Unspoken

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 5

Emma stared at the indicator in her hand. It just couldn’t be true. Did two intersecting blue stripes forming a plus sign really mean that she was pregnant? It had been so long since she’d done this sort of test. With a pounding heart she got out the package. The directions couldn’t be clearer. A blue line in the window meant not pregnant. Two blue lines intersecting meant pregnant. How could this be possible? She and Johan had slept together only once recently, two weeks ago. And she could hardly remember the last time she had slept with her husband. Frantically she searched her memory. When was the last time with Olle? It must have been last summer. She counted the months since then: August, September, October, November, December. Good Lord, that would make her five months pregnant, and she ought to be showing more than she was. But her period was only three weeks late, and she’d had regular periods all fall. She felt suddenly faint when she realized what that meant. It had to be Johan. That Friday in October. His work had brought him to Gotland, and he had called her up. She was feeling weak and had agreed to meet him at the newsroom before he went back home. They had made love on the sofa. Damn it. How could she have such incredible bad luck? The one time they had given in when they were supposed to be taking a break from each other, and she ended up pregnant. That kind of thing could only happen to her.

She felt tears filling her eyes. This was more than she could take.

She just about jumped out of her skin when someone knocked on the bathroom door. She heard Olle’s voice saying, “Emma, are you almost ready?”

“Yes, just a minute.”

She tossed the indicator and the empty package in the wastebasket. She couldn’t say anything about this right now. She needed time to think. Quickly she washed her hands and opened the door.

“What’s wrong? Why are you so pale?” Olle gave her a worried look. “Are you sick?”

“You might call it that. I’m pregnant.”