The Never War

FIRST EARTH

How do you describe a nightmare?

A nightmare is an exercise of the mind. It digs up your deepest fears and throws them in your face with only one purpose-to terrify. You can’t control a nightmare. The ghastly images come at you like a raging storm. The best you can do is ride it out and hope it will end. And it does end. When you wake up, you know that as real as the frightening experience may have seemed, it existed only in your mind.

The next few minutes could best be described as a nightmare. The only difference being, it wasn’t happening in my mind.

We watched as the missile shot toward the dark shadow that was theHindenburg. For the few seconds it took to streak upward, it was like time stood still. I wanted to grab those few seconds and hold on to them, because once they were gone, the horror would begin.

The rocket hit the blimp in front of the tail section. Start the clock. In thirty-seven seconds it would be over.

Gunny said softly, “We should go.” His voice cracked. He was shaken as badly as I was. Winn Farrow had already released Spader. The four of us quickly backed away to get out from under harm’s way. We knew what was coming. It was going to be ugly. As we moved back, I kept my eyes on the airship.

The fire spread impossibly fast. First the burning material from the exploded rocket sprayed over a large section of the zeppelin. Then the coating of the balloon caught fire. The flames spread quickly over the skin of the airship, gobbling up the soft, silver covering. In seconds the skeletal frame of the ship was exposed. Then it began to fall, tail first. Once the tail sank, the flames spread up toward the nose, fueled by the burning hydrogen gas that was now being released.

I saw both of the swastikas on the tail crumble into the ground and burst into flames. It was a symbolic moment and the one small victory I took from this calamity.

People scattered, running for their lives. The ground crew dropped their lines and fled in terror. It was all they could do.

Then the passenger gondola under the burning zeppelin hit the ground. Instantly people inside smashed out the windows and jumped to safety. Amazingly, a few people walked down the access stairs and simply stepped off. They were the lucky ones. As soon as their feet hit the ground, they ran for their lives, as bits of burning material fell around them like fiery rain. These people would survive. But there were many people still trapped inside who wouldn’t be so lucky.

I had seen all this before, in the computer library on Third Earth. But now I was seeing it for real. Close-up. I felt the heat. I saw the shocked, terrorized faces. I heard the screams. But the most horrible feeling of all was that we could have stopped it from happening…and didn’t. I then saw something that was hard to believe. While all the people were fleeing from the disaster, there was one person who actually ran toward it. At first I thought it might be a brave rescue worker who was going to valiantly try to pull people from the dying ship. But as he got closer, I saw who it really was.

It was Max Rose. I had no idea how he got there. Maybe it was the police who picked him up from the scene of the crash, or maybe some of his gang found him on the side of the road. It didn’t matter. He was now running crazily toward the doomed gondola. We’ll never know what was going through his mind, but I can guess. He was going to try and save his money. As insane as that was, it was the only possible explanation. His mind must have snapped. Or maybe he knew his world was going to crumble anyway, so why not make one last ditch effort to save it?

Nobody tried to stop him. Everything was happening too fast, and there was only one thing on anyone’s mind: survival. Max Rose actually made it all the way to the gondola and climbed aboard. It was the last time he was ever seen. In a way, history had returned to normal. Max Rose was destined to die on May 6, 1937. The only difference was that it wouldn’t be in a car crash. It was in the burning wreckage of theHindenburg.

A second later the huge, flaming airship collapsed. The framework that was still in the shape of a zeppelin crumpled in on itself. A storm of sparks flew into the air, and the once majestic airship was reduced to nothing more than a giant heap of burning embers.

Thirty-seven seconds.

As I stood there feeling the heat from the massive fire, I saw something that actually gave me a chill. It was a bird. A large, black bird. It soared over the flames like a shadow, made a sharp turn, and shot over our heads. Then with one quick snap of its wings, it flew off into the night. Was it Saint Dane? Had he been there to witness his latest failure?

I didn’t think so. I thought he was there to mock me. The Travelers had won, yes. We had insured that history would play out the way it was supposed to. The Earth territories were safe. But did Saint Dane truly care? Or like he said, was this about me?

The truth came clear to me in that one, horrible moment. Everything that had happened, all of Saint Dane’s manipulations, were about putting me here, in this exact spot. When the critical moment arrived, I didn’t have the strength to stop the rocket. He knew I wouldn’t be able to do it. He knew. He wanted to see me fail.

The Travelers may have won the battle here on First Earth, but Saint Dane has won the war. He proved that I was no match for him.

Winn Farrow laughed. He actually laughed. The guy really was a psycho. To cause this kind of disaster just to get revenge on one person is nothing short of lunacy.

“Payback,” he said with glee. “Sweet.”

“You animal!” Spader shouted, and lunged at the guy. But Gunny caught him and held him back.

“Let it go,” Gunny said. “He’s none of our concern.”

“Yeah,” Farrow laughed. “None of your concern.” He looked at Gunny and gave him an oily smile. “Thanks, pal,” he said. “Couldn’t have done it without you.”

Gunny winced as though he had been hit. My heart went out to him. He did what he knew was right. He did what I couldn’t do. But this poor man who couldn’t bring himself to fire a gun had just allowed the destruction of theHindenburg. No matter how right it was, he was going to have to live with that for the rest of his life.

Farrow then turned and ran into the darkness. I didn’t care where.

Spader stepped right up to Gunny and looked him in the eye. His face was twisted with anguish. “You stopped him,” he cried. “Pendragon was going to save the ship and you stopped him. Those people are dead because of you! You let Saint Dane win.”

Gunny couldn’t speak. I thought I saw him shivering.

“He did the right thing,” I said.

Spader pulled away from Gunny and shot me an angry look. “Why? Because someone told you it would change history? I don’t believe it. How could you know that?”

I didn’t answer. Now wasn’t the time. Gunny said with a weak voice, “We’ve got to get out of here.”

“I’ve got a car,” I offered.

“No,” Gunny said. “Come with me.” He hurried off. Spader and I stood there a moment longer, looking at the flaming wreckage.

“Hobey, I hope you’re right,” he finally said, and followed Gunny.

The airfield was in chaos. Fire trucks raced toward the scene. People were running every which way, trying to help the survivors. Some of the victims were rushed into cars that screamed off, headed for the nearest hospital. Others were loaded into ambulances. There was so much frantic activity that nobody noticed three guys walking calmly away from the action, headed toward the runways.

The flames from theHindenburglit the airfield up like daytime. I wasn’t sure where Gunny was leading us and I didn’t care. I didn’t want to think anymore. Finally I looked ahead and saw a welcome sight. Sitting on the end of the runway, lit by the flames, was Jinx Olsen’s odd little seaplane. After all that happened, I’d forgotten about Jinx.

She came running from the direction of the crash. Her eyes were wild and scared. I’d have been surprised if they weren’t.

“Was this it?” she asked with a touch of desperation. “Was this why you had to come here? Were you trying to prevent this?”

We all shared looks. All but Spader. He stared at the ground. I didn’t know what to say. Thankfully, Gunny took charge.

“We heard some things,” he said. “We thought we could help.”

“But we were too late,” Jinx said. “It’s horrible.”

“Yes,” Gunny said. “It’s horrible.” He then walked up to Jinx and looked her right in the eye. He spoke to her in a calm, assured voice. “No one will ever know what happened here. You thought you could help, but there was nothing you could do. There was nothing anyone could do. Remember that.”

It was weird. Jinx stared up at Gunny with glassy eyes. All the tension seemed to leave her body. It was like Gunny was hypnotizing her. He was using his Traveler skills to put her mind to rest. I wished he could have done the same for me.

“Right,” she said slowly. “There was nothing I could do.”

“We should get back,” Gunny said to her.

“Yes,” Jinx said. “Let’s go back.”

The four of us got into the plane-Jinx and I in the front cockpit. Spader and Gunny in back. I doubt if anyone took notice of our small plane as we lifted off on the far side of the airfield. Every single person on the ground was focused on the burning zeppelin. As we rose up and away from the destruction, I realized we were leaving behind one of the great mysteries of all time. People would always wonder what really caused theHindenburgto catch fire and crash. Nobody would know of the role two rival gangster mobs from New York had in bringing the massive airship down, or of the part played by Travelers from different territories.

That was the way it was meant to be.

The flight back was uneventful. Thankfully the weather had cleared and it was a smooth trip. Nobody spoke. We were all alone with our thoughts. We landed on the Hudson and got the airplane back to the dock without a problem. The four of us then rode together in a cab back to the Manhattan Tower Hotel. I don’t think anyone said more than two words for the whole trip. When we were dropped on the sidewalk in front of the hotel, there was an awkward moment. Spader left us and went inside without saying a word. Gunny and I stood with Jinx. I had no idea how we would leave this with her.

Again, Gunny took charge. “You are a very special person,” he said to Jinx. “I’m proud to have known you.”

“I hope you get to fly again someday,” I added.

“Oh, I will,” she said with a wink. “Bet on it.”

We all exchanged hugs, then Jinx started inside. But she stopped and turned back to us with a concerned look. “This trip we just took,” she said. “Why do I have the feeling there was more to it than there seems?”

“There isn’t,” Gunny answered. “It was just a trip.”

That seemed to satisfy Jinx. She nodded and went inside. In all the accounts of what happened to theHindenburg, there was never any mention of Jinx Olsen having been at the airfield. I can only believe that whatever thoughts Gunny planted in her head, or took away, he made sure that Jinx never said a word to anyone about our flight. It was too bad. All Jinx ever wanted to do was fly and make a difference. She would never know that on that chilly night, she had done exactly that.

Gunny and I stood alone on the sidewalk. Nobody-else was around. As I stood there, I really didn’t know what to think. Was this an incredible victory over Saint Dane? It sure didn’t feel like it. I had to keep reminding myself that if we hadn’t been there, things would have been worse. Much worse. But that was something I knew in my head. My heart felt otherwise.

Reality for me was, I had failed. There’s no other way of putting it. When it was all on the line, I blew it. If it hadn’t been for Gunny, Saint Dane would have won. The Earth territories would have been doomed, and it would have been my fault. And that makes me question my worth as a Traveler. I couldn’t help but think of Uncle Press. He had faith in me. He told everyone to trust me. By failing with theHindenburg, I had let him down. What was I supposed to do from here?

“I’m sorry, Gunny,” I said softly.

“For what?”

“For putting this on your shoulders.”

Gunny looked up at his beloved hotel. The lights reflected in his brown eyes.

“Never in my lifetime did I ever imagine the things we’ve seen. But now that my eyes are opening up to what life is really about, I have to tell you, I honestly do believe what I said before. This is the way it is supposed to be. Our job is to make sure of it. You didn’t put anything on my shoulders, Bobby.”

“But I did the wrong thing.”

Gunny looked at me. I saw the kindness in his eyes. No, I feltthe kindness. “Maybe. Or maybe today was my day. Maybe the whole reason I’m part of this is to do what I did. You’ve got a long road ahead, Pendragon. I believe your day is still to come.”

We went inside and said good night. I was dog tired and all I wanted to do was fall into bed. When I got to the room, Spader was sitting on the couch, waiting for me. I didn’t want to have to deal with him. Not now. But Spader wanted to talk.

“I’m scared, mate,” he said. “Everything’s been turned inside out. How could Gunny let those people die?”

I didn’t say anything at first. I was angry and confused and a little bit scared myself. We had reached a turning point of our own, Spader and me. As great a team as we were, when it came to crunch time, Spader hadn’t trusted me. I still needed to convince him that we had done the right thing.

“Tomorrow,” I finally said. “Tomorrow I’ll show you everything.”

That was it. I left him and went to bed. The last thought I had before nodding off was that I hoped I wouldn’t have any dreams. Or nightmares.

The next day Spader and I took a trip. We went to the one and only place where he would get the answers he needed. We went to Third Earth.

The trip to the Bronx and the flight through the flume were nothing special to write about. It was amazing to think that something as wild as fluming to a different time and territory didn’t seem special anymore. But the truth was, I was getting used to it. We arrived at the gate on Third Earth and changed into the clothes of the territory without saying a word to each other. Hidden in the pile of clothing was the same communicator Gunny had used to contact Patrick, the Traveler. I hit the button, knowing Patrick would soon be there to pick us up.

I have to admit, I was nervous about what we would find on Third Earth. Had history played out the way it was supposed to? By allowing theHindenburgto be destroyed, had we kept the territories on track? Or did we change something else that might have allowed Max Rose’s gang to continue their spy operations?

The moment we stepped out of the gate, I had my answer. The subway was exactly as I remembered it. So was the massive underground mall. When we took the escalator up to the surface I saw the rolling, green hills of the Bronx. What a huge relief.

I’m sure you can imagine the wonder Spader felt as we walked through the territory. He looked every bit as stunned and impressed as I was when Gunny and I first came here. He started to ask me questions, but all I said was, “Ask Patrick.” I didn’t feel like being a tour guide. Not today.

It didn’t take long for Patrick to arrive at the green kiosk that led from the subway. He pulled his small car up to us and gave me an expectant look.

“It’s done,” I said.

Patrick exhaled with relief.

“Let’s celebrate!” he shouted.

Spader and I both got into the car without saying a word. Neither of us were in the mood to celebrate.

“Take us to the library,” I said flatly.

Patrick knew something was wrong. He didn’t press though. We drove the same route into Manhattan as last time. I asked Patrick to explain to Spader how the Earth territories had come this far. Patrick gave him pretty much the same story he had given me. This was good. I wanted Spader to know just how special a place Third Earth was.

At the library Patrick gave Spader a quick lesson on their computer system and its amazing capacity for information storage. He gave another quick demo, this time bringing up a holographic image of the Beatles singing a song called “She Loves You.” Not exactly my kind of music, but it was pretty cool to see four famous guys standing there singing.

As you might imagine, Spader was blown away. It was then time to see what we came for.

I asked Patrick to explain theHindenburgVariation. Patrick first showed Spader history the way it actually happened, with theHindenburgbeing destroyed. The only thing that had changed from the last time I saw this was that there was no information about Max Rose being killed in a car accident on Toms River Road. This time it showed that Max Rose had mysteriously disappeared on May 6, never to be seen again. Of course, we knew what had really happened. Max Rose died in the wreckage of theHindenburg. History would never know that.

Patrick then took Spader through the alternate scenario, step by step, showing him what would have happened if theHindenburghad arrived safely. He showed Spader Rose’s spy network, and the atomic bomb the German scientist Dani Schmidt would create to help the Nazis win the war. He also showed Spader frightening scenes of Third Earth the way it would have existed if theHindenburghad arrived safely.

This is a strange thing to admit, but seeing these horrifying images actually made me feel better, because I knew this was a future that would never be. I would never feel good about the fact that theHindenburgcrashed, but any doubts about Gunny having done the right thing were now gone. All we did was keep history on track.

This was the way it was meant to be.

Spader didn’t say much during the demonstration. It was a lot to understand. The two of us walked out of the library and sat down on the steps where Gunny and I had sat earlier. It was only yesterday. A lifetime ago.

“I’m sorry, mate,” Spader said. “I don’t know how else to say it. But look at it through my eyes. I hadn’t seen all that stuff back there. I didn’t know the same things you did. Hobey, if I had seen what was going to happen if we saved theHindenburg, I never would have done the things I did.”

“If we had stayed together,” I said. “Youwouldhave seen all that.”

Spader fell silent. I think he was beginning to realize just how badly he had screwed up.

“You’re my mate, Pendragon,” he answered. “Mates forgive each other.”

I didn’t say anything at first. In some ways, dealing with Saint Dane was easier than this. With Saint Dane there was good and there was bad. Not a lot of room in between. But this was different. Spader was my mate. He was a Traveler. We were on the same side. That’s what made saying what I had to say so tough.

“I want you to go home, Spader,” I said.

“What?” he shouted in surprise.

“Go back to Cloral, to Grallion,” I continued. “Get back to being an aquaneer.”

“But I’m a Traveler now,” he protested. “My place is with you.”

“Your place is to help the Travelers protect the territories,” I corrected. “Until we can trust each other, you can’t do that.” “But Idotrust you, Pendragon,” he said sincerely. I took a breath and said, “But I can’t trustyou.” Spader looked shocked. No big surprise, these were strong words.

“This isn’t about you,” I continued. “This isn’t about getting revenge on Saint Dane. It’s about saving the territories and protecting Halla. I don’t think you get that. Until you do, you’re better off at home.”

There it was. I had laid it flat out. Spader was a good guy. A great guy. But he didn’t get it. I didn’t pretend to have all the answers, but there were some things I knew for sure. One of them was that the Travelers had to support each other. It was the only chance we had against Saint Dane’s evil. Spader had shown that he didn’t have that faith. More than once. Together we could stand up to Saint Dane. Scattered, we were lost. Gunny’s selfless act at the critical moment was proof of that. I felt so strongly about it that I was willing to turn my back on a guy who had become my best friend. At least my best Traveler friend, anyway.

Spader looked down. I knew he hated hearing this. But I needed him to understand. He was a Traveler. Someday he would play a role again, and when that day came, I wanted him to be ready. His reaction to what I said would be critical to the future of the Travelers, our battle with Saint Dane, and his part in all of it.

“Let’s go back to the flume,” was all he said. Then he stood up and walked off.

Nothing was resolved.

As Patrick drove us back uptown to the subway in the Bronx, I could only hope that Spader was trying to understand. I didn’t push. I didn’t want to sound like some kind of parent. Spader had to work this through for himself.

Patrick dropped us off at the green kiosk, and after saying our good-byes, Spader and I made our way back down to the gate and the flume. Still, nothing was said. I worried that Spader would take off on his own without a word. I couldn’t let that happen. We had to settle this.

When we got inside the gate, Spader stepped up to the black mouth of the flume. If he had called out a territory, I would have pulled him away.

But he didn’t. He turned his back to the flume and faced me. We stood there for a second, then finally he said softly, “I’m with you, mate.”

“Are you?” I asked.

“I said it to you before,” he continued. “However this natty-do is going to play out, I believe it’s you who will bring us through. If you want me to go home, then it’s back to Cloral for me.”

I was relieved and saddened at the same time. This meant we were officially going our own ways.

“Spader, you’re like my brother,” I said.

“I feel the same about you, Pendragon,” he said with a small smile. “That’s why I’m listening to what you say. It’s true, I’ve been wanting to crush Saint Dane since my father died. I’ve tried to put it out of my head, but it’s always there. I’ve got to find some way to deal with that, and if it means going home and taking time to think things through, that’s what I’ll do.”

Spader then added, “I want you to promise me one thing though.”

“What’s that?”

“When you find yourself in a tum-tigger, and I know you will, come get me.”

That was what I wanted to hear. Spader was the Traveler from Cloral. His spirit and talent had gotten us through in times when I was ready to give up. However this war with Saint Dane was going to play out, Spader would have to take on a major role.

“Bet on it,” I said.

That was whathewanted to hear. The two of us hugged. I didn’t want to let him go. I didn’t want to be on my own again. Especially now, when I was doubting my own worthiness as a Traveler. For a brief second I thought it would be better to deal with Spader’s unpredictability than to let him go. But I had to be strong.

He held me at arm’s length and said, “I’ll be ready.”

I nodded. Spader then backed away and glanced into the tunnel.

“Safe trip,” I said.

Spader faced the infinite black hole and shouted, “Cloral!”

The craggy tunnel rumbled to life. The far-off light appeared from deep inside, growing closer. The familiar musical notes were on their way. The bright light quickly grew intense. Spader turned to me and smiled.

“Hobey-ho, Pendragon.”

“Hobey-ho, Spader.”

A second later he was gone.

I don’t think I ever felt so lonely. Well, maybe once before. When I stood on the empty lot where my house on Second Earth used to be.

My whole life I was used to having people guide me toward the right answers. First it was my parents. Teachers were there too. So were my friends like you, Mark and Courtney. Of course Uncle Press played a huge part. I didn’t always like being told what to do, but it was good to know somebody was always looking out for me.

Now I felt like I was on a highwire without a net. If I was going to get to the other side, the only one who would get me there was me. I had two choices. I could stand here and feel sorry for myself, or move forward.

I turned away from the now quiet flume and changed back into my First Earth clothes. Before doing anything else, I had to get back and let Gunny know what had happened.

“First Earth!” I shouted into the flume.

I then closed my eyes, looking forward to the few minutes of a flume ride when I wouldn’t have to worry about anything.

(CONTINUED)