This Same Earth

Chapter Six

Los Angeles, California

December 2009

Beatrice didn’t remember much about the ride to the hospital in Long Beach except for the familiar smell of leather and smoke that filled Giovanni’s old Mustang. She remembered the first night she’d ridden in it, the night she had learned about vampires and blue fire and men who lived forever.

Men who wouldn’t be in the hospital after a freak diving accident.

“It was the weirdest thing,” Danny said after he’d calmed down. “I’ve never seen anything like it. It looked like he was being attacked down there, but there was nothing around him. Then, it was like his mask was just sucked off of his face like the water was pulling on it.”

“I’m heading over there right now. What did the doctors say?”

“I got him to the surface and got him resuscitated. Thank God we weren’t that far from the marina. They’re going to keep him overnight and release him in the morning if everything looks okay.”

Giovanni wouldn’t let her ride her bike to the hospital, much as he had refused to let her drive home the night six years before. She had never felt more confused in her life.

“Danny said it looked like the water was pulling on him.”

“Pulling on him?”

She nodded. “Like he was being attacked, but there was nothing around.”

She glanced over, and his face was grim. They drove in silence for a few more minutes.

“It’s him, isn’t it? It’s Lorenzo. He’s back.”

He frowned. “The last time I had information on Lorenzo was a year ago; he was lurking around Northern Africa. None of my contacts have reported any movement from him.” He shook his head. “He’s very recognizable. It’s more likely an associate of some sort, or someone he hired.”

Someone Lorenzo hired to kill a man she loved. A combination of guilt and fury began to churn in her gut.

“Did I ever tell you Mano was a diver in the Navy?” she said. “He’s really good. Danny says Mano’s the best diver he’s ever worked with, and Danny was a Master Diver before he retired.”

“Beatrice-”

“Two and a half years we’ve been together,” she whispered, “and he’s never had an accident. I used to worry so much about him, especially at night, I worried…but nothing ever happened. Everything was fine. Mano was always so careful.”

I did this, her mind kept repeating. This is my fault. She suddenly had more sympathy for her missing father and the complicated mess he’d inadvertently drawn her into years before.

Giovanni started to say something but paused and reached over to squeeze her limp hand. “I’ll find out who it was.”

“Who controls L.A.?” she asked in a whisper.

She could see his face harden in the passing streetlights.

“Are you sure you want to know? Sure you want back into this world? Into my world?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Yes,” he hissed. “You have a choice! That’s what all of this was about, giving you a choice.”

Beatrice shrugged, fighting back the tears in her eyes. She didn’t feel like there was a choice. She felt like she’d been hiding her head in the sand and others would be the ones to pay the price. She didn’t know what to do, and all she could think about was seeing Mano.

She forced Giovanni to go home to Ben after he dropped her off at the emergency room. Beatrice walked in and found Danny in the lobby, waiting to take her upstairs.

When she walked in, Mano was sleeping, and the quiet words of his doctor assured her that a week of rest and a break from diving were the only things needed for him to make a full recovery. Danny finally left them, and she curled up in the bed, squeezing herself into his side and laying her head on his chest as she listened to the steady beat of his heart.

Beatrice spent hours watching Mano sleep, seeing his steady chest rise and fall and listening to the faint murmurs as he dreamed. He had always looked so peaceful when he slept, his huge body relaxed and still in marked contrast to his waking vitality.

She called in to work and took some of her vacation time to be with him, though she knew he didn’t really need her there the whole time.

“Hey, Mano, what do you want for lunch?”

“How about a break from hovering?”

She snickered and looked over at him. “I’m serious. There’s some soup left, or I could make you a-”

“I’m serious, too.” He gave her a slight frown. “Why are you being like this? You’re not a hoverer.”

“You…scared me.” She frowned. “That’s all. You’ve never had an accident and-”

“Accidents happen, baby. It was a weird one, but…”

“What?”

He tried to smile but could only shrug. “You don’t seem like yourself lately.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m fine. You’re the one who needs-”

“What’s going on?”

Beatrice walked over and straddled his lap, pulling his arms around her. She put her ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat as his strong arms held her. What could she say?

You know my friends Carwyn and Gio? They’re vampires who drink blood and manipulate elements. Oh, and your accident was probably caused by a bad vampire who once kidnapped me because he’s trying to get to my father…who’s a vampire, too. But don’t worry, the good vampires rescued me. Then I stole a whole bunch of money from the bad guy, which is why he’s now trying to kill you.

And Gio says he’s in love with me.

“Nothing’s going on. I told you, you just gave me a scare. It’s fine. We’re fine. Nothing is going on.”

She sat up and saw a bitter smile curling his lips. “You’re a bad liar, you know that?”

Beatrice wanted to protest, to defend herself, but she couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t be another lie, so she simply leaned forward, holding him closer and listening to the steady beat of his heart. Mano gently stroked her dark hair, and she felt his chest rise as he sighed.

“Lately, baby, I feel like being with you is like watching the tide go out.”

“What?” She cleared her throat. “What are you talking about?”

“You don’t notice the ebb at first, you’re still listening to those waves go back and forth. They keep coming in, but…never quite as high as the last one.”

“Mano-”

“And you know there’s nothing you can do.” He kept running his hands through her hair in long, soothing strokes. “You could try to hold on, to chase the waves, but the water’s still going to slip away.”

Beatrice bit her lip and felt tears slip come to her eyes as a portion of her heart began to crumble. “I don’t…I don’t-”

“I’d say it was this guy, but I think the tide started going out months ago. Otherwise, we’d be living together now, you know?” She heard him choke a little. “And I wouldn’t be worried about your answer when I asked you to marry me.”

She shook her head, still wishing she could deny the words coming out of his mouth as she turned her face and stained his shirt with her tears. Mano placed a warm hand on her cheek.

“I feel like you’re on this wave, baby. And you’re slipping away from me a little more every day. Slipping away somewhere you don’t want me to go. Someplace I just-I can’t quite see.” He leaned down and whispered in her ear. “I want to catch you, but I don’t think you want to be caught.”

Beatrice cried, and her mind screamed, ‘No,’ but she couldn’t form the words.

“And I’ve been chasing the waves, thinking if I could just catch you, I could hold you back, and maybe you’d finally love me the way I love you.”

She curled her fingers in his shirt. “I do love you, Mano,” she whispered, wishing desperately that it was enough.

“But not-not the way you love him.” He cleared his throat. “I wish it wasn’t the truth, but it is.”

He tilted her chin up and wiped her cheeks with the sleeve of his shirt, but Beatrice couldn’t stop crying.

“Mano,” she choked out, reaching up to touch his face with shaking hands. He stared at her with sad eyes.

“There’s this huge thing you two hold between each other. I don’t think you even realize how much I can see it. It’s like all the dark places in you, the ones you never let me into, are open to him. And I’d chase away the dark for you-I’ve been trying for years-but I don’t think you really want me to.”

He cupped her cheeks with his warm, callused hands and pulled her tear stained face to his so he could lay a soft kiss on her mouth.

“I love you so much,” Beatrice said as her tears rolled into his hands.

“But it’s not enough, is it?”

She met his dark eyes and whispered in surrender, “No.”

His face fell in pain, and his grip tightened on her jaw for only a second before his hands went lax and his arms fell to the side.

“You need to go now, B.”

She choked on her tears but managed to nod as she climbed off his lap. Beatrice silently gathered the few things she kept at Mano’s apartment and walked back to him. She leaned down to kiss his cheek but he turned away from her.

“Please, don’t.”

“Okay,” she whispered. “Okay.”

She was shaking by the time she made it to the door, and she heard his low voice for the last time. “Don’t disappear completely. I want to know you’re okay.”

“Bye, Mano,” Beatrice whispered before she opened the door, stumbling down the stairs as the tears ran down her face and the sun blinded her. She walked to the shade of the small carport and pulled out her phone to dial with trembling hands.

“Dez? Can you come get me?” She paused to wipe her eyes with her sleeve. “I think I need to stay with you for a while.”

Beatrice stayed in Dez’s guest room for three nights, ignoring the calls Giovanni made to her mobile phone and crying more than she had since her father died. Giovanni came to Dez’s door every night, but she always sent him away.

She cried for days.

She cried for the guilt of not being able to love Mano the way he deserved. She cried for the lies she had told him and herself for so many years. And she cried because she already missed him.

She didn’t allow herself to think about her argument with Giovanni the night of the “accident” or the stunning emotional revelations he had made. It was too much, and her heart, along with her head, felt like it would burst.

By the end of the week, she was utterly and completely spent by tears and the weight of decisions that hung over her. Dez couldn’t comfort her, and she refused to call her grandmother while she was such a mess.

The one thing that kept echoing in her mind was the admonition Giovanni had given her the night they’d kissed.

“You need to tell them. You say you love them and you want them to be a part of your life, so why don’t you trust them?”

She’d already killed her relationship with Mano with the weight of her secrets and the walls she had built, so she called Dez into the pale blue room where she was lying on the bed, determined not to lose another person she loved.

“Dez, I need to talk to you.”

Beatrice told her everything.

She told her about murdered fathers and missing books. About mysterious men with blue fire and secrets. About blood and betrayal. Sacrifice and rescue. She told her best friend everything except Giovanni’s secrets. Beatrice even called Matt to confirm the story, so Dez didn’t feel like she had to call the men in white coats. Her friend was sitting on the bed with a dazed expression, looking like she’d just fallen down a very long rabbit hole.

“Was I wrong to tell you?”

Dez frowned. “I’m not quite sure at this point.”

She nodded. “If you want, he can erase it all. Gio can, I mean. If you don’t want to know. If it’s too much.”

“Did he offer that?” Dez looked worried. “Does he know you told me?”

“He told me I should tell the people I love.”

Dez thought for a moment.

“Did you tell Mano? Is that why you broke up?”

“No.” She shook her head. “I didn’t tell Mano.”

“Oh…okay,” Dez stuttered. “Just give me a few minutes here.”

“Okay.”

They sat in silence for a few more minutes.

“B?”

“Yeah?”

“Why did Giovanni come back? Is it this Lorenzo guy? Is he back now?”

She took a deep breath. “He says he came back for me. He said…”

“What?”

“That he loves me. That he wants me to be with him.”

“You mean like…”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Dez paused again. “So, he wants you to…”

“It sounds like it.”

“Because he loves you?”

Beatrice shrugged. “I guess so.”

“But you don’t believe him.”

She shook her head. “I don’t know what to believe anymore. I’m really…”

“What?”

“Confused,” Beatrice sighed.

“Yeah…there’s a lot of that going around.”

“I’m so sorry.”

Dez frowned at her. “Why?”

“I should have told you before. I shouldn’t have lied about so much of my past.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Dez pulled her into a hug. “I totally understand why.”

“And now that I told you, I feel like I’m putting you in danger.”

Dez pulled away and a familiar, stubborn expression settled over her face. “That is not something that you should be worried about. If that’s the cost of being your friend…”

“What?”

Dez reached over and enveloped her in another hug.

“Totally worth it, B.”

She sniffed as the tears started again. “Thanks, Dezi. I love you. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

“I know. I’m pretty awesome.”

Beatrice snorted, then they both laughed. Beatrice began to slump as the days of emotional exhaustion started to catch up with her. Dez, however, was looking surprisingly perky.

“So, Matt knows about all this stuff?”

Beatrice called her next-door neighbor and asked him to drive her to the Huntington to get her motorcycle so she could go home for the first time in a week.

“Do you think she’ll be okay?” she asked Matt as he drove her back to Pasadena.

“She’ll be fine,” he said with a smile. “Dez is tougher than she looks. And really smart. Don’t you remember that crazy feeling you had when you first found out?” He shrugged. “She’ll manage.”

“How long have you known Gio?”

“About ten years. About vampires, longer. My father did some work for him back in the day, and Gio…well, he trusts our family, I guess.”

“What do you actually do?” she asked with a frown. “You can’t be a realtor.”

He chuckled and reached a hand across the front seat. “Matt Kirby, private investigator. Nice to meet you, Beatrice De Novo.”

She snorted and slapped at his hand. He laughed and faced forward again, watching for the exit as they neared South Pasadena. Beatrice noticed that he was unusually chipper.

“You’re going to ask Dez out, aren’t you?”

“Yep,” he said with a grin.

“Good. Why did you wait so long?”

He shrugged. “Too many secrets. You think I could keep all that from her and have a chance?”

She sighed and shook her head. “Probably not, Matt. Good luck.”

“You too,” he said with a smile.

Beatrice saw the Mustang parked at the curb and Giovanni sitting in the dim light of the porch when she arrived. He looked at her, no doubt noticing the exhaustion that lined her face and her eyes, which felt like they had been swollen with tears for days on end.

She was irritated he was there, and she didn’t know any of the answers he was probably looking for. She just wanted to be alone.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi.”

“Kirby called me.”

“Good for him.” She attempted to walk past him as she dug out her keys. He shot up and tried to block her path to the front door.

“Beatrice-”

“Nothing you say,” she bit out, “is going to make me feel better right now. Nothing.” She took a deep breath. “I don’t want to talk to you or see you for a while, so please leave me alone.”

“I have information about who attacked Mano.”

She closed her eyes and pressed the heel of her hand into her forehead to try to still the headache that began pounding.

“Just…give me a few days,” she whispered. “I need a few days, Gio.”

He tried to touch her shoulder, but she pushed him away.

“I understand,” he murmured.

“No, you really, really don’t.”

He paused before speaking. “I’ll put them off for a few days. Call me when you’re ready to talk.”

Beatrice still had her eyes closed when she heard him walk past her, down the porch, and toward his car. She didn’t open them until she heard the Mustang pull away. Then she opened the door and retreated to her silent house.