CHAPTER NINETEEN

Carter


I could hardly breathe as I stalked out of the RV and headed out to the deeps. I kept moving for one reason and one reason only. If I stopped moving, I would turn around, go back, and ask Lily to stay. I’d fucking beg her.

The idea of doing that terrified me. Because if I did, she would know just how much I loved her, how much I needed her. I couldn’t ever let her know that because then she really wouldn’t leave. She would stay with me. And eventually, she’d get hurt again. Something worse than being shot in the shoulder. Something more permanent. Something more horrible. Something I couldn’t even consider.

Even the thought made the blood in my head pound. It was like I was in a fight with a Tick, the way my vision faded to black at the periphery.

Which was why I didn’t even hear Ely approaching behind me until it was too late. Ely grabbed my arm and before I even realized what I was doing, I turned on him, slammed him into the next rock column, and held him, dangling there with my forearm wedged against his neck.

My vision cleared just enough for me to realize what I’d done. I lowered my friend to the ground. Ely just stood there for a moment with his hands raised and palm out in a gesture of innocence.

“What the hell, man?”

I didn’t answer that question. Instead I jammed a finger in his face. “You keep her safe. Do you understand me?”

“Yeah. I got that.”

“No. I mean, no matter what. You keep her safe.”

“Of course.”

“Like she was yours. That’s how safe she needs to be. Like she was your sister, your whatever. You put her first. Above anything else. Got it?”

Ely dropped his hands to his side. He jutted out his jaw and bumped up his chin. “I’m insulted you even think you have to say it.”

I studied him. The outrage in his expression, the anger.

Yeah, I was taking a huge risk in sending him with Lily instead of bringing him with me to San Angelo, but if I couldn’t go with Lily myself, then I wanted Ely with her. No one had been on his own longer than he had. No one knew how to stay alive like he did. There was no one in the known world who could keep Lily safer than Ely could.

And when it came down to it, Ely would be able to protect her in a way I couldn’t. If it came down to protecting Lily—not the body, not the life, but the person she was, Lily the human—Ely would do whatever was necessary. He would make the tough call in a way I knew I would never be able to.

She’d said it herself more than once. If she was exposed, she’d all but begged me to take the next step. To do what was necessary. Today, she’d realized exactly what that meant.

But would I do it? If it came down to it, would I be able to kill the girl I loved and mutilate her body? Probably not.

But Ely would do it.

I just hoped that it never came to that.

“Listen, if you make it up to Canada—”

“We’re gonna make it,” Ely interrupted.

“If you make it and there’s still something there. If there’s any kind of civilization, if there’s any guarantee of safety at all, you make sure she stays.”

Ely studied me for a second, like he was trying to figure out just how serious I was about this.

“I mean it. If you find someplace she can be safe, you leave her there. Got it?”

“What about coming back for everyone else? Isn’t that what you said she should do?”

“Yeah, well, I lied. If you find safe haven for them, then that’s where I want them to be. You can come back yourself, but you leave them there.”

“You really think Lily’s going to put up with that?”

“You say or do whatever you need to do. If you find a place she can be safe, then I never want to see her again.”

I didn’t wait around to see if Ely responded after that. He understood just what I meant.

Ely was the one person I trusted to keep Lily safe and to kill her himself if he didn’t.

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