This Should Be Written in the Present Tense

38

Much to my surprise, the front garden had come alive with white and yellow crocuses peeping up from the tiny lawn and under all the bushes. The sun was out and I swept the path. The ten o’clock had just gone, a lone passenger had got off and trudged past with her bag. She nodded towards the lawn.

‘What a lot of life.’

‘Yes, isn’t there?’ I said, and smiled at her. Then I saw Knud on the step of the station building waving me over. I left the brush and ambled across. He folded his arms in front of his chest.

‘Fancy a coffee?’

‘Yes, why not.’

‘Come on, then,’ he said, and I followed him through the back door into the little office behind the counter. He pulled me to one side and began to kiss me on the throat and then my neck.

‘Do you want something to go with that coffee?’ he said in a breathy voice, and I did. I looked out of the window at the platform, there wasn’t a soul.

‘The next one’s not due for fifty minutes,’ he said, his trousers already down.

‘That can’t be right. There’s one any minute.’

‘That’s a through train.’

‘Since when?’

‘Since today.’

‘Is there a new timetable?’

‘No, it’s just for this week.’

‘How come?’

‘I don’t know. Nobody tells us anything.’

‘But what are people supposed to do?’

‘What people?’

‘Passengers.’

‘There aren’t any. There never are for the ten-twelve.’

‘Never?’

‘That’s right.’

‘Suppose I wanted to get on?’

‘You never go that way.’

‘No, but what if I did?’

‘Well, you couldn’t,’ he said, and then the train came. He was right, it was a through train, it whistled past with its long trail of carriages. A white carrier bag flew up from the platform and settled again a bit further away.

We had the coffee afterwards. I sat on the edge of the little desk and looked across at my bungalow. The windows were all open, I’d wanted to get some air in all of a sudden and freshen the place up, it was the same reason I’d been sweeping the path. There were some clothes soaking in the bath, tops and socks that would dry on the line in the back garden. He sat on the swivel chair and put his hand on my knee.

‘You’re up early today,’ he said.

‘No earlier than usual.’

‘You sleep later, normally.’

‘No, I don’t.’

‘You’ll be having yourself a nice long snooze now,’ he said. I slapped his hand, the one he had on my knee, and he slapped back. He gulped some coffee, then he wiped his mouth.

‘I’ve applied to become a guard,’ he said suddenly. ‘You haven’t? What sort of a guard?’

‘On the trains, of course.’

‘Starting when?’

‘I don’t know yet. I’ve applied, that’s all.’

‘It sounds like a good opportunity.’

‘Yeah, I think it is.’

‘You won’t be able to keep an eye on me all day from the office, though. You’ll have to make do with looking over from the flat,’ I said.

‘We’d have to move as well,’ he said.

‘Move? Where to?’

‘Looks like Høje Taastrup, at the moment. Hanne’s from there originally.’

‘I see,’ I said.

‘Are you upset?’ he said.

‘Not really. I’ve got nothing against Høje Taastrup.’

‘You needn’t be. It won’t be until summer. Perhaps we can write to each other.’

‘Ha, ha.’

‘What’s funny about that?’ he said with wounded emphasis, it made me feel sorry for him, his firm, triangular body on the swivel chair with his polo shirt untucked. He ran his fingers once through his hair. I smiled at him.

‘Nothing. Of course we can.’

When I got back to the bungalow the door had blown shut. I stood on the step and rattled the handle, my key was inside. It must have been the draught, all the open windows. I fetched a rusty garden chair and placed it under the bedroom window. I opened the window all the way and wriggled my way over the ledge and straight into bed. I decided to stay there. I wasn’t really upset, it was just the abrupt change of situation, from standing with him inside me to sitting apart and being informed about Høje Taastrup in the space of a few minutes. As he’d predicted, I slept well into the afternoon, then when I woke up I went out and picked a handful of crocuses. I went over to the station with them, he was cashing up, his girlfriend was standing next to him in her baggy jumper. They both looked up at me in surprise, I handed her the flowers.

‘Here,’ I said. Her face softened and her mouth widened slightly.

‘What are they for?’ she said.

‘I’ve got so many,’ I said.