The Ranch

Chapter 19

On Monday morning, when Tanya got back, Zoe was already up and making herself a cup of coffee. She was feeling fine again, not even as tired as she had been before she had come to Wyoming. And she looked up when she saw Tanya come in, and wagged her finger at her.

“And what have you been up to? Let me guess… a religious retreat!” It was a lie Zoe had once told for her, to cover for her with her parents, when she had gone away for the weekend with a boyfriend.

“How did you guess?” Tanya laughed, beaming from ear to ear, not just because of the fantasies she and Gordon had shared for the past thirty-six hours, but the feelings she'd discovered for him.

“Does this mean you're giving up Hollywood, and moving to Wyoming?”

“Not yet,” Tanya said, helping herself to a cup of coffee.

“Is this just a passing affair, or should I be hearing wedding bells?” After only a week it was more than a little premature, but the ranch seemed to have a remarkable effect on the people who met there.

“I think that's a little soon,” Tanya said sensibly, “and he's smarter than Bobby Joe. But then again, he's a lot older. He says he won't come to L.A., except to visit.”

“Good for him,” Zoe approved. “It would eat him up in about five minutes. I'm glad he's smart enough to know that. It's not that I don't think he's up to it. I just don't think he'd like it.”

“Neither does he. He got a taste of it the other night, and I think it turned him off forever.”

Zoe nodded seriously. “Mary Stuart told me. Tom called last night, he said the bus is okay again. He was able to replace or fix everything but the curtains.”

“Do you believe that?” Tanya asked in disgust, just as Mary Stuart joined them, looking sleepy.

“Believe what? Hi, Tan, how's your sex life?”

“Be sure not to beat around the bush, will you?” Tanya laughed. She loved the relationship they shared, and it was so wonderful being back together.

“So how is he?” Mary Stuart asked with interest.

“Will you stop!” Tanya hit her with a pillow, and Mary Stuart laughed mischievously. She wanted all the details.

“Look, I haven't slept with my husband in a year. Now I'm involved with a guy who doesn't think we should do it till I figure out if I'm getting divorced or not, what else is there for me to do except live vicariously through my friends?” She turned her glance then to Zoe. “That goes for you too. Any action with Sam when you get back, I want to know it.”

“Hopefully, by then, you'll be getting yours too.” Zoe gave it right back to her and they all laughed.

“God, we're all a mess, aren't we?” Mary Stuart shook her head as she assessed them, but the truth was, they knew they weren't. They had all had good lives, but hard ones, enormous advantages and tremendous pains, they had paid high prices for all the blessings they had had, and now was no different. Each one of them had to leap through a hoop of fire in some way, to get what they wanted.

“Actually, I think we're pretty great,” Tanya said, looking at her two best friends with pride. “And I love you both, just in case you want to hear it.”

“Ahhh… the postcoital haze of love for mankind…” Mary Stuart said, and Tanya hit her with the pillow again.

“You're disgusting,” Tanya said, still laughing, and then she looked at her friends again, wanting to share at least something with them. She could hardly stand it. “I'm in love with him,” she said, glancing from one to the other and they both laughed, but Zoe answered.

“No kidding,” she said. “We figured that out.”

“I don't mean, I'm just lusting for him, I mean I love him.” They were both quiet then, as they watched her, and Mary Stuart spoke to her gently.

“Your life is awfully complicated, Tan. Make sure he can make it better for you instead of worse. Make sure he can handle it before you leap off the cliff hand in hand.”

“I will,” Tanya said, but it was Gordon who was being truly careful. “He's scared to death of all that. He's smart that way.”

“I'm glad,” Mary Stuart said, and then told them the plan she'd made with Hartley. “I'm going to London.”

“Back to Bill?” Tanya looked startled, wondering what had happened in her absence.

“No, just to talk to him,” Mary Stuart explained. “I was going to wait until the end of the summer, but I don't want to. I guess I knew what I wanted to do when I left New York. There's really no point waiting.”

“Are you sure?” Tanya asked her quietly. They were all making such enormous decisions.

“Very much so.”

“Does he know you're coming?”

Mary Stuart shook her head in answer. “I thought I'd call him in a few days.”

“What if he tells you not to come?”

“I'm not giving him the option,” she said simply. “Those days are over.”

“Amen,” Zoe said, always the independent spirit among them.

“How's Sam?” Tanya asked as she went to get dressed.

“Still crazy,” Zoe said with a broad smile, and then she told them she was going into town that afternoon to see some of John Kroner's patients.

“I thought you were supposed to be on vacation,” Mary Stuart scolded.

“It's no big deal. I'd really like to do it.”

“When are you going in?” Tanya asked with interest.

“I thought I'd ride this morning, have lunch with all of you, and then go into town. Charlotte Collins said someone could give me a ride.”

“I'll take you on the bus, I want to go into town myself this afternoon to do some errands.” She asked Mary Stuart if she wanted to go into town too, but she said she wanted to stay with Hartley. And with that, they all went to get ready. It was almost like getting dressed for classes every morning, and they reached the stable looking bright and fresh-faced a little over an hour later, after breakfast. Gordon was disappointed to hear that Tanya had other plans that afternoon. She said she had to go into town with Zoe.

“Will you come back to the cabin tonight?” he asked, looking like a kid, as they rode ahead of the others.

“If you'll have me,” she said, and they exchanged a look that would have been worth millions to the tabloids.

“I love you,” he whispered, and she answered him, and then they loped across the field side by side in total harmony. It was as though in the past day and a half their souls had been welded together. She felt bonded to him, and he would have followed her to the ends of the earth, anywhere except LA., she teased him, as they headed back to the others.

“I told you, I'll come for a visit.”

“When?” she asked, pinning him down, knowing how busy she'd be for the next month. But he explained that he couldn't leave the ranch now for more than one day a week till the end of August.

“When can you come back here?” he asked, more to the point, but she didn't have much spare time either. She ran through her commitments in her head, and figured out that she had a free week at the beginning of August.

“I could be back in three weeks,” she said, and he nodded as Hartley joined them. The doctors from Chicago had left that weekend, as had Benjamin and his parents.

“That seems like forever,” Gordon whispered to her before Hartley could hear them. But it did to her too. But there was nothing she could do for the moment. She had free time again in September, and he could come back to L.A. with her. It was going to be interesting. Commuting to Moose, Wyoming.

“It's beautiful today, isn't it?” Hartley said, looking up at a Wedgwood sky as Gordon and Tanya grinned at each other and nodded.

They had a good ride till noon, and then went in to lunch, but Gordon didn't join them. His horse had thrown a shoe, and he had paperwork to take care of. New guests had come in the day before, and although he didn't have to ride with them, since he was already assigned to Tanya's group, he still had to make sure that the other wranglers were doing their jobs and there were no problems with the horses. In the end, it was just as well that Tanya was busy that afternoon, since two women from New York fell off their horses during a loping lesson in the corral, and he had to take a mare to the vet that had sprained her ankle.

Tanya dropped Zoe off at the hospital that afternoon, and John Kroner was waiting for her, and then she went off to do her errand. She had made an appointment that morning. And it worked out perfectly. Everything was taken care of in time for her to get some shopping done too. She bought a pair of turquoise cowboy boots, and picked Zoe up in plenty of time to get back to the ranch for dinner. They were waiting for her outside when Tom pulled up in the bus, and John Kroner waved when they left. Zoe looked tired, but pleased, as she lay down on the couch across from Tanya.

“How was it?” Tanya asked with a warm smile.

“Interesting. He has some very nice patients,” Zoe said, and they had been so grateful to meet her. It was almost embarrassing, and the staff had made a huge fuss over her. But she had really gotten to like John Kroner. She had invited him to join them for dinner one night with his friend. He was a radiologist and had moved to Jackson Hole the previous year from Denver. They were nice young guys, and had both been extremely kind to Zoe. “I really like him.”

“Is this competition for Sam?” Tanya raised an eyebrow at her, “or is he too young for us?” she teased her old friend, and Zoe laughed at her assumption.

“Neither, you dolt, he's gay, or hadn't you noticed?”

“Actually,” Tanya looked at her thoughtfully, “I hadn't. Oh, well. You've got Sam. What more do you want?” She was in great spirits, and Zoe laughed at her as they rode back to the ranch.

“You're hopeless. What did you do today?”

“Just some errands and stuff.” The shops were great and they had all bought suedes and leathers and cowboy hats on their previous excursions. “I got some great turquoise cowboy boots.”

“I'm sure they'll look great at Spago. You've been here too long. I did that once in Aspen. Knee-high pink cowboy boots that I somehow convinced myself would look great at the hospital. I still have them, brand-new, never worn, in the back of my closet.” The two of them chatted and laughed all the way back to the ranch, and when they arrived, Hartley and Mary Stuart were having a quiet conversation in the cabin. They never seemed to run out of things to talk about, and it was obvious when the other two came in, that the couple had been kissing. It was like interrupting teenagers making out on the couch, and Mary Stuart blushed at a raised eyebrow from Tanya.

“Stop that!” she said under her breath to Tanya as she went to get Hartley a Coca-Cola.

“What did I do?” Tanya said, feigning innocence, but they were all like kids again, and it felt terrific. It was a much-needed counterpoint to the far too serious traumas of their lives, from suicide to divorce to AIDS to tabloids. And a little teasing and fun and romance between them was not only harmless but therapeutic.

“What are we doing tonight?” Zoe asked as she sat down, tired after an afternoon of seeing patients, but exhilarated by her conversation with John Kroner. “Tango lessons? Snake dance? Anything exciting going on?” The ranch provided a fair amount of entertainment, although Tanya and her friends didn't always join in, mostly so Tanya could keep her distance.

“I think it's just regular dinner,” Mary Stuart explained, and then glanced at Tanya. It was her turn to raise an eyebrow. “Will you be joining us tonight, Ms. Thomas?”

“Of course,” Tanya said innocently. “Why wouldn't I?”

“Would you like me to answer that?” Mary Stuart grinned wickedly and Tanya looked prim.

“No, thank you.” She was leaving them after dinner to join Gordon, but they didn't know that.

They had a pleasant dinner, the four of them, and Zoe went to bed early after her busy afternoon. Hartley and Mary Stuart decided to go into town for a movie, and by eight o'clock, Tanya was walking down the road to the corral in her old yellow cowboy boots, and her blue jeans and a big white sweater. She thought she could smell smoke in the air, and wondered if someone was having a cookout.

She had thought to put a cowboy hat on so no one would see her face quite so easily, and when she got to his door, she knocked once and slipped inside. She didn't want to hang around outside the cabin. And he was sitting on the couch, watching TV, and waiting for her.

“What took you so long?” he asked expectantly, looking like a kid waiting for Santa Claus, and she laughed softly as she locked the door behind her. He had already drawn the shades and pulled the curtains to keep their secret.

“What took me so long? Dinner was at seven, and it's five after eight. I thought that was pretty good. I almost ran here.”

“Next time eat faster,” he said with a broad boyish grin as he stood up to kiss her, and a moment later she was locked in his arms, and they both had their clothes off. They never even made it to the bedroom, but lay on the couch, making love, in front of the TV, oblivious to what the announcer was saying, and it was only afterward, as they lay there for a while, talking quietly, that he realized they were saying there was a fire on Shadow Mountain, and he sat up to listen.

“Is that close by?” she asked, noticing the worry on his face.

“Right above us.” He was listening intently to what they were saying, and suddenly she remembered smelling smoke in the air when she'd been walking down to the cabin to see Gordon.

The announcer said that the fire was confined to a small area, but the winds had just picked up, and the parks department people were worried. He made reference to a fire in Yellowstone several years before, and showed old footage of utter devastation. And then they went back to the normal program.

“They may call us out tonight,” he said quietly, looking at her. He was concerned for the ranch, and thinking about the horses.

“Would you rather I didn't stay here tonight?” she asked. She would have understood if he said she should go back to her own cabin.

“I don't see why not,” he smiled. “No one has to know you're here. They're not going to evacuate the ranch unless it turns into a real big one.” He went outside for a minute to look up at the sky. He could see some smoke, but there was no glow from the fire, and he wasn't worried. And when he came back inside, he was more interested in Tanya than Shadow Mountain.

He played some of his favorite music for her, and played with an old guitar, and she sang softly for him, so no one would hear them. She loved it when they sang together, and he laughed, as he touched her face with a gentle hand.

“It's just like singing to records.” They sang together again, and they shared a sandwich around midnight. He had gone to buy some groceries that afternoon after his ride with Mary Stuart and Hartley, and he told Tanya how much he liked them. “They've got something going, don't they?” he smiled. He had spotted it from the first morning. “Is she divorced?”

“She will be. She's leaving her husband. I think she's going to London next week to tell him.”

“Is he English?” She shook her head, he was interested in her friends and her life, and the things she cared about. He was interested in everything about her.

“He's working there for the summer,” Tanya explained.

“Why's she leaving him?” They were sitting at his kitchen table, when he asked her.

And Tanya sighed as she thought about it. “Her son killed himself last year. I don't know all the details, but I think her husband blames her for it. She didn't do anything to provoke him to it, I just think Bill doesn't know who else to blame. Their marriage pretty much fell apart after it happened.”

“Maybe it wasn't all that solid before that.”

“Maybe,” she said softly, but she didn't agree with him. “I think it was. I just think it was too much of a blow for them. And now she's too hurt by what her husband's done. I think it's pretty well finished.”

“You think she and Mr. Bowman will wind up together?”

“I hope so,” Tanya smiled, with a gentle hand on Gordon's arm. “What about us? You think we will?”

“We'd better,” he said, leaning closer to her, and looking into her eyes. “If you try to get away from me now, I'm going to come riding down Hollywood Boulevard on one of those saddle broncs, and come and get you.” The image was wonderful and she laughed at him.

“I thought you were giving them up.”

“Not till I come and get you.” They were both laughing, and she stood in his kitchen naked, with her long legs, wearing his shirt open as she washed his dishes. It was a photograph he would have loved to have, but he knew he'd remember it forever. She was so down-to-earth he couldn't get over it. She was just what she claimed, a plain old girl from Texas, but she sure as hell didn't look it, and no one else in the world would have believed it for a minute. “You blow me away,” he said, standing behind her, as he put his arms around her waist, and leaned his chin on her shoulder. “Next week, I'm going to think I was hallucinating all this time.” It made her sad to think about a time when she wouldn't be there.

“Will you call me?”

“I'll try,” he said, and she put the dishes down and turned around and they were belly to belly.

“What do you mean, you'll ‘try’? Will you call me or won't you?” She looked worried.

“I'll call you. I just don't like phones all that much. But I'll call.” He didn't have a phone in his cabin, and he didn't want to use the ranch phone, and give them a record of it. Most of the time they just paid for their calls at the end of the month. He'd have to go to the 7-Eleven. And it worried her even more that she couldn't call him. It wasn't a great situation. “You'll just have to come back quick, that's all.”

“I promise. Three weeks, if I can. I've got to move some things around.” She had already called Jean, and asked her to do it, and now she had more reason to than ever. “And you better come to L.A. after the summer,” she warned in a sexy undertone, but he was grinding against her, and distracting her from what they were saying.

“I will, I swear. I'll tell Charlotte I need time off at the end of August.” She had already started to figure out gaps in her schedule when she could come to Wyoming. She could fly straight into Jackson Hole if she changed planes in Salt Lake City or Denver. It was certainly an interesting prospect, and she loved it.

They went to bed shortly after that, and were lying in each other's arms, having just made love again, when they heard a pounding on the door, and Tanya jumped about a foot. Gordon grabbed his jeans and ran to the door as he climbed into them. He pulled open the door as soon as he had them on and saw one of the ranch hands.

“The park service just called. We have to evacuate.”

“Now?” Gordon looked stunned, but when he looked up at the sky, he could see that over Shadow Mountain it was bright orange. “Why didn't they warn us?”

“They put us on standby around midnight, but Charlotte thought they'd have it in control by now. The wind just changed,” he explained. There was a brisk breeze, and he saw lights coming on in all the other houses. “Charlotte's rounding up the guests. We have to get the horses and run them down the valley.” There was another ranch nearby, and they'd done it before, but it was dangerous to move that many animals with so much speed. Either the people or the horses could get injured.

“I'll be out in five minutes,” he told the boy, and went back inside to talk to Tanya, He locked his door again, so no one could burst in, and he told her as quickly as he could what had happened. “They'll move you to another ranch,” he explained. “If you call your driver, he can come out and get you. I've got to get the horses. We've got two hundred head to get out as fast as we can,” he said, moving quickly, and then he stopped for an instant and kissed her. “I love you, Texas girl, don't worry about us, we're going to make this thing work, even if I have to go to Hollywood to do it.” He knew she was worried, and he was concerned too, but he was determined to do it. But now he had to turn his mind to other things. “Get dressed,” he told her before he left. “Just stay off the road, go alongside it in the tail grass and no one will see you. They're too busy to worry about you right now. Go back to your cabin. I'll see you later.”

“Can we do anything to help?” She felt stupid just getting on her bus and moving to another ranch, when there were people and animals in danger.

“That's my job,” he smiled, jamming his hat on his head, and grabbing an old denim jacket. “See ya,” he said, and was gone with a last look over his shoulder. She felt like the little woman as she stood there. And she quickly put on her clothes and did as he told her. And as he drove his truck down the road, he smiled when he saw a rustle in the tall grass moving toward the cabins. He knew exactly what it was, and he mentally put his arms around her and kissed her.

But as soon as he got to the corral, his work was cut out for him. They had to get all the horses out of their stalls, into the main corral, and they were going to herd them across the valley. The trick was seeing that none of them got hurt or lost, or stampeded. He rounded up ten good men and four women to do it. They needed all the help they could get, and they had already called ahead to the next ranch. They were emptying their pens and making room for them. And if the fire traveled that far, they would all be in terrible trouble. But for the moment, the winds had shifted in the opposite direction.

Gordon was shouting directions at all of them, and riding an old paint mare that he knew would be good for the job, just as Tanya walked into the cabin.

“My God, where were you?” Mary Stuart was looking unnerved, and Zoe was putting her clothes on. They had just been called, and they knew exactly where Tanya was, but they didn't know how to find her. “They called to say we have to evacuate, and I didn't want to tell them you were in the wranglers’ cabins,” Mary Stuart said, still looking nervous.

“Thanks for that,” Tanya smiled, and dialed Tom. She asked him to come to the ranch, and told him what had happened. She was going to offer the bus to transport as many people as they wanted. There were nearly a hundred guests at the ranch at the moment.

“Do you think the ranch will burn down?” Mary Stuart asked anxiously, just as Zoe walked into the room in a heavy sweater and jeans, carrying her doctor's bag. It was chilly, and there was a stiff wind out.

“No, I don't think the ranch will burn down. Gordon says this happens from time to time, and they always control it. What are you doing?” she asked, as she turned to Zoe.

“I'm going to offer them a hand. They've got firefighters going up there.”

“Are they asking for volunteers?” Tanya looked surprised. Gordon hadn't given her the impression that the guests would be helping, and at that exact moment Hartley arrived, and said they were wanted in the main building as fast as they could get there. Everyone looked slightly tousled and very concerned, in an assortment of rough clothes and peculiar outfits, as they hurried up the hill to the main hall. Mary Stuart chatted with Hartley, and seemed calmer when she got there. She was holding his hand, and he was carrying a briefcase, he'd been working on a manuscript off and on since he got there. The other guests were carrying an odd assortment of things they didn't want to lose, from briefcases, to fishing equipment, to handbags.

Charlotte Collins was waiting for all of them, and she explained calmly and succinctly that she was sure there was no real danger to the ranch, but it seemed wisest to move the guests to another location, should the winds change. They didn't want to be caught in a situation that presented any danger to anyone, or where they had to move too quickly. They were all being taken to a neighboring ranch, and they would be made as comfortable as possible in the spare rooms they had, and their living rooms would be made available for their exclusive use for the duration. There weren't enough rooms for everyone of course, but they were hoping that people would be good sports about it, and they were sure that they could come back in a matter of hours. Charlotte hoped that, in the spirit of the ranch, they would look upon it as an adventure. She was very bright and very cool, and very cheerful.

Sandwiches were being made, she said, and thermoses of coffee being prepared, and she indicated that transportation would not be a problem. She said their biggest concern was getting the horses out, and that was being handled at this very moment. Tanya thought of Gordon as she said it.

She said that everyone would be moved out in the next half hour, and they would, of course, keep them posted. And with that, the meeting ended, and there was a huge hubbub of voices as people milled around, discussing what was happening with each other and Charlotte. Tanya made her way to her and let her know that her bus would be available at any moment. And they were welcome to use it for transporting people to other locations.

Charlotte said she was very kind, and they'd be grateful to use it. She explained too that there were busloads of volunteers going up to fight the fire on Shadow Mountain, at which point Zoe stepped in, and asked if she could go up with them. She had a medical kit with her, and Charlotte knew she was a physician. She hesitated for an instant, knowing she wasn't well, and then agreed to let her do it. They always needed medical assistance, and she knew Zoe was well enough to provide it. Whatever her long-term medical problems were, and John Kroner had hinted to her that they were severe, she was certainly fine at this point.

“We'd appreciate that, Dr. Phillips,” she said as two other guests came forward, also carrying their bags. Zoe didn't know them, one was a gynecologist from the South, and the other was a heart surgeon from St. Louis, but they were certainly all capable of doing what was needed. “I've got a truck going up in a few minutes,” Charlotte told the three physicians, and the three of them conferred, and showed each other their supplies. None of them was well prepared for burns, but Charlotte said she had a kit just for that purpose, and someone brought it to them. It was enormous and very helpful.

People started getting in vans provided for them then, and twenty minutes later, Tanya's bus arrived, and Charlotte started funneling people into it. They had almost everyone loaded up in half an hour. Hartley and Mary Stuart had been among the first to get on, and Tanya had stayed behind to talk to Charlotte. “Could I go up the mountain with you, Mrs. Collins?” she asked her quietly, and the older woman reminded her to call her Charlotte. “I'd like to help if I can. I know you've got volunteers up there. Maybe I could lend a hand, or assist Zoe.” Charlotte Collins hesitated for only an instant, and then nodded. They needed all the help they could get, but she didn't want the other guests to know that. It was frightening enough just to see the night sky blazing above them. It was bright red now.

Tanya ran to tell Mary Stuart. She shouted onto the bus that she was staying. Mary Stuart seemed to hesitate and then nodded. Hartley was right beside her. And a moment later, Tom took off with the other vans, and Charlotte directed the handful that had stayed into trucks. There were half a dozen men, the three doctors, and Tanya, and they headed up the mountain in Jeeps, trucks, and vans, along with dozens of wranglers and ranch hands. They were a small, efficient army. And all the while, Tanya kept wondering how Gordon had fared with the horses.

They traveled up the mountain for nearly half an hour and then they reached the barricades where they had to leave the trucks. They were directed to go the rest of the way on foot, and join the others on the line. They were passing buckets of water, while planes overhead were dropping chemicals on it. The fire was blazing hot, and there was a constant roaring sound, like a huge waterfall, and they had to shout to be heard above it. Tanya took her sweater off, and tied it around her waist, she was wearing one of Gordon's T-shirts, and she had never been so hot in her life. She could feel her face getting blistered, and sparks were flying around them. It was terrifying as they fought the blaze, and they weren't even in the front lines. She couldn't even imagine what it must be like for the others. She was sorry she didn't have gloves as she burned her hands, and she could feel the ground hot beneath her boots, as trees fell and the wind raged on, and small animals rushed past them, heading down the mountain, but there had already been endless carnage. And she saw Zoe from time to time. They had formed a medical station with some doctors and nurses from town. People were starting to arrive in droves to help and it seemed like hours later when she saw Gordon. He walked right past her, and then he turned around with a look of amazement, and he came back for a minute to see her. He wondered if anyone knew who she was, and he doubted it. She was just standing there, working like all the others. She took a break for a minute then, she'd been working for hours, and her arms were so sore she could hardly lift them.

“What are you doing here?” He looked tired and filthy dirty, but the run to the other ranch had gone well. All the horses were safe there, and he had come up to fight the fire with the others.

“Zoe and I volunteered. I figured they could use some help.”

“You sure look for enough ways to get into trouble, don't you?” He shook his head at her, he didn't like the idea of her fighting the fire. If the wind changed, some of them could get trapped. It was easy to get killed fighting a fire like this one. “I'm going to the front, be sure you stay back here, I'll come back and look for you later.” She wanted to tell him not to go, but she knew it was his job, he had to defend the ranch from the fire with the others.

The planes continued to drop chemicals on the fire all night, and at noon they were all still there. Most of them were ready to drop they were so tired. And mattresses were brought up and laid on the backs of trucks, so people could sleep and form shifts. There were as many as ten people sleeping in the back of each truck. They were so tired they would have lain down anywhere and passed out. It was early in the afternoon when Tanya finally saw Zoe. She hadn't seen Gordon since that morning.

“Are you all right?” Tanya asked with a look of concern, but Zoe looked surprisingly well and very calm.

“I'm fine,” she smiled. “We've done pretty well, nothing but small casualties so far. They say that if the wind doesn't change, they'll have it out by nightfall. I saw Gordon a while ago. He said to say hi if I saw you.”

“Is he okay?” Tanya looked worried, and Zoe smiled as she nodded.

“He's fine, scorched his arm a little bit, nothing much. I think he's sleeping in the trucks right now.” The two women stood together drinking coffee for a little while, and then went back to their stations. It was something of an adventure for them, and they both liked the fact that they were useful. And they were planning to tease Mary Stuart for not coming. They both knew she hated being anywhere near road accidents, and fires, and anything frightening or out of control or potentially dangerous. Tanya was actually glad she had evacuated with Hartley, there was no real reason to be here. It was just nice to be able to lend a hand, and Tanya was happy to be there near Gordon, even if she never saw him. And this way, she could keep an eye on Zoe.

They were there till four o'clock that afternoon when the forestry service told them that the fire was officially in control. They thought they'd have it out completely before nightfall. A cheer went up all around, and half an hour later a band of filthy but happy people went back down the mountain. They went in trucks and vans and cars, they went on foot, and they talked and joked, and shared stories of what had gone on at the top, or off to the side, or on the trucks, or in the air. Everyone had a story. Tanya was walking when Zoe and the other doctors rode by. They looked tired but as though they were having a good time, and Tanya saw John Kroner among them. She waved at them and they drove on, and she walked slowly down the hills toward the valley. She was tired, but she didn't mind the walk, as she looked across the valley at the mountains. They were always there, her friends. She knew she would always love them.

“Need a ride?” a voice behind her said, and she turned to see who it was. It was Gordon, with a black face and a hard hat, driving his truck. His eyes had been covered with goggles, and she could see where he had burned his arm. It was covered with a bandage.

“Hi there, you okay?” she asked, and he nodded. He was exhausted. They were offering food in the dining room, and he didn't even think he'd have the strength to eat it. She hopped in with him, and instinctively she leaned over and he kissed her, and then they both looked shocked at what they'd done. It seemed so natural to them now, and they reminded each other that, particularly in this crowd, they had to be careful. “I'm sorry, Gordon, I wasn't thinking.”

“Neither was I,” he said with a broad smile. All he wanted was to go back to bed with her, and sleep for about twelve hours, and wake up next to her in the morning.

“What do you do about the horses now?” she asked, taking a swig of water from his thermos. It smelled of smoke, but she was desperately thirsty.

“We'll bring them back tonight. I'll come get you when I'm done,” he looked at her with a smile, “if that's all right with you.”

“Sounds good to me.” She lay her head back against the seat, looked out the window, and started singing. It was just an old Texas song, one of her favorite ones. He knew it too, and he started singing with her, and the people they passed smiled. As she sang, they began to realize who she was, and they were amazed to realize that she had come with them. It impressed a lot of them, and it had made a big impression on Charlotte Collins. Tanya had worked like a dog all night. She had been on the mountain for seventeen hours with all the others, and worked harder than most whenever Charlotte saw her. And Zoe had done the same. She'd actually had a great time with the other doctors.

When they got back to the ranch, before they brought the guests back, the dining room was opened to all the workers, and a huge meal was served of fried eggs, omelettes, sausages, bacon, steaks, fried tomatoes, there were cakes and ice cream, and fried potatoes.

“The only thing they don't have is grits,” Tanya complained with a grin as she took a seat next to Gordon.

“Damn right, they don't know how to eat here,” he laughed with her. They chatted easily and Zoe came and sat next to them, along with John Kroner and his lover. They talked about the fire for an hour, and then slowly everyone went back to where they came from. But Gordon still had to round up his crew to go and get the horses.

“You're going to be dead tonight,” Tanya whispered to him as they walked out of the dining room, “are you sure you want me to come by?”

“What do you think?” His eyes, as he looked at her, told the whole story.

“I think you're one tough hombre, Mr. Bronco Man,” she said, and nearly kissed him.

“Watch that, or I'll be out on the highway with my thumb out, looking for a job on another ranch.”

“I doubt that.” She had seen that night how hard he worked and what a great job he did. Charlotte Collins would have been crazy to can him. “But I'll be careful, I promise.” They were just too comfortable, it was as though they were meant to be together.

“Maybe you should hang on to this one,” Zoe said of Gordon with a smile, just as the bus returned, and they spotted Mary Stuart.

The bus and the vans came back at seven o'clock, and there was an informal buffet dinner waiting for everyone, in the same hall where she and Zoe had eaten with the volunteers, and they really weren't hungry.

But they sat with Hartley and Mary Stuart anyway, talking about their adventures. They hadn't even had time to get back to the cabin yet. Zoe had been putting away supplies after the fire, and Tanya stuck around to help her after Gordon left to get the horses. But a noticeable camaraderie had sprung up among all those who'd fought the fire, and Zoe commented on how perfect for each other Gordon and Tanya seemed to her whenever she saw them together.

By the time they got back to the cabin that night, the fire on the mountain was completely out. It was on the news, and word spread all over the ranch quickly. Tanya got in the shower, and then soaked in the Jacuzzi for an hour, and as she got out of the tub and wrapped herself in a large towel, she heard a tapping on her window. She pulled back the curtain and saw a filthy black face there, with his goggle marks, and she wanted to reach out and put her arms around him. Mary Stuart and Zoe were already in bed. None of them slept the night before, and both of them said they were exhausted. Tanya was tired too, but she was waiting for Gordon, and it had taken hours to soak the smell of smoke out of her skin and her hair. She was all pink and clean now and smelled of perfume. He was beckoning her to come with him. He was too tired to wait, he was dead on his feet, but she signaled to him to hold on for a second, and she ran to the door of her cabin. She had had an idea as she lay in the Jacuzzi.

She turned the light out outside and in the living room, so no one would see them there, and she stood talking to him from the doorway.

“Come on,” he said urgently, he was anxious to get going.

“I want you to come inside. No one's going to know. The others are asleep, and after last night, if anyone sees anything, you can tell them you were talking to me about the fire.” It had been an unusual day and night and he hesitated only for a minute, and then slipped into the living room and closed the door behind him. All the curtains were closed, and she beckoned him straight into her bedroom.

“What's up?” he asked nervously. “I don't think we should spend the night here.”

“I want you to have a Jacuzzi,” she insisted. “You're exhausted. Come on. If you want to go after that, I'll go with you.” He knew he'd never want to go anywhere ever again once he took his clothes off, but he didn't argue with her. He didn't have the strength. They'd had a hell of a time getting the horses back, and he was beyond exhausted.

She turned on the tub for him, and helped him peel his clothes off. He was like a little kid only too happy for the assistance, and a moment later he got into the huge sunken tub, and she turned on the jets, and he lay there with his eyes closed, feeling as though he had died and gone to Heaven. He opened his eyes once as he started to drift off to sleep and looked at her. “Tanny, I can't believe this.” She didn't tell him that her life at home was even more luxurious. That wasn't the point between them. She just let him soak in the tub, and she washed his hair for him, while he lay there luxuriating. It was the best gift she could have given him, and she was glad she had insisted he come in with her.

He lay in the tub for nearly an hour, and then he glanced up at her. He hadn't been to sleep yet, but he looked a hell of a lot better. “Want to come in?” he asked, and she laughed. She was still wrapped in a towel from her own bath, and she couldn't believe that he could even think of such things, as tired as they both were. But the moment she got in the tub with him, it was obvious that he had other things on his mind than sleeping.

“I can't believe you. I thought you were dying an hour ago.”

“I've been resurrected. Select parts of me anyway.” She laughed at him, he was certainly in good form, and they made love in her Jacuzzi. It was midnight when they got out again, and they'd been in the water for so long that she said she felt like a little shriveled-up raisin. “You shore don't look like one,” he drawled, caressing her bottom, and then she turned and looked at him,

“Do you want to go back to your place or stay here?”

He thought about it for a moment, and knew he was a fool, but he just couldn't resist it. Just this once, he decided to take a chance. “I may regret this, especially if you don't kick me out around five-thirty. That's real important.”

“I will,” she promised him.

“Then let's stay here… I don't think I'll make it to my cabin.” Even more than that, he didn't really want to. They slipped into her enormous bed, and he thought he'd never felt anything as comfortable. The sheets were clean, her flesh was smooth, she smelled of perfume and soap, even her hair was clean. He had never felt better in his life, and he was asleep even before she could turn the light out.

He held her close to him all night, and she woke him up gently, as promised, at five-twenty. She had set her alarm clock.

“I hate to do this to you, baby,” she whispered into his neck, and he rolled over and put an arm around her. Even in his sleep he was affectionate with her, and she loved it. “You've got to get up.”

“No, I don't,” he said in the dark, with his eyes closed. “I died and went to Heaven.”

“Me too… come on, get up, sleepyhead…” He opened his eyes finally, and with a groan he got out of bed, and slowly put his clothes on. They were still filthy from the fire, and he was clean, but he only had to wear them as far as his cabin, and then he would shower again, and dress for work. But he hated to leave her.

“Thank you,” he said, as he stood looking at her, “that was the nicest gift anyone could give me,” he meant the Jacuzzi as much as her loving, and she smiled at him.

“I thought that would do you good.” And as they stood there, she remembered it was Wednesday. “You're not riding in the rodeo tonight, are you?” she asked, and he hesitated and then shook his head.

“I think I'd either fall asleep or fall off before I got out of the pen. I think I'll pass tonight.”

“Me too,” she said, after the fiasco on Saturday night, she hadn't planned on going either.

“Why don't we spend a quiet night listening to music? Do you mind coming to the cabin again?”

“No, sir.” She smiled and kissed him, and told him she would see him later. And then he slipped out on silent feet and was gone before anyone could see him. And when she saw him at the corral at nine o'clock, he looked clean and organized and official in a white shirt, a cowboy hat, and a pair of jeans. The horses were all sorted out and saddled, everyone looked rested again. Other than a faint smell of smoke in the air, you would never have known that anything had happened. But it was all anyone could talk about all day. The fire on Shadow Mountain.

It was a peaceful day for all of them, and that afternoon, after lunch, Mary Stuart called Bill in London. He was working in his room, and he sounded a little surprised to hear from her. She usually sent him faxes now and rarely called him. But he seldom called her either.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, startled to hear her voice. It was ten o'clock at night in London.

“No, I'm fine,” she said matter-of-factly, and asked him how work was, he said it was fine, and then there was an awkward silence. She told him about the forest fire then, and that Zoe and Tanya had volunteered, but she had been evacuated to another ranch. She didn't say that she had gone with Hartley. And then she totally stunned her husband. “I thought I'd come to London next week,” she said quietly.

“I told you,” he said, sounding irritated. “I'm busy.”

“I'm well aware of that. But I think we need to talk. Otherwise I'm not going to see you till September.” Apparently that didn't bother him. But it bothered her a lot. That was part of the problem.

“I might be back at the end of August.”

“I'm not going to wait another six weeks to see you,” she said simply.

“I miss you too,” he said, still annoyed, “but I'm working day and night. I told you that. Otherwise, I'd have had you come with me.”

“Would you rather I just send you a fax?” she snapped at him. It was ridiculous, he wouldn't even take the time for her to tell him it was over.

“Don't be disagreeable. I don't have time to see you.”

“That's the entire point of my visit. You don't have time to speak to me either, or make love to me, or be my husband. I don't actually think it has as much to do with time, Bill, as interest.”

“What exactly are you saying?” he said with a little chill running up his spine. He was suddenly beginning to understand what she was saying, the faxes, the silences, the fact that she didn't call. He was getting it. But very, very slowly. “Why are you coming over here?” he asked her bluntly. He had always hated surprises.

“To see you. I won't take a lot of your time, I won't even stay in the same hotel if you don't want me to. I just think that after twenty-one years, we ought to say a word or two to each other before we throw the whole mess in the trash can.”

“Is that how you feel about us?” He sounded both appalled and startled, but she couldn't deny it.

“Yes, it is, and I'm sure you feel that way too. I just think we ought to talk about it.”

“I don't feel that way at all,” he said, sounding crushed. “How could you say that?”

“The fact that you can even ask me that is the saddest thing I can think of.”

“We've both been through a great deal… And I have this very important case in London… you know that…”

“I know, Bill.” She sounded tired listening to him. He was so totally without insight that she wondered if it was even worth her while going over to see him. Just talking to him depressed her. “We'll talk next week.”

“Are we talking or signing papers?” he said, sounding angry.

“That's up to you.” But it wasn't. It was up to her. And she knew it. He'd probably go on like that forever, married to a woman he never touched, looked at, or spoke to. As far as she was concerned it was not too appealing. And having just spent ten days talking to Hartley constantly, the idea of going back to a silent, loveless marriage made her suicidal. She just wasn't going to do it. It was over.

“It sounds as if you've already made up your mind,” Bill said unhappily, and she almost said that was the case, but if she had there would have been no point going to London. And somehow she felt that she had to give him a chance to defend himself, to at least explain why he had treated her so badly for the last year, before she told him. But it was a bit of a kangaroo court, and she knew it. “Are you flying from New York?” he asked, as though that made a difference, but of course it didn't.

“I'm coming from L.A., as soon as I leave Tanya.”

“Is this her idea?” he asked, as though she couldn't have thought of it herself. “Or your other friend, the doctor?”

“Her name is Zoe. And no, it's not their idea. Bill, it's mine. I thought all this out before I left New York, and I see no point waiting two more months to tell you.”

“Tell me what?” He was really pressing her. He heard what she was saying and the way she sounded, and he was beginning to sound panicked. It was pathetic. Instead of panicking now, he should have noticed the situation six months earlier, or even two. That might have made a difference. Now it wouldn't.

“I'm telling you I'm miserable with you, or hadn't you noticed? And you're just as miserable with me. And don't be dishonest about it.”

“It's been a hard time, but I'm sure it'll be fine,” he said, denying all the agony of the last year, the bitterness, the silence, the hatred.

“Why would it be fine? What is possibly going to change it?” She had asked him to see a therapist months before and he had refused. He was not dealing with it, and he was hiding. How could it possibly get any better? But he sounded as though he was fighting for his life now.

“I don't know what's going on here.” He sounded completely confused, and totally unprepared for her accusations, as though he had never expected her to notice, as though he could just park her somewhere and beat on her occasionally, and come back one day if he felt better. Well, it was too late. And suddenly he knew it. “I don't understand why you're coming over.” He was still trying to deny it.

“We'll talk about it next week,” she said, unwilling to pursue it any further.

“Maybe I can come to New York for a weekend,” he said, as though having her come to London was too threatening. But she wasn't going to wait a moment longer than she had to.

“You don't need to do that. You're busy. I won't take up too much time. I promise. I'm going to try and meet up with Alyssa.”

“Does she know you're coming?” Did everyone? He sounded utterly panicked.

“Not yet,” Mary Stuart said coolly. She had loved him for too long, given too much to him, and waited too long for it to get better. And now she had nothing left to give him. She wasn't even sorry. “I'll try and track her down before I come.”

“Maybe we can all spend a weekend together,” he said, sounding hopeful.

“I don't want to do that. That's not why I'm coming. I'll come to London to see you for a day or two, and then I'll fly to wherever she is.” She was not going to let him hide behind their daughter, or have him play little family at her expense. This was between her and her husband and no one else, and she didn't want Alyssa with them.

“You can stay longer if you want. As long as you're coming over…” His voice trailed off but he was beginning to sense that it was pointless. He was not a complete fool, and he had never heard her so heartless or so angry. It never even occurred to him that there might be someone else. She didn't sound that way, and she was not that kind of woman. He felt certain that she had always been faithful to him, and he was right. But he had never, ever heard her so angry. It was more than anger, it was disdain. He knew now that it had gone too far. And he knew exactly what he was going to hear when she came to London. He respected her for coming to tell him herself and not writing to him, but that didn't make it any better.

He was crushed when they hung up. She could have saved herself the trip. He knew precisely what she was going to tell him. All he could think of to do was send her a fax. And when she got it an hour later, she looked at it and threw it in the garbage. It fell on the floor instead, and Zoe picked it up that afternoon and shook her head when she read it. The poor guy really didn't have a clue. He was hopeless.

“Looking forward to seeing you next week. Warm regards to you and your friends, Bill.” For a drowning man who was fighting for his life, he might as well have been clinging to a toothpick. And it seemed obvious to Zoe, or anyone who knew Mary Stuart, that he was not going to make it.