The Passengers on the Hankyu Line

Nigawa Station

‘I’m telling you!’

Misa laughed as she explained the same thing over again, one more time.

They were talking about the woman in the white dress who had got off at Obayashi Station.

Misa wore a smile but inwardly she was rather irritated.

‘There’s something weird about being invited to a wedding and showing up in a white dress.’

‘What the hell? S’long as you’re invited, you’re a guest, and guests can wear what they like.’

Her boyfriend Katsuya’s counterargument wasn’t much of one and they were just going around in circles.

‘Fine, sure, the guests are part of the event on the wedding day, but there’s no question that the bride is the star of the show. The bride and groom are supposedly the hosts and the guests are there to celebrate them. Everybody knows that white is the bride’s colour so people with any common sense don’t wear white.’

‘Who says what’s common sense?’

‘Common sense is just stuff you know, it’s not like there’s anyone who decides it.’ Misa let out a sigh. ‘Come on, you wouldn’t show up to a wedding dressed like that, would you?’

Katsuya’s look that day was baggy, hip-hop streetwear.

‘What, now you’re complaining about the way I dress?’

‘No, that’s not what I meant! Just that there’s an appropriate time and place for everything.’

Ugh, why do my conversations with Katsuya always go like this? It’s not like what I’m saying is so out there or anything …

‘If you’re a girl, you have to be careful what you wear, even if it’s only a white shawl. You don’t want to upset the bride, of course, and nor do you want everyone else to think you’re clueless.’

Katsuya snickered through his nose. ‘Girls waste their time on so much bullshit. You’re a perfect example.’

They’d been dating for about a year so she was familiar with his cursing, but every so often he’d spew out some inexcusable criticism or abuse that went too far. And whenever this happened, it wasn’t in Misa’s nature to remain silent.

Though it was only afterward that she remembered how much aggro it created.

‘So you think you know more about weddings than I do? You mentioned you recently went to an older friend’s wedding, right? Are you sure you RSVP’ed properly?’

‘Course I did – all you do is just send that thing back.’

‘So how did you fix the return address on the front of the response card?’

Katsuya’s complexion changed – a quirk of his that happened when someone pointed out something he didn’t know.

‘Don’t tell me you just sent it back as is?’

Misa was still annoyed about Katsuya’s rude comment and so now her tone turned mean as she grilled him. Katsuya still didn’t respond, and his silence made it clear that was exactly what he had done.

‘It’s impolite to return the response card addressed to you with the honorific “sama” still intact, so you cross it out with two diagonal lines, to be humble, and write “from” before your own name. Then you cross out the “from” in front of the sender’s name and change their title to “sama” – that’s just good manners.’

Katsuya sulked in silence.

‘On the other side, you can’t just circle “will attend” and fill in your name and address. Again, you have to cross out the honorific and make sure you also cross out “will not attend”.’

She chose not to mention the additional courtesy of writing in ‘accepts with pleasure’ or some other nicety – that’d be far too much to expect of Katsuya. It had been her intention to stop there, but she couldn’t help herself. Part of it was payback for his nasty comment, part of it was just her being bossy.

‘… of course you also have to make sure you cross out the honorifics where you fill in your name and address—’

Katsuya interrupted her lecture by suddenly kicking the train door that he was leaning against. Misa flinched. Katsuya’s eyes were glassy. She looked around anxiously and, indeed, the sound had drawn stares from everyone in the car.

A young girl seated opposite was looking over with eyes wide. So was the woman beside her who appeared to be her grandmother.

Katsuya, no doubt aware of the other passengers’ attention, kicked the door again, harder this time.

‘You think you’re such hot shit because you know all that, huh?’

Fuck.

At least they weren’t someplace private, like at Katsuya’s apartment, where he lived alone …

Someplace where he’d hit her.

‘S-sorry. It’s not that I think I know everything, it’s just … it’s social etiquette so I thought it’d be good for you to know about it too—’

‘You makin’ fun of me?! You think you’re hot shit because you know all this etiquette crap, so you can lecture me?!’

He kicked the door a third time.

The little girl started to whimper. Not because she thought it was directed at her, but because the sound of the door being kicked so roughly and the abuse being hurled so brazenly in public were scary for a child.

Oh, I’m sorry, little girl. It’s this big girl’s fault.

Just as Misa was thinking this, Katsuya clicked his tongue and muttered, more quietly this time, ‘Shut up, you little brat!’

Wait a minute, jerk. You’re the one who made her cry.

But she didn’t dare say that to him – he was so worked up, he might actually slap her in front of everyone.

‘NEXT STOP, NIGAWA. NIGAWA.’

As the announcement came over the speaker, the girl and grandmother pair stood up.

Katsuya also turned to face the door that was about to open and Misa walked quickly after him.

‘Wait, we’re not getting off here! We were gonna go to the real estate broker in Nishi-Kita to look for a place.’

‘I don’t feel like it any more, because of you.’

Because of you. His emphasis on that phrase was spiteful.

‘I’d rather go bet on the horses, even if there isn’t a big race today. If you wanna look for an apartment, go by yourself.’

Nigawa serves the Hanshin Racecourse, and on in-season weekends, the station teems with horseracing spectators. So many throng to the racecourse on major race days that the pedestrian crossing can’t handle the flow of traffic, so they built an underpass that offers direct access from the ticket gate to the racecourse for people who arrive by train. In the opposite direction, there is a traditional shopping district that leads to a peaceful, quiet residential area. The difference from one side of the station to the other could not be starker.

Katsuya had no interest in horseracing. He only ever went along if his friends invited him, and even then only for the big races. For him to get off here, that could only be interpreted as Katsuya being hurtful to Misa.

As the grandmother–granddaughter pair stood waiting to get off, the older woman was trying to soothe the girl, who was still sniffling.

Katsuya made a point of mouthing the word ‘bitch’ at the woman. The implication being that this too was because of Misa.

‘Hey, I’m sorry, it’s my fault. I’ll stop. Will you change your mind and come to the broker with me?’

The train came to a halt and the doors opened. Misa tried to prevent Katsuya from getting off, but instead she got dragged along.

‘Eek!’

Misa came close to tripping over onto the platform but Katsuya didn’t even turn around, he just shook off her hand and hurried over to the ticket gate.

Any impulse to chase after him vanished, and Misa just watched him go.

Ugh, how did we get to this point?

They argued when they were out on a date, when they were at home in Katsuya’s apartment, and if she wasn’t careful, even after they’d just done it.

Just what was wrong? Why was it that the most insignificant comment would always escalate into a full-blown argument? Things would go beyond the point of no return, and if they were at his place he’d hit her, or if they were out he’d lose his temper and walk off. Misa had lost count of the times she’d had to make her own way home in tears.

And yet, when he had been in a good mood, he’d suggested they live together, rather than each living alone, since it would save them both money on rent.

I think you and I will get along just fine, he’d said.

Still, whenever his anger flared up he was relentless. No matter how much Misa pleaded and cried, no matter how much she apologized, it had no effect. Once an argument had begun, it wasn’t over until he decided it was.

She and Katsuya had been the first ones off the train, and the other passengers stepped off after them. By now Misa was used to the pitying stares.

The sound of someone blowing their nose echoed loudly. Misa reflexively turned to look – it was the same pair from before. The elderly lady was helping the little girl to clean herself up after crying.

‘I’m sorry for making your granddaughter cry.’ Misa couldn’t help but offer an apology.

With a practised hand, the old lady briskly disposed of the tissue and uttered flatly, ‘That good-for-nothing.’

It took a moment for Misa to realize that the woman’s offhand comment was in reference to Katsuya.

The shock of it was a rude awakening to Misa – the fact that she was dating a guy whom a total and complete stranger felt compelled to dismiss aloud as a good-for-nothing.

‘Have you thought about getting rid of him? For all he puts you through.’

The old lady spoke in a frank tone as she took the hand of her granddaughter, no longer crying, and descended the staircase towards the opposite exit.

Misa watched their retreating figures until they were no longer visible, then trudged along the platform to a nearby bench, where she took a seat.

Why am I dating such a jerk?

An insignificant comment escalated into a full-blown argument and, in his anger, he saw nothing wrong with yelling at her in public; if no one was around, he became violent, without any concern that he might actually injure her.

Their relationship had begun with him chatting her up. Katsuya was a good-looking guy, and Misa had been flattered when he had struck up a conversation with her. She agreed to go to a café with him.

As they talked, it turned out that they both attended universities along the same railway line, and what’s more, while they had both grown up in the Kansai region, the commute to campus from home was too arduous, so they were both living on their own.

Things progressed quickly from there. They exchanged mobile phone numbers that same day, and within a month, their relationship was already at the point where they were staying over at each other’s apartments.

If she were being honest, everything in their relationship had happened pretty quickly, but Katsuya had been much sweeter when they first started dating.

But when had things got this bad?

At some point Misa had taken on the chores at Katsuya’s, so she warmed to the idea of moving in together because she was fed up with doing the housework both at her place and his.

That’s right – it didn’t even take a year for him to make me into a perfectly devoted housewife.

It was because she took pleasure in making him happy. But it wasn’t long before he got used to it and eventually took it for granted that she’d keep doing it. Katsuya didn’t even bother tidying up after himself in his own apartment, and he’d let his laundry pile up – he’d blithely call her up to say, ‘Come over, I’m almost out of clean underwear.’

At first, when she’d told him that she wasn’t his housekeeper and that he should do it himself, he had mumbled and nodded in acquiescence, but it wasn’t long before that response from her would elicit a sour mood. The endless arguments had started up around that time too and, caught in a non-stop loop of fighting, Misa gave up and basically just went over to Katsuya’s every week to keep up with the chores.

Out of this exasperation came the search for an apartment.

But then, no matter how hard Misa tried, there would be incidents like what happened today. She hated to admit it to herself – that, despite how hard she tried, her boyfriend showed absolutely no consideration for her.

And on top of that …

I’m not even living with this guy yet and he doesn’t give a second thought to hitting me during a fight. If I move in with him, I’ll have no place to run to get away!

‘I wanna go home.’

Misa stood up from the bench and walked over to a boarding spot on the platform. It would be several minutes until the next train.

Previously, she would have called Katsuya repeatedly and when he didn’t answer, she would have left numerous apologetic messages. It would not have been unusual for her to stand by the ticket gate and wait for him to reappear.

But from this newfound place of detached composure, she was able to question the necessity of clinging to a guy like him. What was more …

My mother would be so sad if she knew that my boyfriend hits me.

This thought had never even crossed her mind before. And now, it made her feel like such an undutiful daughter. It wasn’t only her mother whom she had let down, but her entire family – and her friends too. Everyone would be so sad, if they knew.

It had not taken long for the no-nonsense advice proffered by the old lady as she went on her way to bring Misa to her senses. Even Misa found it odd how quickly she’d been able to relinquish her attachment to Katsuya.

It’d be a few hours before he returned from the racetrack. Misa had a key to his apartment, and that would give her plenty of time to collect her things. Last night had been one of the rare occasions when Katsuya stayed over at her apartment in Obayashi – it would be the last. She would send the few items of his that were at her place to him by delivery service.

Misa knew their breakup would be complicated, but she was prepared for any mudslinging. Luckily, because it was usually Katsuya who summoned her to his place, she hadn’t given him a key. If worst comes to worst, she would call a friend or even the police …

Now, I guess I should send him one last message.

She thought about it for a moment and then swiftly tapped out a text on her phone:

I’ve had enough of your shit. Goodbye.

She saved it as a draft – she would fire off that message once she was safely back home in her own apartment – and then she boarded the train that had slid into the platform.