanga could be out of hospital in a couple of weeks. Scaramanga put down his piece of snake and did exactly as Bond had told him, all the while watching Bond’s face with his usual cold, arrogant stare. He finished and picked up the piece of snake and began gnawing it. He looked up. ‘Satisfied?’

‘Sufficiently.’ Bond squatted down on his heels. He held his gun loosely, aiming somewhere half-way between the two of them. ‘Now then, let’s talk. ’Fraid you haven’t got too much time, Scaramanga. This is the end of the road. You’ve killed too many of my friends. I have the licence to kill you and I am going to kill you. But I’ll make it quick. Not like Margesson. Remember him? You put a shot through both of his knees and both of his elbows. Then you made him crawl and kiss your boots. You were foolish enough to boast about it to your friends in Cuba. It got back to us. As a matter of interest, how many men have you killed in your life?’

‘With you, it’ll make the round fifty.’ Scaramanga had gnawed the last segment of backbone clean. He tossed it towards Bond. ‘Eat that, scum, and get on with your business. You won’t get any secrets out of me, if that’s your spiel. An’ don’t forget. I’ve been shot at by experts an’ I’m still alive. Mebbe not precisely kicking but I’ve never heard of a limey who’d shoot a defenceless man who’s badly wounded. They ain’t got the guts. We’ll just sit here, chewing the fat, until the rescue team comes. Then I’ll be glad to go for trial. What’ll they get me for eh?’

‘Well, just for a start, there’s that nice Mr Rotkopf with one of your famous silver bullets in his head in the river back of the hotel.’

‘That’ll match with the nice Mr Hendriks with one of your bullets somewhere behind his face. Mebbe we’ll serve a bit of time together. That’d be nice, wouldn’t it? They say the jail at Spanish Town has all the comforts. How about it, limey? That’s where you’ll be found with a shiv in your back in the sack-sewing department. An’ by the same token, how d’you know about Rotkopf?’

‘Your bug was bugged. Seems you’re a bit accident-prone these days, Scaramanga. You hired the wrong security men. Both your managers were from the C.I.A. The tape’ll be on the way to Washington by now. That’s got the murder of Ross on it too. See what I mean? You’ve got it coming from every which way.’

‘Tape isn’t evidence in an American court. But I see what you mean, shamus. Mistakes seem to have got made. So okay,’ Scaramanga made an expansive gesture of the right hand. ‘Take a million bucks and call it quits?’

‘I was offered three million on the train.’

‘I’ll double that.’

‘No. Sorry.’ Bond got to his feet. The left hand behind his back was clenched with the horror of what he was about to do. He forced himself to think of what the broken body of Margesson must have looked like, of the others that this man had killed, of the ones he would kill afresh if Bond weakened. This man was probably the most efficient one-man death-dealer in the world. James Bond had him. He had been instructed to take him. He must take him – lying down wounded, or in any other position. Bond assumed casualness, tried to make himself the enemy’s cold equal. ‘Any messages for anyone, Scaramanga? Any instructions? Anyone you want looking after? I’ll take care of it if it’s personal. I’ll keep it to myself.’

Scaramanga laughed his harsh laugh, but carefully. This time the laugh didn’t turn into the red cough. ‘Quite the little English gentleman! Just like I spelled it out. S’pose you wouldn’t like to hand me your gun and leave me to myself for five minutes like in the books? Well, you’re right, boyo! I’d crawl after you and blast the back of your head off.’ The eyes still bored into Bond’s with the arrogant superiority, the cold superman quality that had made him the greatest pro gunman in the world – no drinks, no drugs – the impersonal trigger man who killed for money and, by the way he sometimes did it, for the kicks.

Bond examined him carefully. How could Scaramanga fail to break when he was going to die in minutes? Was there some last trick the man was going to spring? Some hidden weapon? But the man just lay there, apparently relaxed, propped up against the mangrove roots, his chest heaving rhythmically, the granite of his face not crumbling even minutely in defeat. On his forehead, there was not as much sweat as there was on Bond’s. Scaramanga lay in dappled black shadow. For ten minutes, James Bond had stood in the middle of the clearing in blazing sunshine. Suddenly he felt the vitality oozing out through his feet into the black mud. And his resolve was going with it. He said, and he heard his voice ring out harshly, ‘All right, Scaramanga, this is it.’ He lifted his gun and held it in the two-handed grip of the target man. ‘I’m going to make it as quick as I can.’

Scaramanga held up a hand. For the first time his face showed emotion. ‘Okay, feller.’ The voice, amazingly, supplicated. ‘I’m a Catholic, see? Jes’ let me say my last prayer. Okay? Won’t take long, then you can blaze away. Every man’s got to die some time. You’re a fine guy as guys go. It’s the luck of the game. If my bullet had been an inch, mebbe two inches, to the right, it’d be you that’s dead in place of me. Right? Can I say my prayer, Mister?’

James Bond lowered his gun. He would give the man a few minutes. He knew he couldn’t give him more. Pain and heat and hunger and thirst. It wouldn’t be long before he lay down himself, right there on the hard cracked mud, just to rest. If someone wanted to kill him, they could. He said, and the words came out slowly, tiredly, ‘Go ahead, Scaramanga. One minute only.’

‘Thanks, pal.’ Scaramanga’s hand went up to his face and covered his eyes. There came a drone of Latin which went on and on. Bond stood there in the sunshine, his gun lowered, watching Scaramanga, but at the same time not watching him, the edge of his focus dulled by the pain and the heat and the hypnotic litany that came from behind the shuttered face and the horror of what Bond was going to have to do – in one minute, perhaps two.

The fingers of Scaramanga’s right hand crawled imperceptibly sideways across his face, inch by inch, centimetre by centimetre. They got to his ear and stopped. The drone of the Latin prayer never altered its slow, lulling tempo.

And then the hand leaped behind the head and the tiny golden Derringer roared and James Bond spun round as if he had taken a right to the jaw and crashed to the ground.

At once Scaramanga was on his feet and moving forward like a swift cat. He snatched up the discarded knife and held it forward like a tongue of silver flame.

But James Bond twisted like a dying animal on the ground and the iron in his hand cracked viciously again and again – five times, and then fell out of his hand on to the black earth as his gun-hand went to the right side of his belly and stayed there, clutching at the terrible pain.

The big man stood for a moment and looked up at the deep blue sky. His fingers opened in a spasm and let go the knife. His pierced heart stuttered and limped and stopped. He crashed flat back and lay, his arms flung wide, as if someone had thrown him away.

After a while, the land crabs came out of their holes and began nosing at the scraps of the snake. The bigger offal could wait until the night.