Unchained

Chapter Twenty

Julian was waiting for her on the balcony of her apartment. She sensed him the moment the building came into view. Nerves made her fingers tremble as she fished out her keys and let herself in. The first thing a Nephilim should do after committing any wrongdoing would be to hightail her butt back to the Sanctuary and report immediately to Nathaniel. The worst thing she could do was turn her back and go into hiding.

It was too late now as she crossed her living room, unlocked the balcony door, and stepped aside. “Hey,” she murmured.

Julian entered, his bright gaze settling on her. “Lily…”

“I know.” She threw up a hand. “I shouldn’t have stopped Micah, but I did.” She met his gaze. “Can you give me a few minutes? Make yourself at home.” She gestured at the couch. “I’ll be right back.”

She headed for the bedroom, quickly discarding her hunting clothes in favor of cotton shorts and a baby-doll tank from the large armoire.

Julian had moved to the couch, sitting motionless with his eyes closed. She approached him slowly, wondering what he made of all this. Was he happy she had defended him? Guilty? Or did he also think she made a mistake? Biting her lip, she sat beside him. He immediately turned to her, a soft smile on his face.

“I admit. I’m surprised.”

“You’re surprised that I stopped Micah?”

“Yes.” He ran the tips of his fingers down her arm.

She forced a casual shrug. “Seemed like the right thing to do at the time.”

“And now?” he asked.

“It still does.” She laughed at his doubtful expression. “You stopped when I asked you to. Unlike Micah, you were walking away. You didn’t deserve to be stabbed when you weren’t attacking him.”

He seemed to consider her reasoning. “But I did attack him.”

“And you stopped,” she reminded him softly.

“Only because you asked. If you hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t have.” He leaned back against the cushion. “I would have killed him.”

Her eyes widened, needing to hear it spoken out loud again. “But you didn’t.”

He glanced at the television. “How much trouble will you be in?”

She sighed. “A decent amount, I imagine. I mean, I don’t think Nathaniel will kick me out or anything, but he’s not going to be pleased.”

“You’re here.” He frowned thoughtfully. “Doesn’t that mean you will be in even more trouble since you didn’t go to him?”

Odd how much he knew about the Sanctuary and their rules. She eyed him curiously. The sandy-blond hair fell forward, curving against his jawline. He was at ease on her couch, even though his mere presence swallowed it whole. “More so when I don’t show up in the morning, but it is what it is. I need time to think about…all of this.”

He tipped his head to the side. “You’re here because of me?”

This was not going to be a night where she could just lie through her teeth. Inhaling softly, she answered honestly. “Yes.”

A wondrous smile appeared, and he leaned forward, capturing her lips in a deep kiss. She thought she would surely melt into the cushions if he continued to kiss her like that.

When he pulled back, she was breathing heavy and his eyes were like brilliant sapphires. “Will they come looking for you?” he asked.

“I don’t think so. They tend to give me my space if I ask for it.”

He peered up through sooty lashes then. “Thank you, Lily, for risking what you have to defend me.”

Caught off guard by his thank-you, she laughed self-consciously. “You’re really not like them.”

“Neither are you.”

Lily shifted, stretching her legs out in front of her. “I’m no different.”

“Is it not an issue of black and white with the Nephilim?” he asked as he grabbed her wrists. He ran his thumbs over the silver cuffs she always wore, the daggers hidden inside expanded. “Is it not your duty to kill me?”

“What…are you doing?” She tried to pull her hands away, but he held on. He brought them to the vulnerable spot under his ribs—right where she had aimed for the first time but had missed by a fraction of an inch. The same spot Micah had gone for. Her eyes widened as he pressed the tip of the very deadly blade against his flesh.

He met her stare. “Why aren’t you like the rest of the Nephilim?”

Why wasn’t she? That was a good question. She could kill him right now. It was what she was supposed to do. What she had been raised for and what she had prevented earlier. Yet, sitting here beside him, she couldn’t. She would never be able to. She knew just like she knew the sun would indeed rise in an hour or so.

He removed his thumbs and the blades retracted. “Nothing is simple, is it?”

Her gaze dropped to his hands that were sliding past her wrists. His touch, soothing and unnerving at the same time, consumed her. “No.”

He pulled her into his lap. Her legs fell across his long ones, and her hands rested against his shoulders. “I think you have quite a bit of free time.”

The lightning-hot fire in her veins was already simmering. “You?”

Julian cupped her cheek. “I have all the time for you, Lily.”

Her heart did a weird little flip. She inched one leg over to rest beside his hip. “No nuns to corrupt?”

“No.”

Her gaze settled on his curved lips. “No politicians to sway into a scandal?”

His hands dropped to her hips, cradling them. “No. You okay with allowing a minion to see another sunrise?”

She grinned. “Now, what kind of Nephilim would that make me?”

“My favorite kind,” he answered.

“Is that so?” She giggled, feeling very unlike herself.

He brushed his lips over the curve of her chin. “We have all this time. What should we do?”

She could think of a dozen things, but only one she really wanted. She brought her hand down his flat stomach. Her grin became impish as she felt him harden under her heated core. She shifted so that the most intimate part of her pressed down on him.

Julian growled softly. One hand cupped the back of her neck, guiding her lips to his. His kiss was questioning at first, gentle in nature. Then it deepened, becoming more demanding. As his tongue gained entry and swept over hers, she felt it all over her body.

Soon his hands were everywhere, slipping under her shirt, caressing the hard peaks of her breasts, curving over her rear, and slipping under her shorts. Lily moaned into his mouth as one finger slipped inside her. She was already so hot and wet that it nearly sent her over the edge, but she wanted more. As his finger pumped in and out of her, she ran her hand under his shirt and over the smooth, hard skin. His breathing quickened, and when she ran her fingers over his lower belly his head fell back.

She wanted to feel him inside her, needed him to be. It was a wild desire, one born out of unbridled lust and another emotion she wasn’t ready to delve too deeply into.

“Julian, I want you.” She unsnapped the button on his jeans.

“You have me,” he groaned.

That brought a delighted smile to her face as she wrapped her fingers around his wrist. “Not like that.”

His finger stilled, his liquid gaze met hers and flared seductively. “You don’t know what you are asking for,” he said, voice husky and thick with need.

With a sense of will she didn’t know she had, Lily pulled his hand away. “I know you want to.”

“More than you ever know, but…” He trailed off as she rubbed his hard length through the jeans. He swallowed. “Lily, it changes everything.”

Of course it does. She would no longer be a virgin. Julian would indeed be her…first, and the knowledge thrilled her. “I know. I want this.” She climbed off him and stood. “I want you.”

He was on his feet in seconds, the jeans hanging low on his hips. “You have to be sure. There will be no going back.”

Flushed, she curled her fingers around his. “I think we passed that part a while ago.”

He stared at her, eyes keen and ablaze. Julian seemed to waver; an unknown battle warred within him. “I mean it, Lily, this cannot be undone.”

She wasn’t stupid. It wasn’t like her virginity would grow back if she wished it. Snarky thoughts aside, she was touched by his concern for her. It was obvious he worried she would regret it. Sex was just sex, and that was what she wanted desperately.

With a soft smile, she tugged on his hand. “I’m sure.”

He let out a ragged breath before swooping down and claiming her lips in a feverish kiss. There was so much passion and power in that kiss she wondered what she had gotten into, but then he pulled back and pinned her with a molten stare.

She panted. “Okay.”

His smile was crooked. “Okay.”

She had been the one to initiate this, but Julian quickly took over. He led her into the dimly lit bedroom. Her heart fluttered unsteadily, and her stomach knotted in anticipation.

The back of her knees brushed against the soft bedspread, and without saying a word, he removed the gray shirt he wore. The very air that was so laden with sexual tension seized in her lungs.

Julian was utterly magnificent. From the hard expanse of his golden chest down to the ripped stomach that begged to be touched. The unbuttoned jeans slipped farther down his hips, exposing a fine dusting of golden hair. No mortal man could be built such a way. He was heavenly, a product of perfection.

She silently lifted her arms when he hooked his hands under the hem of her halter. He quickly disposed of the material, and she could feel his heated gaze drift down her bare skin. She responded immediately. Her nipples hardened and her stomach hollowed.

Next came her shorts, and then she was completely nude. All of her—the fine scars that riddled her body and the marks that had been left behind were visible. She couldn’t hide as he took her in.

Her hand fluttered over a thin scar that sliced from the edge of her ribs to her belly button. Baal had given that to her, along with the mark on her thigh. Julian pulled that hand to his lips. He first kissed the top of her hand, then the inside. Then he brought the palm of her hand against his chest, above where his heart rested. The simple and sweet gesture brought a rush of tears to her eyes. She swallowed, unable to say anything.

“You’re so beautiful,” Julian murmured against her lips. He wrapped one arm around her waist, lifting her against him. His kiss ignited the fire in her. “Perfect for me. You would never know how much you are.”

She stared as he stepped back, stripping off his jeans. Absolutely marvelous, and big…very big. An awfully naive part of her doubted that this would work. It was one thing having her hand or mouth wrapped around him, and totally something else to consider that going in her.

But then he lowered himself, pushing her back against the bed, trailing his lips over her legs and stomach. He settled over her breasts, where he suckled and nipped. He took his time, slowly moving over her, licking every inch of her skin. It was like he sought to memorize every part of her body. Or claim it. Whatever it was, Lily didn’t care. She’d let him do this for eternity.

Her body arched against him, aching and tense. He drew every breath from her, every moan and whimper. Her fingers clawed at his chest and arms. He lifted, halting her progress. Capturing her hands, he pinned them beside her head.

Desire, rife and powerful, spread through her. She had never felt this way before, and when he nudged her thighs apart, she nearly cried out. She felt him against her, hot and hard. So very close to where she yearned for him to be.

Julian brought his lips back to hers, releasing her hands and moving one of his to rest over her wet cleft. He supported himself with his arm, continuing to delve into her mouth while gently working one finger in and then two. Soon he had her bucking against his hand and his member.

He worked her toward the edge, her breathing erratic. Her hands clenched his arms, and the sounds she was making should’ve embarrassed her. But she didn’t care. She wanted more.

He lifted his head, staring down at her. There was something quite frightening and a bit intoxicating in his wild gaze. It mirrored what she felt inside but couldn’t vocalize. She felt all over the place, full of anticipation and near crazed with need.

He slowly withdrew his fingers, eliciting a sharp whimper from her. As his gaze fixed on her heavily hooded eyes, he guided his erection to rest against her sex. She thought she’d come apart at the first wicked touch, but she had been wrong. It was when he slowly inched his way in that her body came alive.

Julian reached out, laying a hand against her cheek. His thumb drifted down to her full bottom lip. “Do you trust me?” he asked softly.

She wrapped her arm around the one he used for support. “Yes.”

He bent his head to hers. “This may hurt. I’ll make it quick.”

She wasn’t quite sure what he meant by making it quick, but she was really beyond coherent thought. With one last caress over her cheek, his hand dropped to her hip once more, and he thrust deep inside.

Sharp, stinging pain shot through her. She froze at the incredible pressure of fullness.

“Relax,” he whispered, his eyes glowing like sapphire jewels. “It will get better. I promise you.”

She bit down on her lip, nodding. She wasn’t sure how this was going to get better. It felt like he was going to rip her in two.

He didn’t move. Even as his arm trembled around hers, he remained still, buried deep inside her. Eventually the stinging faded to a dull ache, and the fullness began to feel somewhat…good. Tentatively, Lily moved, and the sharp throbbing she felt wasn’t from pain.

“Oh,” she whispered. She tried it again.

“Oh indeed,” Julian groaned.

The fire the simple movement evoked in her propelled her further. She rocked her hips against him, and Julian’s hands clenched into a fist. “I think you’re getting the hang of this,” he grated.

She tipped her hips once more, and Julian’s restraint broke. He began to thrust himself deeper into her body. Lily had never felt so full before and so powerless over her own body. And yet, it was wildly erotic.

Appearing as if he was no longer content with her tentative moves, he cradled her hips, thrusting into her over and over again, increasing in intensity until it became a feverish pace that nearly tore her apart with pleasure. She lifted her legs, wrapping them around his hips, bringing him deeper.

Her head spun as the bliss built inside her. Somehow in this moment, she felt bonded with him. It was more than just sex, more than two bodies enjoying each other. She couldn’t explain it, but she knew this was more. It was meant to be and always had been.

Julian moved faster, grinding against her as her hot, wet slickness enveloped him. His touch was everywhere, as was hers. He let go of her hips, cupping her breast. His mouth dipped to one taut nipple, and he sucked it. The piercing draw from her breast and the relentless pounding was too much.

Kicking her head back, she screamed as she shuddered around him. It was an incredible moment in her life. Finally unleashed from the chains she wore in mindless abandon, she was free. And it felt so damn good. The spasms racked her body in tight, sensual waves, throwing her so high, she never wanted to come down.

Julian’s head tipped back, and his arms tightened around her. He roared his release, burying his head in the crook of her neck. One last spasm sent her body jerking against his, and then her arms fell to her sides. Her head swam as she lay beneath him, wanting him to remain inside her forever.

Minutes passed, and then he nipped at her soft flesh, chuckling when she whimpered. He lifted himself onto his forearms. She felt him jerk inside her once again, and she shivered. “I knew it would be like this,” he said.

She arched a brow lazily. “Did you?”

“Yes.” He brushed a light kiss across her lips. “Are you okay? Do you hurt?”

She glanced down at where their bodies still joined together. She was sore but still in one piece. After that, she expected she would have to put herself back together. “I’m okay.”

Julian placed another kiss against her cheek. “Stay here. I’m going to get something.”

When he slowly withdrew, she felt the delicious pull. She bit down, closing her eyes. Too sated to really care what he was up to, Lily let herself drift off into the warm afterglow. She heard him rummaging around in her bathroom and then water gushing from a faucet.

He returned to her, a damp washcloth in his hand. She frowned as he sat next to her and reached between her legs. Lily flushed. “You don’t have to do that. I can—”

Julian focused on her eyes. “No.” Then he began to gently wipe away all traces of her virginity.

She wasn’t sure how to feel about him tending to her in such a way. This was more intimate than what they had just shared, and it left her feeling out of sorts. Once he was done, he stood and disposed of the washcloth in the basket by the closet.

Lily sat up and winced. Okay, a little sorer than I originally thought.

“Are you okay? I shouldn’t have let go of myself like that. I could’ve hurt you.”

Her eyes widened, but it wasn’t his words or the ache that caused her reaction. That first night when he had come to her apartment, she had never laid eyes upon his back. In fact, he had always kept his back from her, and now she saw why. How she had never noticed this escaped her.

The taut skin over each of his shoulder blades bared the angry marks of where wings had been. The skin once torn open and stitched back together. The flesh was puckered and painful-looking. Each vicious cut was at least six inches long and two inches thick.

Julian stiffened. “Does it bother you?”

“No. I just…didn’t know.” It wasn’t like she saw the Fallen in a state of undress that often. Typically, she killed them or ran tail. “Does it hurt?” she asked, feeling foolish for doing so.

He shook his head. “Not for many years.”

“Oh.” Lily had this strange urge to touch the skin. To come so close to what made the Fallen who they were. “Will it ever heal?”

“I will bear the mark of my fall for eternity.”

That was a long time to be reminded of his disgrace. Then again, he fell, and she doubted that was the worst of his punishment. As wrong as it was, she felt sorry for him. What it must have been like to make one mistake and lose everything he had known or cherished. It had been his choice, but had he realized the consequences and how vast they would be?

Gazing up at him, she realized she had never really considered the Fallen’s pain before, their loss. If she was cast out of the Sanctuary for one mistake, wouldn’t she turn bitter? Would the loneliness their kind faced over the centuries be enough to turn them into the creations she hunted?

“I’m sorry.”

Julian’s eyes widened. “You’d apologize for my fall?”

Not sure if she had made a mistake by uttering those words, she shrugged. He had been relatively evasive when it came to the reason why he fell, but it seemed unfair that lust had brought him down to Earth.

What a traitorous line of thought, she realized.

He stared a moment, then smiled. “You’re a strange Nephilim.”

She almost laughed. “You’re a strange Fallen.”

“That I may be, but you have nothing to apologize for. Not for me. Besides, not a part of me regrets my choice any longer. It is what it is.” He lay on his side, supporting his head with one hand, watching her curiously, completely at ease in his nudity. He reached out and guided her down beside him. Once he had her tucked against him, he continued. “Leave with me.”

“What?”

“Leave with me,” he repeated. “We could go far away from here.”

Lily stared at him for a moment and then laughed. It was a combination of disbelief and surprise. “You aren’t serious.”

“I’m not?” His fingers slipped over her rib cage. “We could go anywhere in the world. There are places far enough away that even your duty to the Sanctuary cannot reach you, Lily.”

He was being serious. Oh, damn. She pushed up so she was eye level with him. “Julian.”

“You won’t have to worry about getting in trouble,” he pointed out rather casually. As if what he was suggesting was no big deal. “You wouldn’t have to answer to anyone. You could be free.”

His words held a certain appeal. It was more than the idea of no longer being tied to the Sanctuary, but the fact he wanted her to leave with him. The notion did silly things to her heart and clouded her thoughts.

There were days when she wanted nothing more than to disappear. The overworked and underappreciated syndrome, but she never seriously considered leaving. She had to remind herself it wasn’t an option as he trailed those agile fingers over the tips of her breasts. Her mouth watered. “I can’t, Julian.”

His fingers slipped to the other breast that was now aching and heavy. “You can do whatever you want.”

She licked her lips. “I can do what I want now.”

Julian raised a doubtful brow. “That isn’t true. You’re chained to your duty.” His finger curled around her hardened nipple as he spoke. “Do you think your Nathaniel will allow this to continue?”

Lily bristled. “Nathaniel has no control over me like that.”

“He doesn’t?” Julian chuckled softly, his smile tender. “He controls everything. He holds your Contract. Does that not mean you must obey his every decree?”

“Yes, but…” She trailed off. There was no pretty way of looking at this. Julian was right.

“There are no buts, darling,” he whispered as his gaze fixed on her rosy peaks.

“You don’t understand,” she argued. “As nice as what you offer sounds, it’s not possible.”

He shifted against her. “We will see.”

She glanced down to where his body brushed hers. He was hard, and all thoughts of forcing him to understand it could never be an option were thrown out the window. “Julian?”

He paused, grinning devilishly at her. Then he pressed her back down as he placed himself over her body. “I believe I could do this all day.”

One gentle thrust set her on fire. She reached down and cupped his rear. “I think I agree.”

And Julian did, over and over till they collapsed into each other’s arms. He didn’t mention her leaving again, and Lily was grateful. They were able to create a little cocoon in her room, where the world outside didn’t exist. In his arms, she could forget about her duty and what she would face when she returned to the Sanctuary. It didn’t matter that it was only temporary.