The Law of Second Chances

52

The week before Benny’s trial, Luis took a train to the Ossining Correctional Facility, better known as Sing-Sing. He’d heard about the place all his life. It was where prisoners had always been executed in New York.

Luis had called beforehand to make arrangements to see Benny and to make sure somebody told Benny he was coming. He didn’t want to surprise him again; Luis’s heart couldn’t take it. Jack had called the warden as well and asked that the two men be allowed to meet in a private room. This was the second time Jack had spoken with the warden, and they had developed a bit of a rapport. He pointed out that Benny was still presumed to be an innocent man even though he was already a resident in a maximum-security prison. The warden didn’t agree to the request right away; he had to make some calls of his own. He got back to Jack the next day to tell him he’d authorized the private meeting.

Luis was shown in first. The room had windows that looked into the prison hallway. He waited nervously for his son to arrive, not knowing what kind of reception he would receive this time. As he sat, he wondered if it was a good idea to be meeting Benny without some bars between them. Then the door opened and two guards brought Benny into the room. They removed his handcuffs and promptly left. Luis watched them just to make sure they were staying close to the window and could see inside.

“How ya doin?” Benny said pleasantly as he extended his hand.

This simple gesture melted Luis’s heart on the spot. “I’m doing okay. I’m a little nervous.”

“About being in a room alone with me?”

“Oh no, no-about your trial coming up.”

“Oh yeah, that. There’s nothing we can do about that. It is what it is.”

“Yeah,” Luis replied. There was an awkward silence for about thirty seconds.

“Listen,” Benny began, “I want to apologize for the way I acted last time I saw you.”

“There’s no need to apologize,” Luis told him. “You have a right to feel the way you do.”

“That’s just it. I don’t feel that way anymore. I’ve had a lot of time to think in here. And that new lawyer you got for me, Jack Tobin, and his partner, the big black guy, they said some things that made me think a little differently. You had your own shit to go through with the war and losing your best friend-”

“That’s no excuse,” Luis interrupted him.

“Well, I have no excuses either, Pop. I made a mess of my life too. If the war and losing your best friend isn’t an excuse for you, then you not being around isn’t an excuse for me. I’ve gotta take responsibility for my own shit. I’ve been a pimple on the ass of this world for too long.”

Luis wanted to recognize the significance of what Benny was saying-that he was taking ownership of his life. It was the first step toward any type of new beginning. But he couldn’t do it right away. For the moment, he could only focus on one word-Pop. Luis would polish that word, put it in his pocket, and take it with him from the prison that day. Over the next week as the pressure mounted, he would take it out and listen to its sweet sound and it would relax him. That one word made him a father again.

He addressed everything else a few seconds later.

“Benny, it’s a long life. We can stumble and bumble and make a mess of it all and still right the ship in the end. Look at me. I’m drug free. I have my own business. Look at Henry, the big black guy. He was on death row for seventeen years.”

“Yeah, I hear ya, Pop.” There it was again. “But I don’t think I’m gonna be getting any second chances anytime soon. I just want you to know that I appreciate what you’re doing for me. And I don’t want you to carry any guilt around with you if things go bad in that courtroom. I want us to make peace with each other right now.”

Luis didn’t know what to say. This was what he’d been hoping for for so long. This was a dream he’d thought would never come true. Tears filled his eyes. Try as he might, he couldn’t stop himself from crying. Once he started, it was like a dam bursting. Benny went over to console him. The guards at the window took notice of the contact. Benny put up his hand to let them know everything was okay. He held his father until he had no more tears left.