Unwound

CHAPTER TWENTY

RONIN couldn’t get ahold of Amery.

Normally even if she was busy she’d at least text him back and let him know she’d call him when she had a chance.

So why hadn’t he heard from her in more than seven hours?

Don’t be a possessive asshole who needs to know where your woman is at all times.

He’d finished teaching the class of blue and green belts—what a trip that’d been—and was taking a breather in his office when Deacon poked his head in.

“Got a minute, Sensei?”

“What’s up?”

“Molly is here for my kickboxing class, and she wants to talk to you.”

There went Ronin’s theory that Amery had kept Molly late to work on the Okada project and had lost track of time. “Send her in.” As soon as he saw Molly’s face, he knew something was wrong.

“Sorry to bother you, but have you talked to Amery in the last few hours?”

He shook his head.

“Well, I sort of hoped she’d snuck out the back and just come here after . . .”

He fought his impatient response to tell her he didn’t have time to play these games. “After what?”

“After her parents’ surprise visit today.”

“Amery’s parents are in town?” His gaze sharpened. “Did something happen to her brother?”

“I don’t think so. They spent a long time in her office.”

“How long?”

“Two hours. I heard some arguing, but couldn’t make out specifics. Then her parents left. Amery didn’t walk them out or introduce them to me or Chaz. She just stayed in her office with the door closed. I didn’t want to bug her, you know?” Molly squeezed her training gloves in her hands. “So when it was time to shut down, I saw she wasn’t in her office. I checked her loft, just to be sure, and she wasn’t there either.”

“What time did her parents leave?”

“About four. I think if she would’ve been meeting them for supper or something, she would’ve told me. Or you would know, right?”

“I haven’t heard from Amery since before lunch.” Ronin glanced at the clock. Seven fifteen. No one had heard from her for more than three hours. That wasn’t like her.

“So you have any idea where she could’ve gone?” Molly asked. “I’m worried.”

The last time she’d suffered through a bad day . . . she’d at least texted him where she was. That she’d fallen off the grid didn’t bode well.

In that moment he knew exactly where he’d find her.

At least he hoped.

Ronin stood. “Thanks, Molly. I appreciate you coming to me with this.”

In the doorway, Molly stopped and faced him. “You should know that the weeks you guys were apart, she was a mess. Now . . . she’s happy with you. I know you’re happy with her. It makes me sick someone would try to ruin that. First someone from your past and then someone from hers.”

Deacon stepped aside as Molly walked out.

Ronin shoved his hand through his hair. “I’ll be gone the rest of the night.”

“Do you know where Amery is?”

“I’ve got a pretty good idea.”

• • •

HE found her in a back booth at the Rialto Lounge, knocking back two-for-one happy-hour specials.

An immense feeling of relief flowed through him. She didn’t notice him at first, so he had a minute to study her, his beautiful troubled woman. Her hair was loose; a few sections were twisted from her habit of twirling it around her finger when she was upset. Five empty lowball glasses were pushed against the wall, and the sixth sat in front of her, half empty.

Ronin slid into her side of the booth.

Amery looked at him, but didn’t seem all that startled to see him. He pushed her hair over her shoulder and leaned in to kiss her, tasting the tartness of the gin and the sweetness that was just her. The kiss went on and on, soft and slow, until her face became damp, and he caught the salty taste of her tears. He slipped his mouth free and brushed even softer kisses over her trembling lips as he tenderly wicked away the tears from the corners of her eyes. “Baby. It’s okay. I’m here.”

“I knew you’d find me.”

“I’ll always find you.” He nuzzled her ear. “I’ll always come running after you. Always.”

Her shoulders started to shake, and the real tears started.

Ronin pushed the table back and picked her up, cradling her to his chest and holding her tightly as she cried. He rubbed his lips over the crown of her head, breathing her in, offering her his strength, his heart breaking that this strong, independent woman needed it.

After the storm of tears subsided, she placed a soft kiss on his neck. “Thank you. Will you take me home? To my place?”

He shoved aside the reality that she didn’t consider his penthouse home. “Sure. Is your car here?”

“No. I walked. I needed the fresh air to try to clear my head.”

He kept an arm around her shoulder as he led her outside. Tiny flakes of snow had started to fall, and Amery hadn’t worn a coat. He unzipped his leather jacket and stopped to put it on her. After zipping it up to her chin, Ronin noticed she was crying again. “What?”

“You take good care of me. If no one else ever sees that or ever knows that but me, it’s enough. I don’t want to explain it. I don’t need to explain it or defend it because it belongs to us.”

He framed her face with his hands. “You and me? This matters. Nothing else does.”

She closed her eyes and curled in to him.

Ronin bundled her into his car and found a parking place close to her building. He unlocked her alley door with his key and followed her upstairs.

Amery immediately went into the kitchen and took a bottle of gin out of the cupboard and one glass.

Ronin raised an eyebrow at her, as if to say, Don’t you think you’ve had enough to drink?

She poured and slid it across the countertop. “For you.”

He opened his mouth to protest and she shook her head. “Trust me. You’ll need it.”

That bad feeling reappeared, stronger than ever. “Amery. What’s going on?”

“Let me get warmer clothes on and then we’ll talk.”

She swayed on the way to her bedroom.

Ronin didn’t touch the booze. He stopped in front of the living room window and watched it snow.

With Amery having downed six drinks, he wasn’t confident they’d be doing much talking. Sure enough, when he went to check on her, she’d put on her pajamas and slipped into bed.

He swept her hair from her face. “Baby, I know you’re tired, but we need to talk about what happened when your parents came to visit you today.”

“They brought me something.”

“What?”

“Some stuff. It’s in an envelope.”

“Where?”

“I put it under the sink in the kitchen.”

“Why?”

She frowned. “To hide it. I wanted to burn it . . . or smash it. Not even show it to you.”

It was bad enough she wanted to hide it? “Tell me what it is.”

Amery turned away from him, snuggling deeper into her pillow.

“Don’t go to sleep yet.”

“I’m tired. So fucking tired of all of this.”

“Amery. Please get up and show me—”

“I can’t watch it again.”

Watch it?

He waited for her to say more, but her breathing slowed almost immediately.

Ronin found the thick envelope addressed to Mr. and Mrs. James Hardwick. The postmark date had been smeared. He dumped the contents on the counter. Two DVDs, a stack of photos, and a typewritten note about . . . him.

He thumbed through the photos, his sense of dread growing. These had been sent to Amery’s parents? The poses weren’t as explicit as some he’d done. But there were a lot of different women.

He made it through the stack, more than a little rattled. Then he grabbed the gin and the DVDs before he returned to the living room to see what was on the discs.

After the first scene with Naomi, Ronin had to keep from putting his fist through the TV.

His ex had done some seriously fucked-up shit, but this went beyond anything he could’ve imagined. Looking at the footage, he could tell she’d set up cameras not only in her bedroom, but in Ronin’s bedroom. He’d never consented to that. Never.

He seemed stuck in an out-of-body experience as he watched himself on-screen, binding Naomi. Fucking Naomi. He cringed in the scene where he’d slapped her across the face. He had to pause and curb his anger. Why hadn’t he said no to her that time? Afterward, he’d felt so ashamed. He closed his eyes, wishing he could just fucking erase that memory.

“I don’t see the big deal. You use forcible contact all the time in your role as Sensei. In your role as master, you are supposed to take into account what I, as your submissive, want. I need this.”

“Don’t call me master. We are not in the Dominant and submissive roles. Naomi, you are my rope model and my lover. You aren’t even my student, so you don’t understand the role of violence. And yet you’re demanding I use it against you during an intimate moment?”

“You use me anyway. I’m nothing more than a mannequin for you to bind and a hole to stick your cock in when you’re done.”

She’d started to cry then. Manipulating him. Demanding to know why she had no say in their public or private play. And like a fucking idiot, he’d given in. Afterward, he drank until he’d passed out. And he stayed away from her for three weeks.

That’s when he’d decided to convert the third bedroom into a play room.

That’d also been the beginning of the end.

Was this the beginning of the end for him and Amery?

No way. No fucking way.

Ronin couldn’t imagine how upset she’d been at seeing this display of him with his former lover. Especially when that wasn’t really him at all.

But to find out her parents had also seen it? That this was their first—hell, their only impression of him? He was shocked Amery hadn’t ordered him out of her life.

“Naomi goes for the jugular, doesn’t she?” Amery said softly behind him.

He closed his eyes and prayed he wasn’t about to lose this woman. “A nick, rather than a slice just to see how fast you’ll bleed out.” Or see if someone will notice and save you. “I had no idea she’d . . .”

“I guessed that. But I’m surprised you hadn’t expected something like this from her. Do you think she kept it all these years to blackmail you?”

“Not for money when humiliation is so much more damaging.” He ejected the disk. “Do I even want to know what’s on the other DVD?”

“It’s outtakes from some of your fights.”

Fucking awesome. “This is why your parents showed up unannounced. Naomi sent them a hate package.”

“Yes.” Amery sighed. “They forced me to watch it with them in the room.”

Then Ronin was on his feet, standing in front of her, but he hesitated to touch her. “I . . .” What the fuck did he even say to that?

“It was horrible.” Amery wrapped her arms around herself. “They kept asking questions and treating me like some kind of victim of abuse.”

He just stared at her helplessly as she matter of factly relayed every ugly accusation her parents had hurled at her for being involved with someone like him. By the time she finished speaking, she was crying so hard he couldn’t understand her. Regardless of whether she wanted it or not, Ronin hauled her into his arms and held her.

She clung to him. He waited for the moment her embarrassment would turn into anger and she’d lash out at him. He steeled himself against it.

But it didn’t happen.

He had no idea how long they remained like that, Amery sobbing against his chest while his self-recriminations paralyzed him.

“So after they left, I needed some time alone to try to process everything.”

“Where did you get to in that process?”

“Same place I started—except the booze gave me a buzz. I tried to look at it from both sides. From their side. How I’d feel if I’d gotten something like that in the mail.”

“And?”

“And it didn’t matter. I couldn’t separate myself enough.”

“Separate yourself from what?”

“From the anger and humiliation.”

Ronin tipped her head back to look into her eyes. “I can’t imagine the anger you’re feeling toward me right now.”

Amery’s eyes searched his. “Ronin, I’m not angry at you. I’m angry for you. No matter how it ended between you and Naomi, she doesn’t have the right to humiliate you. The only anger on my side is directed at my parents. They came here for two things. To judge me for my involvement with you and to show me your humiliation. When I tried to explain that they didn’t understand you, or our relationship, they insisted I’d been brainwashed. That I was excusing my abuser’s behavior.”

Abuser. That twisted his stomach.

She touched his face. “So according to them, I’ve been abused by the man who taught me how to defend myself against a real threat. Abused by the man who respects my career aspirations and asked his family to consider giving my designs a shot. Abused by the man who won’t let me hide my wants and desires from him. Abused by the man who knows me, as well as my heart and my body. Abused by the man who gives me his coat when it’s cold, who feeds me when I’m hungry, who nourishes my soul just by his existence. I can’t stand by and let them tell me that I’m abused . . . by the one man who taught me what it really means to love someone.”

He closed his eyes against the surge of emotion. This is what she meant when she said no one else mattered. She knew the truth about them and it was enough. God. He loved this woman with everything he had.

Amery tapped his cheek. “Look. At. Me.”

Ronin slowly lifted his lids, but two tears escaped anyway.

“Don’t,” she whispered. “It’s not worth your tears.”

“But you are.”

“You didn’t even cry when you were beat to shit.”

“This hurts me so much worse than that, because it’s hurting you.”

She sniffled. “But it’s not. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”

“So your anger, humiliation, and indignation is all for me?”

“Who else would it be for?”

“For you for having to deal with it because you’re involved with me.”

“Oh, Ronin. No.” Her eyes filled with tears again. “I hate that she’s still fucking with you. With us.”

What had he ever done to deserve this beautiful, wonderful woman? She should be running from him. Instead, here she was, crying for him. Hurting for him. Ronin caressed her cheek. “She brought your parents into it, thinking it’d mortify you, and you’d lash out and blame me. Naomi wants to hurt you because she knows that will hurt me.”

She rested her forehead to his chest. “What a mess.”

“And yet you’re still here.”

“Because you and I aren’t in the wrong. You were wronged. What happened between you two doesn’t concern me, and it sure as hell doesn’t concern my parents.”

He stroked her hair, unsure where she was going with this.

“If someone had sent them pictures from the demo we did at the club, or if they’d placed cameras here or at your place and had shots of us in intimate moments, that might’ve given my parents the idea I was in an unhealthy relationship. Then I could understand their need for a face-to-face visit with me.”

“But?”

“But they chose to come here and confront me and demand . . .” She made a hiccupping sob. “They gave me an ultimatum. Break it off with you and get some help. If I choose to stay with you, then they’re washing their hands of me. I can’t go crying to them when it’s goes bad.”

“God. Baby. That’s harsh.”

“I know. I just can’t help but wonder how sad it’d be if I was in an abusive situation. They’d turn me away and say ‘we told you so’ rather than helping me because I didn’t take their help on their time frame.”

“Luckily you’ll never have to test those fears. You’ll never need to go crying to them because this won’t go bad between us when it’s so good.”

“You know what bothers me? The only time they show up during the six years I’ve lived in Denver is to cram yet another thing they perceive I’ve done wrong down my throat. They don’t know me at all, Ronin. They never have.”

“Their loss. I know you. I know this big heart of yours, and I know this is hurting you. No matter how different your life philosophies are from theirs, they are still your parents. There’s part of you that wants their acceptance. Not necessarily their unconditional love, because it doesn’t sound like they’ve ever been capable of giving that. But at least their acknowledgment that you’re happy in your own life.”

“Do you ever think you’ll get that acceptance about your life choices from your grandfather?”

What a question. He didn’t think Amery asked just to deflect the conversation from her own situation, but because her confrontation had brought family issues front and center. She’d respected his boundaries and hadn’t asked specifics on his current relationship with his grandfather. But now those boundaries had been tested, and he felt, maybe for the first time, he could be honest with her—and himself—about his complicated relationship with the man he both admired and resented. “He’s been different since everything happened with Naomi. I know he feels guilty—as he should. He stopped putting pressure on me to take over the company. But because of our history, I’ve wondered if he was using reverse psychology on me.”

“Sometimes when you talk about him it’s with . . . disdain, like he’s the evil, controlling emperor. And other times you almost sound fond of him.”

Ronin threaded their fingers together. “There have been times when I’ve disliked what he’s done or the parameters he’s set, but I don’t hate him. I respect him too much.”

“Do you think he respects you?”

“I know he does. That’s why he was after me to run Okada—he knew I wouldn’t run it into the ground.” Ronin kissed her knuckles. “How did we get on this topic?”

“I’m tired of talking about my fucked-up family situation.” She sighed. “In fact, I’m just plain tired. Too much booze, too much angst. Can we just crawl into bed and put this day behind us?”

“Whatever you want.”

Amery shed her clothes and slipped between the sheets naked. “It’s been a while since you stayed over here.”

Ronin spooned her. It’d be thoughtless, given the state of her emotions, to say he hoped it’d be the last time either one of them crashed here. He was damn near desperate for her to make the final leap, but she needed to do it on her own time frame.

• • •

THE next morning, Amery smelled coffee, and that enticed her to get out of bed. She saw Ronin at the breakfast bar with a baker’s box. “Am I witnessing Ronin Black holding a box of doughnuts?”

“Of course not. These are seven-nut, whole-grain pumpkin muffins sweetened with organic honey and raw sugar.”

“Is it wrong to hope one day I’ll see you with powdered sugar all over your face and frosting in your teeth?”

“Yes.” He kissed her, but not a pleasant good-morning smooch. A whole-body kiss with one hand clamped on her butt cheek, the other on the back of her head as he devoured her mouth.

Dizzy and panting from the sheer passion of Ronin’s kiss was a perfect way to start her day.

He growled against her lips, “For as poorly as the evening started out, it sure ended with a bang.”

“Mmm-hmm.” As many times as they’d had sex, made love, fucked each other raw during their relationship, the joining of their bodies had gone beyond that last night, when they’d turned to each other in the night. Clichéd for sure, but they’d reached another level of intimacy and deepened their connection.

“I love waking up with the taste of you on my tongue.” He zeroed in on the sweep of skin between her shoulder and neck. “I let you sleep in, but now I can’t think of anything but dragging you back to bed,” he murmured.

“I can’t. I’m already late. We’re interviewing office help today.” She disentangled from him and grabbed the mug he’d filled for her. “What inspired you to get breakfast?”

“I stopped by the hotel your parents are staying in and introduced myself.”

Amery choked on her coffee. “Why did you do that?”

His eyes were unreadable. “I wanted to head off another confrontation with them for you.”

“And?”

“And I also dropped off a prepaid Fed-Ex box and asked them to mail the extra set of copies they’d made because I need all of it for evidence against Naomi.”

“You’re taking her to court?”

“I don’t know what my legal options are, but I can’t ignore it.” Ronin ran his hand through his hair. “At first I was inclined to follow your suggestion and blow the whole thing off. Staying strong together is the best revenge. But what if that just pisses her off more and she uploads one of those DVDs to YouTube? Or if she sends copies to the parents of my students? I have no problem telling people about my rope expertise, but those pictures and DVDs are only about my humiliation. I can’t help but fear if that DVD did get out, she could ruin my dojo.

“So I’m taking precautions against that. The Okada tech team is scouring the Internet for anything untoward regarding me. The legal team is crafting a letter. A copy of it will go to Naomi’s family, so they understand the seriousness of the situation.” His smile was decidedly sharklike. “No one wants to cross Okada’s legal department. One of the best in Japan.”

“What did my parents say?”

“I told them they didn’t need to wait around today to hear your answer. That you’d made the choice to stay with me long before my vengeful ex-girlfriend attempted to wreak havoc with our lives.”

“That’s it?”

Ronin cornered her. “No, baby, that’s not it. I told them I loved you and I’d never hurt you. Which is the truth.”

“How did they respond?”

“I didn’t give them a chance to pull me into a pointless argument. I said if they wanted to cut you out of their lives, it was their loss. Because I would be in your life for good.”

Amery stared at the fierceness coloring his eyes.

“The only thing that matters to me is that you love me and trust in me.”

“I do. You know I do. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

He twined a section of her hair around his finger. “How did I get so lucky to have a woman like you fall in love with a man like me?”

“Ronin, I think the luck is all on my side.”

“How about if I pick you up after work and take you to dinner? We’ve haven’t done any of that couple stuff you’re so fond of.”

“I’d love that.”

“It’s a date.” He brushed his lips over hers. “Let’s eat breakfast.”

She eyed the muffins. They looked utterly disgusting. “I’m not really hungry.”

He laughed. “As soon as I’m gone, you’ll sneak back up here and have a cookies-and-cream Pop-Tart, won’t you?”

Amery smiled. “Busted. I don’t see why every meal of the day has to be healthy.”

“What you feed the body, feeds the mind and feeds the soul.”

“Your body might be a temple, but mine isn’t,” she retorted.

“Wrong. I worship your body plenty.” He kissed her in that thoroughly mind-boggling way that left her clinging to him and cursing him. Her tingling lips made her tingling body parts very jealous.

“Are we okay?”

“I am. I really am.” She blew out a slow breath. “Maybe before you take off we should load some of my stuff into your car for you to take up to the penthouse.”

Pure satisfaction shone in his eyes. “It would be my greatest pleasure.”