CHAPTER TEN

New York City, 1993

Sadie sat in the middle of the floor of Lonnie’s spare bedroom—the one her mother had stayed in—surrounded by clothes, looking for something fancy to wear. She’d let herself in with her key when no one answered the doorbell, knowing that several boxes of their mother’s belongings sat piled up in one corner, packed up for the Salvation Army after she’d died. But Sadie’s quest had come to a screeching halt after she’d come upon her mother’s wedding dresses, wrapped in plastic, at the very bottom of the last box.

The first one was a cream dress suit with a peplum jacket. That was from her wedding to Sadie and Lonnie’s father. The second, from her wedding with the hateful Don, was a fifties-style white silk dress that hit just above the knee. At the small celebratory dinner after, she and Lonnie had watched as their new stepfather accidentally spilled red wine down the bodice while giving a boisterous toast. Sadie ran her finger down the stain, which had faded to a dull pink.

How funny that Pearl had saved them, after all these years. It went against her own advice to Sadie, that she hand her own wedding dress over to a consignment shop the same day she signed the divorce papers. “I don’t want you looking at it in your closet every time you open it, Sadie,” Pearl had said. “Buy yourself something pretty instead.”

She had, finding a turquoise cocktail dress with a tight bodice that flared into a full skirt, perfect for twirling on the dance floor. Not that she’d ever twirled, but wearing it made her feel that she might become the kind of woman who did. That dress had sent her down the thrift store rabbit hole, a quest that took up entire Saturdays that otherwise would have been filled with wondering what Phillip was up to, and with whom. Whenever she wore her latest find, people asked about her outfit instead of asking about her life. It was a kind of armor, she supposed.

Pearl hadn’t saved much over the years. There were no letters or scrapbooks filled with photos. Just some clothes, including the wedding dresses, but nothing was right for what Sadie had in mind.

“So pretty!”

She hadn’t heard Valentina and Robin enter the town house. Valentina gave her a hug as Robin watched from the doorway.

“Lonnie and LuAnn have the Salvation Army coming later today to pick this all up,” said Robin. “Is that okay, or do you want me to delay it?”

“No, no need to delay.” She smiled as Valentina fingered a black shawl with a long fringe. “Your grandmother used to wear that all the time.”

Valentina shrugged it over her thin shoulders, giggling.

“Not quite what I was hoping for, though.” Sadie sighed.

Robin sat on the bed. “What is it you’re looking for?”

“Something fancy, that makes me look like I’m rich.”

Sadie had convinced Mr. Adriano to let her hit the flagged bookstores on his list and see if she could sniff out The Scarlet Letter. Mr. Adriano had dismissed the idea at first, but she convinced him that her knowledge of rare books was imperative in this instance. Besides, he looked too much like an ex-cop, she’d pointed out, and he hadn’t been able to refute that. When he still hesitated, she’d threatened to do it with or without his support, because she couldn’t stand the thought of sitting around and not taking action in some way. Reluctantly, Mr. Adriano had agreed to give it a shot. As long as they got permission from Dr. Hooper.

She needed to look like a rare book collector if she was going to pull this off, and none of her own clothes would do. Her hope had been that her mother’s boxes might hold a silk blouse or nice jacket that she could wear.

“I know!” Valentina jumped up and disappeared. A minute later she returned, holding a cache of clothes on hangers, across two arms like she was carrying a bride over a threshold. “Try on these.”

She tossed them on the bed.

“Valentina, these are your mother’s clothes,” said Robin.

“She’s away on business. She won’t care. Go on, try this one.” She held up a crimson double-breasted blazer that came with a chunky black belt.

For a child, Valentina had a good eye. The blazer was cut long and settled nicely over Sadie’s hips, and the fabric and stitching were of excellent quality. She held herself straight and stared into the full-length mirror on the back of the closet door. Not bad at all.

“I need something to layer on top. Is there anything that might work?”

Valentina put her finger to her chin as if she were a saleslady at Saks. “What about a scarf? She has a ton of them.”

Together, she and Valentina found a patterned silk scarf that picked up the color of the blazer. When Sadie draped it around her neck, Valentina laughed and clapped her hands.

“You just need some pretty earrings and a necklace and you’ll be good to go,” said Robin.

“I know, follow me!” Valentina shrieked.

They did so into the master bedroom, where Valentina rummaged through her mother’s jewelry box.

“Take care, Valentina.” Robin got up and gently extricated a pearl necklace and matching earrings. “How about these?” She walked over to Sadie and placed the earrings in her hand before lowering the necklace over her shoulders.

Sadie put on the earrings and turned around, offering a silly curtsy to her beaming audience.

“You look super fancy,” said Valentina.

“Very nice,” echoed Robin.

“What on earth is going on in here?”

Lonnie stood in the doorway, wearing scrubs. LuAnn was right behind him, a shiny carry-on bag slung over one shoulder.

“Mommy’s home!” said Valentina, running to her mother.

Sadie looked around, seeing the room as Lonnie and LuAnn did: the closet, empty of a slew of clothes, the open jewelry box, and, in the middle of it, herself, wearing LuAnn’s blazer and pearls.

Lonnie and LuAnn exchanged a look; then Lonnie glanced irritably at the closet. “Where are LuAnn’s clothes? What are you guys all doing in here?”

“I’m so sorry,” volunteered Sadie. “I was going through Mom’s things because I needed a classy outfit, but they were all from forty years ago, and somehow we ended up in here.”

Valentina rushed to explain, picking up on her dad’s distress. “Mommy’s clothes are in Grandma’s room ’cause we started off in there. Doesn’t Aunt Sadie look nice?”

LuAnn smiled, but there was a weariness in her eyes. Then again, she’d been traveling the past few days and was probably looking forward to a long soak in the tub. “She sure does. And it’s fine. You guys can rifle through my closet anytime.”

“Come on, Valentina, let’s put everything back,” offered Robin. Valentina sprang up, and LuAnn followed them out of the room.

Sadie took off the blazer and hung it back up, straightening the collar as she did so. She looped the scarf around the hanger and placed the jewelry back in the jewelry box. Lonnie had taken LuAnn’s carry-on from her and began unpacking it. The simple act of kindness on his wife’s behalf made Sadie’s heart melt.

“Sorry about all this, Lonnie. I meant to just go through Mom’s stuff.”

“Is there anything you want to keep of hers? I meant to ask you the other day.”

“Are you kidding? That goes against everything she stands for. Remember how she tossed out Dad’s clothes a week after he died?”

Pearl had done so the day after she’d caught Sadie weeping on the floor of his closet, enveloped in his favorite leather jacket. Pearl had gotten rid of the clothes not to punish Sadie, she knew, but to take away any conduit to sadness. She’d only wanted her children to be happy, which left no room for grief.

“I do. Remember what she baked the day after Dad’s funeral?” said Lonnie.

The image of a towering cake sitting on the kitchen counter came back to Sadie in a flash. “Of course. It was like a crazy seven-layer chocolate cake that normally you’d make for a birthday party or something.”

Lonnie started to laugh. “Double chocolate. I ate three pieces and then threw up. Haven’t touched one since.”

“She always said she liked to bake because it was scientific, that if you added the right ingredients at the right time, in the right order, you’d never go wrong.” She sighed. “I miss her.”

Lonnie’s shoulders slumped.

“You okay, big brother?”

“Yeah. I miss her, too. And it was a long day at work.”

She sat on the edge of the bed and sighed. “Same here.”

This made him laugh.

“Don’t laugh, librarians can have bad days. Maybe not that someone died during your shift, but still.”

“So someone talked too loudly?” He was grinning again; she liked it when he teased her.

“Actually, someone stole another rare book from the Berg Collection.”

He stored LuAnn’s carry-on in the closet and sat beside Sadie on the bed. “Another? How?”

“We don’t know yet.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that.”

“They’ve hired this security consultant, so hopefully he’ll get to the bottom of it.”

“Between the two of you, I have no doubt you will. How did the newsletters you found go over with the director?”

After everything that had happened the past week, the fact that Lonnie had remembered the small details of Sadie’s work life made her want to cry. “He’s interested, but he wants something more.”

“And he still doesn’t know you’re related to Laura Lyons?”

“To a suspected book thief? No. And I don’t plan on telling him. I’ve been rereading the few interviews Laura Lyons gave, and she blatantly refuses to talk about her time in New York. Something happened. I want to find out what, just as I want to find my missing books.”

LuAnn returned with an armful of her own clothes, having sent Robin and Valentina off to the park. Sadie explained what she needed the outfit for, and made sure to mention the detective’s involvement, to make it more official.

LuAnn nodded. “Of course. That blazer suits you, by the way. Literally.” She laughed at her own joke, which made Sadie laugh, too. “Lonnie, will you go and make us some tea?”

After he left, Sadie and LuAnn began rehanging everything back in the closet.

“How’s Valentina doing?” asked Sadie. “With my mom’s death, and all.”

“I’ve been away the past couple of days, but when I’ve called her around bedtime, she’s weepier than usual, asking questions about where Grandma went, wanting to talk about the morning when we realized she was gone. It was a shock, but she’s doing okay.” LuAnn paused, a faraway look on her face. “I remember when I was a little kid, my parents told us that they’d have to put our dog to sleep. Max was a big old hound, arthritic and slobbery, but had the sweetest disposition. They took him to the vet and came back and were upset, and I couldn’t really figure out why.”

“You thought they meant Max was just sleeping?”

“Exactly. But even after it had been explained, the loss didn’t resonate with me the way it did with them. I’d never seen my father cry before that. Of course, looking back now, I can see that the dog was part of their early life together, he represented so much. And since I’d never had a loss, I didn’t realize what it entailed.”

Sadie understood exactly what LuAnn meant. “After the first experience of the death of someone you love, each later one is exponentially more painful, because you know how hard it will be to recover from the loss.”

“Yes. I was trying to explain this to Lonnie last weekend, but he didn’t get it. I knew you would.”

Not for the first time, Sadie was grateful that Valentina had a mother like LuAnn, one who was willing to do the deep emotional dive, to examine what lay beneath the surface. Pearl had always refused. Yet she’d always been capable, tough, a survivor. But of what?

“How are you doing?” LuAnn asked, breaking into her thoughts.

“I’m fine. But I’m worried about what’s going on at the library, with the missing books.”

“How’s Claude with all this? Still sulking at his rejection?”

“I swear, you bring him up every chance you get,” said Sadie, swatting LuAnn with her hand. LuAnn had been so excited when Sadie had confessed to the stolen kiss, it had been slightly unnerving. Like maybe she considered Sadie’s presence in their lives an intrusion, the lonely aunt who stuck her nose into everything—including their wardrobes—and who would now go off and get a life of her own. “It wasn’t a big deal, and it’s over anyway. Thank goodness, as now I’m his boss. It’s awkward enough.”

LuAnn’s expression was warm, her mouth flickered up in a smile. “If you say so.”

“I keep telling you he’s got the reputation at the library of being a playboy; I dodged a bullet there. Besides, I’m going to be like my grandmother, an independent woman of letters.”

“That’s a fine choice to make,” said LuAnn, gently. “As long as you’re not throwing yourself into work as a way of avoiding something else.”

“Like what?” Sadie felt her defenses rising.

“Like the fact that your mother just passed away.”

Sadie patted her knee and rose from the bed. She really should be going. “Don’t worry, I’m fine.”


As Sadie made her way down the steps of the brownstone, she spied Robin and Valentina in the small park across the street. Valentina was playing with three other girls on the monkey bars and gave a cheerful wave. Instead of heading home, Sadie joined Robin on a bench in the shade of an elm tree.

Sadie nodded in Valentina’s direction. “She looks happy. Is she okay?”

Robin nodded. “She was a little worried she’d done something wrong, but I explained to her that no one was mad at her and it was fine.”

They watched the children playing. “How long have you been in New York?” Sadie asked.

“I moved to the city late last year, from Massachusetts. I figured I’d do some nannying before deciding what else I might do with my life.”

“What are you considering?”

“I don’t know. Maybe fashion. Did you always want to be a librarian?”

“I did. I loved my high school librarian, looked up to her immensely.”

Robin pointed to the shopping bag at Sadie’s feet. “You got out with the loot?”

“I sure did.”

“Watch me!” Valentina kicked up her legs and held a handstand, before bending her back as if she had no spine and landing on her feet, finishing with her hands held high. “It’s a walkover.”

“Amazing.” Sadie clapped her hands. “One more time, bendy girl.”

Valentina took a moment to prepare before launching into the move.

“Be sure to look at the ground as you go over,” advised Robin. “Nicely done. Do you want some carrots?”

Robin dug into her handbag and pulled out a plastic bag of carrot sticks. Valentina gnawed on one while leaning on Sadie, one arm thrown around her neck. “Robin said all the grown-ups are acting weird because of Grandma’s death,” she said.

Sadie shot Robin a look of gratitude and pulled Valentina closer. “I suppose we are. Sometimes after someone dies, the people left behind can act funny, because they miss her.”

“Your mother was very sweet,” said Robin.

Sadie raised one eyebrow. “I don’t know if I’d use that exact word. That last night, I do wish I’d been kinder to her, though.”

“Don’t worry, Aunt Sadie.” Valentina leaned in, putting her forehead against Sadie’s. She smelled of clean laundry. “I came back to say good night. Grandma was upset, but then I told her it was okay and she smiled and said she knew the truth about the stolen tambourine, and hadn’t told a soul. She said she was good with secrets.”

Sadie pulled back, studying her niece. “The truth about what?”

“The stolen tambourine.”

The girl wasn’t making sense. Pearl hadn’t played any instruments; Sadie’s father was the only one with musical talent in the family. And Sadie didn’t remember any tambourines lying around.

“Did you hear any of this?” Sadie turned to Robin, who shook her head.

“I was cleaning up in the kitchen. Does it mean something to you?”

Sadie shook her head and locked eyes with Valentina. “A tambourine? Are you sure Grandma said a tambourine?”

Repeating the word, the meaning clicked in. It wasn’t a musical instrument her mother had been talking about. “I think she meant to say ‘Tamerlane.’ Does that sound right?”

“Sure,” said Valentina.

“Did she say who stole the Tamerlane?”

Valentina blew her bangs out of her eyes. “Her father.”

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