Therapy

CHAPTER 33

I got to Broadway and Sixth at 7:10. Traffic was lazy. The sky was hammered tin.

Evenings are inevitably cool in Santa Monica; tonight marine winds whipped the June air frigid. Winds rich with kelp and rot, the metallic-sweet promise of rain. A couple of homeless guys pushed shopping carts up the boulevard. One muttered and sped past me. The other took the dollar I offered, and said, “Hey, man. You have a better year, okay?”

“You, too,” I said.

“Me? I had a great year,” he said, indignant. He wore a salmon-colored cashmere sport coat, stained and frayed, that had once belonged to a large, rich man. “I beat the shit out of Mike Tyson in Vegas. Took his woman and made her my bitch.”

“Good for you.”

“It was reeeel good.” He flashed a gap-toothed grin, leaned into the breeze, and shoved on.

A moment later, Milo rounded Sixth and strode toward me. He’d changed at the station, wore baggy jeans and an old, oatmeal-colored turtleneck that added unneeded bulk. Desert boots clopped the sidewalk. He’d folded something stiff and shiny into his hair, and it spiked in places.

“Kind of authorial,” I said. “One of those Irish poets.” To me he still looked like a cop.

“Now all I need is to write a damn book. So, who wrote the one tonight?”

“A Harvard professor. George Issa something, the Middle East.”

We began walking toward the store. “Issa Qumdis.”

“You know him?” I said.

“Heard the name.”

“I’m impressed.”

“Hey,” he said. “I read the papers. Even when they don’t run photos of dead girls. Speaking of which, I hit the clubs, trying to locate Christa/Crystal. But tonight, we intellectualize- here we are. Looks like college days, huh?”

His college had been Indiana U. Most of what I knew about his student years had to do with being in the closet.

We stood outside the bookstore as he inspected the facade. The Pen Is Mightier was a half-width storefront, glass above salt-eaten brick, with signage reminiscent of a Grateful Dead poster. Most of the blackened window was papered with flyers and announcements. Tonight’s reading was heralded by a sheet of paper headlined “Prof. George I. Qumdis Reveals The Truth Behind Zionist Imperialism.” Next to that was the sticker of a boutique coffee brand, the legend “Java Inside!” and a B rating from the health department.

“B,” said Milo, “means a permissible level of rodent droppings. I’d stay away from the muffins.”

No coffee or muffin smells inside, just the must of old, wet news pulp. Where the walls weren’t hidden by rough pine bookshelves, they were exposed block. Bookcases on wheels were arranged haphazardly at the center. Pocked vinyl floors were the color of too-old custard. A twenty-foot ceiling was spaghettied by ductwork and ladders- not library rollers on rails, just foldable, aluminum ladders- supplied for those willing to climb their way to erudition.

A heavyset, long-haired Asian kid sat behind the register, nose buried in something bound in plain brown wrappers. A sign behind him said NO SMOKING, but he puffed on an Indian herbal stick. Another sign said READING IN BACK over a pointing hand. The clerk ignored us as we filed past and began squeezing through the choppy maze created by the portable cases.

The book spines I could make out covered a host of isms. Titles shouted back in the hoarse adolescence of dime-store revolution. Milo scanned and frowned a lot. We ended up in a small, dark clearing at the rear of the store, set with thirty or so red plastic folding chairs that faced a lectern. Empty chairs. On the rear wall was a sign that said BATHROOMS (UNISEX).

No one but us.

For all his talk of good seats, Milo remained on his feet, retreating until he was back in the bookcase maze, positioning himself at a slant.

Perfect vantage spot. We could watch and remain out of view.

“It’s good we’re early,” I whispered. “Big crush and all that.”

He glanced over at the seats. “All those folding chairs. You could do group therapy.”

For the next ten minutes no one showed up, and we passed the time browsing. Milo seemed distracted, then his face loosened and took on a meditative cast. I browsed and by the time the first people began trickling in, I’d received a quick education on 1. How to build homemade bombs, 2. How to farm hydroponically, 3. Vandalism in the service of the greater good, and 4. The ethical virtues of Leon Trotsky.

The audience dispersed itself among the chairs. A dozen or so people, divided into what seemed to be two groups: twentyish, pierced-and-branded, dreadlocked rage hobbyists in expensive shredded duds, and sixtyish couples swathed in earth tones, the women helmeted by severe gray bobs, the men frizzy-bearded and shadowed by cloth caps.

The exception was a thickset, wavy-haired guy in his fifties, wearing a navy pea coat buttoned to the neck and crumpled houndstooth pants, who positioned himself front row center. His jaw was a stubbled shelf. He wore black-rimmed glasses, had wide shoulders and serious thighs, and looked as if he’d just finished organizing dockworkers. He sat stiffly, folded his arms across a barrel chest, scowled at the lectern.

Milo studied him, and his eyes slitted.

“What?” I whispered.

“Angry fellow up in front.”

“Probably not unusual for this crowd.”

“Sure,” he said. “Lots to be angry about. It’s comfier and cozier in fucking North Korea.”

Seven-forty, forty-five, fifty. No sign of Albin Larsen or the speaker or a bookstore staffer. Quiet audience. Everyone just sitting and waiting.

Just before eight, Larsen entered the room with a tall, dignified-looking man wearing a glen plaid, suede-elbowed hacking jacket, brown flannel trousers, and shiny peanut-butter-colored demiboots. I’d expected someone Mideastern, but Professor George Issa Qumdis had the ruddy complexion and magesterial bearing of an Oxford don. I put him at fifty-five to sixty, a comfortably lived middle age. His longish salt-and-pepper hair curled over the collar of a crisp white shirt. His rep tie probably meant something. Haughty nose, hollow cheeks, thin lips. He half turned his back on the audience and glanced at an index card.

Albin Larsen stepped up to the lectern and began talking in a low voice. No niceties, no thanking the audience. Right into the topic.

Israeli oppression of the Palestinian people.

Larsen spoke fluently with minimal inflection, smiling wryly as he noted the “profound historical irony” of Jews, the victims of oppression, becoming the world’s greatest extant oppressors.

“How odd, how sad,” intoned Larsen, “that the victims of the Nazis have adopted Nazi tactics.”

Murmurs of assent from the audience. Milo’s face was expressionless. His eyes shifted from Larsen to the audience and back.

Larsen’s manner stayed low-key but his rhetoric poured out hot and vindictive. Each time he uttered the word “Zionism” his eyes fluttered. The audience began warming to the topic, nodding harder.

Except for the burly guy in the pea coat. His hands had dropped to his knees and he was rocking very slightly in his front-center seat. Head canted away from the lectern. I caught a clear view of his profile. Tight jaw, clenched eyes.

Milo studied him some more, and his own mandible tensed.

Larsen went on a while longer, finally indicated George Issa Qumdis with an expansive wave, took out a sheet of paper, and offered morsels from the professor’s academic résumé. When he finished, Issa Qumdis walked to the podium. Just as he began to speak, footsteps behind Milo and me made both of us turn.

A man had entered our aisle. Midthirties, black, well groomed, very tall, wearing a well-cut gray suit over a charcoal shirt buttoned to the neck. He saw us, smiled apologetically, retreated.

Milo watched him edge away and hook a quick right turn. The black man never reappeared and Milo’s hands began to flex.

Why all the tension? This was a lecture at a bookstore. Maybe too much work with too little outcome. Or his instincts were sharper than mine.

Professor George Issa Qumdis unbuttoned his jacket, smoothed back his hair, smiled at the crowd, cracked a joke about being accustomed to lecturing at Harvard, where the audience hadn’t reached puberty. A few chuckles from the audience. The guy in the pea coat began rocking again. One of his hands reached behind his head and scratched vigorously.

Issa Qumdis said, “The truth- the inalienable truth- is that Zionism is the most repugnant doctrine of all, in a world rife with malignant dogma. Think of Zionism as the pernicious anemia of modern civilization.”

One of the pierced-and-brandeds snickered into his girlfriend’s ear.

Issa Qumdis warmed to his topic, branding Jews who moved to Israel “nothing less than war criminals. Each and every one is deserving of death.” Pause. “I would shoot them myself.”

Silence.

Even for this audience that was strong stuff.

Issa Qumdis smiled and smoothed his lapel, and said, “Have I offended someone? I certainly hope so. Complacence is the enemy of truth and as a scholar, truth is my catechism. Yes, I’m talking about jihad. An American jihad, where-”

He stopped, openmouthed.

The guy in the pea coat had shot to his feet, and shouted, “Fuck you, Nazi!” as he fooled with the buttons of his coat.

Milo was already moving toward him as Pea Coat whipped out a gun, a big black gun, and fired straight at Issa Qumdis’s chest.

Issa Qumdis’s snowy white shirt turned to crimson. He stood there, wide-eyed. Reached down and touched himself and came away with a red, sticky thumb.

“You pathetic fascist,” he burbled.

Still on his feet. Breathing fast, but breathing. No loss of balance. No death pallor.

Red rivulets wormed down his shirtfront and filthied the edges of his jacket.

Besmirched, but alive and healthy.

The man in the pea coat fired again, and Issa Qumdis’s face became a crimson mask. Issa Qumdis cried out, wiped frantically at his face. Albin Larsen sat in his chair, amazed, immobile.

“Oh my God,” someone said.

“That’s pig’s blood!” yelled the man in the pea coat. “You Arab pig-fucker!” He charged toward Issa Qumdis, tripped, fell, righted himself.

Issa Qumdis, blinded by blood, kept swiping at his eyes.

Pea Coat raised his weapon. Black plastic paint gun. Shrieking, “Fascist!” a woman in the second row, one of the gray-hairs, shot to her feet and grabbed for the weapon. Pea Coat tried to shake her off. She clawed and scratched and got hold of his sleeve and hung on.

Milo hurried to the front, zigzagging through the makeshift aisles, dodging chairs, as the woman’s companion, a bald, weak-chinned man wearing granny glasses and a red CCCP sweatshirt jumped up and began rabbit-punching the back of Pea Coat’s neck. Pea Coat struck back at him, caught him on the shoulder, and the man fell back on his rear.

Issa Qumdis had cleared his eyes, now, was staring at the melee. Albin Larsen stood behind him, stunned, as he handed Issa Qumdis a handkerchief and led him toward the back of the store.

By the time Milo reached the fracas, another gray-hair had joined in and Pea Coat had been pounded to the ground. The woman who’d fought for the paint gun had finally gotten hold of it. She aimed downward, shot a torrent of blood at Pea Coat but he kicked her and her aim shifted and she hit her companion instead, reddening his jeans.

“Shit!” he cried out. A flush captured his face. He began kicking viciously at Pea Coat’s prone body.

Milo yanked him away. Pea Coat struggled to his feet, took a roundhouse swing at Granny Glasses, missed, and lost his balance again. Issa Qumdis and Larsen had slipped into the unisex bathroom.

The woman aimed the paint gun again, but Milo pressed down on her arm and the weapon dribbled onto the floor.

“Who’re you?” she exclaimed.

A couple of pierced-and-brandeds stood.

I rushed over just as someone shouted, “Get the fascist!” and the crowd erupted into shouts and curses.

Milo grabbed Pea Coat’s sleeve and dragged him toward the back door.

The young men marched forward and got within arm’s length of Milo. Milo stopped the bigger one with a quick, hard squeeze of bare biceps. The man’s eyes fluttered.

Milo said, “It’s under control, compadres. Go away.”

No badge-flash. His tone froze them.

I got the rear door open, and Milo shoved Pea Coat out into the briny, night air.

As the door swung shut slowly, I looked back. Most of the onlookers had remained in their seats.

A few feet behind the folding chairs, half-concealed by bookshelves- tucked in his own vantage point- stood the tall, thin black man in the good gray suit and the charcoal shirt.

Behind the store was a service alley, blackened by night. Milo propelled Pea Coat westward, walking fast, shoving the man when he faltered. Pea Coat began cursing and struggling, and Milo did something to his shoulder blade that made him squeal.

“Let go of me, you commie bastard!”

“Shut up,” said Milo.

“You-”

“I’m the police, idiot.”

Pea Coat tried to stop short. Milo kicked at his heel, and the man jerked forward involuntarily.

“Police… state,” he said. His voice was thick and raspy, words punching out between shallow breaths. “So you’re a fascist, not a commie.”

“Another moron heard from.” Milo spotted a parked car a few yards up, shoved Pea Coat to it, pushed him up against the trunk. Jerking one of the man’s arms behind his back, he got his cuffs free, snapped them around the man’s wrist, twisted the other arm, and completed the task.

Since Pea Coat had aimed his paint gun till now, no more than five minutes had passed.

The man said, “Antisemitic-”

“Keep your mouth shut and your head down.”

Milo frisked him thoroughly, came up with a wallet and a key ring.

The man said, “I know exactly how much is in there, so if you’re-”

Milo’s finger landed atop Pea Coat’s shoulder blade. The memory of the first touch made the man break off midsentence.

I could hear cars rumble by on Broadway; but for that, the night was still.

Milo inspected the wallet. “There’s twenty bucks in here. You know different?”

Silence.

Then: “No.”

“Twenty whole dollars,” said Milo. “Preparing for a big night on the town, smart guy?”

“He’s Hitler,” said the man. “That pig. He lies, he’s Hitler-”

Milo ignored him and read his driver’s license. “Elliot Simons… what’s this, here… Cedars-Sinai ID card- RN… you’re a nurse?”

“Surgical nurse,” said Elliot Simons.

“Great for you,” said Milo. “You’re a little out of your element, Mr. Simons.”

“He’s Hitler, he lies, claims to be-”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Milo.

“Stop cutting me off, let me finish,” said Simons. “He claims to be-”

“He’s a fraud,” Milo cut in. “Wrote a book, claiming to be a Palestinian refugee from Jerusalem, but he was born in Italy, is half-English, half-Syrian. There was an exposé on it in one of the Jewish magazines.”

I stared at my friend. So did Elliot Simons.

He kept quiet as Milo thumbed through his credit cards. Then: “You’ve been watching him? Who sent you?”

“Who do you think?” said Milo.

“The government? They finally got smart and put him under surveillance? About time, the man’s a traitor, September 11 happens, and the government still can’t get it right. How many outrages does it take to get you people on the ball?”

“You see Issa Qumdis as a terrorist.”

“You heard him.”

Simons had a workingman’s face, an ordinary face. Except for his eyes. They blazed with something well beyond anger.

He rattled his cuffs. “Let me out of these.”

“How long have you been stalking him?” said Milo.

“I haven’t stalked anyone,” said Simons. “I read the papers, found out he was spreading his lies, and decided to do something about it. I’m not apologizing for anything, you want to arrest me, go ahead. I’ll tell the whole story.”

“Which is?”

“The guy’s Hitler with a fancy Ivy League degree.” Simons’s eyes heated further. “My parents were in Auschwitz. I’m not going to stand by and let some fucking Nazi spread big lies.”

Milo pointed to the red splotch across the front of the pea coat. “That really pig’s blood?”

Simons grinned.

“Where’d you get it?” said Milo.

“East L.A.,” said Simons. “One of the slaughterhouses. I took some heparin from work and mixed it in. It’s an anticoagulant, I wanted to make sure it was nice and wet.”

“Fancy work. Being a surgical nurse and all.”

“I’m the best,” said Simons. “Could’ve been a doctor but couldn’t afford to go to med school. My dad was always sick, couldn’t work, because of what they did to him in the camp. I’m not whining, I do fine. Put four kids through Ivy League colleges. I’m the best. You don’t believe me, check me out, the doctors love me. They ask for me because I’m the best.”

“You know Dr. Richard Silverman?”

Simons nodded hard and fast. “I know him, he knows me. Magician with a knife- how do you know him?”

“I know of him,” said Milo.

“Yeah, well,” said Simons. “You call and ask Dr. Silverman about Elliot Simons. He knows I’m no nut; when it comes to getting the job done I’m totally focused.”

“Tonight you were focused on ruining Issa Qumdis’s clothes.”

“If only I had a real gun-”

“Don’t say more, sir,” said Milo. “For your sake, I don’t want to hear any threats.”

” ‘Sir’,” said Simons. “All of a sudden you’re turning official?” Another shake of his cuffs. “So what now?”

“Where’d your kids go to school?”

“Three at Columbia, one at Yale. Fuck them,” said Simons, spraying spittle. “Not my kids. Them, the Nazis and those commies back there who believe all that shit. Fifty years ago they wanted to exterminate us, we survived and thrived and said, ‘Fuck you, we’re smarter than you.’ So fuck them. You want to arrest me for standing up for my people, fine. I’ll get a lawyer, I’ll file suit against the Nazi bastard who kicked me back there and his douche bag Nazi bitch. Then I’ll sue that Arab scum and that Swedish prick who’s probably fucking him in the ass and throw you in, too.”

Breathing hard again.

Milo said, “Why’d you single out Issa Qumdis?”

“He’s a Nazi, and he’s here.”

“Any other reason?”

“That’s not reason enough for you?” said Simons. Muttering, “Goyische kopf.”

“Yeah, I’m a stupid goy,” said Milo. “Meanwhile, it’s you with blood all over your clothes and your hands in cuffs and all you accomplished back there was to solidify that guy’s support.”

“Bullshit,” said Simons. “They came in as Jew-haters, they’ll go out as Jew-haters, but at least they know we’re not going to stand by while they try to herd us into the ovens.”

He peered at Milo. “You’re not Jewish, are you?”

“ ‘Fraid not.”

“What, German?”

“Irish.”

“Irish,” said Simons, as if he found that baffling. To me: “You Jewish?”

I shook my head.

Back to Milo: “So, what, cops are reading The Jewish Beacon?”

“I pick up stuff, here and there.”

Simons smiled knowingly. “Okay, so you are on a serious surveillance. About time.”

“The guy who introduced Issa Qumdis,” said Milo. “What about him?”

“What about him?”

“What should I know about him?”

“Fucking Swede,” said Simons. “Another fucking professor- my kids had professors at college, I could tell you stories-”

“Let’s keep it to Professor Larsen, specifically,” said Milo. “What should I know about him?”

“He’s with that Nazi, so he’s probably a Nazi- did you know that the Swedes claimed to be neutral during the war, but meanwhile they were doing business with the Nazis? SS soldiers were fucking the Swedish women right and left, having orgies, getting the Swedish women pregnant? Probably half of the supposed Swedes are German. Maybe he’s one of them. Larsen. Did you hear what he said in there? I should’ve shot him, too.”

“Stop,” said Milo. “You keep talking like that, I’ve got to take you in.”

Simons stared at him. “You’re not going to?”

A car drove up the alley, slowed to pass us, continued to Sixth, and turned left.

Milo remained silent.

“What?” said Simons. “What’s the deal here?”

“You drive here in your own car?”

“This is L.A., what do you think?”

“Where are you parked?”

“Around the corner.”

“Which corner?”

“Sixth,” said Simons. “What, you’re going to impound me?”

“What kind of car?” said Milo.

“Toyota,” said Simons. “I’m a nurse, not a goddamn doctor.”

Keeping the cuffs on, we walked him to his car. Two vehicles in front of my Seville. Milo’s unmarked was across the street.

“Here’s the deal,” said Milo. “You drive straight home, don’t pass Go, don’t come back here. Ever. Stay away, and we call it a lesson.”

“What’s the lesson?” said Simons.

“That it’s smart to listen to me.”

“What’s special about you?”

“I’m a dumb goy who knows the score.” Milo took hold of Simons’s collar, bunched it up around the man’s thick neck. Simons’s eyes bugged.

He said, “You’re-”

“I’m doing you a favor, idiot. A big one. Don’t test my good nature.”

Simons stared back at him. “You’re choking me.”

Milo released a millimeter of fabric. “Big favor,” he repeated. “Of course, if you prefer, I can arrest you, get you plenty of publicity. Some people will consider you a hero, but I don’t think the doctors at Cedars are going to keep asking for you when they find out about your lack of judgment.”

“They’ll ask,” said Simons. “I’m the-”

“You’re stupid,” said Milo. “You got your clothes full of pig’s blood and accomplished zero.”

“Those people-”

“Hate your guts and always will, but they’re a fringe minority. You want to accomplish something, volunteer at the Holocaust Center, take high school kids on tour. Don’t waste your time on those idiots.” He shrugged. “That’s only my opinion. You disagree, I’ll feed your martyrdom fantasies and stick you in a nice little jail cell with some other guy who it’s a sure bet didn’t get an A in ethnic sensitivity.”

Simons chewed his lip. “Life is short. I want to stand for something.”

“That’s the point,” said Milo. “Survival’s the best damn revenge.”

“Who said so?”

“I did.”

Simons finally calmed down, and Milo uncuffed him. He looked down at his bloody pea coat, as if noticing the stain for the first time, plucked at a clean bit of lapel. “This thing’s finished, I can’t bring it home to my wife.”

“Good point,” said Milo. “Get the hell outta here.” He returned Simons’s wallet and keys and put him in his Toyota. Simons drove off quickly, sped up to Broadway, turned right without a signal.

“That,” said Milo, “was fun.” He checked out his own clothing.

“Clean,” I said. “I already looked.”

He walked me to the Seville. Just as we got there, a voice from behind, mellow, cultured, just loud enough to be audible, said, “Gentlemen? Police gentlemen?”

The tall black man in the gray suit stood on the sidewalk, maybe ten feet away. Hands laced in front. Smiling warmly. Working hard at nonthreatening.

“What?” said Milo, hand trailing down toward his gun.

“Might I talk to you gentlemen, please? About one of the people in there?”

“Who?”

“Albin Larsen,” said the man.

“What about him?”

The man talked through his smile. “May we talk somewhere in private?”

“Why?” said Milo.

“The things I have to say, sir. They are not… nice. This is not a nice man.”