The sea devil's eye

XXV

27 Marpenoth, the Year of the Gauntlet

"Are ye sure we'll find the swabbie here?" Khlinat Iron-eater asked. He sat in the saddle of a seahorse they'd borrowed from the sea elves, and shaded his eyes against the morning sun with one hand. "That ship has surely seen some better days, I'm thinking."

Seated on a seahorse as well, Pacys nodded, feeling his heart race as he neared the boy he'd searched for. The hero's song played in his head, making his fingers itch for the yarting slung across his back in a waterproof bag.

"He's here," Pacys assured the dwarf.

A guard of twenty sea elf warriors rode with them as the seahorses cut across the ocean's surface. The ship's crew had already seen them and hurried across the decks to get into defensive positions.

"Well, and they're surely promising a heated welcoming if we're the wrong 'uns," Khlinat said.

"We're not."

Pacys guided his mount toward the ship, the seahorse straining only a little to catch up to it. When he drew abreast of the caravel, he found himself looking up at half a dozen bowmen with only tattered mercy and trust left in their souls.

"State your business and be quick about it,"7 a woman dressed in black ordered from the railing.

Tin here to see Jherek," Pacys called up.

"How do you know him?"

Tin Pacys the Bard. I'm a friend."

The woman glanced at the sea elves. "We haven't seen too many friends lately," she said, "and damn few of them promise to come from under the sea."

"Lady-" Pacys began.

"Captain." The woman's voice was unrelenting.

"As you will, Captain. As Oghma is my patron, I'm only here in Jherek's best interest." Pacys kept his voice loud to be heard over the slap of the waves breaking against the ship's bow and the whip-crack of the canvas pulling tight in the rigging. "I know that he's wasting away, unable to control the darkness trying to consume his soul. I promise you, if you don't let me come aboard and speak to him, you're going to lose him. We'll all lose him."

A bearded warrior stepped forward and said, "Let him come aboard, Captain. He's speaking the truth."

The ship's captain hesitated.

Td know if he was lying," the warrior said.

The captain nodded to her crew. They put away their bows and dropped a cargo net over the side, leaving it caught up at the top.

"Climb on," the captain said. "We'll pull you up."

Jherek sat beside Sabyna's bed, his forearms resting heavily on his bent knees, his forehead pressed against them. He held her hand, hot daring to let it go, afraid she might drift away from him in her sleep.

Glawinn continued using his power on her daily, but there were no healing potions left. Now, every day, the ship's mage lost ground. Her wounds festered, growing larger, taking her away from him a piece at a time.

The young sailor was ragged and unkempt. Not an hour passed that he didn't feel pain-hers as well as his. He ignored the knock on the door, not wanting to deal with

Glawinn trying to get him to eat or leave. If he had kept his distance from Sabyna, she would have been fine, but he'd returned.

"Young warrior," Glawinn spoke softly, "someone has come to see you."

"No." Jherek knew he was being petulant, but he'd had enough of looking at other people.

"Jherek."

The musical voice captured the young sailor's attention, striking a chord deep within him. He found it immediately uncomfortable. "Go away."

"I can't. I've waited all my life to meet you."

Shamed by his own lack of manners, knowing Glawinn wouldn't think well of him either, Jherek pushed himself to his feet and opened the door. It took him a moment to recognize the two men standing beside Glawinn. He'd met both of them the night Iakhovas and the pirates attacked Baldur's Gate.

"Hail and well met," the old man said.

His clothes were wet, almost dripping, and he smelled of the sea. He offered his hand.

"You're the bard," Jherek said, his tired mind wandering through all the memories. He clasped the old man's arm.

The bard bowed and said, "Pacys."

The resonance continued in Jherek but he still didn't understand where it came from.

"Hail and well met, swabbie," the dwarf greeted him good-naturedly.

"Khlinat."

Seeing the dwarf sailor standing there brought the beginnings of a smile to Jherek's lips. He took Khlinat's arm and felt the powerful grip.

"Hear tell ye've been betwixt some proper demons' brews since these old eyes last seen ye."

Jherek nodded quietly and glanced back at Sabyna. "It's been far harder than anything I could have imagined."

"This is the one who holds your heart?" the old bard asked.

Pacys glided into the room, in motion before Jherek even knew it. He stood by her bed and trailed his fingers across her feverish brow.

Jherek didn't know how to respond. Sabyna never had the chance to let him know her mind after he'd revealed who he was.

The look in your eyes is all the answer I need," Pacys said softly. The love you share is a powerful thing."

Tears clouded Jherek's vision but he didn't let them fall. He spoke through a too-tight throat. "As it turns out, I wasn't the man she thought I was."

"On the contrary, my boy," the old bard said, "it's you who aren't the man you think you are."

"Can you help her?" Jherek had put off the question because he'd been afraid of the answer.

Sadly, Pacys shook his head. "No. The young lady lies beyond any help I might give her."

Jherek tried to will himself into a state of numbness but couldn't. The resonance within him that the bard's presence elicited wound him up inside.

"You should go," Jherek said.

"I can't. I was sent here to find you and to help you."

Jherek shook his head. The only way you can help me is to help her."

"You don't know all there is yet."

The old man took the waterproof bag from his shoulder and opened it. He sat on the floor of the small cabin.

"What are you doing?" Jherek demanded.

Pacys's practiced fingers brushed the strings lightly. He twisted the knobs at the end of the instrument, adjusting the string tension. When he brushed the strings again, creating a mellow note that seemed to fill the room with light and warmth, he smiled and said, "Blessed Oghma, after being under the sea for so long and not able to practice, I thought I might have lost the gift."

"You have to go," Jherek said sternly, unable to believe the audacity of the bard.

Pacys effortlessly played a tune. It was soft and quiet, melding the gentleness of a stream running over smooth rocks and the sight of the wind through winter's bare tree branches.

"Music is a balm," the old bard said. "Let me play to her that I might ease her mind for a while."

"You said you couldn't help her."

"I can't, but I can ease the pain she suffers from."

Pacys nodded toward the unconscious woman. His fingers whispered across the strings, coaxing soothing notes that filled the room. Turning, Jherek saw that Sabyna's face appeared more relaxed than it had in days.

"Will that be all right then?" Pacys asked.

"Aye."

Jherek returned to the bed and took a fresh compress from the pitcher, then gently wiped Sabyna's face. He sat, the resonance within his chest unfaltering.

"She's very pretty," the old bard said.

"Aye." Jherek slumped forward, trying to find a way to be comfortable.

"I'd like to hear how you met her."

"It's a long story."

The old bard smiled and said, "Actually, those are my favorite kind."

At first, Jherek wasn't going to speak, but there was something about the music that loosened his tongue. It changed subtly, though he couldn't point to exactly what the change was. So he began with how he met Sabyna on Breezerunner. Of course, that meant dredging up everything that happened at Velen. Pacys asked how Jherek happened to be there, which meant explaining about Bloody Falkane.

He also mentioned the voice that haunted him all his life and the cryptic message it gave him: Live, that you may serve. As the music played, he realized that there were only the three of them in the room. He couldn't remember when the others left. He didn't remember ever talking so much in his life.

Even when Jherek finished speaking, Pacys continued playing. The tune was different from when he started hours ago. Khlinat brought a plate of food, but the old bard turned it away, as did the young sailor. When Pacys finally stopped playing only the sound of Sabyna's ragged breathing filled the room. The weight of it almost broke Jherek.

"It seems," the old bard said, showing no signs of discomfort after sitting on the floor for hours, "that you have searched everywhere you might for help for the young lady except one."

"What?"

The old bard's hazel eyes flickered with reflections from the lantern hanging on the wall.

"All your life," the bard told him, "you've had a benefactor who has looked out for you."

"The voice?"

"Yes."

"I never knew who that was."

"Perhaps it's time to ask."

Jherek put another compress on Sabyna's fevered brow and said, "I did ask."

"When you were on Black Champion, following Vurgrom."

"Aye. I asked, and I got no answer."

"Perhaps that wasn't the time. Perhaps you were supposed to wait a while longer."

"Why?"

The old bard shrugged. "I don't know how these things work, my boy," he said. "Faith in the gods is like a good song. You must wait to have everything revealed. You can try to force it to happen, but a song, and that faith, has its own time and place."

"But I had a faith."

"You could have already been spoken for at the time you sought out the Crying God."

"Spoken for?" Jherek echoed incredulously. "By a god?"

"Priests are called to serve their gods," the old bard said softly. "That call is undeniable. I've had friends who were good bards and artists who worked with passion at their craft only to be called into service of one of the gods."

The young sailor changed the compress again, thinking hard. Everything he thought forced him to the same conclusion. "I'm no priest."

"No, I never thought you were." Pacys began playing again, and this time the tune was a little faster, more uplifting than calming. "Remember in Baldur's Gate when Khlinat lay wounded? It seemed as if the wound might even prove fatal. Yet, you laid your hands on him and he was healed."

"It was the necklace he wore."

"No," Pacys said. "I've handled magical things in my time. That necklace holds no magic."

"It could have been used up saving his life. He even believed it saved him."

"Khlinat doesn't believe that now," Pacys said softly.

The whole idea confused Jherek. ''You think I somehow saved him?"

"Yes." Pacys found another chord, and the resonance within the young sailor's chest felt stronger, more sure. "Why did Malorrie teach you?"

"I don't know."

"You said that someone pointed him in your direction."

"Aye." Jherek felt as though the room was closing in on him.

"And Madame Iitaar, whom you respect and love, told you there was a destiny ahead of you."

Jherek sat quietly and still, wanting only to deny everything the old bard said.

"Look at your whole life, my boy. Have you ever raised a hand against another with malice in your heart?"

Jherek thought back to the bar fight in Athkatla. "Aye. Against Aysel from Breezerunner's crew."

"The man who insulted Sabyna's honor?" Pacys smiled. "Why, Jherek, I could expect nothing less from such as you."

"Such as me? What do you think I am?"

Pacys shook his head. "It's not what I think," he said. "When you needed the astrolabe from the diviner at the Pirate Isles and you were asked what you believed in, what was your answer?"

"Love," Jherek whispered, looking at Sabyna and feeling like he was about to fall apart. He grew angry with the bard for speaking in such a circumspect way.

"How can you believe in love after the way you were brought up?"

"Because it was shown to me by Madame Iitaar and Malorrie, then by old Finaren, captain of Butterfly."

"A phantom with a geas laid on him?" Pacys asked. "A lonely widow woman who could use a strong back and a pair of hands around her house to fix it up? A ship's captain who let you go once it was discovered you were one of Bloody Falkane's claimed? What could these people know of love? How can you trust their motives?"

Jherek shook his head. "Say what you will, but they loved me when no one else did."

"And you gave them love back."

"Aye," the young sailor said, "all that I had. Only to be driven from them."

"For a reason," Pacys said softly "There were things you had to learn!" He glanced at Sabyna and said, "Perhaps a new love to be found."

"Only to have those taken from me because I was cursed the day I was born?"

"I've seen the love Glawinn has for you," Pacys said. "The man has laid his life on the line for you."

"He was only serving Lathander, who guided him to help save the disk I pridefully took in Baldur's Gate."

"You were meant to have that disk."

"I didn't have it, and it was used to kill all those people on the Whamite Isles."

"Perhaps they were forfeit anyway," Pacys said. "So the best was done that could be, and the disk saw you to that sword."

"It's not mine."

"Yet I've been told no hand may comfortably hold it but yours."

Jherek couldn't argue; it was true. Others in Azla's crew tried to hold the sword but none of them could do it, or even wanted to, for any length of time.

"The Great Whale Bard sought you out and gave you a gift."

Jherek looked at the old bard and said, "All these things you say are true, but I can't make any sense of them." "They were a path, my boy," Pacys said softly. "A path that led you here, to this time and this place." "To do what?"

"What you were born to do. Battle the Taker." Jherek couldn't help it; he laughed. The sound was bitter and insane and rude, but he couldn't help himself.

Fatigue and pain had broken down his self-discipline, made it impossible to keep all those feelings to himself. "It is your fate," Pacys said. "Even the whales told you so."

"Don't you see?" Jherek asked. "It's a mistake. Another part of that ill luck that has followed me. It's just my misfortune, and yours, that you're here wasting your time when you should be with this hero you're looking for."

"You've already faced the Taker once," Pacys said, "in the caverns. You wounded him, survived his attempt to kill you with the buckler given to you by the Great Whale Bard. Iakhovas is the Taker."

"He was just a mage."

"No."

The firm denial shook Jherek, brought him back under control a little. He sobered and looked at the bard. "What you're saying is impossible," he insisted.

"What I'm saying," Pacys stated, "could be no other way. You are the champion that these times call for."

"I'm a sailor."

"And more."

Jherek shook his head.

"It's true," Pacys said. "Every step you took, every decision you made, has brought you to here and now."

"I've brought only bad luck to everyone I know," Jherek said. "Madame Iitaar probably lost business in Velen after it was found out that she was harboring one of Bloody Falkane's pirates. Finaren probably lost work as well."

"You don't know that," Pacys said. "Even if it's true, you could change all that by becoming what you're meant to be."

"And what is that?"

Pacys eyed him again and stopped playing. "Ask."

"I have asked."

"Not me."

"Then who?"

"The voice that has been with you all those years."

Jherek shook his head and felt empty inside. "I've not heard it in months."

"And you think it is gone?"

"Aye. Don't you see? Even if what you were saying was somehow true, I've already broken faith with the voice."

"Ask," Pacys said gently.

"How can you be so certain?"

"How can you be so uncertain?"

Jherek looked at the bard incredulously. "Have you not listened to what I've told you?"

"Oh yes. Even better, it seems, than you have. Ask."

"I have asked."

"Ask now."

"If the voice cared whether Sabyna lived or died, it wouldn't have allowed her to be infected by the bite of the drowned ones.''

"And you would never have had a reason to search so deeply within yourself these past few days. Ask, Jherek. The truth is the tonic you need."

Anger gripped the young sailor. The old bard dangled false hope like fat fruit hanging on the vine. "Fine," he said. "And after I do, I want you to leave."

Pacys ignored Jherek's anger, keeping his voice soft. "Ask, Jherek." The old bard put the yarting down, then rolled to his knees. "Ask properly, and with respect, as you would ask one of those you love."

Seeing the old bard's belief brought stinging tears to Jherek's eyes. How could anyone believe what the man said after everything he'd been told. Why did the bard's words have to ring so true? Angry with himself, so scared of the final denial he was about to experience, he rolled to his knees. He faced the bard and brought his hands together in supplication. The young sailor was surprised at how his hands shook. He looked around the room for some inspiration, not knowing where to begin. Azure Dagger's gentle sway as she sailed rocked him.

"I don't know how to begin."

"Live," Pacys said, "that you may serve."

"I live," Jherek said, the words coming somehow naturally to his lips, "how may I serve?"

The great voice that answered filled the cabin. Even the lantern light seemed brighter.

I am here.

Jherek saw the old bard's eyes widen and knew he heard the words, too.

"You are back," the young sailor said.

My son, I have never left you. On every step of your journey, I have been with you. When your heart faltered, I gave you the strength to carry on.

"Why?"

Because I have chosen you.

"For what?"

To be my champion. To work in my name. To live by living and serve by serving.

"Why me?"

I have looked into your heart, my son, and found it to be one of the truest I have seen. You love with all the length and depth and breadth of your soul, never holding back any of yourself, never letting your fear that you might be hurt stand in your way.

"I would not listen to you."

Pride is not a bad thing when tempered properly, my son. You did not yet know me when you turned away.

"Why didn't you tell me more?"

You were not ready. You had enough things in your life that you still held to that you could not have accepted, could not have believed.

Jherek didn't understand that. "I had nothing," he maintained. "I'd been driven from my home, never had family. Nothing."

You had no belief. You would not have listened to me. Now, there is nothing else for you to cling to. Before you would have rejected the destiny that is yours.

"Now I have no choice?" Anger boiled up in Jherek. The shaking hands before him turned into fists. "You would try to enslave me?"

"Jherek," Pacys warned softly.

"No," Jherek said to the old bard in a harsh voice, "this is not your affair. I'll speak as I wish."

I would not enslave you, my son, the great voice said. You could never live under those conditions, and I would never ask. Your doubts in yourself would have kept you from turning to me and allowing me to give you the gifts I have for you.

Jherek trembled, sensing the truth behind the words. "I'm sorry. I should not have spoken in such an ill fashion."

The voice spoke, and Jherek felt he could hear the smile in the words. My son, you are going to be one of the very best. I knew it was so when I saved your life as a boy.

"Who are you?" Jherek whispered, not as afraid of the answer as he had been back in Velen when he'd first contemplated it.

I am the spring, dawn, birth, and renewal, my son. I am beginnings and hidden potential. I am conception, vitality, youth, and self-perfection. Know that I am Lathander, called the Morninglord. And you, my son, are one of my chosen champions.

"Glawinn," Jherek croaked, "does he know?"

He has suspicions, but he does not know. That has not been his to know until you tell him.

Jherek glanced at Sabyna, hardly daring to ask for what was on his mind. '"What of Sabyna? She is my heart. I could not live knowing I had caused her life to be taken."

That was no fault of your own.

"She believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself."

She saw the goodness in you, and the potential.

"Must-" Jherek's voice broke and tears streamed down his face. "Must I lose her? I would ask you for her life, Lathander, and pledge mine in its place. Save her and do with me what you will."

No, my son. I would never bargain over a champion. You will serve me only if your heart wills it.

"But you could save her."

Yes. And you would look to me as though you forever owed her life to me. I will not have that.

"So I'm to watch her die?"

My son, you have the power to save her. As you saved Khlinat, and as you have saved yourself upon occasion in the past. Trust in yourself, Jherek. Trust in the love you have for her, and in your own ability to do what must be done.

Slowly, Jherek reached for Sabyna. He remembered how Glawinn came into her room and laid his hands upon the ship's mage, but it didn't seem right that he do so. "I don't know how," he said.

Love her, my son. That is your greatest gift. But you must give and receive it. You cannot lock yourself away from it.

Trembling, his face covered in tears, so afraid that he would be somehow found wanting, Jherek laid his hands on Sabyna's face. He willed her to be well, pictured her in his mind hale and whole, saw her with the smile on her lips that he knew so well.

Power coursed through his hands, filling them with heat. He knew it wasn't enough. Tenderly, he leaned forward, pressed his lips to hers, and kissed her. He remembered how she'd been in the rigging the day she kissed him. The love and the hunger crashed down over him, threatening to sweep him away.

Sabyna kissed back, her lips soft against his.

Jherek opened his eyes to find her staring back at him. He tried to back away, knowing the question of his birth still lay between them, embarrassed by what she must think of him to find him there, obviously taking advantage of her weakness.

"Lady," he said breathlessly, "I know this must appear unseemly, but I swear I only had-"

"Shut up," she ordered. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly, then covered his mouth with hers and kissed him deeply. "Hold me, Jherek, and don't let me go."

The young sailor wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him fiercely. Somewhere in there, the old bard had the decency to leave.

"Are you sure you want to do that, young warrior?"

Glawinn's quiet words startled Jherek from his reverie. He stood on Azure Dagger's stern castle, the wind blowing through his hair. Late morning tinged the eastern sky pink, but the rest of it was pure cerulean. Bright white doves winged overhead, and the young sailor chose to take that as an omen.

"Aye," Jherek replied. "I can see no other way of it."

"This thing you're undertaking," Glawinn said, "it's no easy thing."

"Would you talk me out of it?" Jherek asked.

Glawinn shook his head.

"I would see it done, then, if you're willing."

"Young warrior," Glawinn said in a voice that was suddenly hoarse with emotion as tears glittered in his eyes, "if you only knew the honor you show me."

Jherek reached for him, his own eyes tearing even as he smiled fiercely. The young sailor pulled the man to him in a bear hug that was returned full measure.

"I only show what you have shown me," Jherek told him.

Azure Dagger lay at anchor with only the small wind blowing over her, so the song from Pacys's yarting was audible from one end of the ship to the other.

Jherek gathered himself, standing on the stern castle in borrowed clothes, his sword thrust through the sash at his waist. He gazed at Sabyna, who stood with the small crowd around Pacys at the other end of the stern castle.

During the last two days, the ship's mage had made a complete recovery. No scars remained to mark the drowned ones' bites. She wore a dress that Azla loaned her. Even the old-timers among the pirate crew were surprised to learn the half-elf captain owned a dress, though they all had a care not to say anything of the kind in her presence. Khlinat stood beside her, his chest puffed up proudly. Captain Tarnar of Steadfast was there as well, unable to cross the dangerous seas yet. He wore vestments that bore Mystra's mark. The crews of both ships stood on their decks, Steadfast within easy hailing distance.

Jherek hadn't known so many would be interested, but Azla declared the proceeding as an official event and her pirates even cleaned up a bit for it. The young sailor glanced at the audience and felt self-conscious.

"I didn't know so many people would be here," he said to Glawinn.

"Young warrior, the word spread quickly last night when you asked for this. Those people out there, once they learned of it, they would have it no other way. This is not something that is often witnessed."

"It was only you and I," Jherek pointed out. "And I told only Sabyna."

Glawinn shrugged, grinning. "And I told only the bard because he needed to know for the tale he weaves. So, we have two suspects. Choose one."

Jherek couldn't keep the smile from his face. "No."

"Then, perhaps we should begin."

"Aye."

Excitement and anxiety hummed inside Jherek and he had second thoughts about his own worthiness. Quietly, he shoved those aside and gazed at Sabyna. He knew she was proof that Lathander had found him deserving, even if he couldn't yet see it himself.

"Kneel, Jherek of Velen," Glawinn ordered.

Quietly, Jherek knelt, placing his hands before him, palms pressed together. He bent his head forward in benediction.

"You have been blessed by Lathander," Glawinn said,

"to be among those who would defend the Morninglord's name and His wishes. How say you?"

Jherek marshaled his courage, hoping to overcome his nervousness. Surprisingly, his voice sounded strong and clear over the gentle wind. "I, Jherek of Velen, do hereby pledge to honor the strictures of this sacred heritage and promise by my faith to be loyal to Lathander, maintaining my devotion against all persons without deception or forethought. Further, I vow to promote and uphold the principles of fealty, courtesy, honesty, valor, and honor, and to solemnly and faithfully follow the edicts of the Morning-lord."

"May your heart be forever true to Lathander's cause to hold compassion for those who will need your help and to hold righteous anger for those who have been trespassed against," Glawinn said. "May your arm be forever strong in the Morninglord's service."

Jherek listened to the silence around him and felt more complete than he ever had. By Lathander's sacred covenant, this was where he should be. His heart swelled inside his chest as he awaited Glawinn's next words.

"For the Morninglord's glory and in my true and unwavering service to him, I name you Sir Jherek, paladin in the service of Lathander."

Jherek felt Glawinn's sword touch both his shoulders.

"Arise, Sir Jherek, and be whole of heart and spirit to show Lathander's great love for you."

The crowd aboard Azure Dagger clapped, and the pirates hooted and hollered their support. Rising on shaking legs, Jherek stood, looking up at the blue sky above.

"Thank you," he said to the sky," for finding me and freeing me."

My son, the deep voice said, you were never lost, and you have freed yourself. Take your shirt off.

Jherek hesitated for only a moment, then did as he was asked. As he stripped the shirt away, he noticed the clapping and hollering quieted, until the ship was silent once more. He was conscious of the tattoo-a flaming skull masked in chains-that showed so plainly on his arm.

No one, the deep voice boomed, startling the people on the ship and letting Jherek know he wasn't the only one who could hear the words now, may mark one of my own.

A pink incandescence flared to life in the middle of the Harning skull, burning brightly. Jherek watched, surprised there was no pain, only a tingling feeling. When the incandescence passed, only unmarked flesh remained behind.

Jherek held his arms out at his sides, staring at the clear skin through tear-blurred eyes that spilled over his cheeks.

The stain of your father's heritage is gone, my son. Live free of it.