The Memorist

Chapter 47

Vienna, Austria

Tuesday, April 29^th-10:58 a.m.

Meer resurfaced-that’s what it felt like-coming up for air having been underwater for too long. It took another minute for her to connect to where she was and who she was with and remember what had been going on before the lurch began. Someone was talking. Her father. What had he just said? How long had she been lost in the daydream? A daydream? What an inappropriate word for the hallucination she’d just experienced. But there was no word for a nightmare that you experienced while you were wide awake, was there? Or the residue of real grief she felt for a man she didn’t know and would never meet.

Malachai’s eyes were on her. Understanding, offering comfort, and curious. It was too soon to tell him or her father the details of what had just happened or that she no longer believed she was having false memories. Not until she had some time to absorb the disturbance. Yes, that was a better word, disturbance. The forcing away of her present, the inexplicable replacement of people and places for a memory that felt like hers, even though she knew it couldn’t logically have any connection to her.

Meer concentrated on what her father was saying.

“Please, I want you all to go now. There’s a puzzle to piece together and you can work on it at my house and let them fuss over me in peace. You need to figure out what the key is for.”

“I can’t leave you here,” Meer said, unable to let go of the nagging feeling that he was hiding something about his condition. “What kind of tests do they want to run?”

“I’ll make a deal with you,” Jeremy said in his most reassuring voice. “I’ll tell you, but then you have to do what I ask.”

She half smiled, despite herself. He always negotiated. “Okay.”

“I am fine but I did have a very minor heart attack ten months ago. I take medication for it and it’s not serious but the doctor thought she detected a slight irregularity on the EKG today and wants to run some additional tests to make sure everything’s completely fine. At the most I’d need my meds adjusted.”

Scared, she searched his face. He smiled, took her hand. Was he really all right? She thought back to ten months ago…trying to remember if she had talked to him then, if she had missed any clues? “Are you really all right?” Her voice trembled a little.

He nodded.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“It was a very mild attack. It happened and then it was over. Nothing to tell.”

Looking over at Malachai she asked, “Did you know?”

“Yes.”

One look at Sebastian and she didn’t have to ask him. “You told a stranger and not your daughter?” Meer accused her father.

Getting up, Sebastian walked to the door, mumbling that he had to make a call. Meer was glad he was leaving but Jeremy stopped him. “You don’t have to go on our account.”

“I really do have a call to make. I’ll rejoin the argument in a few minutes.”

Jeremy smiled, Meer didn’t.

“This isn’t funny,” she said to him. “Why would you keep your health issues a secret from me?”

“I made a choice based on what I thought would be the best thing for my daughter.”

“I’m an adult.”

“That doesn’t change the fact it’s still my prerogative to choose what I burden you with. I don’t want you to take on my medical issues and worry about me the way you had to worry about your mother.”

“How could I not worry about my mother? She was dying. Are you dying?”

“No, of course not. That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

“What do you think will happen to me if I know the truth? Don’t you have any faith in me?”

“I’ve always had faith in you,” Jeremy said in a voice subdued by emotion. “From the very first time you ever gripped my finger in your little hand.”

“If you had any faith in me you wouldn’t try to control what I know and what I don’t.”