The Secret Hangman

22

T here was no ‘How was it for you?’ The joy they both experienced was obvious. After the setbacks in their dating, it was a mercy that the sex went so well. For Diamond, nerves could have spoilt the occasion after three years of self-imposed celibacy. Paloma appeared to sense what was in his mind and coaxed him through with tact, affection and even a little humour. Afterwards they said nothing, held hands, murmured a little and slept.

He woke to the sound of a phone.

Assuming — as you do — that he was in his own bed, his first thought was that Georgina was on the line again and another hanging had been discovered. But when he reached for the phone it wasn’t there. The sound was coming from behind him and he realised where he was. Surely Bath nick hadn’t tracked him here?

Paloma didn’t seem to have heard. Or maybe she hoped the caller would give up. Finally she said, ‘This early?’ and reached for it.

Diamond lay still, unsure what to do, half expecting the call was for him.

But she was listening with an intensity that told him this was someone whose voice she recognised at once. Difficult. You don’t listen to other people’s private calls. To have got out of bed and left the room didn’t seem appropriate either.

Going by the concern in Paloma’s voice, it didn’t matter who was overhearing her. Someone was in trouble. ‘What’s up?’ she was saying. ‘There’s something wrong. I can hear it in your voice.’

After a pause she said, ‘What — stolen, darling? Where was it?’

The ‘darling’ confirmed that the call couldn’t be for him. But he didn’t relax. He sensed that this darling wasn’t a woman friend.

‘Have you reported it?’ she went on. ‘You’ve got to report it.’

Now she was talking like a parent and he guessed she was speaking to her son, the fitness trainer.

‘Yes, of course, darling. You can’t manage without. Come and collect it. If I want one I can rent it… Yes… Oh, what a pain. Why do people do this kind of thing?… Yes, as soon as you like. I’m here.’ She put down the phone.

‘Your son?’ Diamond said.

‘Jerry, yes. Someone stole his car from Broad Street last night. Isn’t it appalling? He’s going to have to borrow mine. He can’t do his job without transport. He has to visit his clients in their homes.’

‘Do you want me to leave?’

‘Not at all. You’re better placed to advise him than I am.’

He said, ‘I meant that you might not want Jerry to know I spent the night with you.’

She laughed. ‘I’m not ashamed. Let him know his mother isn’t past all that.’

So two lovers who could have been basking in the warmth of their intimacy were transformed into counsellors for a crime victim. They rose, showered and got ready. In the bathroom Diamond found not only the promised new toothbrush but a disposable razor and shaving cream.

By the time Jerry arrived they were finishing breakfast — a light one of cereal, toast and coffee. Everyone tried to be cool.

‘You guys have met, of course,’ Paloma said.

‘Bad luck about the car,’ Diamond said.

Jerry’s eyes had widened for one moment at the sight of Diamond at the breakfast table, but he responded warmly enough. ‘Thanks. I guess it’s a risk you run, parking on a city street at night — with a decent motor, anyway.’

Diamond had never measured his success by the cars he owned, but he could sympathise with a young man who’d worked hard for his status symbol and still made time to do hospital work. ‘I noticed it on the drive when I was here before. A blue Nissan four-by-four, right?’

‘The Pathfinder. My pride and joy. Cost me thirty grand, with some generous help from mother, bless her.’ He sighed. ‘What a waste. I haven’t had it five minutes.’

‘What time did it go missing?’

‘Late evening. I was eating with friends. I came back round about midnight.’

‘You reported it?’

‘Right away. Your people said it could be kids joyriding and it might be found abandoned somewhere.’

‘That’s a possibility. Did you call the station again this morning?’

‘Yep. They’ve heard nothing.’ He ran a distracted hand through his hair and gripped the back of his neck. ‘What if it isn’t kids? People steal cars and sell them on, don’t they?’

‘That could happen, too,’ Diamond said, thinking something else. This wasn’t the moment to mention that four-by-fours are the chosen vehicles for ram raids. ‘Do you know the chassis number?’

‘Got a note of it somewhere.’

‘Look it up and let us know. Car thefts are handled by someone else at the nick, but when I get in I’ll see if there’s anything I can find out. Sometimes you get reports of bad driving on the motorway and that can be joyriders.’

Paloma said, ‘It’s a damned shame it gets called joyriding. Sounds like something glamorous when in reality it’s a shabby little crime and bloody dangerous as well.’

Jerry drank some coffee and said he’d better leave. Paloma handed him her car keys. In the hallway, he called out, ‘Are these Agatha Christies for me?’

‘No,’ Diamond called back. ‘They’re for people in hospital.’

‘Appreciate it.’

The door slammed.

‘He does, too. He’s very committed to this voluntary work,’ Paloma said to Diamond when they were alone again. ‘You never know what’s going to happen, do you?’

‘Could have been worse,’ he said. ‘He had the good sense not to call you last night.’

She smiled. ‘We’d have really felt jinxed, wouldn’t we? Thanks for being patient with him. In a strange way I think this may do Jerry some good, having something go wrong. We all need challenges.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘It’s me being overconcerned, I expect. I wish he’d get a proper job, a career, I mean.’

‘What’s a proper job? The civil service? They get laid off in thousands by each new government. Jerry went through college for what he’s doing. And he must have worked damned hard to get clients and keep them. If I’m any judge, he’s got life worked out. And all those evenings at the hospital show he has a social conscience.’

‘He has that all right. Church every Sunday, which is more than I manage.’

‘So will he disapprove of me being here?’

‘Don’t worry. I’ve disappointed him plenty of times and we’re still talking.’ She put her hand to her mouth and gave a nervous laugh. ‘Oh, dear, that sounds as if I’ve had a string of lovers and I didn’t mean that. I disappoint Jerry in other ways like spending too much on clothes. He gives me the occasional text to think about. “Consider the lilies of the field…” et cetera. It’s a hoot, isn’t it, getting told how to behave by your son?’

‘’Specially if you carry on in your own sweet way.’

‘Exactly.’

He looked at the time. ‘I’d better report in. They haven’t been able to reach me since yesterday.’

‘Don’t you carry a mobile?’

‘Me?’ He just laughed.

‘What’s funny about that?’

‘I’m out of the age of the dinosaurs.’

‘But you’re a senior policeman.’

‘Yeah. Superintendent Flintstone.’

‘You ought to overcome that. They’re really useful. Essential almost.’

‘I can’t disagree with you after all that’s happened, but they strike me as the end of civilisation as I know it, all those idiots walking along the street with their hands to their ears broadcasting to all and sundry.’

‘Peter, that’s not the point. Mobiles have their advantages.’

‘I haven’t discovered any yet.’

‘Like being in contact.’

‘I don’t always want to be in contact. Last night I didn’t want to be in contact. When your phone went this morning I was bricking it in case my colleagues had traced me to your house.’

‘They hadn’t.’

He nodded and smiled. ‘That’s why I don’t use a mobile.’

‘You don’t see it, do you?’ she said with amusement. ‘When someone calls you on a mobile they don’t know where you are. If you want to stay over with me another time — as I hope you will — you can make calls and take calls and they’ll assume you’re speaking from home. For a man with a complicated private life it’s the indispensable aid.’

The man with a complicated private life cradled his chin as if deep in thought. ‘There’s a flaw somewhere, but you’re very persuasive. And I had better go into work. They’ll be cockahoop to find out how I got on at the theatre.’

‘I could tell them,’ Paloma said. ‘You’re almost as good a drama critic as you are in bed.’

‘I’m not sure how to take that.’

‘It’s a compliment. When can I see you again?’

‘One day next week?’

‘Early next week — yes?’