Tzili: The Story of a Life

16

SHE SLEPT DEEPLY, without feeling the wind. When she woke a mug of hot herb tea was waiting for her.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he said.

“Why can’t you sleep?”

“I can’t fall asleep without a cigarette.”

Tzili put the coat into a sack and rose to her feet. Mark sat in his place next to the fire. His dull eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep. For some reason he touched the sack and said: “It’s a good coat, almost new.”

“I’ll look after it,” said Tzili without thinking, and set off.

I’ll bring him cigarettes, he’ll be happy if I bring him cigarettes. This thought immediately strengthened her legs. The summer was in full glory, and in the distant, yellow fields she could see the farmers cutting corn. She crossed the mountainside and when she came to the river she picked up her dress and waded across it. Light burst from every direction, bright and clear. She approached the plots of cultivated land without fear, as if she had known them all her life. With every step she felt the looseness of the fertile soil.

“Have you any tobacco?” she asked a peasant woman standing at the doorway of her hut.

“And what will you give me in exchange?”

“I have a coat,” said Tzili and held it up with both hands.

“Where did you steal it?”

“I didn’t steal it. I got it as a present.”

Upon hearing this reply an old crone emerged from the hut and announced in a loud voice: “Leave the whore’s little bastard alone.” But the younger woman, who liked the look of the coat, said: “And what else do you want for it?”

“Bread and sausage.”

Tzili knew how to bargain. And after an exchange of arguments, curses, and accusations, and after the coat had been turned inside out and felt all over, they agreed on two loaves of bread, two joints of meat, and a bundle of tobacco leaves.

“You’ll catch it if the owner comes and demands his coat back. We’ll kill you,” the old crone said threateningly.

Tzili put the bread, meat, and tobacco into her sack and turned to go without saying a word. The old crone showed no signs of satisfaction at the transaction, but the young woman made no attempt to hide her delight in the city coat.

On the way back Tzili sat and paddled in the water. The sun shone and silence rose from the forest. She sat for an hour without moving from her place and in the end she said to herself: Mark is sad because he has no cigarettes. When he has cigarettes he’ll be happy. This thought brought her to her feet and she started to run, taking shortcuts wherever she could.

Toward evening she arrived. Mark bowed his head as if she had brought him news of some great honor, an honor of which he was not unworthy. He took the bundle of tobacco leaves, stroking and sniffing them. Before long he had a cigarette rolled from newspaper. An awkward joy flooded him. In the camp people would fight over a cigarette stub more than over a piece of bread. He spoke of the camp now as if he were about to return to it.

That evening he lit a fire again. They ate and drank herb tea. Mark found a few dry logs and they burned steadily and gave off a pleasant warmth. The wind dropped too, and seemed gentler than before, the shadows it brought from the forest less menacing. Mark was apparently affected by these small changes. Without any warning he suddenly burst into tears.

“What’s wrong?”

“I remembered.”

“What?”

“Everything that’s happened to me in the past year.”

Tzili rose to her feet. She wanted to say something but the words would not come. In the end she said: “I’ll bring you more tobacco.”

“Thank you,” he said. “I sit here eating and smoking and they’re all over there. Who knows where they are by now.” His gray face seemed to grow grayer, a yellow stain spread over his forehead.

“They’ll all come back,” said Tzili, without knowing what she was saying.

These words calmed him immediately. He asked about the way and the village, and how she had obtained the food and the tobacco, and in general what the peasants were saying.

“They don’t say anything,” said Tzili quietly.

“And they didn’t say anything about the Jews?”

“No.”

For a few minutes he sat without moving, wrapped up in himself. His dull, bloodshot eyes slowly closed. And suddenly he dropped to the ground and fell asleep.