The Sleeping Beauty Killer

75

Alex answered the door himself. She saw no sign of Ramon. He gave her a quick hug but it felt chilly.

“Thanks for seeing me,” she said.

“Of course,” he said briskly, leading the way to the living room. “Can I get you something?”

She shook her head and took a seat on the sofa, leaving a spot next to her. He sat on a chair across from her instead.

“Alex, I know you said you needed time to think, but the silence is driving me crazy. They say never go to sleep angry. We haven’t spoken in two days.”

“They say that about couples who are married, Laurie. We’re far from that, aren’t we?”

She swallowed. This was going to be even harder than she’d expected. “No, but I thought-”

“You thought that I’d wait for you, however long it took. That’s what I thought, too. But when I needed time-just a few days to think about how you and I might fit together, with our work, with our lives-you couldn’t let me have it. Instead, you’re here, demanding something I’m not sure you even want.”

“I’m not demanding anything, Alex. I’m sorry I pressed so hard about Mark Templeton. You’re right; I should have trusted you when you said to leave it alone. I just want things to go back to how they were before this case.”

“To how they were? And how exactly was that? Where were we, Laurie? What are we now that I’m no longer your host? I’m your dad’s sports buddy, your son’s pal. But what am I to you?”

“You’re-you’re Alex. You’re the only man I’ve met since Greg died who actually makes me wish I could move on.”

“I know this sounds cold, Laurie, but it’s been six years.”

“Please understand that for five of those, I woke up every day in limbo. To even have dinner with another man without knowing who killed Greg would have felt like a betrayal. That’s the space I lived in when you first met me. I’m still learning how to move out of it. But I will, I know I will. I feel myself waking up again. And you’re the one-the only one-who makes me want to do that.”

Time seemed to stop while he looked at her in silence. She couldn’t read his expression. She forced herself to breathe.

“I wanted to think it was just a matter of time, Laurie. I really did.”

She couldn’t help but notice that he was using the past tense. No, she thought, please don’t let this happen.

“I was willing to wait as long as it took. But this… thing that happened with your show is troubling. I just can’t ignore it. We’ve both been telling ourselves that it’s all going to work out in time, but maybe the problem is that you just don’t trust me.”

“I said I’m sorry. It’s not going to happen again.”

“But you can’t control your own heart, Laurie. Greg was a hero. He saved lives in an emergency room. You were his one true love. Then you had Timmy to make you a family. And I’ve seen how you worship your father, too, who’s also one of the good guys. He fights crime and helps victims. And that’s what you do now with your show. But who am I? Just some lonely bachelor who makes a living as a hired gun, defending the guilty.”

“That’s not true-”

He shook his head. “I certainly don’t think so, but you do. Admit it, Laurie: you’ll never admire me, not like Greg. So you can keep telling yourself you’re trying to move on. But you won’t. Not until you find the right person, and then it will just happen. It will be effortless. But this?” He gestured between the two of them. “This has been nothing but effort.”

“What are you saying?”

“I care for you deeply. I loved you deeply. I probably still do. But I can’t wait in the wings forever. Now I think it’s time for us to stop trying. I’m letting you go.”

“But I don’t want that.”

Alex let out a sad laugh. “That’s not how the whole ‘if you love someone, set them free’ thing works, Laurie. You don’t get a say in this. If you ever feel like you’re truly ready to be with me, let me know and maybe we’ll go from there. But that’s not going to be today, or tomorrow, or next week.”

In other words, he was done waiting.

When he hugged her at the door, it felt like good-bye.

No, Laurie thought, as she stepped into the elevator. This is not the end of this story. I’m ready to live again-not in limbo, but freely and happily, the way Greg would want me to. Alex is the one I want to share my life with, and I’ll find a way to prove that to him.

Alex was about to pour gin into a metal shaker when Ramon emerged from his room. Shooing Alex out of the way, he stepped in to take over.

“Your martinis are always better than mine,” Alex said gratefully.

“I couldn’t help but notice that you were smiling,” Ramon observed. “Did everything go well?”

Alex knew that causing Laurie pain now was the price to be paid for the future.

“This has been a tough case, Ramon,” Alex said, as he reached for the glass Ramon set in front of him. “But I just gave a good summation, and I believe the jury’s going to decide in our favor.”

He leaned back and began to sip the martini.