The sweet golden parachute

CHAPTER 7

“Boyfriend, I’m about to pay you a huge compliment but you have to shut up while I’m doing this or it’ll come out all wrong. Deal?”

“Deal,” agreed Mitch, who was standing in his kitchen chopping up a mountain of Vidalia onions, a cold Bass Ale at his elbow.

Des was searing the pork chops in a cast iron skillet over high heat, a denim apron over her uniform. In the living room, a fire was roaring in the fireplace and Otis Redding was crying on the stereo. Clemmie and Quirt were dozing on the sofa. His seedlings were germinating under their growlit domes. Life was good.

“So don’t interrupt.” She stirred the stoneground grits, which took forever to cook. “Don’t make fun of me. Don’t gloat. Don’t do any of those other totally annoying things you always do, okay?”

“Gee, this sounds so promising I’m already getting puffed up.”

“Okay, here goes,” she said, taking a deep breath before the words came flooding out. “Claudia Widdifield told me today that when the going gets tough all men run and hide under mommy’s apron. And I realized that you don’t. Emotionally, you’re a very brave person. You’re special that way. And I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate it. Appreciate you.” Des exhaled now. “There, I’m all done.”

Mitch narrowed his eyes at her sternly. “Do you actually think you can just show up here and dump that on me? Get over here right now.”

She slipped into his arms, long, lean and supple, her pale green eyes shining at him.

He hugged her tightly, grazing her lips with his, feeling that same incredible charge of electricity he always felt. “I appreciate you back, Master Sergeant,” he said, his lips moving northward to her ear.

She let out a little whimper. “Are you trying to get busy with me?”

“Can’t help it. It’s spring fever.”

“I thought that was mythical. You know, like leprechauns.”

“Give me your hand. I’ll show you my little leprechaun.”

Des slapped at him playfully. “Sir, I am making you dinner. Behave or I’ll handcuff you to the refrigerator door.”

In fact, dinner was unexpected. She’d arrived without warning, groceries in hand, which was not her usual deal. Not that Mitch minded. It sure beat the hell out of what he’d been planning-a big bowl of his famous American Chop Suey and a DVD of The Three Stooges Meet Hercules. But she usually gave him a headsup. Not tonight. She’d simply shown up with complete dinner fixings and a bottle of Moet amp; Chandon Brut Imperial. Also Justine Kershaw’s manuscript. Des had just broken up a scrape between Bement and Donnie at Justine’s house. Apparently, the fight was nothing serious. But Mitch could tell Des was bothered by it.

“I think you should let me reimburse you for the champagne,” he offered.

“No way.”

“But Moet amp; Chandon costs a fortune. I don’t like you blowing your hardearned paycheck on me. Wait, what am I saying? Yes I do. Only, what’s the occasion?”

“No occasion,” she said firmly, her eyes avoiding his. “I just wanted to make us dinner. Can’t I do that?”

“Any time you’d like-if it involves your smothered pork chops.”

She rested the seared chops on a plate now and dumped the heap of onions into the pan. When the onions were good and caramelized she’d put the chops back in with them, along with some chicken stock, white wine and a sprig of fresh rosemary. This would simmer on low heat, covered, until the meat was practically falling off the bone.

“What is with you and my pork chops?”

“I had a deprived childhood.”

“Your mom didn’t serve them?”

“No, she did. But out of respect for the Jewish dietary laws, she made sure we wouldn’t enjoy them. They were so dry they tasted remarkably like the sports section of the New York Post.”

“Baby, I’m going to need a splash of cider vinegar.”

“Haven’t got any.”

“Sure you have. It’s under the sink-right next to your Cocoa Puffs.”

“Des, is there anything you don’t know about me?”

“God, I sure hope not.”

“How was your day?” he asked as he fetched it for her.

“Way confusing. Claudia Widdifield thinks her mother is losing it, mental healthwise.” Des filled him in about the candy bars in the attic, and Poochie’s refusal to see a doctor. “I’m not a doctor, Mitch. I don’t know whether the lady’s in serious trouble or not. I do know this is about who controls the family fortune. And that Eric seems to think she’s fine.”

“Yeah, like he’s a poster child for emotional security.” Mitch told her how Eric had braced him about Danielle at the Food Pantry. “He practically accused me of being her lover. Can you imagine that?”

“I’d rather not, if you don’t mind.”

Mitch polished off the last of his Bass Ale, swallowing it thoughtfully. “You don’t suppose Claudia is trying to gaslight the old lady, do you?”

“I don’t take your meaning.”

“Do you think Claudia could have planted that stuff in the attic herself?”

“What, to make Poochie appear crazy? Possibly, although some of it’s been up there for years. And I’m still not hip to your ‘gaslight’ reference.”

“You never saw Gaslight? Charles Boyer tries to convince Ingrid Bergman that she’s losing it by dimming the lights on her and then telling her it’s all in her imagination. She won an Oscar for that movie. I’ll have to put it on top of our towatch list, right after The Monolith Monsters.”

Des scooped the chops back into the pan with the fragrant mound of onions, put a lid over the pan and removed her apron. “I’m going to change,” she announced, starting for the bathroom. “Want to open the champagne?”

First, he lit the candles on his little dining table over by the fireplace, and put two more logs on the fire. Then Mitch fetched the champagne out of the fridge and gently worked the cork loose until it popped open. He filled two wine glasses.

By then, she’d emerged from the bathroom wearing that unbelievably sexy little yellow dress of hers. Out of uniform, the resident trooper’s figure was a pulsepounding revelation.

“You are a total hottie, know that?” he said hoarsely, unable to take his eyes off her. “What are you doing with me?”

“Right now, I’m sitting down to dinner with you. After that I intend to use you for my own selfish physical pleasure.”

He held a glass out to her. She took it and they clinked glasses, gazing into each other’s eyes. “What shall we drink to?”

“How about proving everyone in town wrong?”

“I’ll drink to that.”

And so they did. Then they ate. The chops were tender and juicy. The coarsegrained grits balanced them perfectly, as did the bitter mustard greens.

“I’m hearing you dumped me,” he mentioned as he ate.

“I’m hearing you dumped me.”

“Rut Peck’s trying to fix me up with his divorced niece. She’s a dentist.”

“Marge Jewett told me the word is I’m transferring somewhere else. Now where did that come from? Town Hall, that’s where. The powers that be want me gone.”

“They do not. You’ve won them over, Des. And you’re reading way too much into this stuff. It’s just idle village gossip.”

“Mitch, my life is not a reality TV show.”

“To them, it is. I’m Joe Schlub and you’re the sexy bachelorette. They can’t wait to find out whether you’ll stay with me or throw me over for some guy who looks good in a Speedo. That’s life in Dorset. Ignore it. Ignore them. And, whatever you do, don’t let them spoil our evening.”

He got the champagne out of the fridge, refilled their glasses and sat back down.

She took a sip, dabbing daintily at her mouth with her napkin. She had impeccable table manners. In truth, she was the most innately elegant woman he’d ever met. “Mitch, do you think I play favorites on the job?”

“I think you’re very fair. Why?”

“Something that Milo Kershaw said to me today. That there are two kinds of justice in Dorset-one for rich people like Poochie Vickers and the other for lowlife skeegies like Stevie and Donnie.”

“Well, that’s pretty much true, isn’t it?”

“Of course it is,” she said quietly. “That’s how the world works.”

“So what’s bothering you?”

“Milo played the race card,” she confessed, staring down into her glass. “Said that I should know better than to be whoring for the ruling class. Not that he understands my world or me or any other damned thing.”

“Exactly what did you say to the Kershaw brothers-watch your step, there’s a new sheriff in town?”

“I threw in a little tough love. I hate to see people wasting their lives. Mixing it up with Bement Vickers on their first evening home is a notgood sign. What’s up with that envelope Justine gave me? She a wannabe screenwriter?”

“Novelist. I’m doing a favor for Rut Peck. He hates wasted lives, too.” Mitch mopped up the last of the pan juice with his final bite of grits and sat back in his chair, sighing contentedly. “How come you haven’t talked to me about it?”

“About what, baby?”

“This selfportrait you’ve been working on.”

Des stared at him across the little table. “Damn, you scare me sometimes. How did you know it’s a selfportrait?”

“Because you haven’t talked to me about it.”

She turned her gaze toward the fire, swallowing. “I’m not making things easy for you, am I?”

“Des, we really don’t have to talk about this again. There’s a lot for you to consider. I understand.”

“Still, this hasn’t been much fun for you.”

“No, it hasn’t. And if you’d like me to tell you you’re a bad girl, throw you over my knee and spank your bare bottom, I’d be happy to.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you turning kinky on me?”

“Get real. I’m a nice, cleancut Jewish boy. I don’t spank women-women spank me.”

“That is so not going to happen.”

“Then kindly allow me to tell you something else.” He leaned across the table and kissed her lightly. “You’ve had that yellow dress on way too long.”

They left the dishes where they were.

She started up to the sleeping loft with the rest of the champagne. He stopped to grab the royal blue necktie from her uniform. By the time he got up there, she had the bedside lantern lit and the covers pulled down. Her skin gleamed like burnished copper in the golden lantern light as she stretched her smooth naked self out before him, her eyes huge. He gazed at her, transfixed, before he shucked his own clothes at Warp Factor Nine.

“What are you doing with my tie?” she wondered, noticing it in his hand.

“Don’t own one myself. I made a small find on the beach today, and I wanted to share it with you. Do you trust me?”

“You know I do.”

He bent over and gently blindfolded her with the necktie before he opened the nightstand drawer and removed the gull wing feather. “Can you see?”

“Not really. Why, what are you going to?…”

“Go exploring,” he replied, wafting it gently across her belly button. Her stomach muscles fluttered instantly. Then he delicately grazed her tender nipples with it, teasing them. “You okay with this so far?”

“GGaaaah…”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He headed due south with it-toward the back of her knees, between her toes. Then, ever so slowly, he began caressing his way up the soft flesh of her inner thighs. “Oh, hey, you’re not in any hurry tonight, are you? Because this particular expedition may take a while.”

“BBoyfriend,” she gasped, wriggling beneath him. “You take all of the time you need.”

And so he did, igniting a passion that burned so deeply into the night that Mitch became convinced that it was inexhaustible, they were inexhaustible. It seemed as if he’d only just collapsed into a deep sleep when Quirt woke him at fourthirty to be let out. Yawning, Mitch waddled downstairs and let him out, then got back into bed. Des hadn’t so much as stirred. He snuggled up against her, his face buried in her satiny smooth warmth. Instantly, he was asleep again.

He dreamt. Another Maisie dream.

They were hiking a trail together high above Lake Mohonk. Maisie was already on chemo. She had that silk scarf on over her balding head, and those dark circles under her eyes. Her complexion was sallow. And she was so tired she could hike no farther.

She stopped and grabbed him by both shoulders. “It’s too late, Bear. You’re already leaving me. I can feel you leaving me.”

“I’m not, Maisie. I swear.”

“Don’t go! Please, don’t go!”

“I won’t go. I’ll never, ever go.”

But she didn’t believe him. She was still clutching him by the shoulders, shaking him and shaking him and…

With a startled yelp he realized it wasn’t Maisie who had him by the shoulders-it was Des. It was daylight now, and she was standing over him wearing her uniform and her game face. He lay there panting, his heart racing, that same metallic taste in his mouth.

“Damn, what were you dreaming about?” she asked, holding a cup of hot coffee out to him.

“II don’t remember. Why?”

“You were jabbering in your sleep.”

He sipped the coffee gratefully, glancing at his alarm clock. It was just past seven. “What was I saying?”

“Sounded like it had something to with Bosco.”

“Sure, I remember Bosco. Used to drink that when I was a kid. It was chocolatey good. I’ll bet it still is.”

“Mitch, you’re a very weird man,” she informed him, kissing him on the forehead. “But as long as you keep your magic feather around you will never, ever get rid of me. If you change your locks, I’ll break down the door. If you move, I’ll track you down-and break down the door.”

“So why are you all dressed?” he wondered, reaching for her.

“Got to run. I just got paged.”

“What’s up?”

“Grand theft auto. Somebody has stolen Poochie Vickers’s Mercedes.”