The Quiet Mother

29

The pain seemed as if it would never end, and was almost unbearable. Valborg tried to keep as quiet as possible and pushed until she thought she would pass out. Sunnefa spoke soothingly to her and encouraged her; it was all going as well as could be and would soon be over, she would have to be strong and push a little harder, now the baby’s head is visible, it’s almost over, just a few more minutes.

It had been three hours since she started having contractions. Her waters had broken shortly beforehand, and then Sunnefa took over. They were well prepared for what needed to be done and she was determined and very professional, filling Valborg with a sense of security. She didn’t want anything to happen to the child. The disgust she felt about giving it up immediately was more than enough.

Late in her pregnancy, she’d gone east to Selfoss, where Sunnefa worked, to live with her. They’d talked about the risk involved in not having a doctor available if something went wrong. Sunnefa said she wouldn’t hesitate to call an ambulance in that case. On the other hand, there was nothing to indicate the delivery would be anything but normal and go smoothly. Valborg was healthy and the pregnancy had gone well. Her sister wasn’t in the country; she was working as an au pair in Copenhagen that summer and would continue to do so well into the autumn. Two years earlier, their mother had moved out east to Vík in Mýrdalur with a new partner and was only in intermittent telephone contact. Valborg had told her friends that she was going to Selfoss to work. She told no one what had happened to her, or her plans.

When it was all over, she was exhausted and fell asleep while Sunnefa attended to the child, washed it, and checked its vital signs. She rinsed out the sheets and towels and hung them on a clothes line in the bathroom. When Valborg stirred, she helped her clean up. Valborg didn’t ask about the child and avoided looking towards where it slept soundly.

Sunnefa bent over her.

‘I’m going to ask you one last time. Are you sure you want to take this route?’

Valborg looked into her eyes.

‘I’m sure,’ she whispered.

‘Don’t you want to see it?’

Valborg shook her head.

‘No, never.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘You promised that I would have nothing to do with it.’

‘OK. Do you want to know if it’s a boy or a girl?’

‘Don’t say a thing. Take it,’ ordered Valborg, shaking her head, more determined than ever. ‘Take it and do what you’re going to do and then leave me alone.’