Up The Down Staircase

41. Do You Plan to Indulge in a Turkey?

Sat, Nov. 21

Dear Ellen,

Yesterday was a day to remember. A day that ran a gamut. A day that provided what's known in Pedagese as "a spectrum of experiences." In the morning I found myself in the midst of a cafeteria riot which I had, somehow, instigated; in the evening I was dancing in the gym with the same boys who had been rioting a few hours earlier.

It began in my English class. Some of the kids had come to English straight from lunch, and I overheard them complaining about conditions in the school cafeteria. Since we were working on a letter-writing unit, I suggested that they compose a letter to the Board of Education, describing existing conditions and demanding better facilities. We had a preliminary discussion, and I realized that I had lifted the lid off long smoldering resentments: "We have to swallow lunch in 20 minute shifts . . ." "We have to eat standing up . . ." "Can't move . . . can't smoke . . . can't talk—only whisper . . . lousy food. . . . They treat us like cattle . . ."

The next period—my unassigned—I passed through the Students' Cafeteria on my way to the Teachers' Lunchroom next door for some coffee. The Aide assigned to the cafeteria was not on duty. It was jammed with kids, half of them standing; it was stuffy, noisy, messy with soiled trays on wooden tables, paper bags, milk containers, coke bottles, candy wrappers. Under a "No Talking" sign, leaning insolently against the wall, was Joe Ferone.

"You slumming?" he said.

"You could use some extra chairs," I said inanely.

"Plenty of chairs in the Teachers' Lunchroom," he said. It was true. At that time of day, there were never more than a few teachers there. "We're supposed to be as good as you? Can we bring some of your chairs here?"

"Of course," I said. "Just be sure to return them at the end of the period. Why don't you and a few of the boys—"

Before I could finish, there was a stampede to the Teachers' Lunchroom: boys shoving, pushing, shouting, dragging chairs, waving chairs over their heads, fighting for seats, yelling . . .

Suddenly—a shrill whistle: the Admiral himself.

"Silence! I want absolute silence!" He is furious. "There is to be no talking here of any kind. Anyone opens his mouth, you're in real trouble. I don't want to hear a word out of you!"

They obey. All talking stops. Not a word is spoken. Then, slowly, methodically, in ominous and terrible wordlessness, they all rise, as if at a signal, and begin smashing dishes, breaking bottles, throwing books, trays, papers on the floor, flinging food against the walls; still silent, they march around the room, weaving in and out and around the tables, a mob, mute and inexorable; the only sound is the stamping of feet, crunching of glass, breaking, cracking, splintering—punctuated by McHabe's helpless whistle.

It was an extraordinary and terrifying sight. Who called the cops, where they came from so quickly, I don't know—but the moment they appeared, the mob turned into kids, weaving back to their places in the same grim silence, and waiting with vacant faces among the debris.

It was like something rehearsed, performed, and finished; so that when the bell rang, they left as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

"I'm afraid it was my fault, Mr. McHabe," I began.

"You're damn right it was your fault. I warned you. I told you what would happen if you run this school with ideas. You didn't believe me. Maybe now you will."

Then notes, circulars, directives began to fly fast and furious: "punitive action . . ." "firm measures . . ." "name of each student who was in the lunchroom . . ." "disgraceful exhibition of . . ." "to forestall future incidents . . ." until the inevitable "It has come to my attention."

And all through this avalanche, Ferone's mocking eyes seemed to follow me.

I tried to find out why conditions in the cafeteria could not be improved; the kids' complaints were certainly justified. Or why couldn't they eat out? Back to my source I went: the kids themselves. I'm enclosing some of their answers:

One term they alloud us in the lunchenette across the street and the drug store on the corner. But we were too much of a public nuisense and caused a disturbance to the peace of the other eaters. So they disalloud it.

If we get in an accident during school hours it's illegal. Supposing a car hits us while going to lunch? Last year the school got sued because this boy was sent with a pass from a teacher to buy her some aspirin & got runned over. Now we all must suffer for it.

It's expensive to eat out of school. Still, they should let us. After all we're human too. So what if we knock a salt seller over or spill something by pushing each other or have a loud conversation in a restarant? Does that make us Juvenile Delinquents or sex manics?

Excuses and excuses and reasons and reasons is all they give us but I don't buy it.

They tried to add on 10 extra minutes for each eating shift to make it a real 1/2 hr lunch, but these minutes they had to cut out off other periods and the teachers said they couldn't afford to lose the 2 minutes off teaching time especially in Home Room.

One idea was brought out that when we brought lunch from home to have us eat it in the auditorium. But if we wanted to conclude our meal by bying milk or ice cream we couldn't do it. Also the auditorium usually shouldn't be as messy as a cafeteria. They would have to get an extra teacher to watch that we didn't get too messy.

What's the use of finding more chairs to eat when there aren't enough tables?

I'm beginning to see some of the problems McHabe has to face.

As a disciplinary measure, he wanted to call off the Thanksgiving Dance scheduled that evening in the gym, but the tickets had been bought, the school orchestra had been rehearsed, the punch had been prepared, and he was made to see that punishing many for the misdeeds of a few was not only undemocratic, but was likely to lead to another "unwarranted outburst" on the part of the kids.

That afternoon I found on my desk a melting chocolate turkey and a card:

"A Happy Thanksgiving and many more

From the whole Room of 304."

And that evening, at the dance (I was one of the chaperones) I could hardly recognize in the scrubbed, combed, brushed, dressed up and oh, so polite kids the same ones who had left the cafeteria a shambles.

The gym was garlanded with festoons and balloons and crepe paper ribbons wound around basketball baskets and light fixtures. The parallel bars, the wooden horses, the mats were pushed against the walls; in one corner sat the school orchestra, each musician in a purple blazer with a gold CC on it, and a purple and gold satin CC draped around the drum; in another corner a table had been set up with a bowl of muddy punch, paper cups, and several packages of Lorna Doone cookies.

The other chaperones—Bea, cozy and beaming; Mary, harried by extra duties—were pouring the punch. Henrietta, who, I was told, had never missed a dance, was absent. So was Paul.

But it was the boys and girls who were a revelation to me. The boys especially, for many of the girls come to class with elaborate hairdos and makeup. It was the first time I had seen the boys dressed in suits, jackets, ties; shoes shined; faces stiff with decorum. Each had his name written on an orange paper pumpkin (left over from last year's Hallowe'en Dance) and pinned to his lapel; each said with quiet solemnity:

"Good evening, Miss Barrett."

By far the most polite—and the shyest—was Lou Martin, the cut-up, the class comedian. He had approached to ask me for a dance, his body rigid and tilting slightly sideways with excess of politeness:

"May I please have the pleasure?"

He danced me off, holding me as if I were a soap-bubble, his hand barely touching my shoulder-blade. Perspired, committed, urging me with his face rather than his feet into a respectful two-step, he made gallant conversation:

"Do you plan to indulge in a turkey? . . . It's quite pleasant, the gym, the way they fixed it up. . . . Are you enjoying your teaching here? . . . You dance very excellently."

Ferone wasn't there, nor Eddie Williams, nor Vivian Paine; but Harry A. Kagan, the Students' Choice, was very much there, for the dance was sponsored by the G.O., of which he is president.

"These kind of affairs are rather childish, I think," he confided in me as he propelled me firmly around the gym, "but as long as it's for the G.O."

But when the kids danced with each other, they let go with wild gyrations, fast hops, twirls, pelvic twists, and rubber-kneed acrobatics. Lou Martin and Carole Blanca executed with abandon something known as "The Slop"; and Linda and Bob did an exhibition dance called, I think, "The Frug."

I loved them all last evening; especially Jose Rodriguez, who was not dancing, but who had paid his 75 cents for his ticket and had put on his best suit and had stood alone, waiting for an opportunity to speak to me. As he was about to leave, he took a deep breath, approached me, and said:

"I just want you to know how I feel about English. I think it's the greatest subject I ever had. I'm just — I just want you to know."

There are times when I wouldn't change places with anyone.

I'm exhausted—but have to save my strength for next week: Midterm Exams to take home and mark over the four-day Thanksgiving holiday.

A happy one to you—and many more—from Sylvia Barrett in 304.

Love,

Syl

P.S. Did you know that there are more school children in New York City than soldiers in the entire U.S. Army?

S.

42. I’m Not Cheating, I’m Left-Handed

FROM: JAMES J. MCHABE, ADM. ASST.

TO: ALL TEACHERS

RE: MIDTERM EXAMINATIONS

THE FACT THAT THANKSGIVING FALLS WHEN IT DOES THIS YEAR IS CAUSING DIFFICULTIES IN MIDTERM EXAMINATION SCHEDULES. SINCE THERE WILL BE NO FINAL EXAMS, MIDTERM MARKS WILL COUNT AS 2/3 OF THE FINAL MARK. IMPRESS UPON YOUR STUDENTS THE IMPORTANCE OF ACHIEVING AS HIGH A MARK AS POSSIBLE. VIGILANT PROCTORING DURING THE EXAMINATIONS IS ESSENTIAL TO PRECLUDE ANY TEMPTATION TO CHEAT.

PROCTORING INSTRUCTIONS:

1. ARRANGE SEATS IN EXAMINATION ROOM IN ALTERNATE ROWS, ONE SEAT DIRECTLY BEHIND THE OTHER. A SEAT NOT PROPERLY ALIGNED PRESENTS THE POSSIBILITY OF AN UNOBSTRUCTED VIEW OF ANOTHER'S PAPER.

2. STUDENTS ARE TO PLACE ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF THE ROOM ALL BOOKS, NOTEBOOKS, POCKETBOOKS AND PERSONAL POSSESSIONS.

3. PLACE EXAMINATION PAPERS FACE DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF EACH DESK, AT RIGHT ANGLES TO THE BLANK ANSWER PAPERS, UNTIL THE BELL RINGS, AT WHICH TIME THE STUDENTS ARE TO TURN THEIR PAPERS OVER IN UNISON.

4. DO NOT ALLOW STUDENTS TO LEAVE THEIR SEATS FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER. THE PROCTOR IS TO APPROACH THEM AT THEIR SEATS TO DISTRIBUTE PAPERS AND TO ANSWER QUESTIONS.

5. NO QUESTIONS ARE TO BE ANSWERED BY THE PROCTOR.

6. IF A STUDENT DESIRES TO GO TO THE LAVATORY, THE PROCTOR WILL ESCORT THE STUDENT TO THE DOOR OF THE EXAMINATION ROOM AND SUMMON THE HALL PROCTOR, WHO WILL ESCORT THE STUDENT TO THE LAVATORY AND WILL REMAIN IN THE LAVATORY UNTIL THE STUDENT IS FINISHED. MALE TEACHERS WILL ESCORT BOYS, FEMALE TEACHERS WILL ESCORT GIRLS. THEN THE HALL PROCTOR WILL ESCORT THE STUDENT BACK TO THE DOOR OF THE EXAMINATION ROOM AND HAND HIM OVER TO THE ROOM PROCTOR.

7. PROCTORS ARE TO WATCH STUDENTS ACTIVELY THROUGHOUT THE EXAMINATION AND BE ON GUARD FOR THE FOLLOWING:

EYES ROVING

LIPS MOVING

LEFT ARM NOT COVERING PAPER

BENDING DOWN TO TIE SHOE LACE OR PICK UP FALLEN OBJECT

BLOWING NOSE, YAWNING OR SNEEZING TOO LOUDLY

REACHING INTO POCKET

CRUMPLING SCRATCH PAPER INTO A BALL

STRETCHING LEGS TOO FAR OUT

STUDYING NAILS OR INSIDES OF WRISTS

IMPRESS UPON STUDENTS THE IMPORTANCE OF HIGH ETHICAL STANDARDS: WHEN THEY CHEAT THEY CHEAT ONLY THEMSELVES. IF THEY ARE CAUGHT CHEATING, THE PROCTOR MUST BE BLAMED FOR LAX SUPERVISION.

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: Room 304

TO: Room 508

Dear Bea—

Just got Admiral's directive on Midterm proctoring—with emphasis on marks and warnings against cheating. Cause and effect? I asked my kids to write down how they feel about marks and exams; am eager to read what they have to say. As for cheating, it seems to me that—watched by hawk-eyed proctor—even if they had no intention to cheat, they'd be tempted to outwit him. Has anyone tried Honor System? I have a hunch that if they felt they were trusted, they'd rise to that trust.

I have three room proctoring assignments. Thank God I'm not a hall proctor!

What do I do if a kid is not covering with his left arm a paper which is not at right angles to his desk?

Syl.

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: 508

TO: 304

Dear Syl,

You either kill the kid or yourself.

Honor System would never work here—too great a premium on the Mighty Mark, which determines whether or not a kid gets into college and causes parental pressures and senior breakdowns. This is true of academic youngsters; non-academic ones cheat pour le sport, as a matter of bravado, ingenuity or class status. Not to try to cheat is square.

Trend is changing, though, from person-to-person cheating to cooperative cheating and teamwork. Some of the excuses they offer, when detected, are: altruism, good sportsmanship, and "I'm not cheating, I'm left-handed!"

The kids put the burden on teacher: "What's the difference to you if you add another 10 points?" "Why did you fail me? I didn't do nothing!" The reply, of course, is: "That's just it." I'd like to know if you get any insights from their own comments on marks. You're a brave girl; we who are about to die salute you!

Bea

43. As Far As Marks

As far as marks, you can either better yourself or become lower. Marks can be fair or unfair depending on how the student answers questions from the teacher and whether or not the teacher asks the questions a student can answer.

Harry A. Kagan

(The Students Choice)

The passing mark should be "50" and not "65." Personaly I don't care but I worry about my "parents".

Chas. H. Robbins

1. On the pro side marks are good to the teacher. In showing how much the pupil listens to her.

2. On the con side marks are bad to the pupil. If he doesn't do so good on a test.

Teenager

Due to marks you can't not cheat.

Constant Cheater

Teachers too stingy with the marks and unfair in dishing them out. Questions are too prejudice and tests are too hard.

Edward Williams, Esq.

Do away with them, after all we can get along in our social life without marks.

Linda Rosen

Marks are important because for colleges or jobs they want your average and the average for the subject is made up of marks and the average for the term is made up of the average of the different subjects and the average for all terms is what they want.

Crammer

E.W. was copying from F.A. in French, also L.M. and L.R. And others!

Guess Who

Sometimes I do my homework and the teacher doesn't even mark it or I recite in class and it doesn't count, it's a waste of my time. Like when I studied the wrong thing.

A True Pupil

Why can't they scatter exams insted of making us study severall subjects the same night, it makes no sence?

Failing

I don't think talking out or horsing around should be avaraged in with the marks. A teacher may hate you, after all he's human, Ha-ha! and he might give you a zero in conduct. One zero for talking can pull down the whole average! But it doesn't matter anyhow, everybody gets promoted. Sooner or later!

Lou Martin

I wrote the same identical book report for two different English teachers I had last term. One gave me 91 and the other 72 on the same identical paper. Go figure it out!

I think class discussion should be counted and not tests because you can say what you really think and not what they want you to say.

Carole Blanca

Marks encourage us to cheat though I personally don't.

Honest Abe

You either pass or fail, no two ways about it.

Zero

Best marks go to cheaters and memorizers. Marks depend on memorizing and not on real knowledge. When you cram into your head for a test you may get a high mark but forget it the next day. That's not an education. I suggest just Good and Bad at the end of the term on report cards. Or maybe nothing.

Frank Allen

The reason my marks are low is because teachers call on me the one time I'm unprepaired and never all the times I am.

Disgusted

Exams show more the paper and not the individual.

Teachers give tests for spite and to get even. Or just to keep the class quiet. (This is the last time I'm writting to answer you!)

Marks should be based on class work and not on tests when the nerves take over. When talking in class (English) and the teacher listens to me I feel more courage to say it.

Jose Rodriguez

I use only 10% or less of what I study. It's a waist.

Dropout

Cheat is Teach backwards! ! !

Doodlebug

TO: ALL TEACHERS

FROM: JAMES J. MCHABE, ADM. ASST.

PLEASE PLOT AND HAND IN THE MEDIAN PERCENTILE CURVE BASED ON THE MIDTERM MARKS IN EACH OF YOUR CLASSES. IF A CLASS CURVE FALLS BELOW THE PERCENTILE OF FAILURES ALLOTTED TO IT, THE EFFICACY OF THE TEACHER MUST BE QUESTIONED. TEACHERS WITH THE HIGHEST NUMBER OF PASSING STUDENTS ARE TO BE COMMENDED.

JJ McH

44. Lavatory Escort

Wed., Nov. 25

Dear Ellen,

It looks as if I might be fired from the school system—because I failed to provide a lavatory escort for Joe Ferone.

If this doesn't make sense, it's because it doesn't; but I’ll start at the beginning. It was during Midterm Exams this morning. Midterms are really final exams, but they're given in November, with high pomp and protocol. Books piled in front of the room, seats in alternate rows, kids: "Can we copy?" "What's the answer to question 2?" "It's not fair! We never had this!" "How we supposed to answer this?" Confusion about money to be collected for Thanksgiving baskets; confusion about Midterm exam envelopes delivered to the wrong room; confusion about proctoring assignments; and the usual confusion about bells. Finally silence, except for the scratching of pens and shuffling of feet.

Suddenly—a problem. Ferone has to leave the room. I escort him to the door—but there is no hall proctor in sight—and he is not supposed to go unescorted. What to do? His need is urgent. We stand in the doorway for a moment, testing each other with our eyes. The situation is fraught. This may be my chance to win his trust at last. I whisper—in order not to disturb the others—my permission for him to go alone. It is understood that he is honor-bound not to use the lavatory for any but legitimate purposes; not as a reference room, not to look up any answers that may be secreted on his person, not even for a quick smoke. He goes, and I return to my observation perch at the back of the room (so that the kids can't see whom I am watching: a tip from Admiral Ass!). A few minutes later, the Admiral himself appears in the doorway, white with rage, Ferone at his side. Clash of swords; two enemies face to face, on either side of Ferone; the showdown—but sotto-voce, for we have an audience.

McH: What is the meaning of this?

I: Of what?

McH: You let him out of the room unescorted?

I: He had to go

McH: Unescorted?

I: There was no hall proctor.

McH: You should have waited for one.

I: The situation did not warrant waiting.

McH: Do you realize his exam paper may be invalidated?

I: Why?

McH: He may have been looking up answers!

I: I don't think so. He told me he wouldn't.

McH: He told you?

I: Yes.

McH: And you believed him?

I: I believe him.

McH: Go back to your seat, young man. Miss Barrett, this is not the time and place to explain to you the gravity of your position. You had explicit instructions; you disobeyed them. You'll hear from me later. In the meantime, you will please put his paper aside when he is finished. The outcome of his examination will have a direct bearing on you. You understand that?

I: I think so.

McH: The second girl in the third row—eyes on your paper!

Exit the Admiral.

Ferone and I look at each other. His face is impassive. Will he fail the exam to vindicate me? He is very bright; he has been an F student only because he chose to be.

Suddenly he has become a moral issue by which I stand or fall. The incident of the lavatory has brought into focus my values against McHabe's—everything I believe in as opposed to all that is petty, regimented and rote in the school system; all that degrades the dignity of my profession, and consequently, of my pupils; my desire to teach well, as opposed to bureaucracy, trivia and waste.

Perhaps I am losing my sense of humor. It's easy to do that here. But I am still new enough to the system not to take its absurdities for granted. If only the McHabes didn't keep getting in the way, I think I could move a few mountains.

Now I have to mark, over the four-day Thanksgiving holiday, 201 papers. Each is in 5 parts. Each contains 2 compositions.

I shall keep you posted on further developments of the Barrett-Ferone-McHabe Lavatory Case. In the meantime, write me what the weather is like in the outside world.

Love,

Syl

P.S. Did you know that according to the tabulation of the National Council of Teachers of English, it takes six to ten minutes to grade a single composition, and that the city's teachers carry a pupil-load of 150 to 200 pupils per term?

S.

45. It Has Come to my Attention

OFFICE OF THE PRINCIPAL

CALVIN COOLIDGE HIGH SCHOOL

Copy to Mr. McHabe Dr. Bester

Dear Miss Barrett,

It has come to my attention that due to laxness on your part in proctoring the Midterm examinations one of our students is under suspicion of cheating. This can have a demoralizing and corrupting effect on the rest of our student body, who have always and at all times upheld our high standards of moral and ethical integrity.

MAXWELL E. CLARKE

PRINCIPAL

Dear Miss Barrett,

Please bring to my office the examination paper of Joseph Ferone as soon as you have marked it. I understand that he has been a failing student in English for the last two terms.

Samuel Bester

Chairman, Language Arts Dept.

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: 304

TO: 508

Dear Bea—

I've just graded Ferone's paper: he got 89%.

Do you suppose I’ll be court-martialed?

Syl

46. From the Suggestion Box

I have known teachers to go crazy from too much teaching but not you. How come? They should put you on a pedestle.

A Bashful Nobody

My suggestion is overthrow Mr. McHabe and you run the school togeather with Mr. Grayson. Then this would be a great place to be.

(In the Mid Terms the reason I flunked is because I didn't understand the questions.)

It serves them right (dishes in ruins) how we messed up the whole Cafeteria, and we’ll do it again if they still treat us like jailbirds. This is the last warning I'm writting.

At first I thought to myself I'd never live through another English with a female teacher but, instead, well here I am and I owe it all to you.

Rusty

Too strick with the marks. I could use a 80.

A 55

I suggest 1. More teachers with spunk.

A. To stick up for us.

1. The way you stuck up for Joe F.

2. And fight with Mac Habe

3. Character—Excellent & not afraid.

4. And beautiful blue eyes.

Teenager

I complaint all ready about my Midterm mark. What's the use of intergration if marks are still low?

Edward Williams Esq.

I never knew a teacher to really care but you do. Don't ever leave us. I wish I could have you till the end of school.

Carole Blanca

Still stink.

I like to get away from war books like "Shakespeer" to the "dance" in the gym but didn't get a chance to "dance" with you. Maybe we will "next time".

Chas. H. Robbing

You took off to much for sp. and gr. and punct. and vocab. on my Exam, when you were about my age you didn't want the same thing to happen to you.

Zero

I love the frank way you speak to us and I love your methods of teaching and dressing yourself. I love your kindness and whole personality. I also love you for yourself. Tell us more about your own life like you did that time about your college. It makes you feel very human to us so we can be more like you. (I went down to size 15). I'm only misrable at home and never in English. That's why I have this new ambition to be an English Teacher. Can you tell me how you prepared your self for this career?

Your friend,

Vivian Paine

You have one of the best sense of humors I ever met. You made the lessons laughable.

Third Row

I don't like the way you dress, too loud for a teacher, you should tone it down, and a low marker.

Yr Enemy

The reason I like your English is you teach English which can be used in my life to make me somebody. You have arranged your English so that it seems more interesting and it doesn't seem like English though it is. You make likable things I don't like like reading. You teach perfectly and steadily, not too fast or too slow. And you always have time to listen to our side of the book. Can I have you again?

Jose Rodriguez

I know who cheated on the midterms and got away with it, also somebody else.

Guess Who

No matter what I do my mother keeps harping.

Doodlebug

I'm not in your class, but how about a date anyhow? I am a very congenial acquaintance. I am medium tall with dark hazel eyes, sort of chubby face and a little stout around the middle. I suppose you know me already!

Passer By

Although the English Midterms were extremely interesting, they were rather hard to do in my usual well manner. I therefore wish to thank you for giving me the opportunity of raising my mark with a Extra Credit Book Report which I hope you will enjoy reading.

Harry A. Kagan

(The Students Choice)

I'm not saying there's too much homework, but I won't say there's too little. But for you I'm glad to do it even double.

Frank Allen

I was going to drop out but no more. No teacher ever gave me the break you did when you told me I could make up my briliant (Ha-ha!) marks with a book report for extra credit which I will!

Lou Martin

This is the first class I enjoyed failing because of looking at you.

Not enuogh extra credit for washing the Board!

Disgusted

Will you marry me?