The Rose Without a Thorn

Secret Lovers

IT WAS JULY when we set out. It was not a very happy journey. The King was in an ill mood, because the knowledge that some of his subjects could revolt against him depressed him. He wanted jubilation and expressions of affection wherever he went. In his youth he had been handsome, strong, in sports excelling all others: now it was obvious to everyone that he was no longer so. He often needed a stick to support him, or an arm to lean on. His leg was often painful, and I believed it was most unsightly beneath the bandages. He had lost his once healthy color and his skin was tinged purple, his face bloated. It was small wonder that he needed a young wife to delude him into thinking he himself was young too. That was my task, and I believed I performed it well. I might have been unlearned, far from agile with the pen, in complete ignorance of the classics, but I did understand the physical needs of men, and I was able to partake in these exercises with an acceptable skill. He told me that, while God had seen fit to plague him with some miserable and ungrateful subjects, he had at least blessed him with a good and loving wife.

There was heavy rain in Lincolnshire, which resulted in heavy flooding. Travel was impossible for two or more weeks. This delayed our journey and all through the month of July we made very little progress.

It was late August when we arrived in Pontefract. Henry was eager to meet the King of Scotland, which was the main reason for the journey. I had been rather depressed by the reception we had received on the way. There had been lavish entertainments for us, and rich gifts for the King, but I guessed this was due rather to fear than affection.

Henry was not displeased with it though. Had he not come to achieve their submission? They fêted him because they feared him, and subjects should firstly be in awe of their King.

Because of the delays, he had gone off ahead to York with a few important men in the company, and I stayed behind in Pontefract.

It was here that I received a visitor.

I stared in amazement when Jane Rochford brought him in to me.

“Francis!” I cried.

He bowed low. It was Derham.

I was overcome with mixed emotions. This was due to the sight of him, as handsome as ever, a little more distinguished. He had grown older. He had had stirring adventures, I was sure. He was indeed a man.

I noticed Jane lurking by the door, her eyes alight with excitement, and I said: “You may leave us, Lady Rochford.”

With a disappointed and reproachful look, she obeyed.

Derham said: “Your Majesty is well, I perceive … and more beautiful than ever.”

“What are you doing here?” I demanded.

“Craving the indulgence of Your Majesty, and begging her to tell me in what way I can serve her best.”

“You should not have come here.”

“Where else can I serve Your Majesty? I have heard that Mistress Bulmer is in your service with Mistress Tylney, and Henry Manox has joined the musicians. You are surrounded by old friends, so I thought I could serve as her secretary. She will have need of those whom she can trust to serve her well.”

He was appealing; he was very handsome, and I could believe that the love he had once borne me still existed. I could hear my grandmother’s words. He would always serve me, he would always love me. I believed she was right. He would always act for my good. Sometimes I felt lost in this Court. It seemed that people were watching for me to make mistakes—I fancied some of them looked at me critically, though they dared not put their feelings into words. Yes, it would be good to trust those around me: and I could trust Francis Derham.

Playing for time, I said: “You have had adventures since we last met.”

“Many,” he replied.

“Did you make your fortune?”

“To some extent.”

“Breaking the law?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “It is not always easy to keep within it.”

“On the high seas?”

“’Tis as good a place as any.”

“I think you are a very reckless man, Francis Derham.”

“I would be as reckless as was necessary in the service of Your Majesty.”

“Thank you.”

“And,” he went on, “I’ll warrant there is one thing Your Majesty lacks.”

And what is that?”

“A good secretary.”

“I know I was never happy with the pen, but I have improved.”

“You still need that one who understands what you really mean to say.”

I smiled. He wanted so much to be at Court. He was still devoted to me. He always had been and he was a faithful man. He had gone away to save me as much as himself.

I was reckless. Why did I not think before I made these rash decisions? There was a great charm in Derham. My grandmother had been aware of it, too. Had she not said he would give his life for me if need be? I had nothing to fear from Derham.

So … I gave way and Derham came to Court as my secretary.

We arrived in Lincoln, where we were to stay a few nights. The King and his advisers were still not with us.

It was late in the evening when Jane Rochford rapped on my door. I bade her enter, and she was not alone. I started up, in a state of great excitement, for with her was Thomas Culpepper.

“Your Majesty,” said Jane. “The hour is late, but Master Culpepper was insistent.”

“Yes, yes. What is it?”

Thomas bowed. “May I speak alone with Your Majesty?”

Jane glanced at me, bowed and went out.

“Thomas!” I cried, when she had gone. “Why have you come at this hour?”

“It was the only time for seeing you in secret. It is important. None knows that I am here save Lady Rochford, and I believe she is your close attendant.”

“That is so. Thomas …”

He took a step toward me and suddenly put his arms round me, holding me tightly.

“No … no, no!” I cried, yet clung to him.

We remained thus for a few seconds, and I knew that to be with him was what I wanted more than anything.

Then I remembered what had happened to me since I was last with him and I knew that this was the most foolish thing we could do. I imagined what would happen if we were discovered. The King would never forgive me, and Thomas … I shivered. It must stop at once.

I drew sharply away from him.

“Why are you here?” I cried. “Why have you come?”

“I came because it was necessary to speak to you at once. I could think of no other way. If I were seen speaking to you about the Court, it would be remarked on immediately. I dare not … for your sake, Katherine.”

“What is it of such moment that you must come like this?”

“You do not realize that you are in danger. Katherine, you are the King’s wife.”

“He would kill you if he were to find you here.”

“I know. But I had to see you in secret, and I could think of no other way—I know Lady Rochford is your close friend. I had to trust her. Only she knows I am here. I came by way of a secret stair. Katherine, there are whispers about you. There was that priest at Windsor. He talked of your past life.”

“That was no whispering. It was said aloud, and it came to nothing.”

“It is not forgotten. There is talk here in the Court. They are whispering of the life you led before you came to Court. They are saying you are unchaste, Katherine. Do you not realize the danger of this? And now you have let Francis Derham into your Court! He is the last one who should be here. Why did you do that?”

“He came and asked. He wanted it so much. Our friendship is over. He knew that. I have told him so.”

“But he is here! People will talk of it. You have others of the Duchess’s household with you. Do you think they will remain quiet? And when I heard that Derham was here …”

“Derham would never say a word against me.”

“That may be so. He is an honorable man, I believe. But he is here!”

“I cannot send him away.”

“Nay. Perhaps it would cause more talk if you did. I have come here because I had to speak to you. I know you well, my dearest Katherine, and I know you have not always been aware of the scheming people about you. But now you are the Queen … do you not see?”

“Do you think people will listen to the whispers? The King did not believe the priest of Windsor.”

“It is not only the whispers. Katherine, you are so innocent. There is this conflict throughout the realm. It will remain while the Church is divided. There will always be those ardent Catholics who deplore the break with Rome and those who want to join the Protestant League. There are some who regard you as the puppet of the Catholics, and Queen Anne stands for the Protestants. They want her back and would do anything to remove you. Not only that. There are Cranmer, Audley and the Seymours against the faction led by your uncle, the Duke of Norfolk. You have become a figurehead in the Court and are no longer in command of your own destiny. You are used by scheming and powerful men. You must understand these things.”

“I do not understand. Nothing has been said to me of religion.”

He smiled at me tenderly. “Of a surety, none would say aught to you of these matters. You are as innocent as a child. That is why you do not realize the danger in which you stand. It is an amazement to me that your uncle has not warned you.”

“It is some time since I have seen my uncle. We are not on good terms.”

“But you should be. This is very strange. If your uncle is not working for you, might it be that he stands with your enemies?”

“Thomas, it is because you love me that you see this danger. The King shows me nothing but kindness. I am certain that he would never allow any of them to say a word against me.”

“All I know is that the King is very pleased with you now, but his moods can change quickly. We have seen it with another. There was one time when none could doubt his love for her, and then it changed to hatred.”

“You are frightening me, Thomas.”

“It is the last thing I would do. All I ask is that you take care. That is why I have risked so much to come to you at this hour.”

“I think you are unduly worried. It is because you love me … and I am glad you came.”

“I have seen so little of you since you came to Court. I have deliberately done this, for I could not trust myself, caring for you as I did.”

“Oh, Thomas … I wish you had not kept away.”

“I tell you, I could not trust myself. I knew how it would be if we were together.”

“Yet you came here … to my private apartment …”

“It was necessary. I had to warn you. I had to be with you somewhere where we could be alone. Take heed of what I say, Katherine, I beg of you.”

“I would always take heed of you, my love.”

Then his arms were about me. I was no stranger to passion, and I knew he was desperately fighting a losing battle in his attempts at restraint—and so was I.

This was Thomas, my true love, the man whom I should have married and with whom I should have lived in perfect harmony for ever after. I was more mature now and my senses were more demanding than ever. Neither Thomas nor I could hold back the flood of passion and desire which swept over us. I cared for nothing but their fulfillment. We knew the danger in which we were placing ourselves, but we persisted.

I drew him through to my bedchamber.

“Katherine,” he said. “I care not what happens after.”

And I answered: “Nor I.”

It was several hours later when he left. Jane Rochford was still up. She was smiling when she came into my bedchamber. She glanced meaningfully at the bed.

“So,” she said, “my lord has gone.”

“We had much to discuss,” I replied.

“What a handsome gentleman!” she murmured. “I doubt there is one to match him in the Court. There is no doubt of his feeling for you.”

“Was it noticeable?”

She nodded, her eyes bright with mischief.

“It was a mercy,” she said, “that none of the others were here. After I had brought him to you, I made a point of seeing them and telling them that you had retired. I said I would summon them if they were needed.”

“Thank you, Jane.”

She smiled at me conspiratorially. “Your Majesty, if the gentleman should have cause to visit you again, may I suggest that it might be more convenient to receive him in my room? It is easily reached from yours by that pair of steps and is closer to yours than any. If the need arose … it would be a simple matter to slip back to your own room.”

I looked at her in amazement and said sharply: “He came with a special message of great urgency, Lady Rochford. It is not likely that he will come again.”

She bowed her head. “A thousand pardons for my forwardness, Your Majesty. I wished you to know that, if ever you need my services, they are at your command.”

“I know your good intentions, but it is unlikely that the gentleman will have cause to visit me again.”

Jane bowed her head and looked humble, but her excitement outweighed her humility.

The King had rejoined us. He was in good spirits. In spite of this, he seemed very old to me. It must have been because I was comparing him with Thomas. I had not stopped thinking of Thomas since that night in Lincoln when he had come to me. How I loved Thomas! How I longed for him!

Strangely enough, I did not feel as guilty as I supposed I should. I had had no choice. I had been forced into this marriage. If I could have chosen between a comparatively humble life as Thomas’s wife at Hollingbourne and my royal state, I would not have hesitated for a moment. It would have been Hollingbourne for me.

But there had been no choice, and I had done the best I could. I had made the King happy. If it were ever known what had happened, I knew what my fate would be. Had I not seen it come to pass before? I did not really believe that my cousin had been guilty. It had never been proved. But the verdict the King wanted had been given, her fate decided; and I was guilty.

But who need ever know? Thomas would not tell. Nor would I.

If I had made the King happy, could I be blamed? I had certainly pleased him. I was pleasing him now. I tried even more than I had before because of what had happened. It was not in my nature to concern myself with trouble which had not yet come. I could be even more loving with Henry because I could delude myself into thinking he was Thomas; and Henry was more delighted than ever with his Queen.

We arrived in York, where Henry was to meet the King of the Scots, and, to his fury, a deputation arrived from Scotland with the news that the King would be unable to keep the appointment.

Henry’s rage was great. The journey had been arranged, in the first place, with the express purpose of this meeting, and now his Scottish nephew was acting in a very arrogant manner. It was most humiliating. He had a false notion of his own importance if he thought his petty little kingdom could so flout its mighty neighbor.

People were afraid to approach him. I was the only one for whom he had a gentle word; he needed a great deal of soothing, and I performed that duty admirably.

Perhaps it was inevitable that, having taken the first step, Thomas and I found the temptation to take more irresistible.

There were occasions when the King was away on state business and Thomas contrived that he stay behind, and it was only to be expected that we take advantage of this.

I realized, of course, that Jane Rochford knew what had happened in Lincoln, and there was no sense in trying to hide it—particularly as I needed her help.

Jane was very sympathetic.

“Indeed,” she said. “Thomas Culpepper loves you, and there is no doubt that you love him. He is young and handsome and you were betrothed to him once.”

“No, Jane, I was not really. There was only talk of it.”

“Well, there would have been a betrothal. I can see no harm … as long as no one knows.” Her eyes sparkled. “Now we shall have to go carefully. We do not want any of the women prying. And why should they? If we are careful, we shall outwit them. If you use my room, I shall remain in yours. If by any chance one of them should come to your chamber, I would be there and should be able to hold them off until I could reasonably bring you back to your chamber.”

“Do you think that could be done satisfactorily?”

“Your Majesty, we will make it so. It is a good plan. I will take a message to Master Culpepper. I will tell him how he can come up the backstairs where I shall be waiting for him. I shall bring him to you and there shall be none to see him but ourselves.”

We were excited by the plan. I was sure Thomas was too, and once it had been put to us, we would be ready to incur any risk, so anxious were we to be together.

Jane was such a ready conspirator, as anxious—or almost—to bring about the meetings as we were. It was the sort of adventure she loved to take part in.

I remember one occasion well. We were at Lincoln again, and the King was riding off to a nearby meeting at the house of one of his loyal friends some distance away, so that he would spend two nights there. For the first night the plan worked, but on the second, as I was going up to Jane Rochford’s room, two of the ladies-in-waiting came unexpectedly to my room. They were Katherine Tylney and another, called Margaret Morton.

They looked surprised, and I felt it would be wise to give them some explanation. I told them I was going to Lady Rochford. I should have dismissed them, but I hesitated and they came with me to Jane’s room.

Jane looked amazed to see them, but she could say nothing, and I knew that she was uneasy, for she was about to go and meet Thomas to bring him up to me.

She was flashing a signal to me to get rid of the women, so I told them that I should not need any of them as I was not quite ready to retire and just wished to have a little private conversation with Lady Rochford before doing so.

They immediately retired but probably thought it rather strange.

When they left, Jane laughed.

“I feared Your Majesty would keep them here to meet the gallant gentleman,” she said.

It seemed rather amusing, although it had given me an uneasy moment. I am afraid I was not good at thinking quickly in such a dilemma. But when Thomas arrived, the little mishap was quickly forgotten.

The next night that the King was absent, I made sure the ladies were dismissed early.