The Last Deep Breath

10

Turned out Premium Friends was a ritzy place down in the East Village. Grey met the madam and two bouncers out in the vestibule, who checked him out and put a little quiz to him that was supposed to force him to admit to being a cop if he was one. The madam was an Asian woman who was on the wrong side of fifty but still hanging in there. Her glossy black hair wagged and waved whenever she turned her head the slightest bit. He imagined her starting out as a pro playing the geisha girl, wearing teakwood sandals and telling guys in broken English how huge their cranks were.

The bouncers were the usual muscle-bound no-neck types with faces blurred from past battles. The only difference was these two were well-dressed in double-breasted suits.

Once Grey had passed muster he was charged a “membership fee” and they let him into the bar. This was the meeting area where you checked out the ladies who promenaded around in evening ware or lingerie. They slinked up beside you to ask your name and touch your arm and laugh at your lame jokes to make you feel comfortable.

If you wanted to take them out to a club or a social function, the date was one price. You wanted to stay in and maybe go visit one of the rooms in back, you paid something else. All major credit cards accepted. They chatted him up while he asked everyone in sight if Johnny was around.

He kept asking for Johnny and they kept saying, “Johnny who?” The ladies had no idea and he got the feeling they were telling the truth. He wasn’t sure what else to do but tell it straight. He said he was Ellie’s brother and that she’d been hurt and he’d found the card and knew what she did and he wanted to get some information from her employers and fellow employees. They said they had no idea who Ellie was.

It got the bouncers up in his face. They said he was bothering the girls. They ushered him into a different back room than the ones where you had sex. They worked his gut and kidneys for about five minutes. It was nothing compared to what the MP’s used to do to him when he was fucking around off base. He kept asking about Ellie and Johnny and the bruisers just looked at him like he was crazy. They tried to drag him out the back door into the alley but they hadn’t hurt him nearly as bad as they’d thought. He walked out on his own power past the madam, asked her the question too, and saw no flicker of deceit in her eyes when she said she didn’t know. He described Ellie to her. She said there were lots of girls who fit that description and he figured she was right. The bouncers started getting itchy to kick the shit out of him again and got in close, breathed threats in his ear.

Total bust. Grey grabbed a cab home.

Ellie was still out cold but he didn’t like the idea of leaving her on the couch alone until morning, so he changed her dressings and carefully hefted her into the bedroom. He crawled in beside her and made sure he laid far enough away from her that he didn’t accidentally roll over and re-open her wound.

At three in the morning he got up and pissed a little blood. He checked Ellie’s bandages again and got her to wake up long enough to give her the antibiotics. In a stupor she said, “We’re both naked.”

“Yeah.”

“Did we have sex?”

“No.”

“Do you want to?”

It was a tough question to answer, even if he did consider her to be his sister. It wasn’t kink. It wasn’t fetish. He loved her. He hadn’t loved anyone else in a very long time and a need to hold on to and be held by someone you loved was almost overpowering. While he stood there thinking about it she passed out again and solved the problem.

In the morning when he woke she was gone.

So were the pills, some of his clothes, and the rest of the stash from the bottom of his closet.

She left a note saying:

Thank you. I love you. Forgive me. I’ll see you again one day.

He called T.S. and asked, “My sister. What name did she perform under?”

“Give me a second.”

Grey could hear T.S. rummaging through his porn collection. Grey knew it was extensive but it sounded like T.S. was climbing over boxes, digging through two or three closets, unlocking trunks.

“No, not this one…no…no…Assbusters 7, this it?…no…no…Cum Home for Christmas…this the one?…wait…no…Sidesaddle Sally…Knee-deep Throat…Teen Cum Dumpsters…no…”

“T.S., you don’t have to read all the-”

“Here it is. Teen Ball Busters 2. Yeah. Her name is…Eva Rains. That’s right, now I remember. She did a lot of movies with Harvey Wallbanger, him and his twelve-inch wonder of the world. I think they were a couple. You know, in real life.”

“Thanks.”

Grey called Pax’s U.S. number and left a voice mail. If he wasn’t in the hot zone he’d call within the next day or two.

It took less than two hours. Pax said, “You should’ve phoned sooner.”

“I had my hands full.”

“Tell me everything.”

Grey told him everything and Pax said, “Wait for me.”

“I’m not sure that I can.”

“I’ll be done with this leg of my tour in less than three months.”

“That’s too long. I have to do something.”

“All you have to do is wait for me. In fact, you don’t even have to do that much. You can forget it ever happened, go on about your business.”

Pax was too kind to tell him that he would probably just fuck things up. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Then sit tight and just wait.”

But Grey hadn’t been able to do that either. He checked the phone book, found nothing. He checked the Internet, found about ten thousand websites devoted to Eva Rains. The message boards went on and on. The fanboys were some seriously fucked up individuals. Half of them wanted to marry her, half of them wanted to plow her to death.

Grey scoured the streets. He watched Premium Friends. He tried it again and the bouncers sapped him and left him lying on the edge of the East River.

He waited for her to find him again. But she was gone.

He had to move, even if he went nowhere fast.

So he sold the big entertainment system and the rest of his belongings, cleaned out his bank account, and drove across the country, heading west, killing time, meeting women who wanted to off their husbands. The coast pulled at him, like lips sucking out venom. He got closer and closer. He did his best to wait for Pax. He probably would’ve held out until Pax was back in the States if he hadn’t met Kendra and been led right to the town where he wanted to go. He was going to visit Harvey Wallbanger and his twelve-inch wonder of the world. It was just the way it had to be.