The Lion of Boaz-Jachin and Jachin-Boaz

21

The night sky, pinky-grey, leaned close to chimneys, rooftops, hesitantly touched black bridges and the winding river. I am beautiful only if you look at me, the sky said.

I can’t be everybody, said Jachin-Boaz, wise with the mind of sleep and knowing his dream for a dream. His words were an answer to which the question was a sensation of something very big, something very small. Which part of it am I?

Ha ha, laughed the answer, strutting in the mind that would forget it on awakening. See how simple it is? Male or female? Choose.

Something very big, something very small, thought Jachin-Boaz. There is a sob I don’t let out, there is a curse I don’t speak, there is a turning away from whom, there is a black shoulder of what?

Well, said the answer, this is the place you tried to avoid, but it is not to be avoided.

I can cover it with a map, said Jachin-Boaz. Then there will be world.

He spread out the map, so thin! Like tissue paper. The black shoulder heaved up through it, tore it. As from a heaving mountain Jachin-Boaz fell away.

I can cover it with a map, he said again, spreading vast miles-wide tissue paper over the black abyss. He ran lightly across its surface that billowed in a dreadful rising black wind. See! he cried as he fell through the tearing tissue paper, I’m not falling!

Right, said the answer. See how simple? Betrayed or betrayer? Choose. Either way you win the loss of everything.

I cry in the throat, said Jachin-Boaz.

Yes, said the answer.

I curse in the dark, said Jachin-Boaz.

Yes, said the answer.

From me all turns away, said Jachin-Boaz.

Loss unending, said the answer.

She will save, said Jachin-Boaz.

Whom you betray, the answer said.

He will save, said Jachin-Boaz.

Who turns away, the answer said.

World is there if I hold fast to it, said Jachin-Boaz. World is there if you let go? the answer said. Dare to find out?

I’ll let go if I can hold on while I’m doing it, said Jachin-Boaz. Lion-skins make stronger maps than tissue paper, he thought. He stood on the window ledge looking down. Far below him the firemen held taut the lion-skin.

No use telling me to jump, said Jachin-Boaz. Not even in a dream.

We all know what a no is shaped like, said the answer.

Right, said Jachin-Boaz. We know and the noes know.

Had your noes cut off lately? said the answer.

Come closer, said Jachin-Boaz darkly to the answer. It was very big, and he was very small and frightened. He woke up with his heart beating fast, remembering nothing.

Half-past four, said the clock on the night table. The lion would be waiting. Let him starve, thought Jachin-Boaz, and went back to sleep.