28.
We fucked.
It wasn’t love, but it wasn’t bad. Not even close to the best sex either of us has had, but probably the best sex either of us is likely to have today. Unless Gwen decides she’s in the mood tonight when Maddie shows up.
After our breathing gets back to normal, Gwen moves in close to cuddle me. I hadn’t thought about it till now, but I realize we’re still on top of the covers.
“I hope we can do it again in a few minutes,” she says, touching me down there, as if trying to determine how many minutes it might be.
“I’d like that,” I say, trying to avoid thinking I might be on a time table.
“You’re the best I ever had,” she says.
“Really?”
“Swear to God.”
“You, too,” I say. Then add, “Speaking of lies, there’s something I haven’t told you or Lucky. About Phyllis.”
She sits up. I’d love to describe for you how the sheet falls away slowly, revealing her perfect, artificially-enhanced breasts, but I already told you we’re on top of the covers.
Not that it makes her boobs any less attractive.
“What haven’t you told us?” she says, her voice suddenly serious.
“If I tell you a big secret, will you tell me one?”
“Like truth or dare?”
“Except without the dare.”
“Okay. Wait. Who gets to choose the subject?”
“Me.”
“That might be fun,” she says. Then adds, “Do I have to tell the truth?”
“That’s sort of the whole purpose.”
She frowns. “Well, I can try, right? So what’s your big secret about Phyllis?”
“I met her.”
She’s quite surprised. “When?”
“Yesterday.”
“Before Connor Payne killed her?”
“Yes. And I asked her about the device.”
“The one we’ve been looking for?”
I nod.
“How did you know about it?”
“Connor’s been seeking it awhile.”
“He spoke to you about it?”
“We’re getting off track. Let’s just say I was trying to negotiate a deal with Phyllis, to keep Connor from killing her.”
“She paid you off?”
“No. I was just seeking the device.”
“And she didn’t give it to you?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“She didn’t have it.”
She stares at me. “Who does?”
“According to Phyllis, you.”
“What? Me?”
“She told me she gave it to you.”
“For what purpose?”
“To hide?”
“I hardly even knew the bitch! And she hated me, remember?”
“I’ve got your word for that.”
Gwen frowns. “I see. And we’ve already established I’m a liar.”
“Just to level the playing field,” I say.
She gives me a look that’s not quite anger, but awfully close. “You’re totally killing the mood here, you know.”
“I know.”
Gwen’s on the verge of throwing a pout. I’m okay with that. I’m trying to accomplish two things here. First, I want to know if she’s got the device. Second, I want to get laid again, and see if we can improve the experience by coming at her a different way. On the one hand, I don’t want to make her too angry. On the other, I need to secure the device.
I say, “If it makes you feel any better, I believe you.”
She turns both palms up. “You’d have to. Phyllis was fucking my husband. We didn’t like each other. She wouldn’t have given me anything important, and I wouldn’t have accepted it if she had.”
“At the time she told me, it made sense. Now that I understand the relationship, it doesn’t. Are you sure she hated you?”
“Yes. And Lucky didn’t make things any easier by rubbing her nose in it.”
“What do you mean?”
“He made her give me all those spa treatments, plastic surgery, chemical peels…”
“She didn’t charge him?”
“Well, of course she did.”
“Well, isn’t that why she’s in business?”
“Do you know anything about women?”
I take a breath before answering.
“No. I talk a good game…but no. Every time I think I’ve finally got a handle on women, I realize the handle isn’t connected to anything. In the end, I’m just holding a handle, without a clue.”
“It was a rhetorical question.”
“Oh.”
“God, you’re good looking when you do that,” she says.
“Do what?”
“That whole clueless thing. You need to cultivate it. It works for you.”
This is something I already know. And she’s right. It does work. Problem is, it’s not an act.
“Let me give it to you from a woman’s perspective,” she says.
“Okay.”
“I’m young and sexy, Phyllis is a drone. I’m not being cocky or putting her down. These are the facts. Phyllis wanted Lucky. Don’t ask me why, but let’s assume she wanted him.”
“Okay.”
“They probably met around the time Lucky and I got married. They were certainly having sex before Lucky made her start fixing my flaws.”
“You’re saying she didn’t like the idea of making you even more appealing to him?”
“Exactly.”
“Because she considered you her rival?”
“There may be hope for you yet.”
I think about that a moment, and then it hits me.
I know exactly where the device is hidden.
Gwen touches the area between my legs and says, “I think we’re getting close here.”
“I agree.”
“I bet if I lick your lollipop I can make you big and strong. Would you like that?”
Would I like that?
Why not ask if I’d like world peace. An end to hunger. A cure for cancer. Yes, absolutely! But I’m struggling to say something cool. Finally, master of bedroom dialogue that I am, I come up with this pearl: “Sure!”
It ain’t Hemmingway, but it gets her to slide down the bed.
Gwen isn’t as skilled as Miranda, but she’s working hard, and I’m responding in kind. We go from oral to something my former Commander in Chief would be forced to call sex. What Gwen lacks in experience, she makes up for with enthusiasm. I’m not getting every last ounce she’s got to give, but I’m getting plenty. And just when she gets me to the very edge of ecstasy…
My cell phone rings.
It’s a specific ring. I have four caller-specific ring tones, and I haven’t heard this one in months.
“Damn it!” I say.
“Let it go, baby,” Gwen says. “Tune it out. Keep riding the ride.”
“I can’t. It’s my boss.”
“Lucky?”
“It’s my real boss.”
“Make him wait. Call him back.”
“You don’t understand.”
“You’re right, I don’t. I guess you’d better take the fucking call. It’s not like you’re doing anything important.”
I stretch to reach for the phone, an act that disengages me from my lover faster than I’d like to admit.
“Asshole!” she says.