The Surgeon’s Family Miracle

CHAPTER ELEVEN

FINDING Benjy was easier said than done.

Despite the emotional nuances between Lily and Ben, almost as soon as she thought about Benjy Lily was aware of a wave of unease. Where was he?

As she hurried back to the house she forced herself to rewind the events of the last half-hour. Rosa and Benjy had gone out to talk to Flicker, but then Rosa had hurried back to tell them the helicopter was there. Benjy may well have stayed with Flicker.

But he must have seen the helicopter land, she thought. Wouldn’t he have come back to the house by now?

Ben was by her side but before she reached the house she’d started to run, leaving him behind. ‘Can you check the front of the house?’ she called. She ran up the veranda steps, just inside the back door. ‘Benjy?’

No Benjy.

OK, he must still be with Flicker. She walked back out onto the veranda, expecting to see Benjy on his favourite perch, on the end of the water trough where he talked to Flicker. In these last weeks Flicker had become Benjy’s new best friend; someone to talk to when adults didn’t cut it.

But the trough was bare. He must be in the house, Lily thought, retracing her steps. Had he come in while they’d been trying to save Doug? What had he seen? Benjy had suffered too much trauma for one small boy.

She reached the back door again and started to call, but then she turned again to stare down at the home paddock.

She’d almost missed it. Her eyes had swept the paddock, looking for Benjy. But now… She did another long perusal. There were no other animals in the home paddock.

The other four horses were grazing in the pasture on the far side of the river. It was only Flicker who was kept this side, as Rosa wanted her close for foaling. But the gate at the far side of the paddock was open, and Flicker was gone.

She catapulted down the back steps. Ben came around the corner of the house and she almost ran into him.

‘Whoa,’ he said, reaching out and steadying her. ‘He’s not out the front. Isn’t he here?’

‘N-no,’ she stammered. ‘Neither is Flicker. The gate’s open.’

Ben stilled. Without releasing Lily, he turned to check the paddock.

Nothing.

‘Would he have tried to take her to the river?’

‘Maybe he would,’ Lily whispered. ‘He was so upset about you going. If he and Rosa were getting Flicker ready for her daily walk and Rosa came back inside…’

‘Let’s go.’

Side by side they ran, down the track leading to the pasture where they normally brought the mare to graze. They reached the rocky outcrop at the bend to the horse pasture and stopped dead as they saw the deserted river bank before them.

No horse. No small boy.

‘She’s a strong horse,’ Lily whispered. ‘At the fork in the track even Rosa sometimes has a battle turning her this way. Rosa says she wants to join the other horses.’

‘Closer to the sea,’ Ben said, and they were already moving. ‘Hell, it’s marsh down there. If the horse gets stuck…’

And it seemed that was just what had happened.

For most of its length this river was deep and fast, surging from the mountains to form a swift-running channel, but at its mouth it broadened and shallowed.

On the far side of the river was a rocky incline, delineating the edge, but not this side. Because it was summer and the water from the mountain catchment was less, the width of river had narrowed. There was now thirty or forty yards of river-flat on this side, normally under water but now dry. Or almost dry.

On the far side of the river Lily saw the other four horses belonging to the property. They were staring over the river toward a clump of rocks. For a moment she couldn’t see what they were staring at. And then, appallingly, she did.

Flicker was there, half-hidden by the rocks. Lily hadn’t seen her because she’d been searching for something of horse height and Flicker was now a lot lower than horse height. The mare had taken herself halfway across the flat, trying to reach her companions. And then she’d sunk. She was up to her withers in mud, struggling to free herself from what looked to be an impossible situation.

Her world stilled. Where was Benjy? Dear God, where was Benjy?

But Ben was there before her. ‘Benjy.’ Ben was yelling his son’s name, breaking into a run across the mud, regardless of whether it was safe or not. ‘Benjy!’

‘I’m here.’ It was a terrified wail from behind the horse. ‘Dad, I’m here. Help me.’

She was running almost as fast as Ben. The ground gave a little under her feet, but she was moving too fast to sink. It was firm enough to hold her-just-but it was a miracle Flicker had got this far out.

Ben reached the horse before she did. By the time she reached them he was around the other side of Flicker. And there was Benjy. He was still clutching the halter as if he alone could stop the mare sinking, but the mare’s struggles had made the ground at her head a quagmire. It looked a glutinous mess that had hauled Benjy into it as well as the mare. He’d sunk to his chest, and the mare’s struggles were driving them both deeper.

But Ben had him. He sat on the ground behind Benjy, with his legs on either side of his son. His arms came around Benjy’s chest, and he leaned backward.

‘Don’t struggle,’ he told Benjy. ‘Just go limp in my arms. Let me do the work.’ He looked at the mare. ‘Hush,’ he told her, and crazily the mare stopped struggling for a little. She looked wild-eyed and as terrified as Benjy but maybe Ben’s bedside manner was not bad for horses either.

But Lily had eyes only for Benjy. She sat as Ben was doing-the mud only sucked you in if there was a big weight on a small surface so she presented the mud with her backside. And prayed it was big enough. She was desperate to help but Ben had Benjy fast in his arms, fighting for the mud to give up its prize.

And it did. Slowly, gradually, Benjy was eased outward. Then, wonderfully, as his torso came free, the rest of him came in a rush and Ben sprawled backward, his arms full of mud and boy.

Lily reached for him but Ben wasn’t relinquishing him. They lay in the mud, a tangle of legs and arms and mud and pure emotion. Ben’s small shoulders were shaking with sobs and his face was a blotched and crumpled mess. He lay on Ben’s chest while Lily reached out and ran her fingers through his hair and felt her heart go cold at the thought of what might have been.

‘She kept pulling,’ Benjy sobbed at them, still cradled against his father. ‘I tried to take her to the nice grass but she wouldn’t come. And she keeps sinking more.’

‘Oh, Benjy. It’ll be OK.’

‘It’s not OK,’ Benjy managed, hiccuping on a sob. His small body might be crumpled against Ben, gathering comfort, but he was made of stern stuff, and he’d only slumped a little and now he was pulling away. ‘She’s stuck and we have to help her.’ He bit his lip, trying valiantly not to cry any more.

Enough. This was her baby. Lily sat up and tugged him away from Ben, into her arms. ‘Sweetheart, let’s think about you first. We’ll look after Flicker but we need to check you. Are you hurt? Were you kicked?’

‘N-no. Just stuck.’

‘So nothing hurts now.’

‘My dad pulled me out of the mud,’ Benjy whispered. ‘So I’m OK.’

‘It’s what your dad does best,’ Lily whispered back, holding him close. ‘He’s very, very good at making people OK. Just lucky we had him here, hey?’

There was a moment’s silence. Lily very carefully didn’t look at Ben-but it was a struggle.

‘Tell us what happened,’ Ben managed at last. He was sitting up too now, taking in the full mess the mare was in. Or maybe he was trying not to look at his son. He’d been rocked to the core, Lily thought, and she knew it because she was feeling exactly the same. The only difference was that she’d known she loved her son to bits.

Ben looked like a thunderbolt had hit him.

But Flicker needed them. Ben’s question was waiting to be answered and finally Benjy took a deep breath and told them.

‘Flicker was acting funny when Rosa and me came out this morning. She kept going back and forth by the gate, over and over. Rosa said maybe something’s happening, but then the helicopter came and she said stay with Flicker and she went inside. And no one came and no one came and Flicker was going back and forth and back and forth and I thought I’d start taking her down to the river like she wants. ‘Cos you’d know where I’d be. But she was still acting funny. She was whinnying and looking behind her all the time. And then she came the wrong way. She pulled and pulled and I couldn’t stop her coming here. Then she got stuck and every time she fought I went deeper and I couldn’t get out of the mud.’ His words ended on a frightened whisper. Lily hugged him close and looked at Ben, who was watching them as if…

As if nothing.

‘What can we do?’ This was no time for wondering what Ben was thinking, she decided. She didn’t have a clue. When had she ever?

‘Let’s check.’ Ben edged forward, lying by the mare’s flanks, keeping out of range of the churned mud at her head. She was still for the moment, but quivering in obvious fear. And pain? He ran his hand down her side and he frowned.

‘Maybe she’s in labour,’ he said, and Lily winced and held Benjy tighter still. Mare stuck in mud. In labour?

‘Throw us another complication, why don’t you?’ she demanded, and Ben managed a smile.

‘Sorry. But let’s assume the worst. We need equipment.’

What sort of equipment? Maybe putting the mare down was the kindest option, she thought bleakly. Oh, but Benjy…

‘It’s not time for that yet,’ Ben said, his smile fading, and she knew he’d seen the bleakness of her thoughts. ‘Benjy, I want you and your mother to stay here while I fetch what I need. I want you to stay calm and stay away from the churned-up mud, and I want you to try and keep Flicker calm as well. No more struggling. I’ll be as fast as I can.’

He hesitated, then he moved back to where they sat and touched Benjy lightly on the cheek. Then, with the same muddy finger, he touched Lily. It was a feather touch and why the touch of a mud-caked finger should warm her-why it reassured her that all was well-she didn’t know. But it did.

‘Great beside manner,’ she managed, and he smiled again.

‘The doctor will make it all better,’ he said. ‘Just keep on believing that, you two. But the doctor had better move. I’ll be back as soon as I can be. Stay calm.’

It was all very well staying calm and controlled when Ben was close, but the moment he disappeared it got a lot harder. But she was a doctor, too, Lily decided. So conjure up your own bedside manner, she told herself. Right!

‘We have to stay calm,’ she told Benjy sternly, and they both turned to looked at the mare. Her eyes were wild and fearful, and while they watched, Lily saw a ripple pass over her glossy hide. A muscle contraction? Labour?

Lily had been in some tricky delivery situations before but none surpassed this.

‘Ben will know what to do,’ she murmured, more to herself than to Benjy or Flicker. ‘He’s gone to get what we need.’ What did they need? A crane? Did farms have cranes? She knew the answer to that would be no.

She reached out across the mud and touched the mare’s nose, but Flicker snorted and flung back her head in alarm. ‘It’s OK, girl,’ Lily told her, but maybe the mare heard the lack of certainty in her voice.

‘I sang her a Kira song before you came,’ Benjy whispered. ‘She went down so far I thought she might go all the way. I was scared I’d be pulled down, too, and I didn’t know what else to do so I just held onto her and sang.’

‘That was a really sensible thing to do,’ Lily said, swallowing hard at the thought of the bravery he’d shown. She thought of what sensible things she could do and she came up with only one suggestion. ‘Do you think we could both sing?’

‘OK,’ Benjy said doubtfully. ‘I will if you will.’

So they did, and it was dumb but it seemed to work. They sat on the soft ground in front of the mare-but not so close as to alarm her or be sucked down as well. Lily held Benjy on her knee and they sang together the songs Kira had taught both of them, soft island songs, meant to pacify a child before sleep. They were songs that were meant to murmur that all was right with the world and it was safe.

All wasn’t right with her world, Lily thought, but Ben had saved her son and he’d save the horse as well-she knew it. So she held Benjy tight and she sang until finally Ben reappeared, driving the farm truck. He parked it just in front of where the ground became soft. While Lily and Benjy finished the song they’d started, he climbed from the cab and started unloading gear.

Planks. Lots and lots of wooden planks, each about six feet long. Spades. What looked like tarpaulins.

‘Let’s help,’ Lily said, but Flicker tossed back her head, her eyes fearful again. ‘Benjy, you keep singing while I go to help Ben. She’s your friend.’

‘OK,’ Benjy said. ‘But I’m scared.’

‘Ben’s here now. Flicker will be fine. The best person to be here in an emergency is an emergency doctor. You’ll see.’

By the time she reached him, Ben had almost finished unloading. He smiled at Lily as she approached, the same way he might smile at a terrified patient.

‘We’ll get her out.’

‘You’re as worried as I am,’ she accused, and he gave a rueful smile.

‘I might be.’

‘And if we can’t get her out?’

‘I’ve called the local vet for back-up.’

‘And the local vet would be how local?’

‘He’s half an hour’s drive away.’

‘So he’ll be here in half an hour?’

‘Not quite. He’ll be here half an hour after he delivers a heifer of her first calf.’

‘Oh, great.’

‘I brought the rifle,’ he muttered, and Lily gulped. Um, that was never a back-up plan in her sort of medicine.

‘It’s only if she breaks anything or starts to struggle deeper,’ he said.

‘She can’t deliver a foal where she is.’

‘We don’t know she’s in labour.’

‘I’m sure she’s having contractions.’

‘Right.’ His lips compressed. ‘So we get her out before she has her baby.’

‘How?’

‘Dig,’ he said, and handed over a spade. ‘We’re in this together.’

They were.

They laid planks around the mare, giving themselves a solid place to work. Right. The next thing was to stop the mare sinking further. Ben knelt on one side of the mare and shoved a tarpaulin under her belly, talking softly to her all the time. Lily knelt on the other side.

Flicker’s belly was resting on mud, sinking a little beneath the surface. Ben worked his way in from one side; Lily burrowed from the other; Flicker stayed still and they were able to drag the tarp through.

There were three more contractions as they worked.

‘Now what?’ Lily demanded, struggling to her feet again, a heap of mud coming with her.

‘Now we dig,’ Ben said. ‘Benjy, you keep singing. You’re exactly what Flicker needs. Lily, we’re working down from about six feet in front of her, digging what will act as a ramp outward from her hooves. We’ll be sliding planks in as we dig and then we’ll cover them with canvas. She should be able to get purchase.’

‘Really?’

‘Got any other suggestions?’

‘Nope,’ Lily said, and started to dig.

They worked for half an hour, digging forward steadily. Lily wasn’t half the digger Ben was, but every few minutes they swapped so the trench they were creating was even. Fifteen minutes into the digging, Lily had blisters on blisters but she would die rather than admit it. The thought of the rifle in the back of the truck was the best of spurs.

And all the time Benjy sang, in a high, quavery voice that held the occasional sob. Every time he paused, the horse became agitated again, rolling her eyes, pulling back. Her legs had no purchase in the mud and she’d almost ceased trying to get herself out, but Lily was worrying now about shock.

How did you tell if a horse was in shock?

‘Can we contact the vet and see if we can give her a sedative?’ she asked as she dug.

‘I’m imagining a sedative will cross the placenta, the same as in human babies. Wouldn’t you say?’

‘Yes, but-’

‘I already asked the vet,’ Ben said grimly. ‘No sedative. Let’s just dig.’

So dig they did, forming a sloping hole downward, until they had what was essentially a ramp from close to the mare’s front legs. They left about a foot of mud between the hole and the mare’s legs, deciding they’d break through in one hit at the end, fearing she might lash out.

Finally the hole was dug. Swiftly they lined it with boards and covered the boards with canvas, shoving the canvas under the boards at the ends and the sides so as soon as the horse was on it, her weight would hold it in place.

‘Now we just have to break through,’ Ben muttered. ‘Lily, hold her halter, talk to her, see if you can distract her.’

Ben didn’t want to get kicked, Lily thought, and she was in complete agreement. Neither did he want her to surge forward when only one leg was free.

‘OK, Benjy, we’re into distraction.’

The mare was in obvious pain now. Labour must be advancing. Her eyes were panicked, and Lily thought it was more than being stuck that was panicking her.

She had to distract the mare from pain-and from Ben.

She knelt on the mud to the side of the mare and tugged Flicker’s halter, making her look sideways rather than straight ahead.

‘No struggling,’ she said sternly. ‘Benjy, tell your friend Ben’s trying to help. Flicker, look at us.’ She jerked the halter. ‘Look at us.’

Ben was in the hole. He was scraping at the last of the mud, trying to break through. Nearly there. The last barrier of mud was collapsing down on itself, freeing the mare’s legs.

Flicker appeared not to notice. Her eyes were looking inward. There was a foal in there, battling to come out.

‘OK,’ Ben muttered, and hauled himself up and onto the far side of the hole from Lily. He reached out and grabbed the other side of Flicker’s halter. ‘Let’s get you out, gorgeous. Lily, pull.’

Lily staggered to her feet.

‘Stand aside,’ Ben ordered Benjy.

‘Shall I sing?’ Ben’s face was a picture of bewilderment, fear and the beginnings of excitement.

‘No,’ Ben said. ‘Get behind her and shout. As loud as you can.’

‘Only her front feet are free,’ Benjy said doubtfully, staring at Flicker’s still trapped hindquarters, and Ben grimaced.

‘I know,’ he told Benjy. ‘But she’s a strong horse. It should be enough.’

It had to be enough, Lily thought, for to dig under the abdomen to free the back legs was impossible. It’d be impossible even if they had time. Which they didn’t.

So Lily and Ben pulled and Benjy shouted. For a long moment Lily thought the mare simply wasn’t going to try. There’d be so many sensations hammering the mare now that being stuck in mud would be the least of them. But Lily pulled as if she really believed the mare would come free and Ben pulled, too. Flicker suddenly hauled a foreleg upward, the mud squelching as it released its grip. One hoof hit the canvas-covered wood and found purchase. Encouraged, she tried the second hoof and it, too, found purchase.

‘Now for the big pull,’ Ben murmured. ‘Come on, my beauty.’

‘Please,’ Lily muttered. ‘Please.’

And then it happened. The mare gave one last despairing whinny, found purchase with both hooves and hauled herself forward, with a movement so sudden that Lily sprawled backward in the mud. Ben didn’t stop. The mare was lurching out onto the boards, and Ben was tugging the mare forward, further, further, leading her as fast as he could over the soft ground so she couldn’t sink again. While Lily lay in the mud and tried to regain her breath, man and horse made it to the pasture.

Safe.

Lily lay on the mud and watched them, and smiled and smiled. Benjy came up to her, worried about why she hadn’t risen, and she tugged him down and held him tight and grinned.

‘Wasn’t that the best?’

‘You’re covered in mud. Just like me.’

‘And I love it. Just like I love you.’

‘Oi!’ On dry ground Ben was holding the mare’s head and looking back at them in bemusement. ‘Benjy, could you remind your mother that she’s a doctor. We have a baby to deliver, guys, so if you’re finished wallowing in the mud, maybe you could help.’

What they needed was a nice easy delivery but, of course, that wasn’t going to happen. Flicker was exhausted and distressed to begin with and she hardly had the strength to push.

But Ben had thought past getting the mare out of the mud. He’d filled a couple of huge Thermos flasks with hot water and he’d tossed buckets and rags and rope into the back of the truck.

‘Practically a whole birthing unit,’ Lily noted. ‘But no incubator?’

‘The sun’s incubator enough,’ Ben growled. ‘If we can get it out.’ He glanced at Benjy, who was starting to look distressed again. ‘I meant if we can get it out quickly. Benjy, do you think you can keep these buckets full of clean water? If you took one over to the river and half filled it, then we’d have it ready. We’ll top it up with hot water from the Thermos. That way we can have as much warm, soapy water as we need. Stay on the firmer ground where there are rocks to walk on. Don’t go anywhere near where we’ve been digging.’

‘Sure,’ Benjy said, desperate to be doing something to help.

Lily was the same. She stood in the sun, the mud drying hard on her body, and felt like she needed direction.

It was Flicker doing the work.

‘Hold her head,’ Ben ordered, so she did. Ben cleaned the mare down a little, washing away the worst of the mud. The mare submitted to his ministrations with uneasy patience. She kept looking behind her as if she couldn’t figure what was hurting. And then what must have been a deeper contraction hit. She whinnied a little and sank to her knees, then rolled onto her side.

‘Where’s the vet?’ Lily demanded nervously, as Benjy lugged over his fourth bucketful of water.

‘Why do we need a vet?’ Ben asked.

‘How long do horse labours last?’

‘I have no idea. But let’s not panic yet.’

‘I can’t think of anything else to do.’

‘There speaks a thoroughly competent doctor.’

‘You went to the same medical school,’ she snapped. ‘So what are you doing that is useful? Any minute you’ll tell me to go help Benjy.’

‘It’s better than you both pacing the waiting room,’ he retorted. ‘Maybe you could go buy some cigars.’

‘Or maybe I can just pace,’ she muttered. ‘Hurry up, Flicker.’

‘I’d reckon she’s doing the best she can.’

‘How would you know?’

‘And how would you?’ They glared at each other and Ben put his head on one side and surveyed her, a strange smile behind his eyes.

‘You’re beautiful when you’re panicking.’

‘Shut up and deliver a foal.’

‘There’s no-’

But his words were cut short. The mare gave a mighty heave. A gush of water flowed, followed seconds later by a tiny hoof.

‘Two hooves?’ Lily murmured. ‘Come on.’

Another contraction. No second hoof.

Another contraction.

No hoof.

‘There has to be,’ Ben muttered, worried, and Lily guessed what he wanted before he said it. She emptied a Thermos into the closest bucket, then swished soap round in it, handing the cake to Ben. It couldn’t be harder than a human baby. Could it?

Ben was already soaping his arm. He felt around the tiny hoof and then had to pause until another contraction had passed.

Now.

But it wasn’t now.

‘My hand’s too big,’ he gasped. ‘I’m not as sure of what I’m looking for as I am in human birth. You try.’

She was already soaping. She knelt, then figured she was still too high so she lay full length on the ground and waited for the next contraction to pass.

‘Ease back, Flicker,’ Ben told the mare. ‘Breathe for a bit.’

‘I bet she skipped prenatal classes,’ Lily muttered. ‘Irresponsible ladies…’

And then the contraction was past. Lily soaped her hand some more, then carefully slid her fingers past the one tiny hoof.

Where…? Come on…

Her fingers found another hoof.

Fantastic. There had to be a nose, she thought, and then wondered if it was a front hoof or a back hoof. Did horses come out forward or backward? Was that a nose she was feeling? Whatever, she shoved her fingers as far back as she could, hooked the tiny hoof and hauled it toward her.

Another contraction hit. Her hand was still trapped. She gasped in pain, the sensation that of a vice against her hand. ‘Yike,’ she muttered. ‘Yike, yike, yike…’

‘Benjy,’ Ben was yelling, calling to Benjy to leave his final bucket of water and come back. ‘We think the foal’s coming.’

‘I know what’s coming,’ she muttered. ‘She’s delivering my arm. Don’t you dare call Benjy.’

‘Why-’

‘My language,’ she yelled, as another contraction rolled through. ‘Block your ears.’

The hoof had slithered through her fingers and wasn’t forward enough, but now she had it again. This time she tugged with more certainty. Heaven knew if it was right but it had to come in her direction so why not aim it that way? She just had it where she wanted it when the next contraction hit.

Her hand lifted free. The second hoof appeared like magic. With a nose.

And then…and then a foal slithered slowly out into a brand-new world.

It had been a huge physical effort, as well as an emotional one. Ben looked on as Benjy examined the perfect little foal. The little boy burst into tears and was gathered into his mother’s arms and held.

Ben cleared the foal’s nose and lifted the tiny creature round to his mother’s head so Flicker could nuzzle her baby then lie there in exhausted contentment.

Lily had been lying full length during the foal’s birth and she’d now rolled sideways to give Ben room to work. But she was going nowhere. She hugged Benjy to her as he sobbed and sobbed, and Ben thought this was much more than a foal being born. This was a culmination of all that had gone before-a month of hell.

Or more than that.

He looked down at Lily, bloodstained, filthy, smiling through her tears, holding her son against her breast, cradling him to her, whispering nothings.

He loved her.

He loved them all, he thought. Flicker and foal. Rosa and Doug.

Benjy. His son.

And Lily.

He always had, he thought, and it was such a massive, lightbulb moment that he felt his world shift in some momentous way that he didn’t understand.

But his world hadn’t moved from its axis. It was as if it had settled back onto an axis that he hadn’t known had been missing.

He thought back to something Benjy had said.

My dad pulled me out of the mud, Benjy had whispered. So I’m OK.

His son had needed him and he’d been there. If Benjy needed him again, how could he not be close?

If Lily needed him… It was exactly the same.

And more. He thought then that it was more than him being needed. Because what he felt for them both was a need itself.

He needed them both. They might need him but he needed them so desperately that he could never again walk away.

He hadn’t been there for Bethany, he thought, thinking suddenly of his baby sister. It hadn’t been his fault. He hadn’t been permitted to be there. But he’d loved her and now suddenly the grief for her loss settled, as if something had been explained that had been tormenting him for years.

He’d loved Bethany. It was OK to grieve for her. She wasn’t…nothing.

And with that thought the guilt he’d been carrying for years suddenly, inexplicably, eased.

Today he’d been there for his son. He’d been there for Lily and he would be again, for ever and ever, as long as they both lived.

He needed them. This was his family.

You are my north and my south.

Who’d said that? He’d heard it at a funeral, he remembered. It had been the wife of a sergeant killed in East Timor. The woman had stood dry-eyed and empty, talking to her lost love.

You are my north and my south.

He’d hardly listened. He remembered hearing the words and then consciously deciding that he needed to think about what he was doing the next day. He couldn’t let himself dwell on it.

Because love like that was terrible.

Only it wasn’t. He’d only thought it was terrible.

Today Benjy had called him Dad.

Sure, it might end, he thought as he looked down at his woman and his son. The thought of that was empty, bleak as hell, yet what he’d been doing until now was just as bleak.

To do without that love because one day it might end-that was dumb. He could see it now with a clarity that almost blew him away.

‘It’s not just you,’ he said to Lily, breaking in on the conversation to himself halfway through. ‘It’s more than just you.’

Lily looked up at him, smiling past her son’s rumpled curls.

‘It’s not just me?’

‘I do love Doug and Rosa.’

‘How about that?’ she whispered, and smiled at him.

It was enough. He sank to his knees and stooped to kiss her. But she had her arms full of child and his kiss went awry, as it had to in these crazy circumstances, but, then, he knew his intention.

And maybe she did, too. For she was still smiling, her eyes full of unshed tears but the beginnings of joy not far behind.

‘I need you,’ he told her. ‘Lily, I’ve always needed you. I’ve just been too stupid to see. But what happened today… We’re a family. I know I don’t deserve a second chance but I’m asking you for one. I want to marry you. I want to adjust our lives so we can be together. But I never want to be apart again.’

‘Oh, Ben…’

‘Will you come and live on our island?’ Benjy asked, absorbing Ben’s words and heading straight to what mattered most.

‘Yes,’ he said, and watched as Lily’s eyes filled with tears.

‘Ben, we can’t ask you…’

‘You’re not asking. I’m telling. I’m coming home.’ He bent forward and kissed her on the nose, and then, more surely, he kissed her on the mouth. When they finally broke away they were all smiling and Benjy’s was the biggest smile of all.

‘Kisses are yucky but I liked that,’ he said.

‘Great,’ Ben told him. ‘It’s good that you like it because I intend to kiss your mother just like that every day for the rest of our lives. Once first thing in the morning, once just before we go to sleep and a hundred times in between.’

‘We have a happy ending,’ Lily whispered.

‘I don’t believe in endings.’

‘No?’

‘No.’

‘I think this morning…’ he told her as he gathered woman and child into his arms and held them tight. ‘I think this morning is a happy beginning. Benjy, do you know what a phosphorescent tide is?’

‘No,’ said Benjy, puzzled.

‘It’s when the lights go on in the sea,’ he said. ‘In shallow water it might happen once in a lifetime. Your mother and I saw it but you missed out. So I’ve decided. I need to come back to your island so we can watch out together for phosphorescent tides. I have a feeling that when we’re around, the concept of once in a lifetime is ridiculous. We’ve been given a second chance, and from now, from right at this minute, we’re going to take any chance we’re given.’