The Reluctant Queen

A Cookshop in the Chepe

I could not keep the news to myself. As soon as I saw Isabel I burst out: "I am going to marry Richard! He has asked me and we have the king's consent."

She embraced me with affection.

"I always knew it." she said.

"You were meant for each other. You are both quiet and serious ... different from George, and me. Is it not strange that we should be sisters and they brothers ... and so different? Richard was always fond of you and you of him. You could never hide your feelings. Two sisters marrying two brothers. What could be closer than that? We shall be having a wedding soon."

"He was only waiting for my consent and now that I have said I will marry him there should be no delay."

Later that day a messenger came with the news that if I would make myself ready a guard would come to escort me to the Tower where I might see the prisoner, Margaret of Anjou.

Isabel was amazed.

I said: "I told Richard that I was unhappy about the queen and should like to see her, so he has arranged this for me."

"To prove he will do anything for you!"

My spirits were high. I said blithely: "It would seem that that is so.

"He must have asked the king himself. No one else would have dared give permission for you to visit such an enemy."

"She is a poor, tired, lonely, unhappy woman."

"She is a lioness, momentarily caged. Such a woman would be capable of anything. I am indeed surprised that this visit is allowed. As I said, it clearly shows what Richard will do for you."

She kissed me. It was wonderful to see her pleasure in my happiness.

I shall never forget my meeting with Margaret.

She was there in her dark cell a strongly guarded prisoner, a proud woman in defeat; but somehow she managed to create an aura of majesty.

They told me I was to have a visitor," she said.

"I did not expect it to be you."

She was pleased to see me and I was so glad that I had come. She knew it would not have been easy to get permission.

"I have thought of you so much," I said.

"You, too, have been in my thoughts. Are they treating you well?"

"I am with my sister."

"And your mother?"

"She must remain in sanctuary at Beaulieu."

"So it is only you who has been forgiven."

"It would seem so. I am to marry the Duke of Gloucester."

"The little duke! Ha! My boy was tall and handsome. What we have missed, you and II"

I said: "I have known the Duke of Gloucester since my childhood. We have always been friends. I am very happy because I am to many him."

She did not answer. She was staring ahead of her and I wondered whether my coming had reminded her of her son. But I immediately told myself that he would always be in her thoughts.

"I hope they are treating you well. I said.

They let me know I am their prisoner."

"You would like to return to France?"

She nodded.

"My father will be anxious for me. The King of France is my friend. They may do something ... but does it matter now?"

"Indeed it matters. When you are free from this place you will be yourself again."

"I have lost my son. I have lost everything that meant anything to me. They have murdered my husband."

They say he died of melancholy."

Her laugh was bitter, without mirth.

"What will they say I died of? Frustration? Humiliation?"

"You are not dead, my lady. Spirits such as yours do not die easily."

"Why should I want to live? Tell me that.""Who can say what the future holds?"

"I have lost everything. I sit here and wonder, could I have changed anything? Could I have acted differently?"

"Wars are terrible. They destroy people and countries. We should all be better without them."

"What is right must be fought for. The tragedy is when evil prevails."

I looked at her sadly. I could see that her downfall had been because she had never been able to see another point of view than her own and she had an innate belief that she must be right. Poor Margaret!

"And you, child." she said.

"You were thrust into this melee to serve your father's ends. I know your heart is with York ... because of this boy ... this little duke. And now, strangely enough, you are to get your heart's desire. You are young and I am old. But I was your age once. Do you know I was fifteen exactly a month before I married Henry? I came to England. I was beautiful, full of health and good spirits. They cheered me in the streets of London then. The daisy was my emblem. It was displayed everywhere. Henry was so proud of me and I was pleased with him. Oh, how alarming it is for a young girl to be presented to a husband she has never seen! Even the fact that her husband is the king of a great country does not subdue the fear. Henry was so kind, so gentle. I thought I was going to be the luckiest girl in the world."

"I understand," I said.

"The Cardinal Beaufort ... he was my friend ... and then there was the Duke of Suffolk who brought me over and who won my confidence from the beginning. I felt I had the kindest of husbands and friends already in my new country. Where did it go wrong?"

I might have hazarded a guess. It went wrong because Henry was weak and had inherited insanity from his grandfather Charles the Mad; it went wrong because she herself attempted to dominate those about her, because she was arrogant, inexperienced and a foreigner: and because the rival House of York was reaching for the throne.

"The people did not like me." she went on.

"They hate people to be in command if they are not of their blood. They said Henry could not beget a child and that I was too friendly with Suffolk.

They implied that Suffolk was the father of my child. The cruel lies! They would say anything to discredit me. I hated them."

There was too much hatred." I said.

"Life is cruel. When I was with child I was so happy ... so certain that everything would be all right. They did not hate Henry as they hated me. He was so benign, so gentle, so patient, but, of course, he loved learning more than power. He wanted to be a scholar. How happy he would have been in a monastery ... or a church -although many men of the Church seem to be as ambitious as all others. But Henry was doomed from birth. And then, when we might have had a chance ... the madness overtook him. Do you know he was not aware that he had a son? For months after the birth he was unaware of it."

I said: "I know of this. You have told me. Put it out of your mind. Do not speak of it. Do not brood on it if it makes you unhappy."

"It is engraved on my mind. I could not forget it. I cannot believe that I shall never see my son again. I brought him up to be strong ..."

I shuddered, thinking of his asking that men should be beheaded, and sitting beside his mother, watching the executions. Poor child! Poor Margaret! She had made him what he was and what that was I was not sure. I only knew that I had glimpsed cruelty in him and the thought of being married to him had terrified me. I could only rejoice at my escape, though my escape meant her torment.

"I shall never forget Hexham." she said, for it was no use my trying to stop her thoughts going to the past, and with me beside her she must speak of those terrifying events in her life.

"That was a bitter defeat for us. The enemy were in command of the field. Henry had escaped. He never had a taste for battle and was always eager to get away from it as soon as he could. I was there with my son ... a little lad then. I knew they would kill him if they caught him. He was only a child, but he represented a threat to them. He was heir to the throne and while he lived there would always be a rival to York. He was more important to them than Henry. Henry would never be a true ruler, but if Henry died the rightful king would be my boy. They would take the first opportunity of killing him. What could we do? We were without men, even without horses. I took the boy's hand and fled with him into the forest."

"Where were you going?""I did not know. All I wanted was to put a distance between us and the Yorkist army. So into the forest we went. I told myself we would meet someone who would be loyal to us ... who would help us. But we had not gone far when we ran into a gang of thieves. They surrounded us. I shall never forget how their eyes glinted when they saw the jewels on our clothes. They proceeded to rob us. We had stepped from one danger to another."

I reached out and took her hand.

"Please do not speak of it. It distresses you."

She smiled sadly.

"It is over. I have suffered far worse than that encounter. I would rather be in that forest surrounded by robbers than here in this doleful prison. We had good fortune there, for while the robbers were quarrelling among themselves over our jewels, I saw the opportunity to escape. I took Edward's hand and we plunged into the forest. The trees were thick and close together and we were soon out of their view."

"You will escape from this place," I said.

"I know it. Your spirit is too strong to be suppressed. Was it not always so?"

"But now I am old I have no one to care for."

"You have your home ... your father. You love him. You would rejoice to see him again."

She nodded.

"Yes ... yes, that is true. And in the forest there was some good luck. We had not gone far when we came face to face with another robber. He was different from the others a tall man of rather noble countenance and somewhat courtly manners. He was an outlaw. I presented my son to him. I said, "This is the son of your king. Save him." I had taken a chance, and it was strange, for a change came over his countenance. He was touched, perhaps by my pleading, perhaps by Edward's beauty and dignity. He said, "Follow me," and he took us to a hut which he inhabited with his wife. They fed us and led us to safety."

"Who was he?"

"A Lancastrian gentleman who had lost his home and fortune in the wars and taken to the life of an outlaw in the forest."

"It is an inspiring story." I said.

"I am glad you told me. Does it not put new hope into you?"

"You comfort me," she said.

"Tell me. Why did they let you come to see a dangerous prisoner such as I?"

"Perhaps they do not think you are dangerous."

"As long as I live they will regard me as such."

"I think the Duke of Gloucester pleaded with his brother the king, because he knew how much I wanted to see you."

"I shall remember that," she said.

"It will help me through the days of darkness."

"Then I am doubly glad I came."

Still gripping my hand, she said: "Life is strange. Here are you, the daughter of the man whom for so long I regarded as my greatest enemy, and out of your compassion you are the only one who comes to cheer me."

"You were friendly with my father at one time."

"That was not friendship. For him it was vengeance on the man he had set up and who had defied him. He used me for that purpose. As for myself, I knew this. I merely wanted to use his revenge for my purpose. That is not friendship."

"How I wish it had never been."

"The tragedy is that that is the wish of most of us at some time in our lives."

"I must go," I said.

"My visit was to be only brief."

"I shall never forget that you came."

She took me into her arms.

"The pity of it," she said.

"You and I have known true friendship. In spite of ourselves, love sprang between us."

"I shall pray for you. I told her.

"And I for you. All happiness to you, my child ... who should have been my daughter."

"I always loved Richard of Gloucester." I said. She smiled at me sadly and the guard came to take me away.

When I returned to Warwick Court, Isabel was waiting for me. She listened, not very attentively, to my account of my visit to the Tower and then suddenly burst out: "George is displeased!"

I looked at her in astonishment.

"Why?" I asked.

"It is really about you and Richard. He does not think it is right."

"I do not understand."

"He says you are too young and inexperienced for marriage."

"What does he mean? Most people of my age would be married by now. I should have been married already if Edward had lived."

"George is against it, Anne."

"It is not his affair." "It is, because the king made him your guardian. I believe you cannot marry without his consent."

"This is nonsense. Richard had actually talked of our marriage with the king who has given his consent."

"George insists that the king has made him your guardian and your betrothal therefore is his responsibility."

"It is all a misunderstanding, I am sure."

"George is truly angry."

"If George is displeased by the match I am sorry, but that is not going to stop Richard and me doing what we want to."

"I think it could, Anne."

"I never heard anything like this."

"George says that Richard only wants to marry you because you are an heiress."

"I am sure Richard thought of no such thing."

"Don't be simple, Anne. Of course he thought of it. You know our father was the richest man in England. Our mother has a great deal, too. You and I have a large inheritance."

"I thought our father's estates would be confiscated, for according to the king, he died a traitor."

"I do not know about that. Many of his estates were brought to him by our mother and George says that because I am his wife they now belong to him and me."

"Shouldn't they belong to our mother?"

"We are not sure whether she is judged a traitor or not. She is really under restraint and cannot leave Beaulieu, so she is in a way a prisoner. I had not thought of these things, but George knows, of course."

"Is that why George married you?"

She flushed hotly.

"George and I were in love when we were at Middleham."

"So were Richard and I"

"Well, George is against it. He is going to the king to protest."

"Richard will also go the king, I am sure."

Then it will depend on which one wins with the king."

"It will be Richard, of course."

"Why?"

"Need you ask? Not so long ago, George was fighting with our father against the king. He wanted the throne for himself, and he married you because you were our father's daughter ... a great heiress. All that time Richard was faithful to his brother, the king. So I am sure that he will choose to be on Richard's side in a conflict like this."

"I do not believe that. He gave his word to George that he was to be your guardian."

The guardian of my fortune, do you mean?" I thought Isabel was going to strike me. She turned and walked deliberately away.

Later George made a point of seeing me. He was suave and his anger had evidently calmed a little: I just saw a gleam in his eyes which betrayed it.

"My dear Anne," he said.

"I wanted a word with you. I believe Isabel has spoken to you?"

"She told me that you do not approve of my proposed marriage."

The king has appointed me as your guardian, and your happiness is a matter of concern to me."

"It would not seem so my lord, for my happiness lies with Richard."

He smiled at me with a show of patient indulgence.

"My dear little Anne, you are young. You know nothing of the world. Why, but a short time ago you were betrothed to Henry's son."

"I was considered to be old enough by my father."

"A marriage of expediency that would have been."

"It would seem that many marriages are, and if one can make one for love, how fortunate that is!"

"Romantic dreams are very pleasant, but they are often out of touch with reality. Do you think your marriage to my brother would be one of love on his side?"

"I know it. You forget, Richard and I know each other well. We were together at Middleham."

"Do you know what Richard wants?"

"He wants to marry me, for he has told me this."

"He wants to marry your fortune, child."

"As you did Isabel's? No. Richard does not want that."

"You speak foolishly. I married Isabel because I loved her as she did me."

Then, as you were not greatly concerned about her fortune, you will understand our feelings ... Richard's and mine.""I was never concerned about such matters, but I cannot say the same for my brother."

"You are indifferent then to money ... to power? You lack his ambition?"

He knew it was a reference to his traitorous act when he had believed he had a chance of gaining the crown.

"I am as ambitious as most men, but I know what is more important." He was lying, and he was aware that I knew it. I guessed that soon his anger would break out.

"I should tell you," I said firmly, "that I intend to marry Richard."

"Remember that I am your guardian and I am determined that you shall not be forced into marriage with the first fortune hunter who comes along."

"You speak of Richard thus?"

"Richard wants your fortune, and therefore he can be so termed. But I shall protect you from him ... and from yourself. It is my duty."

I said: "I believe Richard will not submit to your wishes."

"I repeat: he seeks marriage with you because of your fortune. The Earl of Warwick's estates are large. He wants a share. It is as simple as that. He would marry you and then make sport with his mistress. Did you know he had a son not very long ago?" He was watching me closely, expecting to see the horror on my face.

I said coolly: "I did know of this. Richard told me."

"And you said, "Very well, fair sir, I am content. Marry me and enjoy your mistress to your heart's content!" Is the title of the Duchess of Gloucester worth such humiliation, Anne?"

"I believe you yourself, my lord, were not entirely chaste before your marriage. Most young men are not. Marriage is sacred according to Holy Church. When we are married Richard and I will be faithful to each other."

"When he.had his hands on your fortune, you would see."

I understood perfectly. Isabel and I were joint heiresses. If I married we should have to share. He did not want that. He wanted me to remain unmarried. Then the whole would be Isabel's ... which meant his.

He sat there smiling, watching me. But it was an evil smile.

I was trembling a little, and I was afraid he would notice.

I stood up as firmly as I could.

"I will leave you now," I said.

"And I assure you that both Richard and I intend to marry each other."

He gave me a look of assumed sadness and said: "I am your guardian. I must do all I can to protect you." I turned and left him.

Ankarette talked to me when I was retiring for the night.

The Duke of Gloucester came to Warwick Court today." I said.

"But the guards would not permit him to enter."

"What?" I cried.

"How could that be?"

Ankarette paused, the gown which she was about to hang up still in her hands.

"There is a quarrel between him and the Duke of Clarence. The guards were uneasy. I should think so! They will have offended the Duke of Gloucester mightily. To call on his brother and be refused admittance!"

"What... is this quarrel?"

She lifted her shoulders.

"They say the king is involved ... and he does not know which one to favour. The king loves his brothers well and when they are fighting together over some matters he wants to please them both."

I did not say any more. Clearly Ankarette did not know the cause of their quarrel, but I did.

I was afraid. I woke in the night, trembling. I had been haunted by vague nightmares. Clarence was in those hideous fantasies ... smiling ... but the smiles were a mask. I knew that evil lurked behind them. And I was in his power. He was my brother-in-law. It was he who had command over me, Richard was trying to rescue me. There was conflict between the two brothers, and the king stood between them. He could save me, but where his family was concerned he was weak. He wanted to please both his brothers. He wanted to give me to Richard and at the same time please Clarence by preventing the marriage. It was not surprising that I was afraid.

I had always been wary of Clarence. I had never understood Isabel's infatuation with him. I always thought that in the first place she had wanted a husband and an ideal choice seemed the powerful brother of the king who would have been in line for the throne if Edward did not have a son; he had been a very acceptable part; and it had gone on from there. Indeed I believehe cared for her. I should have thought him incapable of real affection, but there are many facets to people's characters and I suppose a man could love one sister and be ready to destroy the happiness of the other.

I lay shivering in my bed. He was determined not to share my father's fortune. To what lengths would he go to keep it to himself?

I thought I had escaped from all my troubles. I had contemplated a happy life with Richard but I could see that I should have to fight my way to it.

But Richard was close by. He would help me. He had tried to see me and had been held off by his brother's guards He would not allow that to pass. He would come again, possibly with his own guards.

Meanwhile I tried to fight off these alarming thoughts and, as the night closed in on me, I lay listening for footsteps outside my chamber. I did not know what action he would take but I was fearful.

People died of strange maladies which were never explained. King Henry had died of melancholy, they said. There could be many causes, I supposed, for sudden and convenient deaths.

When daylight came, my spirits revived a little.

Richard was not far off, I kept telling myself. He would save me.

It was during the morning. I could not bear to be within those walls and went into the courtyard and sat on a wooden seat there. I did not want to talk to Isabel. I could find no comfort from her. She would support her husband; she would say I was young and inexperienced, that George was my guardian and he had my good at heart.

I gazed at the cobbles, thinking of Richard's coming to Warwick Court and being barred by the guards. I could imagine his anger. He would not let it rest there. He would come again. I knew it.

A serving maid slipped unobtrusively into the courtyard. I had not seen her before. There were so many serving maids at Warwick Court that I could not be familiar with them all.

She came and stood before me, looking cautiously about her, and said in a low voice: "My lady, I must speak to you. I have a message from ... the Duke of Gloucester."

My heart began to beat very fast.

"Give it to me." I said.

"I have to speak to you, my lady. I dare not here. People may be watching. Could I perhaps ... come to your chamber?"

"Yes ... yes. Come now."

"My lady ... if you will go to your chamber, I will come to you when I can. I will bring you something ... I can say you sent for it ... if I am asked."

"I will go to my chamber now."

"Please, my lady ... sit awhile ... then go. I will join you as soon as I am able. It is important to take care." She bobbed a curtsey and walked away.

I forced myself to sit for a few more moments, then I walked round the courtyard and after that went up to my chamber. I did not have to wait long, which was fortunate, for my impatience was unendurable. She came in almost furtively.

"My lady," she said.

"I have this message from the Duke of Gloucester."

"How did it come to you?"

"I have a friend who is in the duke's service at Crosby's Place." I nodded. I knew Richard was often at Crosby's Place when he was in London.

"Yes, yes." I said.

"Give me the message."

"It is not written. I have to tell you."

"Then do so ... please ... quickly."

"The duke has tried to see you and been refused admittance."

"I know this to be."

There is a quarrel between the brothers and the king wishes to please them both. The duke, my lady, wants you to go to him."

"Where?"

"That is what I have to tell you. If you will be ready to leave after the household has retired for the night a carriage will be waiting to take you into sanctuary. There the duke will be waiting for you. I will conduct you to the carriage when you are ready. The duke is very anxious to get you out of Warwick Court. There must not be battle between the two brothers. If there were the king could come down on any side. The Duke of Clarence now has you in his possession. The Duke of Gloucester would have you in his."

"I shall be ready." I said.

"Oh ... er ... my lady, if aught should go wrong ... I beg of you not to mention my part in this."

"I promise. I would not."

"It would be the end of Jack and of me ... if my lord of Clarence ..."

"I understand. I would never betray you for helping me."

"There will be feasting in the great hall tonight, as the duke is here. As soon as you can retire to your room, do so, and be ready. I will come to your door. Come out at once and follow me. I will take you to the carriage and there leave you. You will go straight to sanctuary and tomorrow the Duke of Gloucester will come to you."

"Thank you a thousand times. I shall never forget what you have done for me.

She kissed my hand and left me.

I do not know how I managed to suppress my excitement during that day.

I was with Isabel in the afternoon. We sat over our needlework as we often did. I must have seemed preoccupied, but that was not unnatural.

Isabel did say: "Anne, I think you are beginning to realise that George is right."

I nodded and hung my head.

"He is, when all is said, only trying to do what is best for you. He has your welfare at heart."

Still I did not answer. I was amazed at my duplicity, but I did have to keep reminding myself that I must not betray by the slightest word or gesture that I was contemplating flight.

There was a great deal of revelry in the hall that night, as was the custom when the Duke of Clarence was present. The long tables were filled with retainers and there were all the squires and pages who were considered necessary to the comfort of the diners.

The minstrels were playing in the gallery as the scullions and serving men and women hurried back and forth to the kitchens.

The duke was seated at the centre of the table on the dais and Isabel was on his right hand, I on his left.

He was very merry and I noticed that now and then he put out a hand to caress Isabel. She was smiling and happy. My heart was pounding. I longed to be free to go to my chamber and be conducted to the waiting carriage.

Clarence was particularly affable to me. I think Isabel must have told him that I had come to my senses and that I understood I should be wise to obey my guardian and be a docile ward in future.

He was drinking heavily, I noticed, but he frequently did. He called for a song. It was about love and he listened with a sentimental gleam in his eyes.

He parted my hand.

"Anne." he said.

"My dear little sister. I am going to see that all is well for you. Your welfare is one of my greatest concerns. You know that, do you not?"

He put his face close to mine and I said: "I know that you think of my future, my lord."

"You are my dear wife's sister, and everything concerning her is dear to my heart. Come. Drink with me ... to our happy future. Wine ... wine ... good Malmsey wine for the Lady Anne."

One of the men filled my goblet.

To the future." said Clarence.

"Our friendship, Anne, yours and mine. It is as steady as a rock and always will be. Come, you are not drinking. I want to see the contents of that goblet go down. Otherwise I shall think you are not sincere with me."

I forced myself to drink.

There. Now we are friends. Did you see that, Isabel? Anne and I understand each other. So no more anxiety, my dear, on our account."

"Anne knows that you are concerned for her good." said Isabel, "do you not, Anne?"

"I know that my lord duke is concerned for my future." I said ambiguously.

"Well." said Clarence, "let us have another song. Tell those minstrels. This time a merry roundalay."

So they sang and some danced and it seemed a long time before I could escape to my chamber.

Once I was there, I put on a cloak and waited, but not for long. There was a gentle tap on the door.

"Are you ready, my lady?" She spoke in a whisper.

"Bring nothing. Those are my lord's orders."

"I am ready."

"Then come."

I followed her down the spiral staircase. Quietly we went. I was praying that we should meet no one on the way.

We were fortunate and reached the courtyard unseen. We sped across it ... out through the gate ... and there was the carriage waiting.

She opened the door and I stepped in.

"God's speed, my lady," she said, and ran back through the courtyard. And I was jolting along, away from captivity ... away from the Duke of Clarence.

A drowsiness began to creep over me. I could scarcely keep my eyes open. So listless did I feel that I did not even begin to wonder why, when at a time like this I should expect to be particularly alert.

The carriage had stopped. The driver descended and looked in.

"Are you comfortable, my lady?" he asked.

"Yes. Have we arrived?"

"Not yet. We've a little way to go."

"Where are we going?"

"Can't say. Waiting for instructions. All's well. Take a little nap. You'll soon be there ... where they will be waiting to welcome you. I closed my eyes. It was so easy to slip into sleep.

I awoke suddenly. I could not remember for the moment what had happened. Then my mind cleared. I was in the carriage going to the sanctuary where I should meet Richard.

I sat up. I was not in the carriage. I was in a small room ... an attic room. There were rushes on the floor and I was lying on a pallet. There was an unusual smell. Later I recognised it as rancid grease and other unpleasant ingredients.

I put my hand to my throat and touched the coarse material of my gown. But when I had left I had been wearing a velvet dress and cloak. I was supposed to be meeting Richard. I must be dreaming. I tried to shake off the dream but it was becoming like a nightmare.

The unfamiliar room ... the unfamiliar dress ... I could hear the sound of voices below ... shouting, raucous voices ... and horses' hoofs. I was in a street.

I called out: "Who's there? Where am I?"

A woman who had been sitting in the shadows stood up and came over to me.

"You all right, Nan?" she asked.

"Nan?"I asked.

"You had one of your turns." I'm not Nan."

"No," she said.

"Not that again. We're getting tired of your fancies, Nan. Lets stop it, eh?"

"I cannot understand what you are talking about. What am I doing here? I was in the carriage going to sanctuary."

She laughed.

"Anything to get away from the pots and pans, I see. And don't give yourself such airs. Talk proper like the rest of us. We've just about had enough of you showing off, just because you was once a lady's maid to some grand lady ... and ever since you've been aping her. We don't swallow that, Nan. We never did. You're just Nan. Now get up and down to that kitchen. If you're quick, you might be in time for a crust of bread and a sup of ale."

A terrible fear was creeping over me. I said: "Do you know that I'm the Lady Anne Neville?"

"Yes," she said.

"And I'm His Grace of Canterbury. Come on, up with you."

I rose unsteadily to my feet. I noticed that one side of the room sloped down to the floor.

I said: "Please tell me what has happened. I left Warwick Court in the carriage. What happened? I must have gone to sleep."

"Asleep and dreaming, that is what you've been doing ... when you ought to have been washing them pans. There's work to be done in the kitchen, my girl. The place don't run itself."

"Oh, God help me," I prayed.

"I am going mad."

I was given a push which sent me reeling against the wall. I turned to the woman appealingly.

"Will you please tell me what this means? Who brought me here? Where are my clothes? Will you tell me where I am?"

"You're out off your mind. Nan, that's what you are. You know where you are and where you've been this last month. Sometimes I think you're truly addle-pated. We don't believe your stories about you being this and that great lady. Stop it, Nan, or people will say you're really off your head. You won't know the difference twixt what is and what ain't."

She pushed me towards the door. It opened onto a flight of stairs and, seizing my arm, she made me descend them with her.

We went along a dark corridor and another door was opened. I was dazzled by the light which came from a window through which I glimpsed a yard containing several tall bins.

I blinked and saw that I was In a kitchen. A man was standing against a bench. His shirt was open at the front, disclosing a hairy chest, and there was a black fuzz of hair on his arms. He was tall, commanding-looking and he surveyed me with some interest.

"Oversleeping again." said the woman.

"I demand to know where I am and who brought me here." I cried.

There were two girls, one plump with a saucy, laughing face, the other small, pale and insignificant.

The saucy one pranced into the centre of the room and said: "I demand to know where I am and who brought me here." in an attempt to imitate my voice.

"Who are you today, sweeting?" said the man.

"What do you mean?"

"Lady Muck or Madam Slosh?" asked the saucy one.

I was staring at them aghast. I had been the victim of a conspiracy. It was becoming obvious to me that there had been some diabolic plot and these people were involved in it.

I said: "I am the Lady Anne Neville. I left Warwick Court, as I thought, for sanctuary. Will you take me there immediately?"

The tall man bowed.

"My lady, your carriage awaits." he said.

"Where is it?" I asked, and they burst into laughter.

"Here." said the saucy girl.

"We've had enough of this. Don't stand there. Will your ladyship get on with washing them pans? They'll be wanted for the midday trade."

I had never washed pans. I did not know how to begin. The thin girl was at my side. She said: "Ere, I'll give you a 'and."

I heard someone say: "She is going to faint or something."

I was pushed into a chair. The kitchen was swimming round me. Thoughts chased each other through my mind. The girl who had told me that she had a message from Richard ... the attentions of Clarence as he had sat beside me ... his favourite Malmsey wine which he had insisted on my drinking. Yes, it was a plot... a dastardly plot. It had nothing to do with Richard.

There had been something in the wine to make me drowsy, to dull my senses; the driver of the carriage had waited until it had had its effect so that I should not know where I was being taken. And they had brought me here to this dreadful place. Richard would not know where I was.

As the horror of my situation dawned upon me, I felt numb with terror. All these dreadful people around me were involved.

They were trying to tell me I was not myself, that I belonged here.

I was someone called Nan. I felt my whole life slipping away from me. I was a prisoner in this frightening place. I was caught, trapped in a conspiracy devised by the Duke of Clarence.

Even now when I look back at that time, I find it hard to believe it ever happened to me. It was so wildly melodramatic and there were times during that terrible period when I found it difficult to cling to sanity and they almost convinced me that I was mad.

I would whisper to myself: I am Lady Anne Neville. I am the daughter of the Earl of Warwick. I am betrothed to Richard, Duke of Gloucester. These people are liars, all of them. They are playing parts which have been written for them as in a play. Why? And who is the playwright?

I knew, of course. It was Clarence. He was my enemy, our enemy: mine and Richard's. He was going to prevent our marriage at all costs. That was why he had put me here. To be rid of me? But why send me here? Why could he not simply have killed me? Because he dared not? Richard was my protector. Clarence was the king's brother but so was Richard.

What if Clarence ordered these people to kill me? They could bury my body somewhere here, or throw it into the river, and no one would hear of me again.

I was in a state of numbness for two days; after that, growing a little accustomed to my dismal background, my mind roused itself from its hopeless lethargy and I began to consider what I might do.

I was forced to work by threats of physical violence from the woman whom I had first seen when I had awakened in these sordid surroundings. I had to try to play the part assigned to me -that of kitchen maid.

I discovered that I was in a cookshop which sold meat pies. I was carefully watched and never allowed out of the kitchen when the shop was open. The two girls served the customers.

I had to watch the meat on the spits and wash the pots and pans. I was no good at it. I would be forced to stand at a tub with hands thrust in greasy water up to my elbows, scouring theutensils used for cooking. The big woman would call to me to fetch this and that and as I did not know what she was talking about in those first days I was clumsy and inadequate. I was constantly being called a dolt, a fool. Addle-pate was the favourite epithet; and even if I had realised what was expected of me, it was difficult to understand their speech which was very different from that to which I was accustomed.

I began to know something of these people. The man spent his time between the kitchen and the shop. His name was Tom. He, with his wife Meg, were the owners of the shop. She was the woman whom I had first seen on awakening. Then there were the two girls Gilly, the bold one, and Jane the other.

I was aware that all of them watched me with a certain furtiveness which raised my spirits a little. I felt it implied that they all knew I was not this Nan and had been brought here against my will, and that they had been instructed to obey the orders they had received. They had to pretend that I had been with them for some time and that I was addle-pated Nan who dreamed of grandeur because I had once been lady's maid to a rich woman.

At first I had insisted that I was Lady Anne Neville and that a message should be sent to the Duke of Gloucester telling him where I was.

They had jeered at that.

"The Duke of Gloucester? Did you hear that?"

"Aye, I heard. Tis a wonder she stoops so low. Why not to her friend, the king?"

I said: "Yes ... yes. Send to the king. Tell the king. Then you will see."

"Perhaps he'll send his crown for you to wear." suggested Gilly.

That was not the way. I must find out what this meant. I must delude them. I must be quiet and watchful. I must try to find a way of getting out of this place.

The two girls, Gilly and Jane, slept in a room similar to mine. I slept alone, which was significant, and every night my door was locked, I knew, because I had thought to steal out of the place when they were asleep. I could only be locked in at night because they wanted to prevent my escape. I guessed they dared not let me escape.

In those first days I had eaten little. I could not bear the food that was offered. I was not prepared to eat with them. Their manners sickened me.

Two days and nights had passed. How had I endured it? Whichever way I turned, I met with the same treatment. They were all insisting that I was Nan, the half-mad serving girl suffering delusions that I was a fine lady.

At the end of those two days I was in such deep distress that I had to do something. Despair sharpened my wits. I had to pretend to accept this ... for only then might they drop their guard a little, only then might I discover what their intentions were, only then might I find a way to escape.

I had detected a hint of kindliness in Jane. She was rather inclined to be put upon more so than Gilly, who could stand up for herself.

Jane and I often did the menial tasks together. I watched her when she helped with the pots and pans. She would show me where to find those implements which I had to take to Tom or Meg.

I said to her one day when we were alone in the kitchen: "Where are we? Where is this place?"

"It's in the Chepe," she said.

I had heard of the Chepe. It was a street in London.

"Who comes here to buy the pies?"

"All sorts."

"Why am I not allowed in the shop?"

"Dunno."

"You are."

"Sometimes."

"You see people then?"

She nodded.

"How long have you been here?"

"Since Lammas last."

"You had never seen me before that day Meg brought me down to the kitchen and I fainted, had you?"

She did not answer and turned away.

I must be careful. I must not alarm her, for alarmed she undoubtedly was when I tried to extract information from her. She knew, as they all did, that I was not Nan who had been working with them for some time and who suffered from delusions. "Does anyone else work here?" I asked at another time.

"Only us."

"Do any of the people from the court ever come here?"

"I dunno."

"People from Crosby's Place ... the serving men and women there? There must be hundreds of them."

"I dunno."

"People from Warwick Court?" She shrugged her shoulders.

I thought, some might come here. I knew that when my father had been in Warwick Court his men were all over London. I had heard it said that the emblem of the Ragged Staff was seen in taverns all over the city. And if the taverns, why not the cook-shops?

They were watchful of me, very wary. I think the quietness which had come over me made them wonder. I had ceased to insist that I was Lady Anne Neville. To them it could seem now and then that I had accepted my role of addle-pated Nan, but they were a little suspicious still.

Tom alarmed me. I would be aware of his eyes on me as I worked in the kitchen. Sometimes he would shout at me, declare that I was a fool, an idiot. At others he would say: "That's good. Coming on, eh?" and he would touch my shoulder. I recoiled when he did that. I could not bear him to be near me. Both Meg and Gilly watched him closely, I noticed.

Whenever I found myself alone with Jane I tried to talk to her. I said to her one day: "Meg seems very anxious to please Tom." Jane looked at me in astonishment. They are very happily married, are they?" I went on. She reverted to her usual reply.

"Dunno."

"Do you think she is a little jealous?"

This was dangerous talk. Jane looked furtive. Then a rather sly smile curved her lips. She said: "Master ... he be terrible fond of women."

The weather was hot. The smells of the kitchen permeated the entire place and they nauseated me. I wondered how much longer I could endure this. I tried to tell myself that something must happen soon. Richard would discover I was not at Warwick Court. He would want to know where I was. He would search for me.

I noticed that Tom's eyes strayed towards me often. I thought he was going to find fault with me, but he did not. He asked me to bring one of the pans to him and when I did so, his hand touched mine. I hurried away as quickly as I could. I kept thinking of Jane's words: "Master ... he be terrible fond of women." Poor thin, dirty, dishevelled creature that I must appear to be, I was yet a woman and I trembled.

That night I lay in bed telling myself that I must get away. I must run into the shop, tell someone who I was. I must endeavour to get into the streets. I would run and run. I must find someone who could guide me to Crosby's Place.

I dozed fitfully, for I was always exhausted at the end of the day. I ate scarcely anything. I was growing thinner. It was only my firm belief that this could not last for ever which gave me the strength to go on.

I awoke startled. It was as though I had had a premonition of hovering evil. I sat up. I could hear the hammering of my heart.

Then the key was turning in the lock. The door opened quietly and I saw the tall figure of Tom, his eyes glittering, his mouth slightly open, showing his yellow teeth. He was coming towards me, leering, and I could not fail to be aware of his intentions.

With all the strength that I could muster I leaped up. I shrieked loudly. As he came forward, horror and disgust gave me some impetus and I managed to slip past him. He reached out to take hold of me but I evaded him. I was on the stairs which led down to the kitchen. I screamed as he came after me.

Blindly I ran. He was close behind me. I heard him cursing me under his breath.

I was shouting: "Go away. How dare you! Leave me alone! Do you know who I am?.If you dare touch me!"

I felt sick with fear and horror. I reached the kitchen, I was pulling at the door which led to the shop. My one idea was to try to get out of this place. And then I was aware of Meg.

She was standing, her arms akimbo, her eyes blazing. I ran towards her.

"Save me," I cried.

"Don't let him...." She seized me and pushed me behind her. She started to shout: "You fool! You goat! You'll be having us all on the gallows. You mad or something! And all because you can't see a girl without you've got to be at her. What do you think they'd do to you if they found out, eh? It wouldn't be a nice cosy rope for you ... and all of us in it with you. Did you fancy the lady, eh, you idiot?"

I was cowering against the wall. Meg was magnificent in her rage. I was amazed by the effect she had on him. He was staring at her with fear in his eyes. She had changed him from a man determined to satisfy his lust to a cringing object of fear. Her words had struck home. They knew who I was. They had been paid to keep me prisoner, to make me believe that I was a deluded kitchen maid. And for the first time since I had entered this place they had betrayed that. They could not have been more explicit. No longer could they tell me I was demented Nan, the fanciful dreamer. I was myself, the one I knew myself to be. Further attempts at subterfuge would be useless.

Meg said: "Get back to your room, Nan. You're safe enough from this idiot. I'll see to that. And I'll see to you, too, me lad, before you get us all into trouble that'll be the end of us."

She pushed me towards the door.

I said: "You had better let me go before it is too late. If you let me go now I will do all I can to save you from the consequences of your actions."

"Shut your mouth," she said.

She pushed me before her and we mounted the stairs. Another push sent me into the attic. The keys were still on the outside of the door.

"You'll have no more visits tonight... nor any other," she said.

She locked me in and I heard her go down the stairs.

I leaned against the attic wall, feeling dizzy but in a way triumphant.

I had had a miraculous escape from a fate which would have been intolerable to me. I felt sick when I remembered that loathsome, panting, lecherous creature and what he was contemplating doing. Meg had saved me. I was grateful to her. But she had done more than that. She had wiped away any vague doubt that might have been springing up in my mind. I was myself; I was sane; and I must get away.

They would realise of course that they had betrayed themselves this night, and that Meg was afraid of what danger they might be in. This would certainly be brought home to Meg when she recovered a little from the rage against her husband.

So, horrified as I was by the incident, I knew I should rejoice in it. Meg would be watchful over her husband's attitude towards me in the future and that was the best safeguard against him that I could have.

Sleep was impossible. I lay on my pallet and tried to make plans for escape.

Two more days passed. Tom did not look at me. He was clearly ashamed to have been humiliated and defeated by his wife ... before my eyes.

Meg avoided me too. I was glad of that. Her attitude had changed towards me. She was less abusive. I tried to talk to Jane about the streets outside. I said I wished I could go out with her when she went out. She was silent.

"Could you take me with you?" She shook her head.

"Jane," I persisted.

"Had you ever seen me before that night when I came?" She was silent.

"Tell the truth, Jane," I pleaded.

"You were told I was mad Nan . and you must pretend I worked here with you but I thought I was someone else. That's right, is it not, Jane?"

She shook her head.

"You're Nan," she said, as though repeating a lesson.

"You worked in a grand house once and thought you was the lady there ... Lady Anne something. You wasn't right in the 'cad."

"Jane, you know the truth."

"Don't you get at me."

"Jane, if when you go into the streets, you could tell someone ..."

She moved away from me. I could see that she was frightened. I wondered about Gilly. She was brighter than Jane. Suppose I tried to bribe Gilly to get me out somehow? How far could I go with her? I felt those two girls were my only hope. Clarence ... and it must have been Clarence ... would have made the contract with the cookshop owners to keep me a prisoner. I could expect no help from them.

Then it happened. Lust was Tom's downfall, as I supposed it had been of many before him. After that terrible night, I had become aware of things which had escaped me before. I had seen Tom with Gilly and I guessed that there was some relationship between them. Danger of discovery by Meg would no doubt add an excitement for the guilty pair.

Gilly was a lusty girl and I imagined there would not have been a shortage of lovers in her life, and, like Tom, she would not be the sort to deny herself. For two such people to find themselves in close proximity must have inevitable consequences It was the opportunity which I had been waiting for.

It happened in the afternoon which was a slack time for business. Jane was in the shop in case any customers came in, which was rare between the hours of three and five o'clock. I was in the kitchen, finishing the pans, when suddenly there was a commotion.

Through the window I saw Gilly running into the yard. Her blouse was half off her shoulders. Tom was with her, red-faced and dishevelled, his shirt open and behind them, the avenging Meg.

Jane came into the kitchen. She was giggling.

"Caught." she whispered.

"And no wonder the way they was carrying on. Anytime ... anywhere ..."

Meg was angry. She was shouting.

"You find your own men, you slut. Get out of this place. I've a mind to send you both off. As for you ... you rake ... you can't leave 'em alone, can you? Can't have her ladyship, so you'll take the slut."

Gilly approached Meg. They were both big women.

Gilly's hands shot up and she caught Meg by the hair. Meg kicked out and in a moment they were both rolling on the ground, fighting each other.

I had never seen two women fighting before. It was a shocking sight. Tom stood by, looking bewildered and ineffectual. And Jane and I remained at the window, looking out on the scene.

I do not know who was the victor. They seemed to come to a sudden decision. They both stood up and glared at each other. There was blood on both of their faces; their hair hung loose about their shoulders and they looked subhuman.

Then I heard Meg's voice, strident and authoritative: "There's no place for you here. You get out, and sharp. This is my shop." She turned to Tom.

"And I'd have you remember that, too. I want you out of this place, Miss. I'll not have your sort here and it's out, I say."

I could see the dismay in Gilly's face. It was one thing to fight with Meg in the backyard, but another to be out on the streets. For all her bravado, Gilly depended on her place in the cookshop. She turned to Tom.

"You going to stand for that?" He did not answer. I saw the power now of Meg. It was her cookshop, and she was not going to let anyone forget it. I wondered briefly how two such women could have fought over Tom. Had I been Meg I should have been glad to turn him out, along with Gilly.

But evidently she did not feel the same. Tom was hers and she was going to keep him, even though it did mean fighting a constant battle against his straying desires. Gilly hurled a stream of abuse at Meg first, then at Tom. Then she came inside and left Tom and Meg in the yard. She went up to the room she shared with Jane and, as I heard her heavy footsteps on the stairs, an idea came to me.

I ran up the stairs after her and went into her room. She was sitting on her pallet, glaring before her.

"What do you want?" she demanded. To talk to you."

"Get out."

"No," I said.

"I won't. Where will you go?"

"None of your business."

"Yes it is. You have nowhere to go. Your face is cut. Can I help you?"

"I said get out."

"I know how you could do well. You could have a cookshop of your own ... if you did what I said."

"Addle-pate," she said, but a little more gently.

"Why should you stay here and work for them ... even if you could? Why should you be on such terms with a man like that? You could have a shop like this one and choose your own husband."

"Get away with you."

"Be sensible ... before it is too late." She wavered.

"How?" she said.

"You know I am not Nan, do you not? You know I was brought here one night and you were told to play your parts ... to pretend that I was the simple kitchen maid who thought she was a grand lady. You know I am Lady Anne Neville. I was brought here because there is a dispute over money. If you will go Crosby's Place and ask to see the Duke of Gloucester ... if you will tell him you have news of the Lady Anne Neville ... he will see you and listen to you. Tell him where I am and when he comes to take me away from here I shall see ... we both shall see ... that you are well rewarded."

"You're mad."

"I'm not ... and you know I am not. Give it a chance. You'll never have another like it. Where will you go when you leave here? This is a chance for you ... take it."

"Who'd listen to me?"

"The Duke of Gloucester would. He wants to find me. He will listen to anyone who tells him where I am. Believe me. I am speaking the truth. These people will be punished for what they have done. You should not be a party to their crime. This is a chance for you. I beg you, take it, not only for my sake, but for your own. Do as I say. What harm can it do?"

"Go to Crosby's Place?" she murmured.

"Yes, to Crosby's Place. You could do it. You know how to make people listen to you. Ask someone to take you to the Duke of Gloucester."

"They'd laugh at me."

Tell them they'd be sorry if they did because you come from Lady Anne Neville, daughter of the Earl and Countess of Warwick."

There was a gleam of interest in her eyes.

"Do it, Gilly." I pleaded.

"You have nothing to lose and everything to gain."

"You really believe it, don't you? You really believe you are this high and mighty lady."

"I am Lady Anne Neville, Gilly. Prove it by doing what I tell you. I promise you, you will not be forgotten. Both the duke and I will be forever grateful to you if you bring about my release from this place."

"Get away from me." she said, and started tying up her things in a bundle.

I left her. I was half hopeful, half despairing.

I was not sure what she would do. Shortly afterwards she left the shop.

I was lying on my pallet. Meg had locked me in. She kept the keys now, and I was glad. It gave me a certain sense of security.

I was thinking of Gilly, wondering what she was doing. Had she gone to Crosby's Place? And what would the guards say when a woman with a bruised face and ragged none-too-clean garments asked to be taken to the Duke of Gloucester? She would be driven away.

Yes, but Gilly was not one to be easily thrust aside. Everything depended on whether she believed me. If she did, then she would persist. After all, as I had pointed out to her, she had little to lose and much to gain.

Would she ever get to Richard? If she mentioned my name ... Yes, he would surely receive her if he heard that. But how would she ever get near him?

Then ... I heard the shouts from below.

"Open up! Open up!"

Meg was calling. I heard Tom's voice. Through the windows I could see the torches. Then the door was burst open and I could hear people. They must be crowding into the shop. There were footsteps on the stairs.

A voice called: "Anne! Anne! Are you there!" It was Richard.

I was almost faint with joy. I beat on my door.

"Here, here ... Richard!" I called.

"I am locked in here."

Then I heard him shouting: "Where is the lady? Take me to her! At once, at once, I say!"

Footsteps. The key in the door. And there he was.

For a few seconds he did not recognise me, and instantly I was conscious of how I must look.

Then I cried: "Richard! You've come! Gilly found you. Oh, thank God."

I ran to him and he caught me in his arms. The joy of that moment, after so much degradation and humiliation, was almost too much to bear. I felt the tears on my cheeks. I was free. The nightmare was over.