The Unusual Life of Tristan Smith

Glossary

EFICAN ENGLISH

angels

to see the angels

, to have an orgasm

ASM

Assistant Stage Manager (standard English)

awert

newspaper advertisement, particularly a small or ‘classified’ advertisement

bandock

nappy or diaper. From Voorstand English

banddoek

ballot

idiot, jerk. From French

ballotter

, ‘to shake up’ — thus, one who has had his brain shaken up

baton

penis

bazooley

1. that which you are passionate about. 2. a prize, jackpot, winning bet. Also:

bazoohley

Benny bouftou

From French colloq.

beni-bouflou

, lit: ‘a blessed eater of everything’

biche-la-mar

sea cucumbers or trepang. Also:

bicho do mur.

Corruption of French

bèche-de-mer

Bride

pint of beer, so named for its foaming white ‘train’

brique bleu

unusually large molluscs (of the Gastropod class) harvested by first century

EC

Efican dyeworks. A source of ‘Efican Blue’. Lit: ‘blue bricks’

cambruce

a hick, farmer, an inhabitant of Nez Noir. Probably a corruption of French

cambroussard

cancerette

cigarette

case-latrine

poor quality red wine. From French

caisse poitrine

, lit: ‘chest-breaker’

cash parole

automatic teller machine card

casserole

a spotlight

couchette

a small bed or crib, sometimes a small bedroom

Croco cristi

untranslatable expletive with origins in first century

EC

cant.

Christi

possibly from Sacristi or Holy Cow,

Croco

from Crocodile

croix cakes

round poppy-seed cakes. The

croix

(French ‘cross’) may have its origins in the cross-hatched pattern of icing

dab

father, dad

demi-botte

gumboot, Wellington. Also:

demi, demon

dos-sack

back-pack

dreck

shit. From Yiddish

Enteralis

any tree of the predominantly Efican genus

Enteralis

facheur

thief. Corruption of French

faucher

, ‘to steal’

frere

comrade

frippes

trousers, threads. From French

frippes

, ‘wrinkles’. Also:

thrippes

ganja

dried leaves of the Indian hemp plant

Cannabis sativa.

From Hindi

gaja

, from Sanskrit

grnja

Gardiacivil

police

gazetted

to be married. From first and second centuries

EC

, when civil marriages were published in the Government gazette

gen

a man, a gent

governor

to work for the governor

is to work for the ruling class, to be a stool pigeon, to be untrustworthy

illico presto

immediately; hurry it up. From Italian

presto

jon-kay

money. From French colloq.

jonc, joncaille.

Also: John Kay

Jules

man in general

Lasto-net

synthetic bandage developed in Efica 370

EC

Lasto-net is the registered copyright of Hellas Enterprises

Leko

an ellipsoidal reflective spotlight

lever man

a burglar specializing in forced entry

lolo

breast. Most likely from French child’s cry for milk,

‘lait, lait’

loup

mad, rabid

meccano

equestrian rig invented by Spencer Q. Stokes to train bare-back riders. A central post supports an arm like the jib of a crane from which the student is suspended

mo-ami

my friend. Corruption of French

mon ami

mobile-amor

sedan chair

mo-chou

common endearment. Corruption of French

mon chou-fleur

, ‘my cauliflower’

mollo mollo

relax, take it easy

Mongrel Day

a warm, overcast, windy day

mo-poulet

common endearment, lit: ‘my chicken’

Moosone

the wet season

mouette

a gull-like bird indigenous to the southern islands of Efica

Muddy

Member of the Efican Democratic Party

mug-wallop

untranslatable abusive term. Probably cant, from first century

EC

musico

a flatterer, a crook. Also: a musician

parsley

pubic hair.

To put the asparagus in the parsley

, to have sexual intercourse

patapoof

a fat person

pea and thimble man

a fairground con-man

penguin

policeman

perroquet

a green drink made from crushed ice, green lime cordial, seltzer. From French

perroqet

, ‘parrot’

petite tente

small tent used by family circuses in islands of Efica

petticon

little cunt (esp. vulg.). Corruption of French

petite con

pissmarie

a nurse (vulg.). From

santamarie

playing card

small fish, usually silver bream

porpoise

penis

rak-rok block

three-dimensional jigsaw invented in Efica, now manufactured under licence in Europe and Voorstand

rikiki

the little finger, an under-sized person, a 4 fl.oz. glass of beer. Corruption of French

riquiqui

ringhard

a bad actor. From colloq. French

ringard

, ‘a real zero’

riveter

a homosexual (vulg.)

roteuse

any effervescent wine, sometimes champagne. Possibly from French

roter

, ‘to burp’

santamarie

a nurse

shapoh

the boss, the person in charge. From first century

EC

, most likely from French

chapeau

shooting star

prostitute

skipjack

fish of the genus

Pomatomus

common in Efican waters

sorcier

(as in

Pin-ball sorcier)

a share trader who uses computers to make buying and selling decisions

sock

car tyre

soup server

an actor who plays small roles

spanker

backside

Sparrowgrass

common name for a tall thin person

spin drier

a woman who extracts money from men. Very strong connotation of ‘drying’ as relating to male ejaculation

Starbuck

first two rows in the Efican circus, traditionally marked with stencilled stars. These seats have backs, hence also:

starback

tarboof

nose

Teuf-teuf

onomatopoeia for sound an old car makes

tin-tin

a dyer. First century

EC

, from French

teinturier

toubib

a doctor. From Arabic

tringler

penis

valsir

backside. From French

valseur

, lit: ‘waltzer’

vedette

a celebrity

vert-walk

narrow band of mown grass between footpath and kerb-side in Efican coastal towns

violin

prison

violiniste

an ex-con

walloper

see

gardiacivil

zine

any printed journal or news sheet. From English

magazine

VOORSTAND ENGLISH

air-kool

air-conditioning

Beanbredie

bean stew, a dish much beloved of Bruder Mouse in the Badberg Tales. See recipe in

Bruder Mouse and the English gjent

bhalam

a string banjo favoured by many Pow-pow musicians, but not known in Voorstand until last century

bhurger

a citizen (Voorstand spelling of the standard English

burgher)

Bhurger-court

one of the two courts of Voorstand; the other, higher, court is the Guildcourt

blikk

1. a car (colloq.) 2. a tin can

bottelier

wine waiter

bullschtool

bullshit

Cyborg

see Simulacrum

deskmajoor

the concierge in a hotel or apartment building, a role often taken by retired soldiers of the Voorstand Armed Forces — hence

majoor

(‘major’) from Dutch. See also

wheelmajoor

, sparkmajoor

Dome

a specially constructed theatre for the presentation of the Voorstand Sirkus

facilitator

someone who earns their living by ‘facilitating’ the illegal entry of aliens into Voorstand

filtreeder

a water filtration tower designed to cleanse the polluted water table of Saarlim City

Folkghost

spirits in the Badberg tales who often appear in times of crisis to impart wisdom to the Bruders

footsack

to go away; (trans.) to kick away, dismiss. Originally

voertsek

from Dutch

voert

, ‘a foot’

gaaf

as in

gaaf-morning

, ‘good morning’, a usage of

gaaf that

does not seem to have existed in old Dutch

Geloof

faith

geld-band

a gold belt or band which marked the magical characters in the Badberg tales. A popular fashion accessory at the time of this history

Ghostdorp

a theme park devoted to historical re-enactments, often located on actual historical sights. From Dutch

dorp

, ‘a town’

gjent

a man. Also:

business-gjent

gjil

a woman

gondel

a water taxi. From Dutch

gondel

, ‘a gondola’

hearth

home, family. Hearth folk are those, whether related or not, who are considered kin. Also:

heart folk

Hollandse Maagd

Dutch Maid

hunning

common endearment, lit: ‘honey’

kak

shit

Kakdorp

lit: shit-town

kanal

canal

karakter

a not easily translatable code of behaviour that encompasses both table manners and moral fibre

klootsac

a disaster. From Dutch, lit: ‘testicle’

(kloot)

, ‘bag’

(sac).

(esp. vulg.)

kraker

a squatter

kraal

corral

landloper

itinerant

liefling

darling, from Dutch

loop-de-loop

an autograph or signature, particularly of a flamboyant nature

Meneer

mister

minebroo

brother

misdaad boy

a member of a gang, lit: ‘crime-boy’

odeklonje

any perfumed toilet water

ootlander

a foreigner. Corruption of Dutch

buitenlander.

Lit: ‘someone from outside our land’

platz

town square

Pow-pow

originally captured soldiers and their families (Prisoners of War) and later illegal immigrants who came to make up the low end of the labour pool.

Pow-pow music

is the distinctive music produced by a large and disparate group

prikkeled

irritated. From Dutch

prikkelen

produkter

Sirkus entrepreneur

raagbol pudding

vegetable pudding in which the thin strips of carrot visible through the dough are suggestive of a mop or a mop of hair. Also:

Pope’s head Pudding.

From Dutch

ragebol

, ‘a mop of hair’

rhyti

a one-stringed fiddle, originally from Africa

Simulacrum

a computer-driven likeness of the mythic animals of the Franciscan Free Church. Abbrev: Simi

Simulation Dome

vid presentation of Sirkus on 360-degree screens, specially designed for export market

Sirkus

an entertainment born of the belief that animals should not be held captive by humans. Originally an ingenious morality tale without animals, finally a sophisticated presentation using laser characters, computer imagery and human performers who are distinguished by their skill and high mortality rate. From English

Circus

sparkmajoor

any of the numerous technicians who operate the computers at a Sirkus. See

deskmajoor

Steeg

alleyway

Stempel

visa, from Dutch

Stempel,

‘a stamp’

swartzer

someone with black skin (esp. vulg.)

Tentdorp

the original entertainment area of Saarlim, lit: ‘tent-town’

trannie

a transsexual

trothaus

a penthouse, normally luxurious. From Dutch

trots

, ‘proud’

Verteller

the narrator of the early Sirkuses of Voorstand. From Dutch

Verteile

r

,

‘story-teller’

vid-glorie

the type of fame that comes from having one’s image broadcast on the vid

Voorwacker

an admirer of Voorstandish popular culture

vote-dokter

originally a political adviser, but more recently a euphemism for someone involved in espionage, destabilization

wheelmajoor

chauffeur. See

deskmajoor

wheel-squirrel

bicyclist, roller-skater, any wheeled human travelling rapidly along a pedestrian thoroughfare

wolkegrabber

lit: a cloud-grabber. From Dutch

wolke

, ‘a cloud’

yardveeg

a janitor in an apartment building. From English

yard

and Dutch

vegen

, ‘to sweep’. Orig.

yardveeger

zee

a large body of water, not usually a sea; a lake