The Lubetkin Legacy

Violet: Cholera Big Leak

Violet feels both relieved and annoyed. Relieved because it’s only that dotty old lady from next door standing there buzzing the bell, not some sinister killer or mugger, nor even Greg with his disconcerting stare. Annoyed because it’s after nine o’clock, and she wants to tell her to go away, but finds herself politely inviting her to come in.

‘You come it golabki kobaski slatki wit us?’ The old lady peers around the hallway with undisguised curiosity.

How long has this old lady managed to survive in the UK with such appalling English? Those people who bang on about compulsory English lessons for foreigners may have a point. Her Grandma Njoki has never even been to England, but even she can speak better.

‘I make for you is get cold, you come it.’

‘That’s very kind of you. Maybe another time.’

‘Not other, come now, Berthold waiting.’

Berthold: that’s the name of that funny old guy next door who gave her an empty coffee jar.

‘Please give my apologies to Berthold, but I’ve already had my supper.’

‘You no worry, Berthold make no problem — he homosexy, no ladies.’

She hadn’t guessed he’s gay, but that’s definitely a plus: she can relax and have fun without worrying about giving out the wrong signals or attracting unwanted advances.

‘You Africa?’ The old lady studies her with frank curiosity. ‘Which country you from?’

‘I was born in Kenya but I’ve lived —’

‘Aha, Kenya! My husband, Dovik, been there for bacteriophage research. Cholera. Big leak.’

What on earth is she on about? Maybe she should go and say hello out of friendliness, so he doesn’t think she’s homophobic. But it is getting late.

‘It’s really a bit too late. I’m just on my way to bed.’

‘No worry. He got birthday. New chain special for you.’

‘Chain?’ What does this signify? The guy is a weirdo, but he seems harmless enough.

‘I’d love to. But as you can see, I’m already in my pyjamas.’

‘Pyjama no problem.’

The old lady seizes her hand and pulls her out through the door into the night.