The Juliette Society

19

I’m looking at myself in a picture that hangs above a bed. It’s picture of the way I was. And I almost don’t recognize myself. It feels like I’m dreaming but my eyes are wide open.

I’m standing naked. Cockle shells cover my nipples and an oyster shell covers my sex. Cumulus clouds roll above my head like waves. Waves roll over my head like dunes shifting in the wind.

I’m walking on a beach. Shells crunch underneath my feet. No matter how careful I am, no matter how lightly I tread, they crunch and break. I look down and I see they’re not shells but bones. I’m walking on a beach of bones. I can taste the salt air on my tongue. I can feel the sharp edges of the bones underneath my feet, digging into the flesh. The beach is uneven and I’m unsteady on my feet, as if negotiating broken paving stones in stiletto heels.

I walk until I reach a boardwalk crowded with young couples, glowing with love. They’re all walking in one direction, and I’m walking in the other. I’m walking naked through them. They all stare at me as they pass by and I feel exposed. But I hold my head up high and keep walking.

I walk toward the end of the boardwalk, where naked men in carnival masks stand in a line along the rail, tugging at their erections. They’re waiting for me to arrive. And I don’t want to disappoint them. I get down on all fours and stick my butt up high and wiggle it, like it’s sniffing the air, to signal that I’m ready.

The first one approaches. He puts his hands on my hips, crouches down to my level and sinks his cock deep into my pussy, all the way to the hilt, and then slowly draws himself all the way out till I can feel the tip of his cock teasing my hole, preparing to plunge inside me again. He starts to fuck me with long, hard strokes. His balls are slamming against my clit and it feels so good that I pant and claw the ground.

Jack is walking along the boardwalk arm in arm with Anna. He doesn’t notice me. He walks right past me, right past the men who are stroking their cocks, waiting their turn to fuck me. He stops maybe twenty feet away and leans back against the railing with his elbows hanging over the edge. Anna kneels down in front of him and unzips his trousers, reaches inside and pulls out Jack’s penis. She holds it with her fingers around the shaft and her thumb extended along the head, the way I would hold it, licks it along the shaft, the way I would lick it, places her lips over the head and slowly draws his length into in her mouth. Anna is sucking Jack’s cock the way I would. I look at Jack’s cock in Anna’s mouth and imagine it’s the cock in my pussy.

And I want Jack to look up and see me being fucked like this, on all fours, by the stranger in the carnival mask. I want Jack to know that I’m imagining him inside me. Like the men in my dreams, I want him to accept me as I am. So that we can be together.

I wake with a start, as if from a terrible nightmare. Jack’s lying next to me in bed, asleep, and I grab him and wrap my arms around him, hear him gently stir, and feel the warmth of his body seep into mine. I feel safe and comforted and wanted. But I want more.

I run my hands across his chest, down his belly, and slide my fingers into his pubic hair, nudging my middle finger down so it strokes the base of his penis. I stroke it gently until I can feel it start to harden underneath my finger, then I slide my hand down further and grab hold of his cock, meaty and thick and semi-hard. I stroke the base with my thumb and twist my fingers around the shaft. I can feel him stiffen in my hands and then his cock is erect and upright and ready for action. I let go so I can lick my hand, and I get it good and wet with saliva then wrap it around his shaft again. As I slide it up and down and make him slick with my spit, I hear him moan, roused from his slumber into half-sleep.

I want Jack’s cock inside me. I want it so fucking bad and I don’t care if he’s conscious or not. I swing my leg across his body, feel his cock brush against my thigh, raise myself up and straddle him. I put my hand on his chest to steady myself, look down and see him half-open his eyes just in time to see me reach back and grab his cock so I can hold it in place while I spear myself on it. I slide back and slowly lower myself down onto him. He lets out a sleepy little satisfied moan. My pussy opens up to accommodate him, getting wetter with every inch.

He’s conscious now and nestled deep inside me. He starts to slowly rotate his hips. His cock is brushing back and forth inside me. And I follow his lead, riding him, rotating my hips in perfect motion with his, like we’re two cogs in a machine. I lean forward over him, and he moves with me, bending his knees and arching his back so that he can brace himself to push inside of me. I hold steady to feel his cock sliding in and out of my hot wet pussy.

I say, ‘Fuck me, Jack. Fuck me harder.’

And he does, slamming into me twice to show me his power, then settling into an emphatic rhythm. He wants to please me. I let out a long satisfied moan, breathlessly pant his name, and bury my head into the pillow, smothering his face with my tits. I run my fingers through his hair and pull his head to my breast and feel his hot breath on it as his mouth searches for the nipple.

My breast is in his mouth. He’s sucking it into him and I can feel my nipple swell and harden as he teases it with his tongue, as he tugs it with his lips and gently bites down, pulling and stretching it with his teeth.

His hands grab my breasts and squish them together so he can lick and suck and bite them, one after the other and then both at the same time. Now he’s got a taste of me, he’s getting greedy. He’s devouring my tits with his mouth and his cock is pounding into me. I can feel myself starting to come. And I want him to know.

I say, Jack, I’m going to come. I’m going to come.

I raise myself up, put my hand on his chest and grind down hard on his cock because I want to feel him deep inside me when I come.

I grind down until he’s all the way inside me and I can feel his balls pressing against the cheeks of my ass. I hear his breath quicken, I hear him moan and I know he’s close too. So I grind down harder and slowly circle my hips. And he moves with me, he breathes with me and he moans with me. We’re both on the verge and I want to lead him there. I can feel myself coming and I want him to know.

‘I’m coming Jack, I’m coming, I’m coming.’

And I barely get the words out before I climax.

I buck and thrash on top of him, as the orgasm surges through me, my pelvis moving in quick little powerful thrusts along his shaft. And it’s too much for him too. He moans long and loud as he comes inside me. I can feel his cock twitch inside me as he fills me with his load. I can feel him judder as his body comes to rest. And I collapse on top of him, feeling his chest rise up to meet mine as we both gasp for air.

I roll off him, lie on my side. He rolls onto his, facing me. I clasp him to my breast. We both lie there, exhausted. I listen to his breathing, hear it slow down and change in pitch and I know he’s asleep.

I’m lying in bed, thinking about where I’ve been, what I’ve seen and how I got this way. And I realize something that I’ve always known but taken for granted:

Half of sex is the dreaming.