The Man Who Made Husbands Jealous

CHARACTERS

EDWARD BARTHOLOMEW ALDERTON

A significant grandchild.

ARCHANGEL MIKE

Landlord of The Pearly Gates Public House and captain of Paradise Cricket XI.

JULIA ARMSTRONG

A passionate painter.

BEN ARMSTRONG

Her husband — a caring beard in computers.

ASTRID

A comely Palm Beach groom.

MISS BATES

A temp with tempting ankles.

BEATRICE

A fair flautist misused by Rannaldini.

JAMES BENSON

A very smooth private doctor.

BONNY

A Palm Beach polo groupie.

SABINE BOTTOMLEY

Headmistress of Bagley Hall — a less caring beard.

TEDDY BRIMSCOMBE

Larry Lockton’s gardener.

MRS BRIMSCOMBE

His wife.

BUNNY

An ace Gloucestershire vet.

RUPERT CAMPBELL-BLACK

Multi-millionaire owner/ trainer, ex-world show-jumping champion, Mecca for most women.

TAGGIE CAMPBELL-BLACK

His second wife — an angel.

MARCUS CAMPBELL-BLACK

His son — an embryo concert pianist.

TABITHA CAMPBELL-BLACK

His daughter — a teenage tearaway.

SEB AND DOMMIE CARLISLE

The heavenly twins. Vastly brave professional polo players, whose serious wildness has been tempered by the recession.

CHLOE CATFORD

Talented mezzo-soprano and Boris Levitsky’s mistress.

BLUEY CHARTERIS

Rupert Campbell-Black’s first jockey.

LADY CHISLEDEN

An old boot and a pillar of Paradise.

CLIVE

Rannaldini’s sinister black-leather-clad henchman.

MRS COLMAN

David Hawkley’s secretary — nicknamed ‘Mustard’ by the boys because she’s so keen on him.

CAMERON COOK

A talented television termagent.

MISS CRICKLADE

Winner of the home-made wine class at Paradise Church fete for ten years running.

DANNY

One of Rupert Campbell- Black’s stable lads.

DIZZY

Rupert Campbell-Black’s head groom. A glamorous divorcee.

FERDINAND FITZGERALD

Fat Ferdie. Lysander Hawkley’s best friend and minder. Estate agent and fixer who is riding the recession with a cowboy’s skill.

RICKY FRANCE-LYNCH

Polo captain of England.

DAISY FRANCE-LYNCH

His painter wife, a friend of Julia Armstrong.

GERALDINE

Guy Seymour’s London secretary.

GRAYDON GLUCKSTEIN

Chairman of the New World Philharmonic Orchestra.

HELEN GORDON

Rupert Cambell-Black’s first wife.

BOB HAREFIELD

Orchestra manager of the London Met. A saint.

HERMIONE HAREFIELD

His seriously tiresome wife. Rannaldini’s mistress. One of the world’s leading sopranos and an applause junkie.

LITTLE COSMO HAREFIELD

A four-year-old fiend.

LYSANDER HAWKLEY

A hero of our time.

DAVID ‘HATCHET’ HAWKLEY

Lysander’s father and an unmerry widower. Headmaster of Fleetley — a top English public school.

DINAH HAWKLEY

An old soak, and the widow of David Hawkley’s much older brother, Alastair.

HEINZ

A colourless assistant conductor at the London Met.

THE REVEREND PERCIVAL HILLARY

A portly parson who confines his pastoral visits to drinks time.

JOY HILLARY

His wife. A bossy boots.

BEATTIE JOHNSON

A seductive, totally unprincipled journalist.

FREDDIE JONES

Electronics supremo and director of Venturer Television.

BORIS LEVITSKY

A glamorous, temperamental composer who defected from Russia in the eighties. Assistant conductor at the London Met and lover of red wine, red meat and red-blooded women.

RACHEL LEVITSKY

His English wife. A concert pianist who has sacrificed her career to bring up two children: Vanya and Masha. Performs under her maiden name, Rachel Grant.

LARRY LOCKTON

Chief Executive of Catchitune Records and a rough diamond.

MARIGOLD LOCKTON

His once-ravishing wife, who is finding to her cost that rough diamonds are not for ever.

ISAAC LOVELL

A brilliant jump jockey.

SHERRY MACARTHY

A ravishing neglected American wife.

GEORGIE MAGUIRE

A sixties singer/songwriter and sex symbol. Slightly long-in-the-capped tooth, but poised for a massive come-back.

DANCER MAITLAND

A rock star.

MARCIA MELLING

A susceptible divorcee, one of Rupert Campbell-Black’s owners.

OSWALDO

A colourful guest conductor of the London Met.

MR PANDOPOULOS

Another of Rupert Campbell-Black’s owners.

MRS PIGGOTT

Georgie Maguire’s daily. Nicknamed Mother Courage because of her fondness for a pint of beer.

ROBERTO RANNALDINI

One of the world’s greatest conductors. Musical director of the London Met and a very evil genius.

KITTY RANNALDINI

His much younger third wife who runs his life like clockwork.

WOLFGANG RANNALDINI

Rannaldini’s son from his first marriage, a good sort.

NATASHA RANNALDINI

Rannaldini’s daughter from his second marriage: a handful in all senses of the word.

CECILIA RANNALDINI

Rannaldini’s second wife and a world famous diva. Given to throwing plates and tantrums.

GUY SEYMOUR

A bishop’s son and Georgie Maguire’s very decent and rather unlikely husband. Owner of London art gallery and nurser of talent.

FLORA SEYMOUR

Guy’s and Georgie’s wild child.

MEREDITH WHALEN

A highly expensive gay interior designer, known as the Ideal Homo because he’s always being asked as a spare man for deserted wives at Paradise dinner parties.

ELMER WINTERTON

American Security billionaire. Chief executive of Safus Houses Inc. and a philandering Palm Beach polo patron.

MARTHA WINTERTON

His ravishing neglected second wife.