The Song of the Quarkbeast

The end of the story

No need to panic. We caught the Tralfamosaur – eventually.

Lord Tenbury was as good as his word, and all charges against the sorcerers were dropped. None of those in the daisy-chain faced as much as an interview. The King had learned his lesson by now and for the most part left us well alone – we didn’t really cross swords again until the Spoilt Royal Princess Episode, and the 5th Troll War, of course.

The bridge at Hereford stands there still, and looking at it you would never know that it had ever fallen down and been rebuilt, a testament to the potential of Wizidrical Civil Engineering Projects.

The Magnificent Boo never came to live at Zambini Towers, but we saw much of her in the years that followed, and she continued her research into the Quarkbeast with extraordinary results. Tchango Muttney and Dame Corby became full members of Kazam and were elevated to ‘Amazing’ status the following March, the same time as Lady Mawgon became ‘Astonishing’ and Moobin ‘Remarkable’. iMagic was disbanded, and although we did eventually bring the mobile phone network back online, it had to wait until after we had finished reactivating medical scanners, radar and microwave ovens.

Prince Nasil and Owen of Rhayder were grounded for a number of months until we managed to source some angel’s feathers to rebuild their rugs – something that became a small adventure in itself. Mother Zenobia was returned from stone just in time for her to go back to stone for her ‘afternoon nap’. We still see much of her, and value her wise counsel.

Perkins is still learning as he works, and as far as I can see, learning well. For her stalwart yet rash bravery during the final Blix showdown, Smantha Flynt was granted a full cadetship at Kazam, ‘no matter how long it took’. She has still to get her magic licence, despite the Useless Brother’s insistence that she should have a licence anyway, ‘for being so utterly captivating’. She has turned him down for marriage sixty-seven times, proving perhaps that she is not quite as stupid as we think.

Tiger is still learning about running the company, and if Zambini does not appear by the time I am eighteen, will take over from me then. He will be good at it, and likely better than I.

As for the once All Powerful Conrad Blix, we donated him to the Hereford Museum, where he can still be seen to this day. His perfidious exploits are outlined for all to read, and his unseeing granite form is insulted and derided by the many schoolchildren who pass him every day. His attempt to murder half the residents of Hereford and seize the throne is often talked about, and his lack of compassion, rampant greed and murderous intent are often compared to those of his mad evil genius grandfather, Blix the Hideously Barbarous.

It’s what he would have wanted.