The Secrets of Ordinary Farm

Chapter 42

Colin Needle had walked around for two days with his head full of unpleasant thoughts, but no matter how he had considered things, no matter how he tried to explain them to himself, he couldn’t make the worst one go away.

Tyler Jenkins had been right -Colin’s mother had been the one who had made Gideon sick. And in trying to change Gideon’s will, or whatever she had been up to on the night of the storm (he was still piecing the story together) she had also used her son’s computer and the security system Colin had so painstakingly set up to let the manticores out, bringing deadly danger not only to the other residents of the farm, but to her own son.

But how could she do such a thing? Colin had always known his mother was difficult and temperamental, even knew that she had a cruel streak, but this was different. She had told him so many times that her excesses were on his behalf that he had believed it in the same way he believed rain was good for plants. Now his life seemed to have been twisted into a completely different shape, one that he had never seen before and had no idea of how to use.

As Colin reached the bottom of the stairs he met Caesar coming out of the kitchen with what looked like Gideon’s lunch, a tray with soup and bread and a sparkling white napkin rolled up and held in a silver ring. Colin nodded as Caesar went past, and Caesar nodded politely back, but suddenly Colin felt certain that there was something other than politeness in the old man’s dark brown eyes-contempt? Outright hatred, hidden only by his polished manners?

Little Pema was dusting the furniture in the entry hall, and she too nodded to Colin as he passed, but despite the demure, downward cast of her eyes he fancied he could see her shrink back as if she did not want even his shadow to touch her. He knew the kitchen women did not like him, but he had always supposed it was because of his bad temper or the way he sometimes spoke without thinking, dismissing things he felt were plainly stupid. But was it more? Was their dislike of his mother deeper than what most workers felt for unsympathetic managers-did they really hate and fear her? Did that mean they hated and feared Colin Needle as well?

These were new thoughts, quite new, and Colin didn’t know exactly what to do with them. For most of his life he had known that the other farm residents didn’t like the Needles, but he had managed to convince himself that much of it came from the dislike the weak always felt for the strong-his mother was nothing if not strong. Sometimes her strength even scared her own son. Why shouldn’t it make others nervous?

But one day while Gideon was still missing, Colin had found a few envelopes from the Madagascar crate near the old abandoned greenhouse and had wondered why his normally so-careful mother would bring those foreign seeds and spores to the garden, where the risk of them causing mischief in an entirely new environment was so great. Why wouldn’t she simply raise them under controlled conditions? Later, when Lucinda had been overwhelmed by the spores from the greenhouse, Colin had begun to be suspicious, but still hadn’t been able to make sense of it. When Lucinda told him what kind of spores they were and he thought about Gideon’s mysterious disappearance and return did it all begin to make a kind of terrible sense. It wasn’t her experiments with the exotic plants and fungi his mother had needed to hide away from the house’s inhabitants, it was who she had been experimenting on-Gideon Goldring himself. His mother must have been hiding the old man out in the garden. Somehow his mother, Patience Needle, had knocked Gideon out and dragged him to the greenhouse all by herself, only to have him escape on the Fourth of July.

Witch. It was a word that came up out of the darkest places inside Colin like a belch of foul gas from the bottom of a deep pool. His mother was a witch, and not the good kind. It wasn’t the first time he had heard it, or even the first time he had thought it himself, but it was the first time he had really let himself feel what it meant.

My mother is a witch.

Colin Needle had never felt so alone.

He stood in the shade of the porch, sweat dripping down his face and making his clothes stick to his skin. Although the storms had passed, the sky was just cloudy enough to make the day as close as it was hot. He was thinking he might go and look at Eliot the sea-serpent, whose silvery splashing sometimes gave Colin a feeling of freedom that very few other things did, when a movement in the distance caught his attention.

Lucinda Jenkins was walking slowly toward the farmhouse, trudging through the shadow cast by the tall grain silo that stood over the Fault Line. He didn’t know what he was going to say to her, didn’t know if he could think of anything to say, but she looked like she didn’t feel any better than he did, so at least he wouldn’t have to try to make cheerful conversation. Colin knew he wasn’t very good at that.

He waved awkwardly as she climbed the steps to the porch. “Hi.”

She looked up at him and smiled, but he felt sure it was the same smile she would have given any stranger on the street. “Oh. Hi, Colin.”

She had paused for a moment but now she looked as though she was going to continue past him into the house. He suddenly didn’t want to be on his own again. “Ummm,” he said, as if it actually meant something. “Ummm. You… you want some lemonade? I think Sarah just made some.”

Lucinda looked at him again, more closely this time. After a couple of seconds she seemed to relax, although she still looked sad. “Yeah. Sure, that would be nice.”

“Just wait and I’ll go get it.”

When he came out again a few minutes later with two glasses she was sitting in one of the rocking chairs. He handed her one of the glasses and let himself down into the other one, careful not to spill. Just for once he didn’t want to do anything clumsy, didn’t want to embarrass himself.

“So… ” he said as she drank. “You’re going home tomorrow, huh?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I guess it’s just as well. Desta hates me.”

It took Colin a moment to put it all together. “Oh, the little dragon. Well, don’t feel too bad-they’ve always hated me.”

She gave him a slightly annoyed look. “You do know that’s your own fault, right, Colin?”

For a moment he wanted to argue, loudly if necessary-didn’t anyone understand that he was trying to make important things happen?-but just as suddenly as the need had filled him, it leaked out again. He took a deep breath and let it out. “Yes. Yes, I suppose you’re right. I’ve certainly done my share of stupid things. Selfish things.”

She lifted an eyebrow. Lucinda Jenkins was really quite pretty, he noticed again. Not flashy like the oldest Carrillo girl, who dressed like someone you’d see on a teenage TV show, all jangly bracelets and complicated hairstyles, but very nice nonetheless, her hair straight and shiny, her serious face, so pale a few weeks ago, now quite tan. “You really mean that, Colin?” she asked. “Or are you trying to butter me up for something?”

He shook his head. “I’ve been… I don’t know. I’ve been wanting to talk to you. About a lot of things.” He suddenly realized that one of the things he wanted to tell her was that he liked her, liked her in a way that was different than with anyone else he knew, but starting that particular conversation seemed as terrifying as diving out of a moving airplane at night with a parachute that might or might not work. “Talk about what’s been going on here. About some of the things you said. Because some of them… some of them were right… ”

“What do you mean?” Her weariness had been set aside. She looked interested, even sympathetic, and for the first time since the night of the storm Colin felt as though things might not be as wretched as they seemed.

“Well… ” He hesitated, suddenly overwhelmed by all the thoughts in his head. What could he tell her? That he agreed his mother was dangerous-that he was beginning to be really frightened of her, not just in the old ways, but in entirely new ones? After all, Lucinda and her brother were leaving: it was Colin who would be stuck on the farm with all these people who already hated him. What if his mother found out what he had been thinking, these disloyal thoughts? What if she found out he had been talking to the Jenkins children about her?

On the other hand, what if he said nothing and next time something really bad happened…?

But before he could speak again, a shout rolled across the open spaces beyond the driveway. “Hey! Hey, Luce!”

It was Tyler Jenkins, jogging toward them, shirt untucked, baseball cap sideways, looking like the perfect model of a stupid American middle-schooler. Colin felt his insides twist with disappointment and resentment.

As he reached the porch Lucinda said, “Hi, Tyler.” Did Colin fancy he heard a little disappointment in her voice, too? If so, that almost made the intrusion worthwhile. “Hang on a second-I’m just talking to

… ”

At first, Tyler didn’t even look at him. “You should have seen it, Luce-it was totally epic! One of the hoop snakes got out, then Zaza got spooked and she got into Haneb’s hair, and he was screaming and jumping around trying to get her out… ” He slowed then stopped, staring at Colin. “What’s your problem, Needle? Can’t I talk to my own sister?”

Colin swallowed an angry reply. “Go on, Jenkins, say what you want to say. Nobody’s stopping you.”

“Really? You’re sure acting like you wish you could. Was I interrupting something?”

“None of your business.” He heard the sound of his own voice, cold and angry, and at that moment it was just how he wanted to sound.

“Tyler!” said Lucinda. “We were just talking. Don’t be a jerk.”

“What?” Her brother turned toward her, face red. “Why is it my fault? He’s the one sitting there looking like he wants to punch me

… ”

Colin stood up so abruptly the rocking chair’s skids squeaked on the porch boards. “Forget it! Just forget it! Enjoy yourself, you two. Really a pity you’ll be leaving tomorrow-it breaks my heart to think of it.”

And without even listening to what Lucinda Jenkins was saying-because what kind of fool had he been to think she would ever understand anyway?-Colin turned and banged through the door into the house. He almost knocked down little Pema as he stormed through the entry hall, heading for the stairs and the security of his own room, but the thought of apologizing to her never even crossed his mind.