The Limping Goose

10

Hard knuckles pounded the door of Room 821. Johnny roiled over in bed and looked at the door. The knuckles massaged the door panels once more.

“Who is it?” he called.

“Open up, Fletcher,” cried a voice outside the door.

Sam Cragg sat up in bed. “What’s the idea, wakin’ a man in the middle of the night?”

Johnny threw back the covers and strode to the door. He shot back the bolt and whipped open the door. J.J. Kilkenny, smiling nastily, stepped in. Sam shook his head, let out a roar and started around the bed to get at Kilkenny.

The skip tracer coolly produced a snub-nosed revolver. “I’m not going to skin my knuckles on you, fat boy.”

“Fat boy?” roared Sam Cragg. “Put down that dingus and I’ll twist you into a pretzel.”

“Uh-uh,” said Kilkenny. He reached back with his foot and shut the door. “Business before pleasure.”

“I’ve got no more business with you,” snapped Johnny.

“Oh yes, you have,” sneered Kilkenny. “Remember that money you collected on the skip was twenty-two dollars short.”

“You forgot my ten-dollar commission.”

“I applied that on your own account.” Kilkenny pointed to Sam Cragg with his revolver. “I haven’t forgotten that little tab for the ape’s mandolin.”

“Who you callin’ an ape?” demanded Sam.

“You,” retorted Kilkenny.

Sam took another quick step forward, but Kilkenny kept the revolver pointed at him. “Come ahead, fatso.”

“You’ve got no right to carry a gun,” Johnny said angrily.

“I got a license, that gives me a right.”

“Since when are they giving licenses to bill collectors?”

“People threaten me,” smirked Kilkenny. “A man’s got a right to defend himself. Like now — I got a claim against you birds and if you make a pass at me, I can shoot you and nothin’ll happen to me. I’m only defending myself.”

“I ain’t sure that pea-shooter’d even hurt me,” said Sam Cragg dourly. “Don’t crowd your luck.”

“I’ll make this short and sweet,” snapped Kilkenny. “You didn’t give me all the money that Miss Cummings gave you. I happen to know that she gave you a piggy bank full of small change. I want it.”

Johnny’s eyes went involuntarily to the dresser where the limping goose bank had stood the day before. It was gone and for a moment Johnny thought that someone had stolen it. Then he recalled having swept it off the dresser into an open drawer the night before.

“There’s only a bunch of pennies in the bank.”

“Yeah, about twenty bucks’ worth. I want them.”

“You’re welcome if you can get them out of the bank. I couldn’t. The slot’s too narrow.”

Kilkenny held out his free hand. “Give.”

Johnny turned his back on the bill collector and headed for the dresser. As he passed Sam, he winked and said quickly in an undertone, “Ready!”

He reached past Sam, pulled open the dresser drawer and took out the bronze limping goose bank. “Here,” he said to Kilkenny, and tossed the bank to him. He threw it to the right of Kilkenny, so the bill collector had to lunge for it with the hand holding the gun. The bank struck the gun and for an instant Kilkenny tried to juggle both the revolver and the limping goose.

That was enough for Sam. He took a headlong plunge at Kilkenny, both hands flailing out. His head hit Kilkenny’s midriff, his left hand struck the bill collector’s right arm and closed around it. He gripped it savagely, twisting as both he and Kilkenny hit the floor.

Kilkenny cried out hoarsely in pain and the gun clattered to the floor. Johnny scooped it up just as Sam hit Kilkenny a short chopping blow on the chin with his fist.

Both Johnny and Sam stood up. Kilkenny’s eyes were closed and he was moaning. Sam prodded him with his bare foot. “Cut out the stalling,” he said, “I hardly hit you.”

Kilkenny’s eyes opened. “Help me up,” he groaned.

“Get up yourself.”

Kilkenny got painfully to his feet, but the fight was gone from him. “That was a sneaking trick you pulled,” he said to Johnny.

“Just like yours yesterday,” Johnny replied cheerfully.

“You want to go another fall?” Sam asked.

“Gimme my gun,” said Kilkenny, holding out his hand.

“Nixay,” said Johnny, “that’s one of the rules of the game. You pull a gun on a man and he takes it away from you, it’s his gun.”

“That roscoe cost me twenty-seven fifty second-hand.”

“That’s twenty-seven fifty you’re out.”

Kilkenny blinked, drew a great breath and exhaled. “All right, if that’s the way you’re going to play. I’ll remember it. It’ll be my turn again next time.”

“I’ll be carrying his rod,” Johnny said darkly. “You try anything on me when Sam isn’t around and I’ll be defending myself. Remember that.”

Kilkenny pointed to the limping goose bank. “At least, can I have that?”

“I just told you — you lost.”

“But you still owe me twenty-two bucks on the Cummings skip,” protested Kilkenny, “not to mention the sixty-seven on the Ajax mandolin bill. That’s eighty-nine bucks, altogether. All right, I promised you ten dollars for locating Cummings. That’s seventy-nine bucks. Le’me have the bank and I’ll knock off twenty — say, twenty-four — and call it an even fifty-five.”

“Call it an even seventy-five,” retorted Johnny. “I like it better.”

Kilkenny scowled. “Watch yourself, Fletcher. I’m a bloodhound. When you’re least expecting me, I’ll pop up — and the gorilla won’t be around.”

“Gorilla!” cried Sam, and made another lunge at Kilkenny. But the star of the Acme Adjustment Agency collection force had had enough. He sprang back, whipped open the hall door and leaped through. Sam, in pajamas, closed the door and whirled back.

“That’s what I like before breakfast,” he cried cheerfully. “A workout. Gives me an appetite.”

“We’ve got a buck forty-five,” said Johnny. “Let’s eat!”

A half hour later Johnny and Sam sat in the Automat, with Sam polishing off his second order of corned beef hash. He looked wistfully across at Johnny. “D’you suppose I could have another order, Johnny?”

Johnny shook his head. “We’ve now got left the sum of twenty cents, Sam.”

Sam smacked his lips. “The Automat makes the best corned beef hash in town, maybe in the whole country. Don’t you think you could spend a couple of those dimes, the ones that ain’t so old?”

“No, you’ve had enough to eat now. Sometime during the day I’ll get that advance from James Sutton, then you can fill up. Right now, I think we’d better start earning that money.”

“Where can you start on a deal like that? The guy disappeared twelve years ago.”

“From where?”

“How would I know?”

“Sutton isn’t going to be much help. He wants information but he doesn’t give out any.”

“Yeah, like last night. He didn’t even want us to know where he lived.”

“The man who could probably tell us more about young Smithson than anyone is old Jess Carmichael.” Then, as Sam winced: “He’ll probably be busy with the police commissioner this morning. I think maybe we’ll try it from the back door.”

“What back door?”

“Alice Cummings’s.”

“Oh, no!” cried Sam.

“She hates us,” Johnny mused. “She may be mad enough so she’ll spill something.” He nodded. “Yes, I think we’ll run up to her little old apartment.”

“You never do things the easy way, do you, Johnny?” groaned Sam. “I ought to have some more corned beef hash if we’re gonna face that little lady.”

“Later.”

The receptionist at the Chateau Pelham tore off her headphone as Johnny and Sam walked past her desk, headed for the elevators.

“Just a moment, please!”

Johnny grimaced, but turned back. “We’re just going up to see Miss Cummings.”

“Everyone must be announced.”

“She’s expecting us.”

“Is she? Well, I’ll still have to announce you. Let’s see, one of you is Mr. ah Fletcher, is it?”

“What a memory!” exclaimed Johnny.

“I remember you both. And I do not think Miss Cummings will want to see you. However...” The operator made a phone connection, waited a moment, then said, “Miss Cummings, those two men who were here yesterday... Yes, that’s right... Fletcher...” She showed surprise, then nodded. “Very well, Miss Cummings,” She broke the connection and said disapprovingly to Johnny, “You may go up.”

Johnny winked at her. “I told you she was expecting us.”

They stepped into the elevator. Sam regarded Johnny, puzzled. “I didn’t think she’d let us in.”

Johnny shrugged. “Women!”

They stepped out on Alice Cummings’s floor and before Johnny could even press the door buzzer, the door was opened by Alice Cummings. She was wearing an expensive dressing gown of a delicate violet color. A smile was on her lips, but none in her eyes.

“Come in, Johnny,” she said cordially. “And — Mr. Spragg, is it?”

“Cragg, lady, Sam Cragg.”

“Sam,” Alice Cummings purred. She regarded Sam fondly. “Strong, aren’t you?”

“The strongest man in the world,” Sam replied proudly, flexing his muscles as he passed Alice into the apartment.

Alice Cummings closed the door. “I’m glad you came,” she said, addressing Johnny. “I was a little short of money yesterday. But I have it now.”

“Oh, I didn’t come because of that,” Johnny said. “We’re all squared away, financially.”

“But I don’t believe I gave you enough. I was several dollars short, wasn’t I?”

“We’re always glad to take money,” Sam said.

Johnny shook his head. “You were a little short, but I said it was all right, so it’s settled. You don’t owe a thing.”

Alice Cummings crossed to a table and picked up a red leather purse. “I always pay my debts. Let’s see, the total bill was seventy-four dollars, I believe. And I gave you... how much in bills?”

“Fifty-seven. But—”

“Then I owe you seventeen dollars.” She took out a fat roll of bills and began peeling off notes. “Now, if you’ll just give me back the little bank I gave you for security...”

“I haven’t got it with me.”

“You can get it.” She looked at him sharply. “You haven’t had time to spend those coins, have you?”

“No,” said Johnny, “but don’t bother. I accepted them in full payment.”

“I want them back. I’ve been saving them for a long time.”

“They were only pennies and dimes and quarters. About six dollars’ worth...”

“Get them for me, please. I want them.”

Johnny hesitated. “I don’t know whether I still have them all.”

“You had no right to spend them. They — they’re rare coins.”

“That ain’t what the coin dealer said,” Sam exclaimed. “He offered us two for one, that’s all.”

“So you’ve taken them to a coin dealer,” said Alice Cummings. Her eyes, already hard, became flinty. “You had no right. I gave you that bank just for security—”

“Ever hear of a man named Kilkenny?” Johnny suddenly shot at her.

“Kilkenny—” Alice caught herself. “What’s he got to do with this?”

“He wanted the bank, too.”

“Who is Kilkenny?”

“He’s a collector for the A.A.A. — the Acme Adjustment Agency.”

“Isn’t that the outfit you work for?”

“Not exactly. I don’t really work for the A.A.A. — I was just helping out J.J.”

“Look, Fletcher,” Alice Cummings said bluntly. “I don’t give a hoot and a holler for this A.A.A., or J.J. Kilkenny, or you. I’ve paid you your money and I want what’s mine. I want that goose bank and what’s in it. And I want it now.”

Johnny said, “How long is it since you’ve seen Lester Smith-son?”

Johnny was not sure whether the name scored or not. Alice was already pretty angry. She exclaimed, “Who the devil is Lester Smithson?”

“Jess Carmichael’s cousin.”

“I’m not talking to you about Jess Carmichael. All I want from you is that bank and the coins it contained. I want it today — as soon as you can get it.”

Johnny held out his hand for the seventeen dollars. “All right, Alice, you’ll have it.”

Alice drew back. “Not so fast, you’ll get this money when I get mine. You’ll be back in — an hour?”

“Maybe sooner.” Johnny signaled to Sam and they left the apartment.

In the elevator going down, Sam said, “You got the coins in your pocket, haven’t you? You could’ve given them to her.”

“I would have given them to her, but she was too anxious.”

“That seventeen bucks wouldn’t be bad. That’s about all the coins would bring.”

“According to the dealer we talked to last night. But there are other dealers.”

“The seventeen bucks is sure.”

Johnny made no further comment until they had left the building. Then he said, “Hasn’t it occurred to you that Kilkenny was awfully anxious to get that bank?”

“That’s his job. You know how bill collectors are. He said himself that he was a bloodhound.”

“So am I,” said Johnny grimly. “At least, I’ve got the nose for one and I’m beginning to smell a strange odor. I think we’ll run back to the hotel.”