Thieving Fear

NINE

As the doors of the lift drew shut a hand stayed them. It was Glen's. 'More coming,' he said as he stepped in. 'Make room.'

He wasn't speaking to Charlotte. He seemed not to have noticed her at the back. She would have thought the lift was full, despite the notice claiming that it held twelve people. Two secretaries dutifully retreated, backing her into a corner, and a pair of editors joined the crowd. The lift was unquestionably packed now; what was it waiting for? If it was overloaded she wouldn't mind taking the next one. Then the doors lumbered together, so sluggishly that they could have been admitting someone else.

Of course they hadn't. There were just eleven people – no, twelve including Charlotte. It cost her some seconds to count the immobile backs of heads and the equally inexpressive profiles beside her, but apparently that wasn't long enough to stir the lift. Was it stuck? Should she ask, since everybody else seemed to be ignoring its paralysis? No, it was sinking at last, and in a few seconds – more precisely, twenty or so – she would be out of the windowless cage, out of the surreptitious light as grey as the walls. Meanwhile she was reduced to watching the secretive heads, which she could have fancied were determined to overlook some intruder, staring resolutely forwards while he wormed across the floor. The notion was so grotesque that she refused to look down, to establish that no face was grimacing up at her. Nobody was there, either in the lift or under it – nobody was dragging it downwards so lethargically that the air befogged by the light would be used up before they ever reached the basement. Her companions hadn't stopped moving because they were unable to breathe; they weren't about to topple against her, pinning her in the corner. They were swaying only because the lift had shuddered to a halt, although the doors weren't opening. Was it between the floors? Charlotte took a shallow effortful breath so as to wonder aloud, and then the doors crept apart, revealing the underground corridor. The foremost rank of passengers stepped forwards, and as she succeeded in drawing more breath the people in front of her gave her some room. By the time they reached the doors she was almost treading on their heels.

She had never been so conscious of how much the lockers narrowed the corridor. Even the extensive office felt pressed smaller by the ceiling, and once she was seated the partitions that surrounded the desks took away more spaciousness. She was trying to concentrate on opening the day's envelopes and packages as she saw Glen return to his compartment. 'Morning, Glen,' she said and turned her wave into fanning herself. When he looked at best puzzled she said 'Too many of us in a box.'

'Everyone's important here. We all have to get to work. I don't believe anyone else had a problem.'

'I won't again,' Charlotte promised herself more than him. 'I wouldn't mind a bit more elbow room on our way upstairs, though.'

'Not much chance we'll be alone in there,' he said and wheeled his chair over. 'We'd better talk now.' As she turned her chair towards him in the flimsy alcove he murmured 'I'd have called you if I had your number.'

'Shall I give it to you now?'

'You can if you like,' he said and rested a hand on her arm, but only for a moment. 'You may not want to. Let me tell you first of all you've got a knack for pitching projects.'

'Well, thank you.'

'I've seen you do it upstairs but I guess I never appreciated just how good you were.'

'Thank you twice.'

'But I've been thinking over the weekend, I don't believe even you can sell your cousin's book upstairs by yourself.'

'Then it's a good job I won't be trying, yes?'

'You won't.' This was close to a question, and so was 'You've decided to wait till she sends us some rewrites.'

'No, I mean I'm glad I'll have your support up there today.'

Glen inched his chair towards Charlotte. 'What did you say to her?' he said in a low voice. 'You didn't tell her it's bought.'

'I wouldn't before it is.' Charlotte was starting to feel penned in. 'I might have implied that with both of us behind it we shouldn't have much of a problem,' she admitted.

'Yeah, well, that could be one.'

'I don't think I follow.'

Glen clamped his hands to his thighs and leaned so close that Charlotte smelled harsh coffee on his breath. 'Are you trying to make this as hard as you can?'

She didn't retreat, not least since there was very little room. 'No, I'm trying to be pleasant,' she said.

'Hey, me too. OK, let's be professional as well.'

'I thought I was.'

'Maybe I wasn't on Friday, so I apologise.'

'Glen, you've nothing to apologise for. I had a good time and I hope you did.'

'Sure, but remind me never to talk terms after an evening like that. Like I said, you're great at firing people up, but I've had the weekend to think it over. Call me unprofessional, only maybe you were too if you told your cousin she could expect a contract ahead of the pitch.'

'I already said I didn't say that. What are you saying I should have said?'

'You're going to need to tell her to show us some rewrites before we can make a decision.'

'We agreed that wasn't necessary. You can't have changed your mind that much.' Charlotte's voice had begun to sound as boxed in as she felt. 'Is this about Friday night?' she said so quietly that she almost didn't hear herself.

'What about it?'

'Wasn't I as friendly as you wanted? I really did have work to finish. You were saying that's the attitude we need to have. If you think supporting Ellen's book is doing me a favour –'

However she might have continued, Glen cut her off. 'I won't be,' he said. 'That's all that matters here.'

'I won't ask you, then. I'll see if I'm as good at pitching as you say.'

'Let me tell you as a friend, that's not a good idea.'

'Why isn't it?'

'Because if you try I'll block you. I have to look out for my imprint, and that book isn't ready for us.'

'Suppose I can persuade everyone?'

'You won't persuade me, and I'll kill it.' Glen laid one hand on her desk and waved the other beside her, hemming her in. 'Listen, nobody can afford too many failed pitches round here any more. I'm thinking of you. Don't risk your job.'

Just now it was answering him that Charlotte didn't dare to risk. He steered the chair away and glanced at his watch. 'Time we were moving,' he said. 'Let's not be the last to take our seats.'

She had another first novel to propose, by an author who felt fiction ought to help her readers help themselves. 'You haven't turned against How Not to be Afraid of Anything as well, have you?'

'Nothing wrong with your judgment when it comes to Disney Hall. I'd be happy to pitch her book myself.'

As he trundled his chair to his desk, Charlotte grabbed her handbag and made for the lift. Her determination to act efficient and professional lasted as far as the subterranean corridor. How crowded might the lift grow on its way to the top floor? Although she'd jabbed the button she hurried along the corridor, which was cramped enough. She had almost reached the door to the emergency stairs before Glen called 'Don't you want to ride with me?'

'I don't feel like riding with anyone just now.'

'We all need to be part of the team,' he said, but Charlotte pushed the door open and stepped out of the corridor without looking back.

She'd thought the concrete stairs were wider. There appeared to be just enough space for two average people to pass. That had to be enough for her, however windowless the passage was. She ran up the flight to the bend between floors, not so much accompanied as beset by the flattened echoes of her footsteps. She was turning the bend when she thought someone below her spoke her name.

She didn't recognise the voice, though it seemed somehow familiar. She took a step backwards to peer around the enclosed bend. If anyone had called her, they must have been on the other side of the door; the voice had sounded at least that muffled. She wasn't about to waste time on finding out, because the prospect of descending the stairs seemed to shrink the passage. She turned her back and made to take two stairs at once, and then she grabbed the solitary banister so hard that she felt one of its supports grind within the wall. The higher flight of stairs was narrower.

It must be an illusion. Her confrontation with Glen had left her feeling penned in, that was all. As she dashed up the stairs the light appeared to flicker, and she was afraid it was about to shut her in total darkness. However insubstantial the footsteps crowding around her might be, they felt capable of robbing her of breath. She stumbled onto the ground-floor landing and gazed upwards. Though it had to be another illusion, the next flight looked narrower still.

She dragged the door to the lobby open, to be confronted by personnel piling into a lift. Someone beckoned her and made just enough space for her, but she waved him and the lift away. She was heading for its twin when she wondered how much of her state she was causing. How could she expect to relax until she'd spoken to Ellen, if then? The editorial meeting wouldn't start for ten minutes. She hurried past the reception desk into the street, where the sunlight rendered Ellen's number on the phone almost invisible. It had barely started to ring when Ellen said 'Gosh, have you bought me already? You must start awfully early.'

Charlotte found she was nervous of being overheard, though the pavement was deserted except for a traffic warden stooping to a parked car. 'Ellen . . .'

'I'm up too, writing. I have been for hours. I keep waking up with ideas.'

'As long as you're enjoying it and you're being productive.'

'I know I haven't sent you any revisions yet. I've nearly finished the chapter where they meet the one who's a witch. Charlotte?'

Was there a hint of panic in the last word? Charlotte hoped she wouldn't aggravate it by saying 'I'm afraid we're going to need more than that.'

'Well, of course you are,' Ellen said and laughed. 'A whole book.'

'No, I mean before we can make the deal. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have been so eager to cheer you up.'

'I can live.'

'Oh, Ellen. How are you for money?'

'I wish people wouldn't keep asking me that sort of thing. I'm fine. I'm not spending as much as I used to, and don't start worrying about that. It'll do me good.'

Charlotte thought she would have preferred to be attacked for hastiness rather than hear Ellen striving to be positive. 'When do you think you might be able to send me say half a dozen chapters?'

'I'll see if I can by the end of next week.'

'Don't rush, but once I have them –'

'You'll send me my contract.'

'I'll do everything I can.'

'I'd better get started, then.' With scarcely a pause Ellen said 'You won't want a photo, will you?'

'Of what, sorry?'

'What is right. Of your cousin. Some books don't have them.'

'I certainly hope you'd want to do publicity if we can fix it up. All our authors do.'

'Let's get the book written first. And thanks for looking after me.'

In a moment Ellen was less than invisible. Charlotte dropped the mobile in her bag and turned away from the traffic warden, whose reproving frown she could easily take to heart. An empty lift was waiting in the lobby, and she hastened herself in. As the doors took time over closing and the grey cage dawdled upwards she had to quell the notion that the space around her was no larger than the inside of her skull.