The Servant's Tale

17

MEG KNELT IN the shadows at the back of the church, beyond the choir. She was not sure she should be here. This was where the nuns prayed; her own church was down in the village. She had meant to go directly from the guesthall to the kitchen, but the nuns’ singing had drawn her as she went through the cloister, and when they had left she had slipped in and along the nave to kneel here with her thoughts that were not quite prayers, only a seeking to know what God wanted of her, and if He was pleased with what she had managed for Sym and Barnaby.

Beyond a numbness in her mind and heart, she knew that she was grieving for Sym. But she was past tears. Her only strong feeling seemed to be the dim joy of knowing he was safe from Hell, that he would someday go from Purgatory into Heaven’s golden light. She had done that for him. So while there was the stone-hard weight of losing him on earth, she also had the certainty that he was safe, and the comfort of that was great.

“My child.” The voice beside her was so soft and Meg so far into her thoughts that for an instant the words seemed a part of her own mind, come to answer her from wherever prayers went for answering. Then she realized a nun was standing beside her, and she struggled up from her stiff knees to curtsey unsteadily. She knew the sister’s face but not her name. It was hard to learn the nuns’ names when most of them never spoke at all, or so it seemed. The soothing lack of clacking chatter inside the cloister was one of the things she loved about the priory, so different from the village.

Now this sister put out a gentle hand toward her shoulder, not quite touching, and said softly, “I only wondered if you would rather come kneel at the altar instead of back here.”

Meg turned her wonder-widened eyes toward the altar, the heart of the church. Covered by a damask cloth of spotless white, set with the golden-clasped prayer book, the gleaming candlesticks, and little golden house enclosing the bread and wine that were Christ’s living body and blood, it had a special light of its own, kinder than sunlight, as mysterious as the undying flame in the red-glass lamp hanging above it.

“I couldn’t go there,” Meg whispered. “Not there.”

“Yes, you can. I’m Sister Fiacre. I’m sacristan here and the church and everything in it are my duty. I promise you can go to the altar’s very step if you want. Come with me.”

With her hand under Meg’s elbow to guide her, she drew her toward the three steps that led up to the altar. At the bottom one, she said softly, “This is where I pray when I can. When I’m here, and it’s quiet, I can feel Lord Jesus’s comfort all around me, almost hear his words, and know God is pouring himself over me like healing ointment and the Holy Ghost is waiting to enter my soul with peace.”

Meg began to pull back. She did not understand the words but they sounded as holy as anything any priest might say. At the same time, she felt the sister’s fragility, and was afraid of how easy it would be to hurt her. But she protested, “I shouldn’t be here.”

“You’re one of God’s children. The blessed Mary, mother of Jesus, stood at the foot of the cross and watched her own son die. She has a special care for any mother who suffers a son’s loss. Kneel here and ask her to ask her resurrected son to comfort you.”

Meg thought for a panicked moment that Sister Fiacre meant she was to ask for Sym’s resurrection. Then she understood, and even found the word for it. “Intercession,” she said.

Sister Fiacre’s pale lips parted in surprise, even respect. Then she nodded and said, “That’s right. Ask the blessed mother’s intercession. And how can so perfect a son as Jesus deny what his own mother asks of him?”

Meg’s uncertainty went away. Sister Fiacre must have seen her acceptance because she said with a kind smile, “So you can pray here as long as you want. You’ll not bother me at my work.”

Awed at the thought of working in a place where she herself hardly dared come at all, Meg asked, “You work here? What do you do?”

Sister Fiacre’s smile made her whole face wistful with remembered pleasure. “I see that the church is swept, the altar cloths clean, Father Henry’s vestments ready, all the gold and brass and glass polished, the candles trimmed to burn their best, the prayer books marked to the right text, new herbs strewn to freshen the air. If needed, I see that things are repaired or replaced. Everything must reflect God’s glory and aid our worshiping here. And then…” She looked around at everything. “And then when all is done and if I have a little time, I kneel here and pray, and if I’ve done very well, I sometimes feel St. Frideswide is thanking me for what I’ve done to keep her church lovely.”

“The saint comes to you?” Meg breathed.

Warming to Meg’s admiration, Sister Fiacre said, “Not to be seen, of course. That’s not been granted me. But I can feel her presence. Her veil is in the altar, you know. And one of her fingernails. You know her story? She refused to marry a prince in order to be a nun. The abbey she founded is in Oxford, and so is her tomb, but a part of her is here, too. And I can feel the warmth of her love wrapping me all around and her pleasure that I’ve done well. It’s like nothing of the world at all. Maybe she’ll come to you, too, while you’re here, and ease your heart.”

Meg, wrapped in a kind of holy enthusiasm, said, “Maybe, if…Could I help you with your work?”

Sister Fiacre hesitated, looking doubtful. “Instead of praying?”

Meg clasped her hands. “Isn’t work a kind of praying? Father Clement in the village used to say that. That we should do our work as a kind of prayer to God instead of complaining of it. Surely, taking care of God’s holy church must be prayer of the best kind. And it would ease my heart.”

As soon as she said it, she knew that was the best plea she could have made. Sister Fiacre nodded. “Of course, child,” she murmured, though she was probably barely older than Meg herself. “Of course. Come and help me.”

The little while then was a treasure to Meg. Humbly aware of the blessing she was given, she swept the tile floor in the choir and ran a polishing cloth over the already gleaming wood of the nuns’ choir stalls. Here was where they stood all those times every day and in the night with their prayers and singing to God. Except for the altar itself, there must be no more holy place in the priory. She moved with conscious silence and deep reverence, leaving reluctantly, returning gladly when Sister Fiacre gave her a bowl of rosemary and meadowsweet and other herbs to strew along the floor so their sweet scents would rouse under the feet of the nuns.

She of course did not handle the altar or its furnishings, but watched with awe while Sister Fiacre did with a humble familiarity, and handed her the polishing cloths and took them back from her, deeply aware that they had touched the holy things themselves. She held them reverently while Sister Fiacre made sure everything was set precisely as it should be on the altar, and gave them up only reluctantly when Sister Fiacre came to take them to put away.

Sister Fiacre had scarcely come back from that when there was a broad sweep of full daylight and a strong draft of cold outside air along the nave as the church’s wide western door was pushed open. Used to the church’s subdued light and silences, Meg instinctively drew back toward the shadows of the choir stalls, thinking again that maybe she should not be here. But Sister Fiacre swung around sharply, putting herself directly between the altar and the intruders, as if to defend it.

Two nuns entered in a sway of skirts and veils, leading three men. Their obeisances toward the altar were perfunctory, though the men pulled off their hoods before, still chattering, they all came along the nave.

“And you can see there are no side aisles, so no pillars to be in your way,” the younger nun said eagerly. “The best place would be there, between the stalls, only the space is so narrow there’s not room for you to perform. So where would you like to be? What would suit best? What will you need, a screen, tables, musicians? I can play the lute.”

“Talented, too? Wonderful,” murmured one of the men, slender and fair, smiling as he bent his head to hear her more nearly.

The other men were looking around with an assessing rather than reverent air as they came on. But the black-haired man was also aware of the younger nun, and she let show her awareness of him, between smiles at the fair-haired one.

Sister Fiacre, from her rigid place at the foot of the altar steps, said, shrill with indignation, “Sister Amicia!”

The younger nun started, her chatter cutting off.

“And Sister Lucy!” Sister Fiacre added for good measure, though the other nun had also fallen silent and had been in no more than decorous conversation with the older man. “What is this?”

Sister Lucy said something in a low voice to the men and then hurried forward. “It’s by Domina Edith’s bidding. She said the players should see the church before they perform, remember? Sister Amicia and I have brought them, just as she said. It’s all right.”

“I doubt that.” Sister Fiacre began to wring her hands with nervous temper. “I told her what they were like. Now look at you both, gabbling at them as if you were village women when they shouldn’t even be in here at all. I don’t want them here.”

“But Domina Edith does,” Sister Lucy said. She looked around for confirmation to Sister Amicia, who, looking away from the gaze of the fair-haired man in a way that remained flirtatious, nodded agreement. From her place to the shadowed side, Meg recognized the men. The black-haired man had fought with Sym on the green. And the fair-haired one meeting Sister Amicia’s smiles with his own had stabbed Sym last night. Dame Claire had said it had been an accident, and no one’s fault. She had said it kindly, with sympathy, but firmly, so that Meg would understand there was going to be no one punished for what had happened.

Meg had accepted it the way she had had to accept so many other things. But to see him, to see them both here in this holy place, distressing this holy woman…

“The church is my concern!” Sister Fiacre said. “Domina Edith should have asked me to show it to them, if they have to be here.”

“She said you should be spared the burden of dealing with lay people-” Sister Lucy began.

Sister Amicia cut across her. “Especially men. We were to tell you they were coming, to prepare you, but then it just seemed easier to bring them along.”

The older man stepped past her and made a flourishing bow to Sister Fiacre. “Good sister,” he began in a rich, full voice, “pray, we mean only…”

Sister Fiacre cut him off with a small shriek. She stepped back, clutching her hands to her breast as if he had threatened her. “You! You dare!” She fluttered a hand out at him. “You were Lord Warenne’s man! You were all Lord Warenne’s men! I remember you, Thomas Bassett! I know all about you and why he turned you away! How can you dare profane this place?”

Frevisse, drawn from the cloister walk by Sister Fiacre’s raised voice, heard that much as she came in by the side door, and saw the momentary bewilderment on Bassett’s face begin to change toward alarm even as he said with a steady voice, “I fear you have the advantage of me, good lady.”

Under the strength of her indignation Sister Fiacre left off handwringing to point a shaking finger at him. “My brother told me! After he came in to his lordship, he said what you offered to do. You and those…those…others.” She flapped a hand at Ellis and Joliffe standing farther away with Sister Amicia all agog between them. “Sister Amicia, you come away from those two!” Sister Fiacre added with shrill fierceness. “Right away! You don’t know the wickedness about them that I know.”

Angry color was rising in both Ellis’s and Joliffe’s faces as she spoke, but it was Joliffe who said, “It’s your brother you don’t know about. That sanctimonious, prig-faced…”

“Joiiffe!”

Frevisse had never heard Bassett’s voice fully raised before. It surged to the wide roof beams of the nave and between the stone walls and stopped everyone, movement and voice, Joliffe as well as Sister Fiacre. Even Frevisse, startled, held her peace and place. It was Joliffe who recovered first and said, still angrily, to Bassett now, “There’s no reason we have to-”

Again Bassett interrupted. “There’s reasons. You think and you’ll remember them.” He rounded on Ellis, cutting him off, too. “You remember?” he demanded sharply.

“I remember,” Ellis said angrily. His anger was a darker kind than Joliffe’s. “We all remember them.”

“And well you should!” Sister Fiacre cried out. “Very well you should! My brother told me all of it! What you offered to do! What you said!”

Whatever else she was about to say, Frevisse cut off by coming forward. She knew too well the uselessness of trying to reason with Sister Fiacre when she was in this state and said in a deliberately quiet voice, “Whatever you know, I’m sure it’s not worth shouting in the church about, Sister Fiacre.”

“But these people offered to bring-”

“We? You have it the wrong way-” began Joliffe.

“Silence!” said Bassett. “This is not the time or place-”

“I agree,” said Frevisse in her most authoritative voice. She was perfectly aware of the edge she could give to words when she chose. She gave it now, and Sister Fiacre, her lower lip beginning to waver and tears filling her eyes, subsided.

Frevisse continued, “I’ll see to everything from here, Sister Fiacre. Sister Amicia will take you to Dame Claire, who will give you something to calm you. Sister Lucy will stay, and I will assist her with this.”

Protest trembled all over Sister Fiacre’s face but she was no match for any well-asserted authority and finally, with a little strangled cry and her hands clutched again to her breast, she bowed her head and let Sister Amicia lead her away. Meg left the shadows and hurried after her, her sudden appearance startling everyone but Sister Fiacre.

When they were gone and the side door shut behind them, Frevisse looked at Sister Lucy, who looked back with neutral quietness. Sister Lucy was well into her forties and had achieved Domina Edith’s serene detachment from emotional scenes. Now she seemed to feel that since Frevisse had taken on the problem, the problem was Frevisse’s; she offered no suggestions, and Frevisse turned to the players and said equably. “Now, Bassett, would you care to finish looking around and tell us what you will need for your performance?”

“Yes, thank you, my lady, we would.”

Joliffe and Ellis were still smoldering, but Bassett seemed calm. Or maybe he handled his anger better than the younger men did. As if the interlude with Sister Fiacre had not happened, Bassett began to inspect the nave to see where they could best perform, using questions and suggestions to draw Ellis and Joliffe after him and soothe their resentment away.

It was decided that, all in all, little was needed beyond what their own stock of properties could provide. Sister Lucy would see to lanterns being set around the church, the nuns could gather at the altar end, and the players would perform in the nave, just inside the western door.

“That’s all easily done.” Sister Lucy said. “I’ll be sure someone sees to it. Is there anything else?”

“You’ve been most gracious,” Bassett said. “I think there’s nothing else but to let us make glad your evening.”

“I look forward to your performance,” Sister Lucy replied, so formally it was impossible to tell if she were telling the truth or only being polite.

All three of the men then bowed both to her and Frevisse and left. Frevisse meant to go after them, but paused to ask Sister Lucy, “How does Domina Edith? Is she ill again?”

Sister Lucy smiled slightly. “Not truly. She resents her body being weak, but Dame Claire has said she should stay quiet today and rest, lest her sickness come back on her. She’s presently more impatient than anything.”

“Can she be visited?”

Sister Lucy hesitated, then said, “It would depend. It wouldn’t be well for her to be truly disturbed…” She paused, looking at the floor.

“As Sister Fiacre might do,” Frevisse finished for her. “But would it be possible for me to call on her sometime today?”

“With God all things are possible. With Domina Edith things are a little less certain. I will inquire.”

They smiled at each other and went their separate ways, Sister Lucy returning to Domina Edith, Frevisse to the old guesthall.

As she went she told herself that simply because the priory had so few guests this holiday time, and those guests not of the most important, her duty still required that she see to their needs. That was why she was going to them now, no other reason, except of course that Joliffe’s dagger needed returning.

He was leaning against the wide stone frame of the guesthall doorway as she crossed the yard. He seemed unaware of her coming. Staring down in front of him at nothing in particular, he looked gone away somewhere far in his thoughts. Frevisse knew the moment he became aware of her, not by any movement that he made but simply because his awareness turned outward some several heartbeats before he raised his eyes and met hers.

She drew the dagger from her sleeve and held it out to him. “Thank you. It was useful.”

“On whom?” he asked, taking it from her.

Deliberately Frevisse said, “On Sym,” and watched Joliffe’s face.

Only slightly disconcerted he said, “He must have made an easy target. He was already dead.”

“Yes,” Frevisse agreed. She would have asked him about the trouble between Sister Fiacre’s family and the players, but was interrupted by an angry voice beyond the door behind him. She listened and then asked, surprised, “Rose?”

Joliffe, with a grin, nodded. “Bassett was telling her what happened in the church. It’s why I came out here. If you’ve any pity, you might want to go in and rescue him.”

“But what-”

Frevisse paused, distracted by Rose’s rising voice. The words were indistinct but the anger clear.

“She’s afraid we’ll be put back on the road before the day is out,” Joliffe explained. “And that Piers will sicken again if we are. Few things rouse Rose to temper, but danger to Piers is very definitely one of them.” He stepped aside, opening the door for her. “So go rescue Bassett, if it please you.”

Frevisse entered the hall. Joliffe did not follow her.

Bassett and Ellis were seated by the fire with the hunch-shouldered look of men who would have left if they could. Rose stood across from them, silent just then, her hands on her hips, glaring at them. At Frevisse’s coming they all looked her way, and Bassett rose quickly to his feet with plain relief.

“If I’ve come at a bad time,” she started.

“No,” Bassett said quickly. “We were just talking about how well the church would serve for the play. Piers’s voice should be excellent there.”

“He’ll be well enough for it by then?”

“We’re thinking so, if he keeps warm till then and goes directly to his bed afterwards.”

“I’m tired of bed,” Piers announced loudly from his blankets beyond the fire. “Hewe, hand me that.”

One of their baskets full of props and goods had been dragged close to where he lay. Like the others, it was large, almost his boy’s length and waist high on him if he had been standing. It had completely hidden Hewe where he was sitting, but now he moved at Piers’s command, holding out a brightly painted box and glancing warily at Frevisse to see what she would say to his being there.

She said nothing; where he was was his concern, or his mother’s, and he seemed to be doing no harm. Instead she said to Bassett, “Will you be rehearsing this afternoon?”

Assured of her uninterest, Hewe crawled closer to Piers and they began to look through whatever the box held.

“We mean to,” Bassett said. “But I suppose not in the church?”

“It might be better if you didn’t. Sister Fiacre-”

Rose made an angry sound and a sharp movement.

“Rose,” Ellis said, and went to her. His gesture was one of support, but he did not touch her, only stood close. She folded her arms tightly across her breast, making a battlement of them.

“She’s there by choice and by duty,” Frevisse went on. “She’s sacristan. If her temper seems uneven, it’s not that she wills it thus. She’s…unwell. She has a cancer in her breast, and is often in much pain. What medicine Dame Claire can give her doesn’t help much anymore. So she seeks the silence of the church and the solace of offering her pain for her few sins and for the repose of the souls of those who have helped our priory prosper.”

Bassett grimaced with pity, and the others looked abashed or embarrassed. But Bassett’s gaze shifted past Frevisse’s shoulder, and she turned to find Meg standing there, bent sideways under the weight of a bucket of coal.

“Meg!” Frevisse said. “Surely there’s a man servant better able to carry that. Why don’t you go home?”

Meg’s worn face seemed sunk more deeply into its lines than ever. She was carefully not looking beyond Frevisse’s feet to any of the players. In a monotone she said, “I don’t want to risk losing my place here.” She glanced at the bucket of coal. “Domina Edith sent word this was to be brought over to the guests. I’ll just set it by the fire then, may I?”

Eyes still down, she staggered forward, set the bucket by the fire, and turned to leave; but her lifting eye was caught by Hewe and Piers who had been sitting still as fawns that hoped to escape the hunter.

Frevisse saw both her amazement and Hewe’s chagrin, before anger clamped over Meg’s face and she said, “Hewe, how dare you sit idle here with work to be done at home? And if you’ve no strength or will for that, then you should be by your brother, praying for his soul, while I can’t.” For the first time, her eyes raked the players. “Least of all should you be found with these folk. You don’t belong here, not with them. Come with me.”

“Aw, but Mam-” Hewe started.

But Meg was already by him, grabbing him by the ear. “Don’t you speak back to me!” She twisted and he came to his feet making sounds of pain. “Come along! I can’t trust you to do what you ought, can I? Well, there’s chickens to catch, and be killed and plucked, and you can help. Hush, hush that noise! I don’t understand how you can be so wicked. Can’t trust you an inch! You come along with me!”

She stopped by the door long enough to bob a clumsy curtsey in Frevisse’s direction, and Hewe grimaced an apology to Piers, then they were gone.