24
For two days Vague Henri had been searching up and down the Swiss border to find the crossing where IdrisPukke had promised, if he survived, to try and arrange safe passage. But he had warned Vague Henri to be careful and his plan had not included bringing with him slightly more than a hundred and sixty Purgators, whose presence would be likely to put off even the most heavily bribed guard. As it happened, when he recognized the Rudlow crossing IdrisPukke had described and shouted out the password ‘IdrisPukke’ all he got in reply some twenty seconds later was a volley of arrows and crossbow bolts.
Returning, Vague Henri brought the bad news to Cale. He was sitting by a small fire on his own, as he always did when Vague Henri was away. His loathing for the Purgators and refusal to have anything to do with them unless he was obliged to was interpreted by them as a sign of his splendid isolation – a mark of holiness not hostility. He was reading the letter Bosco had given him before the second battle of the Golan and which he’d put in one of his many pockets then forgotten about in the face of more pressing business.
‘What’s that?’ asked Vague Henri as Cale looked up from his reading and quickly put the letter away.
‘Nothing.’
‘Why so anxious to hide nothing?’
‘What I meant when I said it was nothing is that it’s none of your bloody business.’
The conversation that followed about what Vague Henri had found on his expedition was predictably bad-tempered. When they had finished Vague Henri went off and built his own bonfire.
They left at dawn and probed further up the border for nearly two days looking for a likely weak spot where a silent entry might be made. But it was clear from the ditches, fences and other obstructions being built that the Swiss were becoming nervous and preparing for something unpleasant.
In the end they decided to find the nearest and least guarded crossing close to Spanish Leeds and make a dash for it. Insomniac, twitchy Switzers might have been expecting something but they were not expecting it now, tonight. In any case, the guards on the Wanderley crossing were inexperienced and the sudden emergence of a hundred and sixty soldiers out of the dark at three in the morning took them completely by surprise. They surrendered immediately and were tied up in their guard block. All except one, who hid in the nearby forest and as the Purgators left let loose a defiant arrow which took Vague Henri full in the face as he looked back to check everyone had passed through safely.
Redeemer Gil stood silently in the Vamian Room watching Bosco staring out of the window at the great Chapel of Tears, where the surviving princes of the church had been locked up and told that they would not be allowed out until they came to a wise verdict in harmony with the manifest will of God. This wise verdict in harmony with the manifest will of God was the election of Bosco as Pontiff to replace Pope Bento, who had died of a stroke after he had been told during a brief bout of clarity of the great victory at the Golan Heights. He was also informed that Gant and Parsi had been plotting to kill him but were now dead along with a great many of their treacherous Antagonist followers. The mixture of elation followed by horror proved too much for the frail constitution of the old man.
And so for Bosco the last great problem in pursuit of his goal to become the supreme representative of God on earth had dispersed like the early morning mists in Vallombrosa. It was as if he was standing at the top of an impossible mountain and having, against every obstacle of rock and ice and precipice, arrived at the top only to look down and see truly the sickening horror of what had been attempted. But it was not his life that had been at risk from the terrible fall and the smashing of bones but his immortal soul. Staring at the Chapel of Tears he began to shake – not that even the watchful Gil noticed anything but the usual thoughtful calm. But Bosco’s soul vibrated like the aftermath of the great bronze bell of St Gerard’s struck only on the occasion of the election of a Pope of the Universal Church of the Hanged Redeemer. It was said that if you held a tuning fork to it even a week after it had been struck it would make the fork resonate from the still-vibrating bell. But for Bosco the blow from the horror he had set loose would stay with him until the day he died. The most terrible ideal, after all, lay still in front of him: the purifying death of everything. He almost fainted from the enormity of what he’d done and what was still to do. The strange atmosphere in the room made Gil uneasy, however little he understood its origins. At last he could no longer endure it.
‘The ritual of the Argentum Pango has been performed on the late Pontiff and he has been taken to the mortuary for the funeral preparations.’
The Argentum Pango was a test, its origin long lost in the fog of Redeemer tradition, that involved the striking of three blows to the forehead of the Pontiff with a silver hammer in order to be quite sure he was dead. The Redeemer who struck the first of the three blows had never performed the ritual before, it having been so long since the death of the preceding Pope, and hit the forehead of the corpse with such vigour that it left a dent. A bad-tempered Gil pointed out that he was supposed to wake him up not make sure he was dead, and taking the hammer from him finished the job with two light taps.
He also confirmed, since he wrongly thought that Bosco seemed unusually calm, the more important information that Cale had indeed used his pursuit of the Laconics as a means of escape and that he was thought already to be in Spanish Leeds with his Purgators.
There had been a distinct cooling between Gil and Bosco after the former’s suggestion that he be allowed to hurry along the death of the late Pope. Gil still felt deeply aggrieved at the refusal, even though the situation had resolved itself so conveniently without the need to take such a dangerous step. Just luck, was what Gil thought, I was in the right. Bosco had not in any way tried to imply his greater wisdom or judgement in the matter because he also felt he had been fortunate. But then it is in the nature of such resentments that he didn’t have to. Bosco looked out at the smokeless chimney of the Chapel of Tears used to signal the election of a new Pontiff. ‘Any longer,’ he said, ‘and I’ll give them something to cry about.’
But what was really on their minds was not the Pontifical election, about which there could be no doubt, but Thomas Cale. Only a few days before, Gil would have offered to follow the treacherous little shit to the bottom of the fourth quarter and beyond and have taken great satisfaction in wiping the sweat from his forehead with the impious ingrate’s still-beating heart.
Now apparently his old master had grown too proud to listen to what he had to say. Still, he could not refuse the chance to pour salt in Bosco’s wounds.
‘What do you want done about Cale?’
Without looking at Gil, Bosco spoke softly.
‘Nothing. Leave him to heaven. Our Father has caught him with an unseen hook and an invisible line which is long enough to let him wander to the ends of the world and still to bring him back with a twitch upon the thread.’
That’s what you think, Redeemer Gil wanted to say. In his opinion neither of them would see Cale again, not this side of the grave, not if they all lived to the age of Metushelach. Or not unless it was to bring disaster.
There was a loud banging on the door as if whoever was on the other side was desperate to escape the pursuit of some soul-hungry devil. ‘Redeemer Bosco! Redeemer Bosco! Open the door! Open the door!’
It was not so easy to alarm Bosco but even through the six inches of wood the confusion and fright of whoever was on the other side were clear. Bosco signalled to Gil who, so alarmed by the terror in the voice, opened the door with one hand and held his other on the butt of his knife. He pulled it open swiftly and stood back.
At first he barely recognized the man so distorted was his expression by astonishment and fear.
‘What on earth’s the matter? Hardy, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, Lord,’ said the distressed Redeemer.
‘Calm down.’ Gil turned to Bosco. ‘This is the Redeemer in charge of funeral rites for the Pontiff.’
‘My Lord,’ began Burdett. It was all clearly too much for him. He began to gasp so noisily they were like the sobs of a terrified child.
‘Control yourself, Redeemer,’ said Bosco softly. ‘We’ll wait for you.’
Burdett stared at him, wide-eyed, utterly shattered. ‘You must come, Lord.’
Seeing that they would get nothing more out of the deeply distracted Redeemer, Bosco told him to lead the way and they followed in silence, but they, too, now feeling as if hammers, and not silver ones, were beating them on the head. The silence was interrupted only by the still frenzied gasps of the Redeemer leading them deep into the cellars of the great cathedral. In no more than five minutes they were down in a part of the complex they had never imagined existed, ugly and drab and brown with endless streets of corridors leading off the dimly lit route and into the vasty dark beyond.
After a few minutes Hardy stopped in front of a purple door and opened it wide without knocking, holding the door open for the two men whose presence seemed to terrify him more with each passing moment. Both of them were used to the fear of others in their presence but there was something deeply unsettling about this man, dread rather than fear.
Bosco first, they entered suspicious and apprehensive, utterly clueless as to what disaster waited, though they could sense disaster it was. The room was windowless but well lit with the best candles, including one almost the thickness of a man’s waist just next to something that looked like a bed but was not. On the embalming table covered up to his neck in a linen sheet was the late Pope. Either side of him, it was clear from their aprons and gloves, were two embalmers, faces the yellowy white of old ivory, with expressions that gave off the same exquisite anxiety. Burdett shut the door behind them but still said nothing.
‘Enough now,’ said Bosco. ‘What’s this about?’
Burdett looked at the two embalmers as if he could barely stop himself from being sick and nodded. The embalmers reached for the linen sheet that covered the Pope’s body and quickly rolled it down to his feet and removed it without drama. The body of the late Pope was naked, thin, pasty pale, wrinkled and saggingly ancient. His legs though were unusually parted, slightly more than you would expect when displaying the naked body of a Pope. There was a most terrible silence, perhaps one unlike any other in the history of silence. It was Gil who spoke first.
‘My God, they’ve stolen the Pope’s cock!’