Theirs to Cherish

Chapter One

Three days earlier

CALLIE trembled as she lay back on the padded table and Sean Kirkpatrick’s strong fingers wrapped around her cuffed wrist, guiding it back to the bindings above her head.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” she murmured.

He paused, then drew in a breath as if he sought patience. “Breathe, lovely.”

That gentle, deep brogue of his native Scotland brought her peace. His voice both aroused and soothed her, and she tried to let those feelings wash through her.

“Can you do that for me?” he asked.

His fingers uncurled from her wrist, and he grazed the inside of her outstretched arm with his knuckles. As always, his touch was full of quiet strength. He made her ache. She shivered again, this time for an entirely different reason.

“I’ll try.”

Sean shook his head, his deep blue eyes seeming to see everything she tried to hide inside. That penetrating stare scared the hell out of her. What did he see when he looked at her? How much about the real her had he pieced together?

The thought made her panic. No one could know her secret. No one. She’d kept it from everyone, even Thorpe, during her four years at Dominion. She’d finally found a place where she felt safe, comfortable. Of course she’d have to give it up someday, probably soon. She always did. But please, not yet.

Deep breath. Don’t panic. Sean wants your submission, not your secrets.

“You’ll need to do better than try. You’ve been ‘trying’ for over six months,” he reminded her gently. “Do you think I’d truly hurt you?”

No. Sean didn’t seem to have a violent bone in his body. He wasn’t a sadist. He never gripped her harshly. He never even raised his voice. She’d jokingly thought of him as the sub whisperer because he pushed her boundaries with a gentleness she found both irresistible and insidious. Certainly, he’d dragged far more out of her than any other man had. Tirelessly, he’d worked to earn her trust. Callie felt terrible that she could never give it, not when doing so could be fatal.

Guilt battered her. She should stop wasting his time.

“I know you wouldn’t,” she assured, blinking up at him, willing him to understand.

“Of course not.” He pressed his chest over hers, leaning closer to delve into her eyes.

Callie couldn’t resist lowering her lids, shutting out the rest of the world. Even knowing she shouldn’t, she sank into the soft reassurance of his kiss. Each brush of his lips over hers soothed and aroused. Every time he touched her, her heart raced. Her skin grew tight. Her nipples hardened. Her pussy moistened and swelled. Her heart ached. Sean Kirkpatrick would be so easy to love.

As his fingers filtered into her hair, cradling her scalp, she exhaled and melted into his kiss—just for a sweet moment. It was the only one she could afford.

A fierce yearning filled her. She longed for him to peel off his clothes, kiss her with that determination she often saw stamped into his eyes, and take her with the single-minded fervor she knew he was capable of. But in the months since he’d collared her, he’d done nothing more than stroke her body, tease her, and grant her orgasms when he thought she’d earned them. She hadn’t let him fully restrain her. And he hadn’t yet taken her to bed.

Not knowing the feel of him deep inside her, of waiting and wanting until her body throbbed relentlessly, was making her buckets full of crazy.

After another skillful brush of his lips, Sean ended the kiss and lifted his head, breathing hard. She clung, not ready to let him go. How had he gotten under her skin so quickly? His tenderness filled her veins like a drug. The way he had addicted Callie terrified her.

“I want you. Sean, please . . .” She damn near wept.

With a broad hand, he swept the stray hair from her face. Regret softened his blue eyes before he ever said a word. “If you’re not ready to trust me as your Dom, do you think you’re ready for me as a lover? I want you completely open to me before we take that step. All you have to do is trust me, lovely.”

Callie slammed her eyes shut. This was so fucking pointless. She wanted to trust Sean, yearned to give him everything—devotion, honesty, faith. Her past ensured that she’d never give any of those to anyone. But he had feelings for her. About that, she had no doubt. They’d grown just as hers had, unexpectedly, over time, a fledgling limb morphing into a sturdy vine that eventually created a bud just waiting to blossom . . . or die.

She knew which. They could never have more than this faltering Dom/sub relationship, destined to perish in a premature winter.

She should never have accepted his collar, not when she should be trying to keep her distance from everyone. The responsible choice now would be to call her safe word, walk out, quit him. Release them both from this hell. Never look back.

For the first time in nearly a decade, Callie worried that she might not have the strength to say good-bye.

What was wrong with her tonight? She was too emotional. She needed to pull up her big-girl panties and snap on her bratty attitude, pretend that nothing mattered. It was how she’d coped for years. But she couldn’t seem to manage that with Sean.

“You’re up in your head, instead of here with me,” he gently rebuked her.

Another dose of guilt blistered her. “Sorry, Sir.”

Sean sighed heavily, stood straight, then held out his hand to her. “Come with me.”

Callie winced. If he intended to stop the scene, that could only mean he wanted to talk. These sessions where he tried to dig through her psyche became more painful than the sexless nights she spent in unfulfilled longing under his sensual torture.

Swallowing down her frustration, she dredged up her courage, then put her hand in his.

Holding her in a steady grip, Sean led her to the far side of Dominion’s dungeon, to a bench in a shadowed corner. As soon as she could see the rest of the room, Callie felt eyes on her, searing her skin. With a nonchalant glance, she looked at the others sceneing around them, but they seemed lost in their own world of pleasure, pain, groans, sweat, and need. A lingering sweep of the room revealed another sight that had the power to drop her to her knees. Thorpe in the shadows. Staring. At her with Sean. His expression wasn’t one of disapproval exactly . . . but he wasn’t pleased.

Sean sat, then pulled her onto his lap, supporting her back with a strong grip around her waist. He cupped her chin in his palm and sent her a pointed glance. “Eyes on me, lovely.”

She complied, trying not to think about the fact that it was getting harder and harder to meet his stare and not give herself to him for real.

Originally, she’d allowed Sean into her life because he irritated Thorpe, who sometimes looked at her as if she were the brightest star in the sky, then always chose another woman to master. She’d wanted to make him jealous. Hell, she’d wanted to see if he even gave a shit. Sean had walked into the club with his quiet sophistication and dry humor, taken one look at her, and never glanced at anyone else. It had done her ego a world of good—until Thorpe had removed his protection and allowed Sean to collar her. Without so much as blinking, he’d let her go.

So why the hell was Thorpe watching her now?

“You’re away with the fairies, Callie. Get out of your head,” Sean growled. “Focus on me. Or we’ll end tonight now.”

That would be better, smarter. And everything inside her rebelled at the thought of Sean leaving. She clung, in fact. After all, she never knew if she’d have a tomorrow with anyone.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be preoccupied.”

His face softened a bit. “What’s troubling you?”

A million things she could never confess. She plucked at the first excuse off the top of her head. “You don’t want me.”

He grabbed her face in his hands. “You have no idea how untrue that is, lovely. I fantasize about laying you out under me and sinking so deep inside you that you’ll not ever forget the feel of me. Never doubt that I want you.”

His words made Callie flush hot all over. “Don’t you think sex would bring us closer?”

A wry smile crossed his wide mouth, and she couldn’t resist brushing her fingers through the waves of his dark hair. He was so blindingly handsome. He’d been her perfect revenge against Thorpe’s indifference. She just hadn’t planned on him stealing his way into her heart. And now she had no idea what to do.

“It’s a tempting notion, isn’t it? But I know me too well. Once we start that, I won’t stop. And we’ve far too much trust to grow between us to be distracted. I also know you. Sex is easy, isn’t it? True intimacy is hard. I don’t think you’ve ever had it, and you’re a bit too good at dodging it. I’m looking for more than a fuck, Callie. I want the real thing, and I won’t rush because my cock is aching.”

She had to find the only sensitive man in a BDSM dungeon. She would have been better off with someone who just wanted her to kneel, call him Sir, and liked to dish out a good paddling now and then. Perversely, that had never attracted her. Sean’s big heart did, and she feared that she would break both his and hers before the end.

Maybe this time will be different. Maybe the past will stay there. Four years is the longest you’ve stayed in one place. Maybe it’s time to stop running and finally live.

Callie drew in a shaking breath. “I’ll try again. Really try. Tell me what you want, Sir.”

“That’s a girl.” Sean eased her to her feet and led her back to the padded table.

A glance up proved Thorpe had gone. Probably for the best. He was far too controlled and sexual for her. If she ever truly put herself in his hands, he’d pry her soul wide open in no time at all. She couldn’t take that risk.

“Lie flat for me, lovely.”

As soon as the gorgeous Scot helped her onto the cushioned surface, she stretched out. He quickly secured her cuffed ankles. That didn’t fill her with too much panic. Then he grasped her wrist and began to clip in one of the cuffs. Almost immediately, her trembling began again. Callie gritted her teeth and fought to give in to Sean. She wanted to. God knew she did.

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him. But what if someone recognized her? What if the police busted up the joint? What if she needed to flee and couldn’t?

“Close your eyes. Take a deep breath.”

She ought to be wondering what she was going to do if she failed again and he left for the night. Or for good. She didn’t want to be without him, and that kind of desperation was so dangerous . . .

Callie forced herself to comply. Instantly, her other senses jumped in. A woman in the far corner was having a very noisy orgasm. A male sub in the vicinity of the row of St. Andrew’s crosses grunted with every lash of the whip from his top. Somewhere nearby, she heard one of the dungeon monitors speak in low tones. Her own labored breathing gradually canceled it all out. Her thundering heartbeat did the rest until she focused solely on Sean.

“Good. What’s your safe word?” he crooned, leaning closer.

“Summer.” Callie swallowed. She missed that horse. The little brown filly had been her most constant companion after her mother’s death. No doubt, the mare was dead now. She’d never had the chance to say good-bye to her four-legged friend.

She let loose a ragged breath.

“Excellent,” he praised as he bound her cuffed wrist to the table.

Her entire body tensed. She dragged in a harsh breath. Her heartbeat ramped up even more. Her palms began to sweat. Excitement and fear mingled into a heady cocktail, drugging her veins.

“You’re making progress. I’m proud of you.” Sean cupped her cheek. “Relax. Trust me. Put yourself in my hands.”

How wonderful that sounded. How tempting . . . She nestled into his touch, forcing back a swell of devotion that was nothing more than a waste.

Callie wasn’t one of those women who didn’t know why her soul cried out to submit. It didn’t take Freud to understand that a girl who’d spent nearly a decade being entirely responsible for her own welfare in a life-or-death struggle sought to turn all of that over to a Dominant partner for his broad shoulders to bear. Of course, she also wanted her family alive and whole as well. She always wanted what she couldn’t have.

Gawd, she needed to turn out the lights on this pity party and give Sean all she could now. Tomorrow, she’d apologize for being much less than he needed, then sever the ties between them—before she could no longer find the will. Of course she’d lie and wish him well in his quest to find another submissive who could be his true love. Watching that would be too painful, so she’d soon have to leave. Sadly, Thorpe wouldn’t miss her much, either. No one would. Exactly as she’d planned it.

The realization wrenched her heart.

Callie had been desperately ignoring the writing on the wall for months. She’d allowed herself to become emotionally compromised and far too relaxed. Sean kept prying deeper into her psyche. If she wasn’t careful, it wouldn’t be long before he put two and two together. The questions he asked already made her nervous.

Maybe the time to depart Dominion had already come. No, she knew it had. She needed to leave everything behind. Pack up and move on. The sooner the better.

“Callie . . .” His tone was a warning.

She heaved in a cleansing breath and shoved every thought from her mind, centering herself on his presence and her need to submit to him just this once before she ditched him for good.

“I’m fine, Sir.” Before she lost her nerve, she raised her other arm above her head, an offering of her trust in him.

“Finally.” His fingers curled around her, warm and protective, his thumb stroking over the vulnerable inside of her arm before he fastened down her last cuff. “Thank you, lovely. You look beautiful bound for me. Your trust is heady.”

And scarier than hell. “I know it’s not much.”

“Shh. From you, it’s a great deal. I know that was hard for you.”

“Can I open my eyes for just a minute?”

Sean paused. “Do you need to see me?”

Frantically, Callie nodded, fighting the insidious panic seeping from her veins.

“Open them, then. We’ll go slowly.”

Her lashes fluttered open, and she focused on him in the bright dungeon. Square face, sharp jaw, dark goatee, strong nose, muscled body. A furrow seemed permanently notched between his heavy brows. A little scar sat under the corner of his right eye, and she would have sworn it came from the nick of a bullet if he seemed like that kind of guy. Everything about him looked so masculine and aggressive. Yet he treated her so tenderly. If she had special-ordered the perfect man, he would be Sean. No doubt he’d wondered a hundred times over what he’d done to earn her distrust. The thought made her sad.

If she ever wanted to know what submission felt like, what Sean felt like, before she moved onto her next identity, she was going to have to give in this once. Simple as that.

“Thank you,” she murmured.

“I’m going to blindfold you now.”

A scary prospect . . . but one she felt ready to handle now. Besides, her hearing had saved her the night her family had been murdered, as well as from Holden’s betrayal.

“Yes, Sir.”

Sean caressed her neck, his fingertips gliding down her collarbones to the swells of her breasts, thumbing her puckered nipple covered by nearly transparent white cotton. “You’re pleasing me greatly.”

He pleased her, too. Everything inside her yearned to show him that. She smiled and lifted her head so he could fit a silky black scrap that looked like a sleep mask over her eyes. Its weight felt light and nonthreatening. Then he clasped her hand. Callie squeezed back.

“Have you ever been both restrained and blindfolded?”

“Not entirely, and only for demonstration purposes.”

She’d actually scened with very few people. Logan Edgington had usually wanted to give her a red ass to correct her bratty behavior. His friend Xander had enjoyed arousing her body, but he’d never awakened even a corner of her heart. She’d spent a little time with some of the other resident Doms at Dominion with similar results. Eric had a fascination with ball gags that made her shudder. Zeb seemed a tad too excited by feet for her comprehension. His nibbling at her toes had icked her out. Jason had not only been a stickler for protocol, but a big fan of Shibari. It had taken Callie less than four minutes to scream her safe word. Then there was Thorpe . . . He was in a class all by himself. And way beyond her reach.

“Demonstration?” Sean sounded shocked.

Callie nodded. “Yeah. But I haven’t done one in about two years.”

Not since that December Thorpe had asked her to bottom for a demo . . . then afterward, behind closed doors, the kindling heat between them had exploded into a tangle of arms and lips, sighs and discarded clothes. She’d been wet and ready and so desperate for him, naked on his bed. Then he’d abruptly walked away without an explanation, behaving as if nothing had ever happened. To this day, she didn’t know why he’d left her. And he’d never asked her to assist him in a presentation again.

That hurt didn’t matter anymore. Old crap. Only Sean was important now.

“Were you able to bear the restraint then because you knew someone would free you if need be? If that’s the case, lovely, the dungeon monitors would have my balls in an instant if they thought I was hurting you.”

“I know.” They were intensely protective of all the women in the club, but especially fellow staff.

“Well, then?” Sean’s swift reply asked how she had managed to be tied down for Dom/sub education purposes when she could barely tolerate it with someone she yearned to put all her trust in. Her only answer was that Thorpe had been the one doing the tying. She trusted him more than she trusted anyone. He knew her quirks and had accommodated them.

But she hated Sean believing that she lacked faith in him. Callie latched on to the first explanation to hit her brain. “Logically, I know you’re right. Sadly, logic doesn’t always penetrate fear. It’s a bit like a phobia.”

He didn’t answer right away, just brushed his thumb back and forth over her nipple until it tingled and she wished he’d just tear off her clothes and fuck her already. She’d wanted him for so many long months.

“Have you always been this way?”

“Since I got into BDSM.” She’d lied to Sean often, but always tried to stay as close to the truth as possible.

“Do you know what caused your fear, lovely? Was it something in your past?”

Callie bit back a snort. Pretty much everything. “It wasn’t any one event.”

And that wasn’t a total lie, just a realization that restraint severely inhibited her ability to flee if her murder rap caught up to her.

“Are you sure? Tell me about your childhood. Maybe something there will help me better understand.”

This again? He must have asked twenty times since snapping a collar around her neck to tell him about her formative years. She managed to simply say that she was from the Midwest and was an orphan. Again, not lies . . . just not the complete truth.

She clenched her hands into fists. “The longer we talk, the more nervous I get. Please . . .”

“We will finish this conversation, lovely.”

No, they wouldn’t.

“Yes, Sir.”

Sean sighed. “You’re doing well, so I’ll reward you now.”

He leaned over her, caressed her shoulders in his big hands, then his nimble fingers made short work of the waist-cinching corset she’d chosen earlier. He began unlacing it just beneath her breasts, slowly parting the panels down her torso before he detached it from her body. The garment provided enough support under her breasts to render a bra unnecessary. When he tore off the thin white tank she’d worn beneath, his groan, coupled with his hands cupping her breasts reverently, told her that he approved.

“Always so damn beautiful, Callie.”

No way to miss the worship in his voice. No man had ever made her feel so wanted.

He plucked at her nipples, pinching gently, turning the peaked nubs, controlling the flow of blood. The second he released them, sensation slammed into her. Hypersensitive and hard, the nubs tingled and bunched harder. She whimpered.

Then he bent to her, breathing harshly in her ear before he kissed his way down her neck, nipping at her fair skin until a shiver wracked her. She felt deliciously vulnerable, helpless to stop whatever he did to her body. He might deliver pleasure. He might heap on pain. And she could only accept what he chose.

So far, submitting was every bit as thrilling as she’d imagined. Yeah, plenty of folks might think she was warped, but as much as she had feared it, the surrender of her will to Sean made her feel oddly treasured. And it aroused her, especially when he pressed soft kisses around the exposed flesh of her breasts. Beside her nipples, below them, hovering just above, he toyed and teased with his mouth. He made her gasp and hold her breath in anticipation of his every hot exhalation over her skin and every sweet nibble with his teeth.

With a little pleading mewl, she lifted her hips to him, waiting for him to realize that under her tiny black skirt, she wore the barest scrap of lace over her drenched pussy.

Sean braced the heel of his palm just above her mound and pushed down gently. “I promised you a reward, lovely. Not necessarily an orgasm. Do I have to punish you to make you understand?”

He’d spanked her a few times, but she hadn’t considered it much of a punishment. Instead, the release of fire under her skin went right to her clit and made her throb with unrelenting desire. Always sharp, Sean had quickly come to understand that ignoring her or acting with utter disinterest was far more effective in changing her behavior. The more she cared, the more disappointing him crushed her.

“No, Sir.” She just wanted to feel him in every way he’d allow.

“I’d rather not. I have a special plan for you, but I’ll need you to be a wee bit patient.” He chuckled. “Though I know you’ll find that a torture all its own, I’ll make it worth your while.”

Callie grimaced. Her impatience around Dominion was well-known. A childhood of indulgence hadn’t prepared her for the special hell of delayed gratification. Sean specialized in spacing out her rewards until she sometimes felt like screaming. Then again, the breath-stealing orgasms were always worth the wait.

She just wished he’d let her return the favor. No matter how hard his cock looked or how much desire-induced sweat drenched his skin, he never availed himself of her body. Just like he never asked to see her outside Dominion’s walls. Not for the first time, she wondered if he had a wife or girlfriend tucked away elsewhere. She was too afraid to ask.

With a snarl, Sean removed his hands. “What the hell is in your head that’s so engrossing you keep drifting away from me? I want your full attention, Callie.”

Continuing her policy of honesty when possible, she gave him most of the truth. “I wish I could touch you.”

“You mean you’d like your hands free, to escape being bound?”

“No. As hard as I found it to allow, I’m enjoying your restraints. I just want the chance to give you the pleasure you give me.”

He sucked in a sharp breath. “Be good and perhaps I’ll let you.”

The way his voice shook, Callie hoped that meant he wanted her at least half as much as she wanted him. “Please . . .”

“Behave, lovely. You’re not in charge here.”

She pressed her lips together, did her best to lie silently and let him have his way. She expected him to use those slightly rough palms of his to abrade and arouse her until she pleaded. Then he’d do his best to ask questions designed to get in her head. She usually had to work to keep her wits about her and give him nothing more than a scrap of information so he would finally grant her screaming pleasure.

That wasn’t on his agenda today.

Instead, Sean released her ankle restraints and detached her wrists from the table. Arms encircled her, then he helped her to her feet. She didn’t often find herself topless in the club, so the feeling was hugely foreign . . . but not unwelcome. The cool air brushed her skin, beading her nipples more. It was an intriguing contrast to the pure heat rolling off Sean as he led her to dangling chains in the ceiling.

Poised behind her, he worked the snap hook attached to her bindings through the chains, securing her arms above her head.

“Spread your legs and keep them there.” His words brooked no refusal, despite his calm tones. He never had to yell to make his point.

Biting her lip, Callie complied, but she didn’t understand his intent. She knew she shouldn’t, but she brushed her face against her extended arm to work the rim of the blindfold down, then she peeked at him over her shoulder.

Sean snapped her mask back in place. “Stop, you minx. Eyes front. You’ll see me when I want you to, not before. Right now, focus on staying out of your head. Feel your body instead. Your skin, your breath, your pleasure. If your thoughts start intruding, try to block them.” He pressed his chest to her back and cradled her breasts. “I want to give this gift to you, lovely, but you have to do your part.”

If this was her one night of submission to experience all Sean Kirkpatrick had to offer, then she would do her very best.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good. Would you like ear buds with music to help you concentrate?”

And take away her ability to hear? “No.”

“All right. Take a deep breath and let it out. Clear your mind. Feel your muscles let loose.”

Like preparing to do yoga.

She did everything exactly as he’d commanded. It put her in a relaxed state. Well, as relaxed as she could be.

“Good. Do you know what this is?”

Wide strands of something soft skimmed her from neck to ass. Air filled her lungs as she raised up, trying to extend the caress.

“A flogger.”

“Deerskin, yes. Has anyone ever used one on you?”

“No, Sir.”

“Wielded properly, it’s not an implement of pain. Are you afraid?”

Of the flogger, no. But his intent was another story. If he’d gone out of his way to point out that the instrument didn’t have to hurt, she didn’t think he intended to test her pain threshold. And Sean had promised her a reward. Callie had a suspicion she knew where this was headed.

It scared the hell out of her as much as it made her yearn.

But she would give in tonight, see if she could separate her body from her mind in that floating paradise others called subspace. Just this once . . .

“I want whatever you’d like to give me.”

She sensed more than felt his approval. “Fine, then. Don’t count.”

The words had barely cleared his lips before the tails of the flogger struck the fleshiest part of her ass in a slow thud. Sean repeated the motion—full across her butt, in the low curve of her spine, up her back and down again. Never hard, never even making her sting. Rhythmic, sweet, lulling, the flogging was like a slow dance cradling her in its arms until she began to block out everything but the way he made her feel. Her heart beat in time with the tresses kissing her skin.

Callie didn’t have to work very hard to block out thoughts. Sean perfectly understood her body, exactly when, where, and how hard to work the falls over her.

Her head started to swim away from her body, and she let it go for a moment. She sank toward the abyss just beyond her, calling out to her. The sensation was like having a couple of glasses of wine, but heavier and more compelling. More alluring.

Darkness swam around her thoughts. Minutes might have passed. Or hours. She didn’t really feel her body anymore. The earth held her by the soles of her feet and her cuffed wrists, or she would have floated away to beautiful nothingness.

Vaguely, she felt Sean’s hand glide up and down her hot, sensitive skin, an acute rise of burn and sensation. Her head rolled forward. She felt every instant of her slow, deep breathing, almost like a waking nap—except the intoxicating euphoria. How wonderful . . .

“You look stunning, Callie.”

A drunk little smile curled her lips.

“This is what I wanted to give you, lovely, some respite from your head.” His lips slipped up the back of her neck. He wrapped his broad hand around her and under her chin until he tipped her head back. Then he kissed his way down her jaw. “I would give you more.”

Please . . . She didn’t have the strength to open her mouth and beg.

“But I need something from you. Come back to me just a bit,” he coaxed.

Callie frowned. It was the last thing she wanted to do, but the sweet splendor of silence in her head was too tempting. Complying took so much effort.

“Let me into your heart, Callie. Into your head. I’ve asked you for nothing since we began our journey together.”

And he’d given her so much.

“You draw me like no other. I want to know everything about you. I don’t want business to take me away from you before I’ve had a chance to learn you inside and out. Before I’ve had a chance to truly bind you to me.”

She sighed. He plucked at every one of her heartstrings, and she let him. Such exquisite words. How could she not give him a little?

“We’ll start small,” he assured. “Did you have a pet as a child?”

Pet? The first recollection to hit her brain spewed from her lips. “I found a kitten.”

“How old were you?”

“Not quite six. I couldn’t keep her. Mom was sick. I woke up one morning and she was gone. I cried. Mom died anyway.”

“I’m so sorry, lovely. Of what?”

Callie shied away from remembering. “God takes the fragile ones back into his fold. Dad always said that. It still made me sad.”

“Of course.” He petted her. “Do you have any sisters? Brothers?”

Chilled air suddenly smacked her toasty skin, jostling her brain. Awareness rushed back into her head. Why did he want to know?

“Both.” Of course, Dad never knew that she’d heard about his teenage romance that resulted in a son no one ever talked about. She hadn’t thought about that in years, but she’d spied on his son once. Apparently, being an illegitimate Howe sucked because he’d been a bitter man.

“You’re sure?”

Callie tensed. Why would he think otherwise? His tone and the enormity of his question hit her. It might seem trifling to most, but if he suspected at all who she was and she didn’t tread carefully, she might give him enough to confirm her identity.

Would he sell her down the river for the two-million-dollar bounty?

“I’m cold.”

Sean took a step back. The flogger fell over her back, her ass, alternating, thudding, seeking to calm her again. At first, it stung against her hot skin. Then she had to resist the divine slide back into her silent cocoon.

“Relax,” he crooned.

Callie didn’t dare. She bit her lip to stay present, but she pretended. At least the flogger warmed her enough to stop her shivering.

“Did you take any special trips as a child?”

“No.” She’d wanted to go to Disney World. Dad preferred Europe and museums where she had to be quiet. A whole summer in the French countryside when she’d been fifteen had seemed nearly coma inducing.

“Did you go to public school?”

Never. Her mother would have rolled over in her grave. “Mom was too religious to allow that. Guess it didn’t stick very well.”

Her answer was true . . . in a sense. Her mother had worshipped at the altar of Prada and been a firm believer in the church of Versace. She would never have allowed her or Charlotte to rub elbows with the middle-class kids who lived in the tract houses a few miles away. That had sucked, too. They looked like they had more fun.

“Callie, you’re in your head again.” And Sean didn’t sound pleased.

“Sorry. The cold rattled me and I just . . .” Got scared with all the questions.

That made her even more dejected. Most likely, the man just wanted to know her. But just in case she was wrong, she had to lie. The truth was too risky.

Great basis for a relationship, Callie. Yeah, he’d really love you if he knew your past.

She’d be long gone before he could.

He sighed. “You get cold easily. I often forget because you make me sweat.”

A moment later, he shuffled around to the front of her body. She drank his nearness in with a moan, smelling the musk wafting from him. Her mouth watered, her pussy wept. She wanted him so badly, had truly sought to please him . . .

“I genuinely tried. I loved the floaty feeling you gave me. I never thought I’d find subspace.” Callie wished she could touch him. “It hurts me to disappoint you.”

Sean peeled the mask away, and she blinked until she adjusted to the glaring lights. His shirt was damp, his cheeks flushed. A submissive dip of her head as he unsnapped her wrists from the chains proved his cock lusciously hard.

“You came a long way tonight, lovely. It’s my own impatience that makes me want you so completely right this instant. But your effort pleased me.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more.” She blinked up at him uncertainly as he unfastened one of the cuffs and blood rushed back into her arms.

Disappointment in herself chiseled away at her composure. Even when she’d given herself permission to let go and fully surrender to Sean, she’d been unable to.

“I wanted to.” Useless tears welled in her eyes.

With a soothing sound, he drew her against his body, and she relished his warmth. When he pulled her into his embrace, she felt the protective wall around her heart softening, crumbling. Just once, why couldn’t she give this wonderful man who’d showered her with tenderness and pleasure a little fucking bit of herself? She was so closed off that even she could barely reach the real her buried inside. Certainly, she didn’t know how to share, even with a man as kind as Sean.

“I know you did.” He cradled her head in his hand. “Don’t cry, lovely. Let’s get comfortable and talk.”

He didn’t give her a chance to argue, just pulled her along beside him, back to the bench in the corner. He removed the last cuff still dangling from her wrist and those around her ankles. Her shoulders were slightly sore. The skin on her backside still leapt with tingling life.

Sean reached for a blanket in a nearby stash, wrapped it around her, then pulled her into his lap. “Don’t beat yourself up. Yes, I wanted more. But tomorrow will come.”

Not for them, it wouldn’t.

“I could share myself more readily if you shared with me,” she ventured. At least it sounded like a good excuse.

Settling back on the bench with a raised brow, he drew her against his chest. “Is that so?”

“What we have feels so . . . one-sided. I don’t know anything about you.”

He drew in a sharp breath. “I was raised by my grandparents in Scotland. My father served in the military in far-flung parts of the world. My mother preferred London to parenting. I attended local schools, finished university, learned how to hold my own in a fight and drink a few pints without getting too pissed. I work in project management.”

Callie gathered up her courage. “Are you married? Taken?”

Sean let loose a hearty laugh. “Has that been worrying you all this time? No, lovely. I was engaged about a decade ago, but I was already married to my job by then. We ended things amicably. I’ve been alone since. And my life was empty as hell without you.”

That shouldn’t get to her. He shouldn’t. But damn, he did. She might as well be honest about this, too. “I didn’t know how much my life was missing until you walked into it. I need more of you.”

If they had nothing beyond tonight, she wanted him in every way he would give himself now.

Scrambling off his lap and between his feet on the concrete floor, Callie braced her hands on his knees and glanced at his cock. Then she blinked up at him, pouring her desperation into this one entreaty. “Please . . .”