CHAPTER I

I was thirty years of age when I made the acquaintance of Violette.

I lived at the time on the fourth floor of a rather fine house in the Rue de Rivoli, just beneath rooms occupied by domestics and young girls employed in a linen drapery establishment on the ground floor under the arcades.

I was then on intimate terms with a very handsome and aristocratic lady. Her complexion was of that description which Theophile Gautier celebrates in his Emaux et Camees. Her hair was such as that with which Aeschylus adorns Electra's head and which compares to the fair corn of Argolide. But the lady had become rather too plump and stout at an early period of her career, and highly incensed at her premature embonpoint, displeased with herself and all the world, she worried all those who approached her, as if they should be made responsible for her misfortune.

As a consequence our intimacy went on the decline, and though I duly provided for all her wants and whims, I made no effort to bring into closer vicinity our respective bedchambers, situated at opposite ends of the suite of rooms. I had made choice of my own for the sake of the fine view on the Tuileries. I aspired already to be an author, and truly nothing can be finer, sweeter, more refreshing for a writer than the sight of this sombre mass of foliage formed by the ancient trees of the garden.

In summer the wood pigeons sport and frolic about the tall bough till twilight, when calm and silence begin to reign in their aerial abodes.

At ten o'clock the tattoo is heard and the gates are closed, and when the night is fine the moon slowly sails along the heavens, leaving its silvery track on the lofty tree tops.

Sometimes a light breeze makes the pale light tremble in the rustling leaves, which then seem to awaken, to live, and breathe of love and pleasure.

And by degrees, the noises of the big city grow more and more faint and distant to the ear which rests in the enjoyment of this delightful silence, while the eye gazes admiringly on the chateau and the dark, deep majestic masses of the huge trees. Often I would thus remain for hours at my window, dreaming and wrapped in thought.

What were the subjects of my dreams? I could hardly tell. I probably dreamt of what one dreams when one is thirty years of age; of love, of the women one has seen, and more often still, of those unseen as yet.

And in truth, are not the charms of the unknown fair ones the most potent of all?

There are men unfavoured by nature, whose hearts never thrill under a ray of sunlight. They live on as if in a kind of semi-darkness and accomplish as a duty, not as a joy, the act which is the supreme happiness of life, and which brings such rapture to the senses that if it lasted a minute instead of lasting five seconds it would kill even a Hercules.

These men in their passage through life, eat, drink and sleep; they indeed beget children, but they will never be able to say: “I have loved!” And surely is there anything worth living for, unless it be love?

I was wrapped in one of those dreams which have neither horizon nor limits, in which heaven and earth are mingled; I had just heard the bell in the neighbouring clock tower chime two o'clock, when I thought I heard a knock at my door. But perhaps I was mistaken, so I listened. The knock was repeated. Wondering who could come to visit me at this unwonted hour I ran to the door and opened it.

A young girl, almost a child slipped in and said:

“Oh, let me take refuge here, monsieur, I beseech you!”

I motioned her to be silent and softly shut the door. I then encircled her waist to my arm and took her to my bedroom. There I was enabled to have a view of the bird just escaped from its cage and which had flown to me for protection.

My supposition was correct; it was indeed a lovely girl, barely fifteen, straight and pliant as a reed, though her form already showed signs of womanhood.

I placed my hand on her bosom by chance, and I felt a living globe as firm as marble.

The mere contact sent a thrill through my veins. There are indeed women who have received from nature the fascinating gift of exciting sensual desires at the slightest touch.

“How frightened I was!” she murmured.

“Really?”

“Oh yes! How fortunate that you were not yet in bed!”

“And what was the cause of that great fright?”

“Monsieur Beruchet.”

“Who is this Monsieur Beruchet?”

“The husband of the seamstress with whom I worked below.”

“And pray tell me, what did this Monsieur Beruchet do to you?”

“But you will keep me all night, will you not?”

“I shall keep you as long as you like. It is not my custom to turn pretty girls out of doors.”

“Oh, I am only a little girl. I am not a pretty girl.”

“Well! well!” I gave a look at her bosom and what I saw through the half-opened chemise gave me reason to think she was not such a little girl as all that.

“Tomorrow, at break of day, I must go!” she murmured softly.

“And where will you go?”

“To my sister's.”

“Your sister-and where does she live?”

“No. 4 Rue Chaptal.”

“Your sister lives in the Rue Chaptal?”

“Yes, on the first floor. She has two rooms and will lend me one.”

“And tell me, what is your sister doing in the Rue Chaptal?”

“She works for milliners' shops. Monsieur Ernest helps her.”

“Is she older than you?”

“Yes, two years older.”

“What is her name?”

“Marguerite.”

“And what is yours?”

“Violette.”

“It seems that in your family they were partial to the names of flowers.”

“Oh yes, Mamma did like them so!”

“Is your mamma no more?”

“No, Monsieur.”

“What was her name?”

“Rose.”

“Well, they did like the names of flowers! And your father?”

“Oh, he is quite well.”

“And what is his trade?”

“He is a keeper at the gates of Lille.”

“What is his name?”

“Rouchat.”

“But I perceive that I have been asking you questions for an hour, and I have not enquired of you why Monsieur Beruchet frightened you so?”

“Because he always tried to kiss me.”

“You don't say so!”

“He followed me everywhere, and I never dared to go without a light into the back shop, because I was always sure of finding him there.”

“Then you did not like him to kiss you?”

“Oh, not at all!”

“And why were you displeased so?”

“Because he is so ugly, and then I thought he did not only want to kiss me.”

“But what did he want else?”

“I don't know.”

I looked at her to see whether she wasn't making fun of me. But I perceived from her innocent look, that she was perfectly in earnest.

“Well, then, what did he do, besides kissing you?”

“He came up to my room yesterday when I was in bed; at least I think it was he, and he tried to open my door.”

“Did he say anything?”

“No, but during the day, he said: 'Do not shut your door as you did yesterday, little one, I have something of importance to tell you.'“

“And you locked your door all the same.”

“Oh, yes I did. More securely than ever.”

“Did he come?”

“Yes, he did come. He tried all he could to open the door. He tapped and tapped; then he knocked louder. Then he said 'It is I, little Violette'. You may well imagine that I gave no reply. I was shaking with fright in my bed. The more he said, 'It is I', the more he called me darling Violette, the more I put my blanket over my head. At last after waiting at least half an hour, he went away grumbling.”

“All day he looked sulky so that I was in hopes he would leave me alone tonight. I was half undressed, as you see me, when I thought of bolting the door. But the bolt had been taken off during the day and there was no lock there; so, without losing a moment I ran off and knocked at your door. Oh! how lucky I did so!” And the child threw her arms around my neck.

“So you're not frightened of me?”

“Oh, no!”

“And if I wished to kiss you, would you run away?”

“See now,” said she, and she applied her humid and fresh mouth to my parched lips.

I could not help keeping my lips on hers for a few seconds while I caressed her teeth with the tip of my tongue. She closed her eyes and leaned her head backwards, saying: “Oh, how nice, is that kind of kiss!”

“You've never been kissed that way?” I inquired.

“No,” she said, passing her tongue over her burning lips. “Is it the usual way?”

“Yes, when you love the person.”

“Then, you do love me?”

“If I am not yet in love with you I am afraid I soon shall be.”

“Just like me!”

“So much the better!”

“And what do people do who love one another?”

“They exchange kisses as we just have done.”

“Is that all?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that is funny. It seemed to me I wished for something else; as if this kiss, however sweet it may be, were only the beginning of love.”

“What did you feel?”

“I cannot say; a kind of languid sensation in all my body. A pleasure such as I have experienced sometimes in dreams.”

“And when you awoke after these dreams, how did you feel?”

“I was quite exhausted.”

“Did you never have that sensation except in a dream?”

“Yes, indeed, just now, when you kissed me.”

“Am I then the first man who ever kissed you?”

“In that way, you are. My father often kissed me, but it was not at all the same thing.”

“Then you are still a virgin?”

“Virgin, what does that mean?”

Evidently, from her tone she was sincere!”

I took pity, or rather I felt respect for that innocence which then put itself so entirely at my mercy. It seemed as if it were a crime to rob her of that sweet treasure, which she unconsciously possessed, and which, when once given away, is lost forever.

“And now let us talk seriously, my dear girl,” I said, releasing her from my embrace.

“Oh, you are not going to send me away, surely?”

“No, I am too happy to have you here.” Then, after a pause: “Listen,” I said, “this is what we are going to do. We will go and fetch your clothes.”

“Very well, and where shall I go?”

“That's my business. First of all let us go to your room.”

“And Monsieur Beruchet?”

“It is probable that he has left, for it is nearly three o'clock in the morning.”

“What shall we do in my room?”

“We will take away all your things.”

“And then?”

“And then I shall take you with your little luggage to a room in town, whence you will write to Monsieur Beruchet a letter which I shall dictate. Are you willing?”

“Oh, I shall do as you bid me.”

How charming this confidence of innocence and youth! The darling girl, she would certainly have done all I bade her, there and then.

We went up to the lockless room, and put her scanty belongings into a carpetbag.

Violette finished dressing herself, we came downstairs, and, as there were no cabs about, we set out arm in arm, as happy and light-hearted as two school chums, repaired to the Rue Saint Augustin, where I kept a room for a night's debauch when I felt so inclined.

An hour later I was home again, without having tried to make further progress in my amours with Violette.

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