The Sisters of the Crescent Empress

Chapter 12: Merile

Sleep. I can’t sleep. My companions snore between Alina and me, keeled over on their backs, with their tiny paws propped up, their tongues lolling out of their parted mouths, their bellies bursting full. The air smells of musk and wet fur, but it’s not my stinky sillies that keep me awake. It’s Alina.

My little sister was so very upset after the Ball. She cried for what must have been two hours, but wouldn’t tell me why. She might have just been tired from all the excitement. Or she might have been afraid of the gagargi and the Great Thinking Machine, and who can really blame her when he as much as admitted to wanting to feed her soul to the machine! But I don’t think it was a case of either. I’ve seen her cry enough times to be able to figure out what ails her.

Creak. There’s a creak where before there was only silence, a long and sullen creak. It’s the drawing room’s door. Someone has pushed it open.

I stare over the blanket’s edge at the door Captain Janlav locked behind him. I grip it with both hands, knuckles white, unable to move. Are Captain Ansalov’s soldiers coming for us, in the middle of the night when Papa can’t see what comes to pass? Is this what Alina somehow sensed? She knows more than she tells us.

The door creaks again. Now, it’s being pushed closed. Ha! People don’t close doors behind them when they’re up to no good. I’m no longer at all afraid. Really, I’m not. I want to know who’s in the drawing room.

“Rafa, Mufu.” I keep my voice low because I don’t want to wake up Alina. My sillies continue snoring. And smelling.

Groan. The long floorboards groan under the steady, cautious steps that don’t belong to any of my sisters. Whoever walks in the drawing room doesn’t know the silent path. I shall call them “mystery visitor.”

“Mufu.” I curl up and poke at my pretty companion. She flinches awake, but remains lying on her back. Her belly is so full it might just split open. “Watch over Alina, will you?”

Mufu’s tongue disappears inside her mouth as she glances sideways at Alina. My sister is crying in her sleep. She hinted that she’d done something she shouldn’t have done, but I’ve no idea what she meant because she refused to tell me more. “Just watch over her.”

Mufu snuggles closer to Alina. It’s safe for me to get up and investigate. And this time around, I’ll be careful. I won’t leave the room, not that that’s an option, because Celestia has the key ring. Really, I won’t be placing my sisters at risk even in the slightest.

Tiptoe. I tiptoe to the door and press my ear against the panel. The creaks are closer now, as if the mystery visitor were hesitant to go through with their plan, whatever that might turn out to be. And what could it be? I have no idea.

The steps stop, not behind this door, but before… At first I’m not sure, and then I am, because we’ve been locked in this house for so long that I’ve learnt to recognize every screech and sigh of every room we’re allowed in. The mystery visitor stands before Elise’s door. How curious! Who would have anything to say to Elise in the middle of the night? She’s become friends with some of the guards, but surely whatever they have in mind can wait until morning!

There’s a knock. Short and short. Long and short.

I hold my breath, excited, but nervous, too. Is Elise awake still? Sometimes she cries at night, even though she smiles through the days. Though lately, there’s been less smiling and more arguing. Celestia and Elise think that Alina and I are too young to realize that they’re fighting. Or not fighting. Disagreeing and avoiding each other. It started after the gagargi left. No, maybe even before that. Can it have something to do with him claiming that Elise had plotted against Mama and funded the revolution? But Sibilia said it was all lies. She did say that.

I hear Elise’s door open, quiet words exchanged, the door closing. Plan. What if my sister has a better plan than Celestia? Irina and Olesia always caution us not to trust our older sisters. I’ve always told Alina not to believe everything the ghosts say. But what if they’re right! What if it’s not Celestia that’s hiding things from us, but Elise!

There’s no time to lose. I dash to the vanity desk’s cracked mirror. “Irina, Olesia.”

My heart pounds and my mouth turns dry. I need the ghosts now. They can go and eavesdrop on what happens in Elise’s room. I can’t.

“Quick.” I tap my fingers against the mirror’s surface. Rafa stirs from her sleep. She stares at me, her big eyes wide. I shake my head at her, lower my voice. “Quick.”

But though I knock on the mirror’s surface, the ghosts don’t appear. Do they tire as we do? They did stay with us longer today than they’ve done in weeks. Toward the end, they looked pale and weary, even more so than Alina.

“Come now.”

And still nothing, not even a whiff of their perfume. It’s agonizing. Do I spend more time trying to lure the ghosts in or… If I wait, I might miss something important. The ghosts might show up later or then not at all. Ah, this is such a difficult call!

I make up my mind and abandon the mirror. I take a spot next to the old armchair and press my cheek against the flaking wallpaper. The walls of this house aren’t particularly thick.

“Please tell me, tell me now”—Captain Janlav’s voice is unmistakable, especially since he’s raised it—“what is this nonsense about none of you going?”

There’s a lengthy pause. No doubt Elise considers what to say. She, too, must think how exactly did Captain Janlav learn of our plan? How did he? Surely no one has told him that it was Celestia who sent the gagargi away empty-handed, that she’ll do so again and again until he lets us walk free.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Elise finally replies. I’d have said the same thing.

Two hasty steps. “Don’t you take me for a fool! Oh, sweet woman, don’t you dare to take me for a complete and utter fool!”

Silence. With my ear pressed against the wall, I can keep an eye out for Alina and my companions. She sleeps still, but Rafa and Mufu are wide awake. They’ve managed to roll over onto their swollen, round bellies. If I were to summon them, they’d obey at once, though they might not move terribly fast.

“Elise,” said in a much softer voice. I shake my head at my companions. I’m not afraid. Elise is seventeen. She can take care of herself. “Do you think I have come to you now, in the middle of the night, to punish you? Do you really think so? Answer me, woman. Do you really think so?”

“No.”

Maybe I should feel guilty for eavesdropping on a conversation that might be meant to be private. But I don’t. I know what I’m told and nothing more—I deserve to know the rest. I shall listen with great glee.

“Good.” I imagine Captain Janlav as he must be, standing with his heels together, hands clasped behind his back, staring sternly at my sister. “I’m here to warn you as a friend. The game you and your sisters play is dangerous.”

“Dangerous,” Elise laughs. She’s upset. I’d be upset, too, if someone barged into my room and started blaming me for things. “What a funny thing to say! Tell me, has there been a moment since my sisters and I boarded the train, since we arrived in this house, that we haven’t been in danger?”

Silence. Thin and stretched, a very uncomfortable sort of silence.

“It’s true that you have been in a certain degree of danger, but I have been always there to protect you.”

“That you have,” Elise admits, but she’s not terribly pleased about it. Or she is, but she also sounds bitter.

Captain Janlav starts pacing the room, his steps taking him past the spot where I listen. He wouldn’t be happy if he learnt that I’m listening to them talking. Too bad for him, but I, if anyone, know what it feels like not to get everything I want. And yet, I hardly ever rant about that.

“If Celestia refuses to go, you will no longer be my responsibility.”

This is something I didn’t know. Elise mustn’t have known this either, because she asks, “Whose, then?”

Another annoying pause in their conversation. This one being of the foreboding sort.

“Captain Ansalov’s.”

My knees buckle, and if I weren’t leaning on the wall already, I’d do so now. Captain Ansalov is a cruel and ruthless man. He would have ordered me shot if Celestia hadn’t intervened that night when I followed the magpie. But since the gagargi left, my sister has been very tired. Though she’s the empress-to-be, I don’t know if she could save me, us again.

“Do you know what his commands are?” My sister’s voice is steady, though she, too, must be terrified.

“That’s the very thing I wanted to warn you about.”

“I see,” Elise says. I want her to say so much more. Celestia promised us that either we all go or all stay. But Captain Janlav’s words imply that neither option is really possible, that something really bad might happen to us if…

The realization rolls upon me like an imperial freight train, squeezing me under the clanking wheels and tons of iron. What if the ghosts were right all along? What if we really can’t trust Celestia? What if she brokered a secret deal with the gagargi, one that she’s too ashamed to admit aloud?

On the other side of the wall, Elise remains silent. Maybe she’s realized the same thing, and now she’s too frightened to do anything else. If I were in her shoes, I mightn’t be able to speak either without my voice wavering.

“Elise…” Captain Janlav sighs so deep the floor squeaks under his boots. “This isn’t only about you and your sisters.”

Elise is the most graceful of us. I can’t be sure if she really moves toward him, but I imagine her doing so. I also imagine her saying a very different thing than: “I know.”

First Celestia and then… No, Elise is just upset. That must be it.

“You say so,” Captain Janlav says, “but I’m not certain that you do. If Celestia doesn’t return to him, there will be no end to the civil war.”

I close my eyes because this is too much. Memories of the burning villages we passed on our way to Angefort return to haunt me. Ash. I can still smell the burning logs and ash, lost homes, lost lives, too. And then there is the news my seed brought to this house, the battles waged, people being shot or their souls ripped from their bodies. It feels to me Captain Janlav is blaming us for that, and it’s more than a bit unfair.

Yet Elise replies, “I know that, too.”

I stare at my companions, shocked. They look back at me, unshocked. It can’t be true. The gagargi is to blame for everything. My sisters and I have done nothing wrong! How could we when we’ve been trapped in this house for half a year?

“If you were the empress, what would you do?”

I wait for Elise to say that she’s not, that it’s not for her to choose. But instead there’s a silence longer than any before. And I do wonder then. Sibilia insisted that what the gagargi said on that rainy day in the dining room about Elise was simply twisted lies. But could it really be that what I heard with my very own ears was true all along, that my sister did indeed side with gagargi and betray our mother?

And us.

Truth. Now that I’ve guessed what my older sisters are hiding, or most of it in any case, I expected everything in this world to look different. But in the morning, the tables and chairs of the drawing room remain where we left them the night before. There’s no sign whatsoever of Captain Janlav’s visit. Or there kind of is.

Leftovers. As I munch the leftovers from the Ball, soggy triangular cucumber sandwiches, hardened tiny sweet rolls, and softened meringues, none of my sisters speak. Even little Alina is uncustomarily silent as she toys with Rafa’s tail. My older sisters sip the hot tea and swirl it in the chipped cups. Millie has taken away the punch, but there are red spill marks on the white tablecloth and the floorboards are sticky. The maple leaves have dried and crumbled into red fists. I don’t like how they look.

When the swan clock strikes eleven, Celestia retreats to the divan before the fireplace. She says, “My sisters, today we shall not dance.”

Elise and Sibilia nod in agreement, and even I’d guessed as much. Black dust stains our hems. There will be no more music in this house. Though it’s not my fault the discs broke. Really, it’s not. What was I supposed to do? Stop playing them midway through the Ball?

Celestia lies down on the divan, tired from dancing. Or from keeping track of her numerous lies. Elise resumes darning her stockings on the padded chair next to the gramophone. She glances at Sibilia, who cradles the book of scriptures on her lap, on the sofa before the tall mirror. Elise’s lips are drawn into a spurious smile, and she’s got thick blue circles around her eyes. I’m sure that even if I were to ask her why, she wouldn’t tell me.

“But we shall resume the practices tomorrow,” Elise states matter-of-factly. “Shall we not?”

Sibilia nods, maybe agreeing to more than dancing, but how would I know? Maybe all of our older sisters have been lying to Alina and me! Now that I think of it, ever since we left the Summer City, they have been exchanging meaningful glances and nods and shakes of heads when we’re present. Not really telling us anything.

“Yes, of course we shall,” Celestia replies.

I herd Alina to the carpet, to play with Rafa and Mufu. She’s been wiping her cheeks too often this morning. But this time around, I can’t tell her it’s going to be all right. Not now that I know what she did. I figured it out last night. She’s the one who accidentally revealed our plan to Captain Janlav! Even she, my sweet little sister, has been keeping secrets from me!

“Up,” I whisper. I can’t stand this anymore. I simply can’t. “I need to get up for a moment.”

Rafa and Mufu bounce to me. They wag their tails and stretch their backs, thinking we’re about to go out. Though of course we’re not going to do that. It’s not yet the time for that. It’s never time for anything in this house. Besides, my companions need to stay and keep Alina preoccupied. “You. You stay with Alina.”

Ghosts. I need to talk with the ghosts about what I heard and realized last night. I don’t yet know how I’m going to do that with my sisters present in the room. Maybe the ghosts can read my lips. Or my mind. But I do need to consult with them as soon as possible. It may be that they’re the only ones who have been telling me how matters really stand, though I suspected otherwise for such a long time.

I slowly circle the room, holding the silver hand mirror before me. My sisters are too distracted to take note of me, Celestia napping, Elise busy with the needle, Sibilia immersed in her own secrets. Though she has the book of scriptures propped on her lap, she’s not reading Papa’s words. She’s hiding a letter. I have no idea whom it’s from or what it contains. I want to know the answer to both.

As there’s no sign of the ghosts, I might as well.

“Sibilia. Sibilia, tell me…” I trail off as she glances at me from over the book’s edge, chewing her lower lip. She’s not sure what she’s reading either. Wrong. Maybe she’s only been wrong about everything and not intentionally misleading me.

Sibilia stares at me, at the hand mirror. She knows what I’m looking for. But this morning, she doesn’t care about the ghosts. She returns to her letter, has no idea of the plots weaved right before our noses!

“Never mind.”

I circle the room again. Ghosts. Where are the ghosts? I want to, need to talk with them. I don’t have anyone else to turn to for advice. My older sisters never tell me anything. Or if they tell me something, it’s not everything. And I can’t bear this anymore, not after Captain Janlav as much as confirming what the gagargi said about Elise was true, not with knowing that Celestia, the very empress-to-be, has been conspiring with the gagargi behind our backs!

Darkest. I visit even the darkest corner of the drawing room and stay there for quite a while, despite the draft and the heavy shadows falling on me. I don’t deserve to be kept in the dark like this, not when I have no, or almost no, secrets from my older sisters. I’ve had it with them lying to me! I’ve simply had enough! Whom am I supposed to trust when both Celestia and Elise have betrayed us?

But it’s only on the fifth round around the room that the ghosts at last appear, in the tall mirror above Sibilia’s sofa. They’re barely more than mist. They must be exhausted from the dancing, too. Or from more than that.

I wave at the ghosts, invite them to join me, and retreat to the window closest to our rooms. Rafa and Mufu halt their play, one paw up, staring at me. I shake my head at them. Help. I don’t need their help now. Or I do. They should stay with Alina. Even if this conversation kind of concerns her, too, my little sister is too young and frail to take part in it.

“How kind of you to join us,” I greet the ghosts, turning around with the silver mirror held up so that I can spot where they decide to take shape. There, on my both sides.

Irina arches her brows at my tone. Angry. I didn’t mean to sound angry at them. Or maybe I did. Does it even matter?

Olesia lowers her palm on my shoulder. She eyes me from head to toe. “My dear, you look positively vexed.”

Point. Straight to the point, and that’s what I need. Though I don’t usually talk with the ghosts when my older sisters are present, today they’re so deep in their own thoughts that if I keep my voice low, they won’t notice a thing. Besides they’ve conducted their own secretive business unabashedly in my presence for months. “I am.”

“Why?” Irina asks, curious.

“Right. You were right about Celestia and Elise.” And I tell the ghosts briefly about the night before, Elise’s mystery visitor, who turned out to be none other than Captain Janlav, and the following conversation, the accusations that my sister didn’t deny, and the revelation that made me suspect that there’s more to Celestia’s plan than what she’s shared with us. It wasn’t Gagargi Prataslav who lied, but Elise! And Celestia has been conspiring with him toward her own ends!

“I knew it!” Irina clutches her fist against her heart. Olesia puffs her cheeks and seems to be holding her breath. “You cannot ever trust the older sisters!”

“What should I do?” The reflection shimmers. I realize my hand is shaking and the mirror shakes with it. Still. I force my hand to still. If neither Celestia nor Elise have our best interests in mind, then it’s solely up to Rafa and Mufu and me to protect Alina.

“You must confront them,” Irina says.

“When?” I whisper. I really can’t call out my older sisters responsible to their actions when Alina is present in the room. Or can I?

“You are also an older sister.” Olesia glances at Alina, who’s playing with my sillies, so blissfully unaware of Celestia’s and Elise’s deceitfulness. “As a younger sister, what do you yearn for the most?”

“Truth.” For there’s still a chance, no matter how slight, that I may have drawn the wrong conclusion. I reply without hesitation, “I want to know the truth.”

“Merile…” Elise’s voice jitters, but she’s not really concerned about me. I bet she’s worried that I’m on the trail of her shady plans. “Is something the matter?”

Did she hear me talking? Would it make any difference anymore if she did? One look at the ghosts suffices to confirm the answer. I spin around. My ankle jolts. “Yes. Many things, in fact.”

And then all my sisters are staring at me. Alina, with her deep-set eyes wide, has of course noticed the ghosts. Sibilia must have guessed as much, for she presses the book of scriptures shut. Elise and Celestia don’t have a clue about the ghosts, and that serves them right.

“What is it, dear?” Elise wants to know.

Well, I’ve been told you shouldn’t feel sorry for getting something you ask for. And she’s definitely asking for it. “The gagargi really didn’t lie. You schemed against our mother! And you’re still thinking about siding with him!”

Elise stares back at me, her expression completely unreadable. My heart beats hollow notes. I wish her to raise her voice at me, be mad at me, tell me that I’m but a foolish child who’s got everything mixed up.

But that she doesn’t do. “Indeed, he didn’t lie, and I don’t regret deciding to make the world a better place for our people, for funding hospitals and orphanages, for supporting the troops that marched against their lords and ladies to put an end to their tyrannical rule. And yes, given even a half chance, I would do it again.”

Her reply stuns everyone: Celestia, who must have known about this for a long time already, Sibilia, who obviously didn’t suspect a thing, and Alina, who stares intently at our sister, or more exactly, her shadow.

“Huh.” Irina drags her knuckles against her teeth. “That I didn’t see coming.”

“Me neither,” Olesia agrees. “That girl is wicked.”

And I guess that that is what Elise really is behind her faked smile and cheerfulness. I can see that clear at last. The question to ask is: is Celestia, too, someone else than she pretends to be?

There’s only one way to find out.

“And you…” I stomp to Celestia, who sits with her back so very straight on the divan’s edge. Captain Janlav’s understanding about the deal she brokered with the gagargi differs significantly with the one she shared with us. “You lied to us about the plan, didn’t you? You said either we all go or no one goes. But that’s not the truth. You’re going to save yourself and abandon us here, aren’t you?”

“That is a very long list of questions,” Celestia states. She slowly pushes herself up, blinks once, twice, as if chasing away dizziness. It takes her a considerable effort to get up on her feet. Regret. I regret charging upon her like this when I know she’s still weak from facing the gagargi. But also, I don’t. “I shall do my best to address your concerns.”

I stagger back, for I expected fierce denial. And my oldest sister is so tall, so white, so much more than any of us, that at that moment I’m convinced that she never made a secret pact with the gagargi, that she indeed has a subterfuge to get us all away from here, away from his reach, a way of turning the world back to what it should be.

“My sisters, I will tell you the state of matters that I know to be true for certain.”

And that’s exactly what she does, and we listen to her, spellbound, Elise from the padded chair, Sibilia from the sofa, Alina from the carpet alongside with Rafa and Mufu. The ghosts hover to flank me, and I stand my ground as my sister finally reveals the truth.

The gagargi wants Celestia, the empress-to-be, to appear by his side at the autumn equinox. Hearts. He believes that if she were to stand by his side, he would win over the hearts of our people.

“If you were to do so,” Elise interrupts our sister, not exactly hesitantly. Rather like she’d said the same words many times before without really being heard. “The civil war would end.”

“Words of a traitor,” Irina whispers in my ear, though war means bad, bodies scattered in mud and worse, and ending it sounds good to me. In principle, at least.

Celestia shakes her head slowly, as if she were disappointed in Elise making the suggestion in the first place. “I believe you are mistaken. For I don’t think that he would stop hunting down those who sided with us even if I were to stand by his side. And if I were to do so, it would not be me. My sisters, you must understand that the gagargi also has it within his power to separate a person’s soul partially from their body, to leave behind an automaton willing to obey his every command.”

“I wonder how she learnt of that,” Olesia mutters.

I wonder about the very same terrible thing. I snap my fingers, to summon Mufu. I swoop her up in my arms. Everything’s better with my dearest companion close to me.

“I know for certain he would do this to me, and he would have the shell of a woman left behind do things I would never agree to do.” Celestia strolls slowly to Alina. She leans toward our little sister, to lay a palm on her shoulder. “He would have her feed her sister’s soul to the Great Thinking Machine.”

Tears. I expect to see tears in Alina’s eyes, for these words chill me so bad that I can’t speak. But instead, having heard that her nightmares are what really awaits her, she grins at Celestia. “He can’t have me. You won’t let him have me.”

I don’t understand how she can sound so sure when Celestia has told us so many lies, when I’m more afraid now than I’ve been ever in my life!

Celestia cups our little sister’s face and kisses her on the forehead. Rafa pecks her cheeks. “You are right. I will not let him. I fought him once…”

“Tell us about it,” I plead with her. Powerful. I want my oldest sister to be powerful. Invincible. I don’t want us to be this vulnerable!

Celestia draws away from Alina and turns to face Sibilia. “May I?”

“Why is she asking her opinion?” Irina’s reflection shimmers. “She is the oldest.”

But she’s also my sister. And though I was right about Elise, I’m now pretty sure I was wrong about Celestia. She won’t let harm befall us. She’s far from defeated.

Sibilia nods, and I realize a curious thing. Some secrets are kept so because they belong to other people. How come I’ve never thought of that before?

“Thank you.” And having received our sister’s permission, Celestia tells of the furtive preparations and her confrontation with the gagargi in great detail. The ghosts and I behold Sibilia in wonder. Sure, I’d noticed her reading the scriptures, but I hadn’t realized she’d grown to such power! And at the same time, I’m in awe of Celestia. How brave she was to face the gagargi alone! Though she was strengthened by Papa, there was no way of knowing if the plan would work.

“My sisters, I have kept the true result of our confrontation as a secret from you, and it was not my intention to give you false hope, rather to protect you from the desolateness of utter despair. I mentioned before that either we all go or no one goes. But my spell broke before I could imprint this on his mind. I managed to only convince him to leave and later send for me and one of my sisters.”

“She failed,” Irina states so coldly that my stomach cramps.

Mufu shifts on my lap, sensing my distress. I brush her fur from head to tail, several times in quick succession. The silver of the mirror shines softly under the light of the two chandeliers.

“What did she say before?” Olesia muses at last.

What exactly did Celestia say before? I close my eyes to recall her words. Did she lie about her meeting with the gagargi? No, she didn’t exactly lie, but spoke of another possibility, of sending the gagargi’s men away empty-handed as many times as need be.

“Why didn’t you tell us before?” I ask, because, to be honest, she didn’t gain us that much, regardless of her spell. Just a little more time together, a vague possibility of another chance to fight. “What will you do when he sends for you?”

“Will you gather around me, my sisters?” Celestia asks, sitting down cross-legged next to Alina. Rafa pokes my little sister with her nose, no doubt as baffled as I am to see her still so unconcerned.

Genuine. Celestia’s request sounds genuine enough, and Sibilia does join her on the carpet without hesitation. I decide to do likewise and settle between her and Alina. Elise takes ages to make up her mind. Eventually, she rises up from her chair and glides to take her place between Celestia and me.

“Merile, you asked me what I shall do when he sends for me.” Celestia takes hold of Alina’s hand, Elise’s hand. It’s more than a gesture; a reminder, not a command. I lower the mirror on the floor and reach out for Alina’s and Sibilia’s hands. I can’t recall the last time we were together like this. Was it on the train, after Celestia’s previous plan crumbled?

“I shall do everything that is within my power.”

But what Celestia doesn’t say means more. The ghosts must have realized this too, because they draw away from us, so far away that I can no longer see them in the mirror. They understand that this moment is private.

“Everything,” I whisper. Sibilia closes her fingers firmer around mine. “Everything may not be enough.”

And that’s a terrible thought. We’re the Daughters of the Moon, and Celestia is the oldest. I always thought that that was enough. But now it seems that…

“I do promise you one thing, my sisters”—Celestia meets in turn Alina’s eyes, mine, Sibilia’s, even Elise’s—“I will not let him take you from me. I will not ever leave you behind. Even if it will cost everything I hold dear in my life, nothing in this world, under the gaze of our celestial father, is as important to me as you are.”

My eyes moisten. I sniff, because I’m twelve, and I don’t cry. But Sibilia tears up openly and gasps for ragged breaths. Alina squeezes my hand. I echo the movement to Sibilia, and that’s where the comforting ends, because Elise has remained unmoved all along.

Celestia has failed us. Fair. It’s not fair to say so, because she tried, has tried as hard as anyone. And the reason she hasn’t told us any of this before is that…

“She was protecting them.”

I flinch so hard both Alina and Sibilia turn to stare at me. The hand mirror on the carpet shows nothing but my reflection. I shouldn’t hear the ghosts. I study my sisters to see if they, too, heard Olesia’s statement. Yes. Sibilia definitely did.

“I know,” Irina replies. From the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of the ghost rubbing her chin. I quickly turn to behold Mufu. Wrong. It feels wrong to look at the ghosts when they think themselves invisible. “And don’t I know it well.”

“I… I’m not sure if I should say anything,” Sibilia mumbles. I’m happy it’s her speaking, that if someone will betray the ghosts, it’s not me. She and me and Alina share a secret that doesn’t really belong to us, that isn’t ours to lay bare.

“Do speak,” Celestia urges our sister. “This is the council of sisters. I will not shun anyone for challenging me.” And with the last words, she turns to Elise. The traitor.

“You said…” Sibilia’s hand turns clammy in mine. Let go. Even so, I won’t let go of her. “You said that you mightn’t be able to defeat the gagargi as a Daughter of the Moon, but how about… That is, I’m no gagargi, but I think… Do you think you could defeat him as the Crescent Empress?”

What. What is she talking about? I stare at Sibilia, with my mouth hanging open. The ghosts stare at Sibilia, too. Celestia mentioned Sibilia learning a spell on her own, but could she really perform the most sacred of ceremonies?

“I’ve found a spell in the scriptures.” Sibilia blushes furiously. Sweat buds on her forehead. Somehow, her red hair blazes more than it did last night. “If I had a swan soul bead, I might… But it’s silly. Forget I spoke at all. We don’t have one. Really, just forget my speculations.”

“Irina…” Olesia nudges her sister. They’re hovering right behind Sibilia now.

“Yes,” Irina snaps. “Yes, I know.”

“Look at them, Irina, the poor daughters. Do you really want their deaths on your conscience? What use do we have for it in any case anymore? We are as good as dead! Worse than that!”

Impossible. The ghosts are arguing so loud that it’s impossible to ignore them anymore. Alina winces, shakes her hands free, and presses her palms over Rafa’s ears. I hold on to Mufu with my thus freed arm. The ghosts’ secret is not mine… “Anyone. Anyone who wants to speak can speak?”

“Anyone,” Celestia replies, but her attention lingers on Sibilia. She’s thinking our sister’s words, as if she still knew more. “Anyone present in this room.”

“Please, Irina.” Olesia tugs her sister’s arm. I don’t know why they’re so very present. Or I do. They’ve been fading for weeks, but now they’re losing control of both their souls and shadows. “She is not like our sister. She would never abandon the girls. I know it in my heart as surely as I have ever known anything.”

“Merile?” Celestia beholds me. She really wants to hear what I have to say. She’s treating me like an adult. Which means I should act like one.

“Anyone present in the room, did you hear that?” I say loudly, hoping Irina and Olesia realize I’m talking to them. Nervous. I’ve never been this nervous. The ghosts have always been able to hear us, even when we can’t see them. But it’s a different thing to listen than to hear.

“Fine then.” Irina sniffs, straightening her back. “Show yourself to them if you so wish. But if you turn out to be wrong, I shall never let you forget it.”

Olesia beams. She shuffles hurriedly to the tall mirror, and upon seeing herself in the reflection, pats her bun and fixes an escaped gray lock. “You shall not regret this.”

“Mirror,” I whisper. “Celestia, Elise, look at the tall mirror.”

Elise rises up first. Yet it’s not her who offers Celestia a hand, but Sibilia. When all of them stand before the mirror, Olesia greets them with a warm smile. It’s only after that that Irina glides to her sister.

Celestia nods as if she’d already known about the ghosts, but how could she? Elise is properly taken aback. That’s what it feels like to be revealed a secret! Alina waves at the ghosts, cheerfully greeting them now that they really want to be seen. I take hold of her hand, and we dash to join our sisters with Rafa and Mufu.

“Greetings.” Celestia bows her head at the ghosts. “Honored Irina, honored Olesia, it is a long time since we last met.”

The way she speaks… She knows the ghosts from the time before they became ghosts. How curious! And how many secrets has she got hoarded under that untouchable façade of hers?

“You were such a sweet little girl.” Olesia pinches my sister’s cheeks. Yes, they’re familiar with each other. But even so, Irina remains still, a displeased frown on her steep forehead. “Look at you, all grown up! The oldest Daughter of the Moon! The empress-to-be!”

“Dear Olesia,” Celestia replies, cheeks red, though the ghosts can’t really touch us. “That is unfortunately all I shall ever be. I assume you heard us talking.”

“Oh, we did,” Olesia reassures her. She has no idea that Alina, me, and Sibilia saw and heard her and her sister, too, and it’s better that way.

“You.” Irina turns sharply to Sibilia. “Can you really perform the ceremony?”

Sibilia shifts her weight, wipes her palms on her hem. “I…”

“Speak up,” Irina commands. “This is important.”

“Perhaps,” Sibilia replies. Irina glares up at the ceiling as if begging mercy from Papa. My sister draws her shoulders back and seems to grow in height. “Yes. Yes, I believe I can.”

“Good for you then,” Irina replies.

For a moment, I think this is it then. Everything. But then Celestia addresses the ghosts. “Irina, Olesia, you had a swan soul bead once. Will you tell us where you hid it?”

Indeed my sister knows many secrets. But even I realize that this one is dangerous. Swan soul beads are valuable, and stealing one… I’m happy to be distracted by the ghosts conferring.

“Shall we?” Olesia wraps her fingers around her sister’s thin arm. “I would very much like her to become the empress. I don’t like the looks of this gagargi at all. They should not need to consider siding with him to survive.”

Irina casts a pointed look at Elise. I know what she’s thinking. Elise can’t be trusted anymore. But Celestia can. “Fine.”

My sisters and I wait for her to continue, to give us hope. Anything.

“Look up,” Irina simply says. “Look up at the shimmering lights to find the sacred swan.”