The Reserve

3

VANESSA’S MOTHER, EVELYN COLE, HAD LONG FEARED THAT her daughter was insane, but Dr. Cole would not hear of it. For years they had fought over whether to have Vanessa committed: Mrs. Cole arguing that it would save not only their daughter’s life but their marriage as well; Dr. Cole insisting that Vanessa’s periodic threats and occasional attempts to kill herself and her wildly reckless behavior — the flagrant sexual involvements with married men, the arrests for public lewdness, the spending binges on clothes and jewelry and the shoplifting that often accompanied them, the drug and alcohol abuse, even the two sudden elopements and the divorces that quickly followed — were high drama designed mainly to gain attention.

“Attention from whom?” Evelyn would angrily demand.

“From us,” he would say. And sigh, “Mainly from me, I suppose,” confessing once again that he had failed Vanessa when she was a child, that he had been consumed in those years by his work and consequently had neglected his daughter. “Though she’s brilliant and talented, a trained musician and actress, and a gifted writer, too, if she wanted to apply herself to it, mentally she’s still a child,” he explained to practically anyone who would listen, but especially, when they were alone, to his wife, who seemed determined to blame Vanessa’s behavior on Vanessa herself.

As if invoking a higher authority, he would say to her, “People who are deprived of certain emotional necessities in childhood often remain stuck there.” And then confessing yet again, as if it gave him hope, “When she was very young, I was mostly absent, physically and emotionally. Even you know that. Then, during the war, when she was only eleven and twelve, I was off in France and left her in your care. And you, my dear, were often ill yourself. You were drinking heavily then, as you’ll recall. No, the servants raised our daughter. We were both off in our separate worlds. And you know it, and I know it. Nannies and housekeepers and babysitters raised Vanessa. First servants and then boarding school headmistresses and then college deans. And now there’s no one left to raise her but us. And because she’s an adult, it’s too late. The difference between you and me is that you won’t admit it. We reap what we sow, Evelyn.”

But he insisted that he did not blame his wife; he blamed himself. Dr. Cole was not one to shrug off responsibility. Evelyn, as he liked to say, had her own problems, of which alcohol was only one. As a young woman in her twenties and thirties, Evelyn Cole had suffered from what was called nervous exhaustion and was subject to fainting spells and long periods of lassitude and depression, hypochondria and extreme mood swings, which her husband, the doctor, treated with small doses of paregoric and other drugs, and she treated with gin. It wasn’t until four years ago when she was approaching fifty and on an extended European family vacation and could not stop weeping and could not leave her Zurich hotel room that she put herself in the care of Dr. Gunther Theobold, the famous Swiss psychoanalyst, who took her off all forms of medication, including alcohol. It was he who finally convinced Dr. Cole that Mrs. Cole was correct. For their sake and hers, he told them, their daughter should be institutionalized. “Not confined like a prisoner, but psychoanalyzed. She will of course be required to reside at the institute for at least a year,” he explained.

Dr. Cole warned Dr. Theobold that Vanessa’s accounts of her childhood would doubtless sound bizarre and were likely to be wholly invented, but the psychoanalyst smiled and said that he had been told all kinds of fairy tales and listened not for the facts but for the truth. “When the patient learns the truth, the emotional truth, she will be freed of her delusions and will cease the behavior that has been based on those delusions.” They followed his advice and committed her then and there to the Theobold Institute, where Vanessa was indeed confined, kept behind high brick walls until, after meeting with her daily for thirteen months, Dr. Theobold pronounced her cured, no longer a danger to herself or others, and sent her home to New York, bearing what she said were the manuscripts of a surrealist novel and a Shakespearean sonnet sequence that she had written at the institute.

But she was not cured. Dr. Theobold confided to his assistant, Dr. Reichold, that the girl was probably incurable, at least by conventional means. He would not be surprised if before long she was back. Within weeks of taking up residence in her parents’ apartment, she was arrested at the Carlyle Hotel for refusing to leave the hallway outside the penthouse suite where her ex-husband, Count Von Heidenstamm, lived when in New York. The count, who had recently remarried, was in Monte Carlo on his honeymoon. Though there was no reason to think the newlyweds would return for months and the nickel-plated revolver found in her purse suggested otherwise, Vanessa insisted to the police that she only wanted to be there to congratulate the couple when they returned to New York.

Days later, she wrecked her father’s Packard in Westport, Connecticut, driving home drunk at 3:00 A.M. from a party, given by the members of a secret society at Yale, where she had been the only female guest. She was arrested and spent the rest of the night in jail. The following morning Dr. Cole rushed by train to Westport. He posted bail for his daughter, purchased a replacement Packard, and drove her back to New York, relieved to learn that the party had been given by Wolf’s Head, not Skull and Bones.

She told her friends and her parents and their friends and a reporter from the New York Herald Tribune that she had been asked by the American Olympic Committee to solo all forty-four national anthems in their native tongues at the upcoming winter Olympic Games in Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Germany, after which she would be doing a series of programs for the BBC on the “New American Opera.” Later, she attributed her absence at the winter games to the Nazi party’s insistence on having a German operatic soprano sing the national anthems. The BBC series, she claimed, was canceled when it was learned that Vanessa had once been a friend of Wallis Simpson, the American divorcée whose attachment to the new king Edward VIII was scandalizing all Britain. “Attractive American women need not apply,” she explained.

At the Stork Club one night she told Walter Winchell that she was sleeping with Ernest Hemingway and had been invited to join him on safari in Kenya, and Winchell reported it in his column the following day, although he did not reveal her name or Hemingway’s, merely referring to her as a “Gorgeous Gotham Gadabout” and the author as a “Titan of the Typewriter.”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, there’s nothing to it,” Vanessa said when her parents challenged her on these and other outlandish stories. “It’s only a goddamn joke. I’m tweaking their noses, that’s all. Giving bored people something interesting to talk about.”

But her dangerous, erratic behavior and wild exaggerations and outright lies kept Dr. and Mrs. Cole in a state of constant anxiety and dread — which did not altogether displease Vanessa. She enjoyed keeping them in that state. Consequently, when after a few months her parents began to ignore her reckless and threatening ways, as if they’d grown accustomed to them, she would suddenly turn into the good daughter again — a calm, lucid, sociable, and controlled young woman of the world. Soon the three Coles, father, mother, and daughter, were seen going out to dinner together again, spending weekends at the house in Tuxedo Park, entertaining friends and colleagues and distinguished New Yorkers from the worlds of art, medicine, and commerce at their apartment, and in early July heading north to the Adirondack wilderness for the annual Independence Day gathering of ’08 Bonesmen and their families at Rangeview, the Cole camp on the Second Tamarack Lake.

But as soon as her parents appeared content, Vanessa found a new way to alarm or, better yet, embarrass them. Flying off in a seaplane that Fourth of July night with the artist Jordan Groves was hardly alarming to them and certainly was not embarrassing, but it may have raised Dr. Cole’s blood pressure sufficiently to have contributed to his fatal heart attack. And when, five days later, at his funeral in Greenwich, Connecticut, Vanessa delivered an oration over his ashes that scandalized her mother and everyone else who had ever loved and admired Dr. Cole — a strange, tangled account of her relationship with her father, suggesting, but not stating explicitly, that when she was a little girl he had sexually abused her — her mother was both sufficiently alarmed and embarrassed that, after consulting Whitney Brodhead, the family attorney, and exchanging a series of cables with Dr. Theobold, she decided that she had no choice but to have Vanessa institutionalized a second time.

It took Evelyn Cole most of two weeks to make the arrangements. Finally, under the pretense of meeting at the Wall Street offices of Brodhead, Stevens, and Wyse to discuss Dr. Cole’s will, and in the presence of Whitney Brodhead and Dr. Otto Reichold, Dr. Theobold’s nice young assistant, Evelyn Cole informed her daughter, Vanessa, that she had become a danger to herself and others. The necessary papers had already been drawn up, she said. She hoped that Vanessa would see the wisdom and necessity of this decision and would cooperate.

Vanessa sat back in the leather chair and sighed heavily and closed her eyes. Her mother reached across from the chair beside her and patted her hand. No one said a word. The large, dim conference room was decorated with portraits of the firm’s founders and furnished with oak tables, glass-fronted bookcases filled with law books, heavy leather-upholstered chairs, standing ashtrays, and a tufted leather sofa with gleaming brass trim. The only sound was the loud ticktock of the antique, burled-maple clock posted by the door.

Dr. Reichold, flaxen haired, handsome, sturdy, stood by the window on the other side of the room. He slowly filled his pipe with tobacco from a small round leather pouch and looked down from the tall window at the bowlers and umbrellas of the lunch-time throng of pedestrians ten floors below. He was eager to get home to Zurich, but if the girl did not go along willingly and sign the commitment papers, if she resisted, then the mother might want to take the case to court, which Dr. Theobold had instructed him to avoid at all costs. The institute was not recognized in the United States as a legally licensed mental institution; no American court would approve of sending Vanessa to Zurich against her will. And Dr. Theobold did not want the girl committed to one of those terrible American lunatic asylums where, he wrote to Mrs. Cole, she would be driven to suicide. If anyone was going to cure the daughter of Dr. Carter Cole, it would be he, Dr. Gunther Theobold.

“Don’t you think it would be nice and okay for enjoying the autumn in Zurich, Vanessa?” Dr. Reichold said.

Seated at the end of the long conference table with a sheaf of papers in front of him, Mr. Brodhead, round as a medicine ball and hairless except for a curling shoal above his ears and a thick white mustache, scrutinized his navy blue pin-striped lapel and plucked a tiny white hair from it and set it carefully to the side, as if saving it for later. “It’s really for the best, Vanessa,” the attorney said without looking at her. An unpleasant piece of business, this. He hoped it would end quickly, without a scene. He hated scenes, especially when significant family estates were involved.

Vanessa opened her large blue eyes, and they were filled with tears. She said to her mother, “I suppose you have everything ready for me to sign. Like last time.”

“Yes, dear. It’s really only a formality.”

“‘Only a formality.’”

“Essentially, all we’re doing here is giving your mother power of attorney while you’re in the care of Dr. Theobold,” Mr. Brodhead said. “And naming your mother, myself, and U. S. Trust as executors of the several trust funds established for you by your grandparents and your late father. And, of course, a statement certifying that you’re putting yourself in Dr. Theobold’s care of your own free will, et cetera.”

“‘Et cetera.’”

“Yes.”

“Why do I have to give Mother power of attorney, and give her and you and the nice old men at U. S. Trust control of what’s rightfully mine? I’m not a minor. I’m not certifiably crazy. Am I?”

“No, dear. It’s only a temporary safeguard,” her mother said and lightly nudged her on the arm, her writing arm, Vanessa noted.

“Against what?”

“It’s merely a means of safeguarding and managing your holdings while you’re incapacitated,” the lawyer said.

“‘Incapacitated’? I’m not incapacitated.”

“While you’re abroad, I mean.”

“I suppose, Mother, you’ve already booked passage for me.”

“Yes.”

“Of course. On the Isle de France, I hope?”

“Actually, I…,” her mother began. “No. I didn’t.”

“Oh, dear. Ernest has booked passage on the Isle de France for later this month, and it would be nice if we could travel together. At least until we must part in Paris.”

“Ernest?”

“Hemingway, Mother. The writer. He’s going to Spain, you know. To fight the Fascists and write about it for Collier’s, I think he said. He invited me to join him in Madrid. But I guess now I can’t do that, can I?” She sighed again. “He’ll probably end up with that awful Gellhorn woman. He’s left his wife, you know. Or is about to.”

“Actually, I thought you’d like it better if I got you a stateroom on the wonderful new German dirigible, the Hindenburg! You seemed so excited talking about it the other day! It’s quite luxurious. And expensive, I might add. Four hundred dollars, one way. But less than three days between New York and Frankfurt!” she said brightly. “Isn’t that amazing? And Dr. Theobold has agreed to meet you in Frankfurt and personally accompany you by train to Zurich.”

Dr. Reichold got his pipe ignited and sucked hard on it for a few seconds. “I will travel from America with you, Vanessa,” he said between sucks. “For me it is the first time on the zeppelin, too. There is even a room for smoking. We can sit in it and talk together, and you can tell me all about this writer, Ernest, if you like.”

“If I like.”

“Yes, yes, if you like.”

Her mother continued to pat Vanessa’s hand. “It’s for the best, dear. Don’t you agree?”

Vanessa pulled her hand away, leaving her mother to pat the arm of the chair. She felt like an animal with its leg in a steel trap and no way to free itself without amputating the limb. The mother, the lawyer, and the doctor had feigned calm solicitude and reason, and now, with barely disguised vigilance, they watched Vanessa examine her trap and test its strength. She knew what they wanted and expected from her. They were waiting for Vanessa to erupt in furious opposition, to snap and howl at them and keep them at bay, while she yanked at the caught limb, tore at it, clawed and then chewed on it, so that finally, to save Vanessa from herself, they would be obliged to wrestle her to the floor and stick her with a needle and medicate her. It would make her pliant and predictable. And it would make their case. They could say they had no choice. She was clearly a danger to herself and others. “Yes, Mother, I agree,” she said. “Whatever you want, whatever Daddy would have wanted, it’s for the best. Whatever Dr. Theobold and Dr. Teutonic Pipe here and Whitney Mr. Brodbent Esquire, and all those trustworthy old men at U. S. Trust, whatever they want is for the best. Best for whom, though?”

“Why, for you, darling.”

“All right, Mother.” She stood up and walked to the conference table. “All right. As. You. Wish. Where do I sign?”

THE FOLLOWING MORNING, AT THEIR HOUSE IN TUXEDO PARK, Vanessa and her mother were packing Vanessa’s trunk, when suddenly Vanessa left her mother alone in the bedroom. She went downstairs and into the basement laundry room, where she untied the laundress’s clothesline and cut it into four pieces. When she returned to the bedroom, her mother was bent over the bed carefully folding sweaters. Her back was to Vanessa, and she was humming “A Fine Romance.” Vanessa came up behind her and grabbed her by the wrists and wrenched her arms back and quickly tied them at the wrists and elbows. Too shocked and confused to cry out or even protest, her mother merely stared at her. She opened her mouth and inhaled deeply.

“Don’t say a word. Just listen.”

Her mother said, “Vanessa! What are you doing?”

Vanessa wrapped a nylon stocking around the older woman’s mouth and knotted it. “I told you not to say a word,” she said. Evelyn Cole shook her head from side to side, like a horse trying to spit the bit. “We’re going for a drive together, Mother. The Hindenburg will have to leave without me. Instead, we’re driving up to the Second Lake and scattering Daddy’s ashes there. It’s what he would have wanted,” she said and slammed the half-filled trunk shut. “Not this.”

Later in the week, when Vanessa did not show up in Parkhurst, New Jersey, for the departure of the Hindenburg, Dr. Reichold was not particularly disappointed. He was not fond of Vanessa personally and had not looked forward to spending thirty hours in close company with her, even on the Hindenburg. Nor, unlike most men, was he sexually attracted to her, as he preferred young blond male athletes and regretted having to miss the Berlin Olympic Games for this. But thanks to Mrs. Cole he had his return ticket to Frankfurt already paid for and in hand. He would simply report that Mrs. Cole had decided at the last minute not to commit her daughter, and Dr. Theobold would, as usual, stroke his beard and shrug and say, “In order to be helped, people must first come to me, Otto. I cannot go to them.”

Vanessa was well aware that she had done a terrible, probably irreversible thing. But she had done terrible, irreversible things in the past, and the consequences had not been fatal or even life-threatening. In time they had merely become part of her biography, episodes in the ongoing story of Vanessa Cole, which she later embroidered and elaborated upon, making of it a shifting, regularly revised tale filled with surprises and contradictions that shocked, amused, and perplexed those who heard it. From Vanessa’s perspective, this was the desired effect. Since hers was a story of ongoing beginnings, it was the best she could hope for. There were no necessary middles or inevitable endings to her life’s story. She wasn’t like other people, and she knew it. She hadn’t chosen this plight, exactly; it seemed to have been thrust upon her. It was as if her personal and public past and future were not real, as if her past could be constantly altered and her future indefinitely postponed. She was free to start her life over, again and again — daily, if she wished — but by the same token she had no alternative.

To avoid keeping her mother bound and gagged during the long journey north to the Reserve, Vanessa convinced her — although it was untrue — that she had a gun in her purse, the same nickel-plated.38 she had been carrying at the Carlyle back when she wanted to shoot Count No-Count. She told her mother that if she tried to escape or called for help, Vanessa would shoot herself in the head immediately. “If you wish to be responsible for my death, Mother, if you wish to see me murdered before your very eyes and in effect by your hand, then all you have to do is give the guy at the toll booth a signal or whisper something to the man pumping gas or say a word to anyone at the Tamarack Club,” she declared. “I won’t hesitate for a second to blow my brains out in front of everybody, believe me,” she said, and her mother did believe her.

Later, when she had her mother ensconced at the camp, she would not feel she had to bind and gag the woman — except when she left to chase down the artist Jordan Groves at his home in Petersburg and, of course, the following day, when he flew his seaplane to the Second Lake with Dr. Cole’s ashes and briefly visited the camp afterward and Vanessa almost succeeded in seducing him. She bound and gagged her then. “You can have the run of the camp as long as we’re here alone,” she said. “But you can’t go outside, Mother. And if someone comes up the lake in a boat or a hiker or someone from another camp stops by for a friendly chat, I’ll do all the talking. Otherwise, I’ll have to tie you up and lock you in the bedroom again and keep you there.”

Vanessa’s plan was not a plan; it was closer to a wild desire than a strategy. She wanted simply to avoid being institutionalized again, and she wanted somehow to regain control of the very large trust funds left to her by her grandparents and father that she had so placidly, so stupidly, placed in the hands of her mother, Mr. Brodhead, and U. S. Trust. She believed that the first of these desires would be satisfied if she did not willingly go to Zurich and her mother were kept from committing her elsewhere. The second would be satisfied only when her mother died of natural causes, highly unlikely at her age, or removed herself, Mr. Brodhead, and U. S. Trust as executors, also highly unlikely. Especially now. Vanessa’s ultimate wish was that, until her mother died, no one except Vanessa herself would be allowed to see the woman or speak with her. For the time being, then, and for as long as possible, the two of them would stay here at the camp, not exactly unknown to the world, but in relative isolation and very difficult of access. After that…well, she’d figure out what to do when she actually had to do it.

Rangeview, at the Second Tamarack Lake, was located as far from other people as Vanessa could presently imagine, but to stay there for more than a few days she needed supplies — fresh and tinned food, kerosene for the lamps, cigarettes, and liquor — and someone to deliver it on a regular basis. She thought first of the artist and his seaplane, but realized at once that he would refuse to help her, at least for now. Then she remembered Hubert St. Germain, the local guide who for decades had been attached as caretaker to Dr. Cole’s camp. Every July first, before the arrival of the Coles, Hubert opened the camp, stocked the larders, cut the firewood, and made the seasonal repairs to the roof and chimneys, tightened wind-loosened windowpanes and replaced torn screens, fixing whatever the hard Adirondack winter had broken. Vanessa liked and trusted Hubert St. Germain. He was very good looking, she thought, and shy and kept a discreet distance from his employers. You barely knew he’d been there, until you noticed a high stack of freshly cut firewood or saw that the broken steps to the deck had been replaced or opened the kitchen cupboard and realized that it had been restocked with oatmeal, soups, flour, sugar, and tinned beef, and in the icebox a large chunk of ice from the Tunbridge icehouse and a half-dozen freshly caught trout and a chilled bottle of Alsatian wine.

She would have to get to Hubert somehow; she would have to induce him to make weekly deliveries without having to come inside or hang around the camp, without having to see or speak with her mother.

“I’m sorry, Mother, but I’m going to lock you in the bedroom again.” They were seated at the kitchen table eating a breakfast of canned pork and beans. After two nights and one full day, it was the last of their food. “It’s going to be for four or five hours this time, so eat up. And you’d better use the bathroom before I leave.”

“You won’t tie my hands and feet and cover my mouth again, will you? Please don’t. Please. It’s an awful thing to do, Vanessa. Just awful,” her mother said and began to cry quietly.

“I know. And I hate doing it. But, Mother…,” she said and paused. “I can’t trust you, Mother. I just can’t. If I don’t keep you here, I know you’ll get the men in white coats to carry me off to the loony bin. It’s that simple. It really is. If Daddy were alive…well, if he were here, none of this would be necessary, that’s all.” She pushed her chair back and stood. “Ready?”

“I’m an old woman, Vanessa. Please don’t do this. And I’m not well, you know that.”

“You’re fifty-three, and you’re healthy as a horse. You’ll probably live another twenty-five years. By then I’ll be an old woman. Come on, I’ve got a lot to do today. We can’t live on canned beans and spring water.”

AN HOUR LATER, VANESSA HAD CROSSED THE SECOND LAKE and had made her way over the Carry, as the quarter-mile land bridge between the two lakes was called. She rowed the length of the First Lake, tied the guide boat at the dock, and quickly walked the gentle sloping trail back through the forest along the Tamarack River to the clubhouse, two miles away. There she went straight to the office of the manager, Russell Kendall, and entered without knocking.

He stood up abruptly, red faced, as if she had caught him doing something illicit. “I’d appreciate it if you knocked first, Vanessa. I could be having a confidential conversation with a member, you know.”

“But you’re not.”

“No. Not at the moment.” He wished he could make this girl just go away. The mother, too. These women, Evelyn and Vanessa Cole, or whatever she called herself now, were demanding and imperious. They were like a showgirl and her stage mother, he thought, and admired the thought. He was sorry the father had died. He had rather liked Dr. Cole, a gentle, gregarious man from an old Reserve family who liked to talk about Art and Nature. A man with a philosophical turn of mind. He tipped the staff well, and at Christmas, when the Tamarack Club was closed and Russell Kendall was in Augusta and the Reserve was the furthest thing from most members’ minds, Dr. Cole always remembered to send Kendall a hundred-dollar holiday bonus, ten times a club cook’s weekly pay.

“What can I do for you, Vanessa?” he asked.

“You can tell me how to get in touch with Hubert St. Germain. I need him to bring supplies up to Rangeview. Mother and I expect to be staying for longer than we had planned.”

“Oh. How long? I thought you were here for only a few days,” he said. “What happened with your father’s…his ashes? I hope you didn’t—”

“Don’t worry,” she interrupted. “I dumped them in the Tamarack River, but way over at Wappingers Falls. Not on Reserve property. By now Daddy’s doing the backstroke in Lake Champlain, heading north to the St. Lawrence and on to the freezing waters of the North Atlantic.”

“Vanessa, please,” Kendall said. “He’s your father.”

“Was. But you’re right,” she said, suddenly shifting intent and tone. “I’m sorry. It’s just…it’s just that Mother and I are both terribly upset by his death. Especially Mother. We’re mourning together. We’re grieving over him at the camp. The Reserve was Daddy’s most sacred place in the universe, you know. It was his true church. Somehow, even though we were forbidden by you to scatter his ashes at the Second Lake, we feel closer to him at the camp. So we’ve decided to stay for as long as his spirit lingers there. Possibly the rest of the summer. Possibly into the fall. It’s why I need to speak with Hubert St. Germain. I hope he hasn’t gone and arranged to take care of other camps and completely abandoned us. I know how popular he is, but he’s always worked for us, and Daddy was very fond of him. I’d hate to lose him…now that my father’s no longer here.” She brushed away a tear.

Kendall sat down at his desk and drew a ledger from a drawer, opened it, and went down the list of guides and their assignments. “No, Hubert’s free. He hasn’t worked since you left for New York on July fifth. At least not here at the Club or for any of the other Second Lake camps. Of course, he may have found work elsewhere by now. I mean, among the locals. Unlikely, though, given the way things are. And given the way guides are,” he added and smiled ruefully. “All the guides want is permission to hunt and fish in the Reserve, and they can’t do it unless they’re hunting or fishing for a member. Of course, they do it anyhow. In the off-season when we’re not here. Honestly, I don’t know how these people survive.”

She asked him how she could contact Hubert, but it turned out he had no telephone. Very few local people had telephones, Kendall explained. She would have to drive into the village and go to his house, which was out beyond the old Clarkson farm, a log house he’d built himself and where he lived alone, with no one but his dog for company since his wife died — a nice enough young woman, very plain, but quite pleasant when she worked at the Club, killed a few winters ago in an automobile accident. “Most of us expected Hubert to remarry, as he hadn’t been married long and had no children. But no. He is quite the ladies’ man, if you know what I mean. At least the local ladies seem to think so, the housekeepers and kitchen help. They practically swoon when he comes around,” Kendall nattered on. He was trying to sound like an intimate female friend, an equal, but it was hard for Kendall to be more than merely polite to Vanessa Cole. “Hubert is handsome, I suppose, in a rustic way. And very quiet. But you know what they say about the quiet ones,” he said.

“No. What do they say?”

“Oh, still waters and all that.” Kendall hoped he wouldn’t have to see much of the Cole girl this summer, or her mother, either. But if the two women did end up staying at their camp till the end of August or even longer, Hubert St. Germain would help keep them out of the manager’s hair. St. Germain was competent, independent, and discreet, a guide who kept things from getting complicated, and when he worked for one of the camps he made sure the owners didn’t have reason to come to the clubhouse complaining to management. “I’ll draw you a map to his house. It’s a little hard to find. It’s stuck over there beyond the village north of the Tamarack River, in the woods below Beede Mountain,” he said and pulled out a sheet of club stationery and began to draw.

JORDAN GROVES’S NEW STUDIO ASSISTANT ARRIVED EARLY FOR her first day of work, surprising the artist and irritating him, for she had interrupted the start of a silly, sexually explicit fantasy, a detailed continuation of his most recent encounter with Vanessa Von Heidenstamm, revealing for his delectation what surely would have happened had he not turned away from the woman at the last possible second. Turning away was not unusual for Jordan Groves. He was good at it. Several times a year, sometimes more, he walked to the very edge of a precipice, looked over and down the cliff with a longing to step off it, then backed away, later to enjoy from a safe mental distance the terrible consequences of a near leap into domestic disaster. The fantasies gave him an ache that was oddly satisfying and provided a sexual charge that he believed enlivened him without endangering him or anyone else. The only women he actually made love to, other than his wife, of course, were women he was incapable of loving, and he never had sex with them more than once and almost never saw them again. The others he visited like this, in fantasy, telling himself little sex stories, over and over. In this way — perhaps it was the only way — he had managed all these years to avoid falling in love with anyone other than his wife, and, except for the fact that he knew it was an indulgence and would certainly not have wanted his wife to enjoy a similar indulgence, it left him guilt free.

This practice over the years had made the artist sexually incandescent to certain women. It made him behave in an invitational way, indicating that he was clearly available, even eager, to bed them, but would not do it. He was dangerous, and yet was unavailable, off-limits, safe. It did not hurt that he was a famous artist and handsome and healthy, a legendary adventurer and sportsman, a roistering world traveler with a loving family, leftist politics, and a lot of money. It did not hurt that he was the subject of much idle gossip. Certain women enjoyed having people think they were sleeping with Jordan Groves. The artist was aware of the source of his attractiveness to these women — he knew that his fantasies invoked theirs — and did nothing to discourage it.

Vanessa Von Heidenstamm had entered today’s dreamy narrative so vividly that she had displaced everyone else. It was as if all those other women Jordan Groves could have fallen in love with, had he only let himself make love to them, in a flash had been completely forgotten, erased from memory. This was different. In the past, whenever mundane reality intruded — as in the early arrival of Frances Jacques, his newly hired studio assistant — he could simply put his little story down without feeling frustrated or deprived, the fictional dimension of his life blending easily with ordinary reality. But no longer. Closing the book on Vanessa Von Heidenstamm, even temporarily, made him cross.

“What the hell are you doing here now!” he barked at the girl. “I told you to come at noon. You’re supposed to be here twelve to five, not eleven to four.”

Frightened and embarrassed, the girl stood in the doorway and wrung her hands. “I thought, it being the first day and all, I thought I’d get here early, you know, to kind of get used to where things were and all. Gosh, I’m sorry, Mr. Groves,” she said. “I’ll go away and come back later.” She was a local kid just out of high school, teachable, he had thought, though he’d been disappointed when she showed him the portfolio of awkward, amateurish drawings and paintings she’d made in art class. Not much talent there. But her teachers had spoken highly of her intelligence and character, and she seemed good natured and alert and physically strong, and besides, all she needed to do was keep the studio clean, take care of his tools and materials, stretch the occasional canvas, and when necessary pack and ship his work for him, most of which she could learn in a week. And she was from a poor family, the father jobless, the mother at home with four younger kids, and so on. That was in the girl’s favor. Her job would at least put food on the family’s table.

“No, forget it. Come in, I’ll get you started,” he said and waved her into the studio.

She was small but wiry, a farm kid used to physical labor. Her hair was a dark brown mass of thick curls, cut short more for ease of maintenance than appearance, and she wore no makeup or jewelry. She had dressed too carefully for the job, the artist noticed, like a secretary come to take dictation.

“Really, Mr. Groves, I’ll go away and come back later,” she practically pleaded.

He softened toward her then and smiled and apologized for being so grouchy. He liked her large dark eyes and rosy complexion and her sinewy forearms, unusual in a girl her age, and he wanted her to be happy and excited to be working for him. “Let’s start over,” he said. “Okay? You go back outside and knock on the door, and we’ll take it from there.”

Relieved, the girl smiled and did as she was told. She knocked, and the artist said, “Who’s there?”

“It’s me, Frances!”

“C’mon in, Frances!”

She opened the door and stepped inside, smiling broadly.

“Hey, Frances, good to see you. Came a little early, eh? To get the lay of the land before starting?”

“Y-yes. Is that all right? I can come back later if you like.”

“No, no, that’s fine. Usually I like to work alone till noon, but this morning I got in early myself. I was thinking of taking a break now anyhow.”

“Oh, that’s good!” she said, genuinely pleased and believing him.

“Before you do anything, though, you better get into some proper work clothes. I don’t want you to ruin that pretty dress.”

“Oh, dear. But…I didn’t bring anything else.”

“That’s all right. Go to the house, and tell my wife that I need her to loan you some overalls and a sweatshirt. She’s a bigger size than you, but it won’t matter. You can roll up the sleeves and cuffs.”

“She won’t mind? You’re sure?”

“Of course not, she’ll be delighted. It’s all boys around here, so she never gets to loan her stuff.”

Frances said, “Thank you, Mr. Groves,” and almost curtsied and quickly left the studio.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Jordan Groves returned to the story he had been telling himself when the girl had first knocked. He opened it at the page he’d marked. It was where he imagined Vanessa Von Heidenstamm sitting beside him on the sofa in the living room at Rangeview, the room lit by the golden light of the sun slipping behind the mountains across the lake. She places her glass down on the coffee table and looks up at him and says, “This must always be our secret, Jordan. We must never tell anyone that we have shown each other our scars….” He is unsure of his answer. What would he say if she said that? What scars?

FOLLOWING THE CLUB MANAGER’S MAP, VANESSA DROVE QUICKLY through the village of Tunbridge to the Flats, turned onto the rutted dirt lane known locally as Clarkson Road, and wound uphill toward Beede Mountain. It was a bright sunshiny day with white towers of cumulus clouds stacked at the western horizon. Halfway up the mountain, a narrower, rougher lane split off to the left, ending five hundred yards farther at a single-story log structure, more a cabin than a house, with a wide stone chimney at one end and an open porch across the front. The yard was potted with tree stumps, and most of the forest downhill from the house had been clear-cut, leaving heaps of brush and tree scruff for burning. The place resembled the forest home of an early American pioneer.

She was greeted by a large dog, a butterscotch Labrador that careened off the porch and charged the driver’s-side door of her car and stood there barking ferociously. Vanessa waved the dog off as if brushing away cobwebs and got out of the car. She ignored the dog, and it cringed and backed off and, with ears and tail lowered, went silent. Vanessa seemed not to notice its existence one way or the other. She walked past the animal and marched up the steps of the front porch, where she turned for a second and looked back at the entire Adirondack Great Range. It was a spectacular view of the mountains, running from Goliath and Sentinel all the way around to the south and then west to Mt. Marcy—180 degrees of unbroken wilderness, millions of forested acres spreading south and east almost to the suburbs of Albany and Utica. As she raised her hand to knock on the rough-hewn door, she glanced at the battered Model A Ford coupe parked next to the cabin, a large wooden box in its trunk converting the vehicle from a car to a pickup, and then saw and recognized, half hidden in the pines just beyond, Jordan Groves’s black Ford sedan.

Well, well, well, she thought.

She knocked on the door with freshened authority. The artist would be tempted to shove the guide aside and offer himself instead, she thought, once he saw her asking another man for help. Men were like that. She knocked a second time. Then called, “Hello! Hubert St. Germain! Are you there?”

The door opened a few inches and no farther. It was dark inside, but she could make out the guide’s somber, craggy face. His shirt was unbuttoned and his suspenders dangled at his sides, and he was tousled and unshaven, as if just awakened. “Hello, Miss Cole,” he said. “Sorry…I was doing something in back and must not’ve heard you right off.”

She said, “I’m sorry for coming unannounced. But I need to ask a very special favor of you, and it can’t wait. May I come in?” Placing her hand flat against the door, she pushed lightly, intending to speak with Hubert St. Germain, but only in the immediate presence of Jordan Groves.

Hubert pushed back from the other side. “Is something wrong up at the lake, Miss Cole?” he asked, his face nearly expressionless — unreadable to Vanessa, but not mysterious. For her, there was no mystery to the man. He was compact and muscular, like most of the guides, and of average height, his hands and neck darkly tanned. Vanessa had never really thought of him as someone with a life of his own and therefore had never thought of him as someone who was unknowable. For years he had merely been the coolly detached, competent, always available guide, efficient and attractively designed, like one of those fine Adirondack guide boats he built and handled more expertly than any but the old legendary guides from her grandfather’s day.

In the near darkness behind him she saw a silhouette of a person slip out of her line of sight into a bank of shadows deeper in the room. Hubert moved to come out onto the porch and close the door behind him.

“May I come inside?” Vanessa asked. The dog had followed her onto the porch and now stood beside her as if ready to escort her into the cabin. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but I do need to speak personally with you.” She wanted Jordan Groves to hear her plea and volunteer to help her in Hubert’s place, and she resented to a small degree the artist’s obvious avoidance of her. She intended to press herself on him, to make it impossible for him to ignore her specific need and rising desire. Confident since yesterday’s encounter at the camp that his need and desire matched hers, she felt entitled, even invited, to risk being rejected by him. He was trying to run from that fact, and she had no intention of letting him.

Hubert said, “It’s all a mess inside. We can talk out here on the porch. I…I’ve got a…,” he stammered uncomfortably.

Then a woman spoke from the darkness behind him. “I’m just leaving, if you want to have a private conversation,” she said, and suddenly, standing in the doorway beside the guide, was Alicia Groves. “Hello, Miss Von Heidenstamm,” the artist’s wife said and pushed past them onto the porch. The dog backed out of her way, but otherwise made no fuss over her presence. Clearly, the animal was used to her.

Vanessa stepped out of her way, too, and watched in silence as Alicia Groves crossed the porch, hurried down the stairs, and walked from the yard to the pine grove where the Ford sedan was parked. Alicia’s bright blond hair, Vanessa noticed, had been freshly brushed. Without looking back, Alicia got into the car and drove quickly down the hill and away.

Vanessa said to Hubert, “Well, I believe that now we can talk out here on the porch, if you like.”

The guide gazed down the slope to the bend in the rough lane where the car had disappeared behind a stand of spruce trees, almost as if he expected Alicia Groves to return. “What is it you want me to do for you, Miss Cole?” he said without looking at her.

JORDAN BROUGHT HIS AIRPLANE INTO THE RESERVE FROM THE west this time, cutting a wide arc to avoid the clubhouse and the First Lake altogether, flying instead above the forested spine of the Great Range and coming in low over the swampy headwaters of the Tamarack River, where, except for a few solitary mountain climbers, he was least likely to be seen. A mile north of Dr. Cole’s camp, he cut his speed as much as he dared and put the airplane into the water gently and taxied slowly along the shore. He anchored it in a shallow, protected inlet a mile or so above the beach where he had first seen Vanessa Von Heidenstamm. He came ashore there and went into the woods, making his way through low scrub alongside a small, rock-filled brook.

Soon the trees and brush thinned out, and he saw the roofs of the camp woodshed and the caretaker’s shack. Avoiding the open ground in front of the camp, he walked through tall pines toward the guest quarters and approached the main building from the side. He passed the big stone fireplace chimney and was a few feet from the steps leading up to the deck when he stopped suddenly and stood stock-still, as if to hear the breeze stroking the high branches of the pine trees.

This is crazy, he thought. I’m a goddamn lunatic doing this, coming out here in the middle of the afternoon. I’m like a hound chasing a bitch in heat. It was his first conscious thought since he’d put Frances Jacques in charge of the boys. Alicia was in town, he knew, doing her thrice-weekly volunteer work at the little medical center there and picking up groceries afterward and would be home by three or so. He’d told Frances to inventory all his tools and brushes and to let the boys help her. That way she would learn where everything was located in the studio and what it was called. Just as his own father had done when he was a small boy, Jordan had taught his sons the names of the tools of his trade. It was the first step toward teaching them the trade itself. He gave the girl a pad and pencil and said that if she found a tool or a piece of equipment that neither she nor the boys could name, she was to make a drawing of it, and he would tell her later what it was called. He wanted her to memorize the location and name of every tool he owned, so that he could be like a surgeon and she his nurse, and all he’d have to do was ask for a particular brush or chisel, and she’d place it in his hand. He instructed her to go through all the drawers and look on every shelf and into the cabinets. He had nothing to hide. No secrets, he told her. He wanted her as familiar with every square inch of the studio as he was. Today was tool day, he said. Tomorrow they would inventory materials. Then he had left the studio for the hangar and his airplane, and until this moment, when he found himself in the Reserve at the Second Lake and about to step up onto the deck of the late Dr. Cole’s camp, Rangeview, and quietly knock on the front door, he had no thoughts about what he was doing or why. He simply did it.

He realized that his silly sexual fantasy, not the woman herself, had gotten the best of him. Vanessa Von Heidenstamm was beautiful and provocative and intriguingly unpredictable, but she was flawed, terribly flawed, as if something inside her, a crucial, defining part of her mind, were permanently broken and made her dangerous to anyone foolish enough to get close to her. It wasn’t a matter of liking or disliking Vanessa Von Heidenstamm. You were magnetically attracted to her or you were repelled, and in his case it was both. He glanced down the slope in front of the camp to the glittering water and noticed that the guide boat was not there. So she was gone, then.

He searched the lake for a moment and saw only a deer with her fawn stepping cautiously from the woods on the far side to drink. A pair of loons floated offshore a ways, bobbing in the low waves, disappearing abruptly underwater, reappearing a minute later fifty yards farther on, and Jordan wondered if, like swans, loons mated for life. Then suddenly the artist felt very foolish. He felt foolish and exposed, like a lovesick adolescent boy caught standing below the window of an inaccessible woman, a nobleman’s young wife or daughter, and he merely the carpenter’s son. Turning, he walked back along the side of the main building of the camp and into the woods and made his way downstream along the brook to the inlet where he had anchored his airplane.

The new American flyers flew formation drills at Los Alcázares twice a day for a week. The rest of the time they amused themselves pitching coins with their Spanish mechanics, tossing five peseta pieces the size of silver dollars. The tall American, the one they called Rembrandt, mostly kept himself apart from the others and made drawings of the blond hills. Finally one morning in early February, after they had been checked out and approved by their Spanish commander and a Russian colonel, they were sent to Valencia aboard an old Fokker trimotor transport. The Fokker landed at a half-constructed airfield in Manises, just outside the city, shortly after noon, and the Americans took a taxi to the Hotel Ingles, where they dropped their luggage and strolled to the nearby Vodka Café. They went there to meet the other foreign pilots based in Valencia, men who had been in Spain most of the fall of ’36 and now the winter of ’37. They were Allison and Koch and Brenner from the United States, and the Englishmen, Fairhead, Papps, and Loverseed. The three new arrivals were known to each other by their nicknames, taken earlier when they’d first arrived in Los Alcázares — Whitey, because of his pale hair, Chang, because of his round face and flat features, and Rembrandt, because back in the States he was a well-known artist — but they introduced themselves to the veteran pilots by their last names instead, Richardson, Collins, and Groves, as if somehow here in Valencia where there was a war on, nicknames seemed frivolous. Groves, the artist, asked, What’ve they got us flying out of here? All we had in Los Alcázares were a couple of old Polish Cojo-Jovens. Real clunkers, barely held together with tape and baling wire. Fairhead, who was the squadron commander, smiled and said they’d be flying even older 1925 Breguet 19s. Groves scowled. Christ, that crate was obsolete the day it came out of the factory, he said. The Englishman laughed. Oh, you’ll get so you can squeeze enough out of it. It’ll always get you home. Or nearly always. Every airplane has its virtues, Groves. Like women. You just have to learn how to locate them. Their virtues, I mean. And then how to get the bloody most out of them. Do you read me, Groves? he asked. Do you read me? The Englishman seemed drunk, and the American didn’t answer. He moved away from the group and after a while left the café and went back to the hotel. The rest of the flyers kept drinking, and as the afternoon wore on they grew very loud and raucous, the veterans because they felt lucky to be still alive, the newcomers, Whitey and Chang, because they were afraid.