The Mystic Arts of Erasing All Signs of Death

SECRET SKELETONS

– So what now?

– I dont know for sure.

Po Sin stirred the ice cubes at the bottom of his glass.

– You gonna go back to teaching?

I thought about the classroom. The kids. How much fun they could be. How much of a pain. I thought about trying to walk back in there and be a normal teacher. Be a person without all these things clinging to him. Deaths like barnacles. They felt visible. And a burden. I didnt want to have them around kids.

And there were other things.

– I dont think I can really teach anymore.

– So?

– Sol.

– Round two.

Gabe came back from the bar with two bottles of beer and another gin and juice for Po Sin.

I took my beer.

– Thanks.

Gabe nodded.

We all drank.

– Po Sin.

– My name. Means Grandfather Elephant. Speak it and I will answer.

– Po Sin.

I drank again.

– Whatd you do with them?

Po Sin stared into his glass.

– Web, in all honesty, I have no idea what youre talking about.

I nodded.

– Sure, I get that. But. I called you. And I think, I think I need to know. Im trying, this is new for me, but Im trying to be kind of a grown-up. But, hey, not too many examples of that in my life, so Im flying a little blind. Anyway. Part of. I think I need to know what Im responsible for. What things I do that make other things happen.

I picked at my beer label.

– I think I really need to know what you did to them.

Po Sin looked at Gabe.

Gabe lifted his bottle, took a drink.

– It doesnt work like that, Web.

– I know. But.

– I said, It doesnt work like that, Web.

I looked at him.

He nodded.

– This is how it works. You ask someone for a favor.

He pointed at himself and Po Sin.

– And they come and do you a favor.

He moved his beer over the surface of the table, leaving a smear of moisture.

– They swing their weight behind you and give your actions gravity. They do things.

He wiped the smear away with the edge of his hand.

– You left the room. You could have stayed. You chose not to. Now you have to live with the consequences of leaving that room. The biggest of those is, you dont know what happened. After you leave the room, its no longer your business. You want to know what price is paid in this world, you need to be there when the deal goes down.

He trained his lenses on me.

– That shit, whatever it is we may think were taking about, it never even happened.

He got up.

– Im gonna go shoot a rack.

He walked to the pool table at the back of the Monday night empty bar and started dropping quarters in.

Po Sin rattled the ice in his glass.

– He has a way of summing shit up.

He sipped, swallowed, looked over his shoulder at Gabe, and leaned close.

– Shit needs to be done sometimes, Web. Im not saying its the way the world should be, not saying its the world I want my kids to be in, but this life were in, you dont end up doing this kind of work because everything went the way it was supposed to. Youre doing work like we do, its because some shit got fucked up. That means things behind you, you dont always want them coming to the light. Further you go into this kind of job, more people you meet, more of them you find just like you. Secrets. Skeletons. Coworkers. Competitors. Clients. Secrets start cropping up. Knowwhat I mean?

Did I know what he meant? Shit yes. I was hip deep in what he meant.

Which he already knew.

So he kept talking without me giving an answer.

– What no one wants is for the secrets to start coming out into the open. Guys like we were just talking about, they can make things come to light. Just by being around and getting involved in your life, they can cause all kinds of shit to unnecessarily become unhinged. So we did what we do.

He gulped the last of his drink.

– We cleaned shit up.

He set the empty glass in front of me.

– Like the man said, you wanted to know, all you had to do was stay in the room.

I looked at the glass.

– Thats the thing.

I looked at him.

– I dont want to leave the room. Po Sin, man, honestly, even if I did want to, Im not sure I could find the door. But. That doesnt even matter. Because.

I shook my head.

– I love this shit.

I raised a hand.

– I liked teaching. I did. But I love this shit. Its like, man, its like I found my calling. Its like if I took one of those employment placement tests we gave the kids in junior high. You should be a scientist, an insurance adjuster, a flight attendant. When I took that test, it said I should be a structural engineer. But this, this is like if that test said, You shall be a crime scene cleaner, Webster Fillmore Goodhue, and you shall like it well. It just fits. It fits me. This is what I want to do, man.

I lifted my beer.

– I want to clean up after dead people.

– Hey yo.

We looked at the bartender.

– You guys come over in that van?

Po Sin started to rise.

– It getting a ticket?

– No.

Po Sin started to sit.

– Good. That would have been a pisser.

The bartender pointed out the swinging saloon door.

– But looks like its on fire.

The Lost and Found is in a strip mall at the corner of National and South Barrington. That far west, that close to their place of business, it was probably a provocation. But that wasnt the kind of thing I could be expected to know. Po Sin and Gabe, I guess they just wanted to go to one of their favorite bars.

We came out the swinging door into a small parking lot illuminated by the flames pouring from the shattered windows of the van. Mortons crew was already piling back into a silver Pathfinder. Morton was on the sidewalk with an ax handle. Dingbang just behind him, jumping up and down, jabbing a finger at us as we came out.

– Bout that shit? Huh, motherfuckers? ‘Bout that shit?

Morton raised the ax handle and pointed it at Po Sin.

– Had it coming. We were under truce, you pulled that shit. Had this coming.

Gabe started across the lot.

Po Sin grabbed him.

– Cool it. Hes right.

He pulled Gabe back to his side.

– Deal with this later.

Dingbang bounced higher.

– Bout that? Fuck with the best, get fucked in the ass like the rest.

Po Sin raised his voice over the flames.

– Shut up, Dingbang.

– Bang! Bang!

Morton raised the ax handle over his head.

– You are done, Chinaman. You and your nigger. Gonna squeeze you right out of business.

Dingbang pumped a fist.

– Right out of business! -Motherfucker!

Po Sin started toward them.

– Youre a disgrace, Dingbang! -Bang!

– A wart. Your dad is a jailbird, but at least he has half a brain. At least he never let himself get used against his own family by some whiteass motherfucker.

He pointed at Morton.

– Fuck this midget. Im gonna kill you. Im gonna take the stain off my family. If I got dead ancestors watching, they are gonna be laughing their asses off tonight. Im gonna improve the gene pool, Dingbang.

– Bangbangbang! -Motherfuckermotherfuckermotherfucker!

He charged, Morton and Dingbang reeling back from him as his shadow fell over them.

Then he stopped, a monster in silhouette against the fire, and his hand came up and he grabbed his left shoulder.

– Oh. Motherfucker.

And he was falling.

Gabe got there first. Then me. Then Dingbang. The Pathfinder squealed away.

Dingbang kneeled and cried.

– Uncle. Uncleuncleuncle.

Sirens on National Boulevard.