Vessel

15

CATHERINE RETURNED HOME from Chicago with a new sense of peace and purpose. Nora might not have been able to give her the sense of self she’d hoped for, but she’d been the last piece of the puzzle, the one part of her old life she hadn’t come to terms with. Nora’s death would be painful, but Catherine could tell herself that Nora knew, somewhere in her mind, that Catherine was still alive. With that as resolved as was possible, Catherine was able to throw herself back into work, the last few days before the launch.

Leah Morrison sat in Catherine’s office, leaning forward with the expression of someone relishing the “no shit, there I was” story she was in the middle of telling. “So then, we finally get the poor bastard back down to the ground and he’s got the shakes; he’s so sick his hands are turning green, but we’re supposed to shake his hand and tell him what a great job he did, because you know, he’s on the Appropriations Committee, right?”

Catherine laughed and nodded. Dealing with politicians had been the worst. “How bad was it?”

“Girl, he took off that helmet and his lunch went everywhere.”

“He threw up right there in front of you?”

“No!” Leah sat back, cackling. “He already had. Sometime while we were flying!”

“You mean he sat there and—”

“Yes!”

Catherine winced but couldn’t stop laughing. “How the hell did he manage that without you hearing him?”

“I don’t know, but the inside of that helmet was just wrecked, man.” Leah grinned at Catherine. “I’ll tell you one thing, that was the last time the captain volunteered us to take a civilian on a test run.”

“So something good came out of it at least.” Catherine saluted Leah with her coffee cup, marveling at how normal it felt.

A knock at her office door put an end to all that.

Cal Morganson stood there with a bland smile. “Sorry to interrupt the pilot bonding time. Leah, can I speak to Catherine?”

Leah stood up. “I’ve got a briefing I’ve got to get to. Wells, I’ll call you later this week, all right?”

“You bet.” Catherine smiled and stood as well.

Once Leah was gone, Catherine expected Cal to ask her to follow him somewhere, but instead he surprised her by closing her door.

“Can I sit?” he asked.

She motioned to the chair Leah had just vacated, and sat back down herself. “What can I do for you?”

“I have some updates to the launch schedule, and I wanted to make sure you saw them.” He offered her a piece of paper—a memo she’d already seen earlier that morning.

“I saw it,” she said, putting the paper on her desk. “Was there something in particular I needed to pay attention to?”

“No. I just know you were out for a few days.” Cal paused awkwardly, and Catherine watched him carefully. Where was the ambush? Which direction would it come from?

“Yeah. Family issue.” Get to the point already.

“Listen, Catherine, I wanted to apologize. I was… out of line before. I hope there are no hard feelings.”

“No, of course not. I know you’re just doing your job.” Cal thought she’d killed five of her closest friends or God knew what else, but sure, there were no hard feelings. Catherine kept the smile on her face. He wasn’t going to see a thing from her, not if she could help it.

“I’ve been, uh, overzealous before. And it seems as if I was here, too. That’s really all I wanted to say.”

Catherine had no idea how to respond, so she just kept smiling. “Don’t worry about it,” she finally managed.

“I should go, but… thanks.”

She watched him leave, and leaned back in her chair. His apology unsettled her almost more than his accusations did. It wasn’t that it felt insincere, necessarily. Cal had sounded like a kid who’d been told to apologize to his sister. Not insincere, but also not entirely willing.

Which meant that he’d been talking to some higher-ups about his concern. Aaron, most likely. The thought was a tight hand around her heart. Cal had seen some of her lost time, some of her strangest behavior. How much had he told Aaron?

Aaron must not be interested in pursuing it or he wouldn’t have pulled Cal back, but still. How much did NASA know? How long before her house of cards toppled?

Catherine took several deep breaths. Things were fine. She was much better now, moving forward. She hadn’t lost any time since the night of Aimee’s graduation party. Dr. Darzi had been right—since she’d started focusing more on the present, things had improved. She could deal with a bit of NASA gossip.

She picked up the memo Cal had brought her—now certain it was just a ruse to speak to her—and looked it over again. All she could do now was her job, to the best of her ability. She resolved to do just that. She closed her eyes for just a moment, and when she opened them…

… she was standing in the middle of a room she didn’t recognize. She was at a computer, a collection of files open on the screen. The clock on the screen told her it had been nearly two hours since she’d talked to Cal in her office.

Catherine’s breath caught and her pulse spiked. No. No.

It had happened again.

She was almost afraid to look around, to discover where she’d gone this time. The room was small and dim, and there were rows and rows of file cabinets and shelves lining the walls. Microfiche storage boxes filled the shelves.

The archives. It had to be.

But why? She looked at the documents open on the screen in hopes of finding an answer, but all she saw was page after page of old emergency protocols and procedures, most of them outdated.

Despair crept up her spine, cold fingers on the back of her neck.

There had to be an answer here, but she couldn’t see it. She looked around the room, looking for some sign that she’d accessed something else, but no matter where she looked, she could find no clear answer why she’d come in here. None of it made sense. All the Sagittarius-related data was still too new to be in the archives, so it couldn’t be anything about that.

Not to mention, how had she even gotten in here? The lock required an access code that she didn’t have.

It hit her that security probably kept a log of every time someone accessed the room. There was probably a camera outside the door.

Suddenly the room seemed even smaller, the walls creeping toward her. She had to get out. No one could find out she’d been here. A cold sweat broke out on her forehead, adding to the chill running through her. Not only didn’t she have authorized access but some of the information in here was way above her security clearance. If they knew it was her… Catherine had a sudden vivid image of security leading her out of the building in handcuffs, handing her over to the feds. Getting caught committing a security violation was the last thing she—or NASA, for that matter—needed. Aaron might be willing to overlook some strangeness on her part, but a security violation? Hell no.

The image of her in handcuffs persisted. She’d lose everything. Aimee. God, she could already see the hurt and disappointment on Aimee’s face. She’d lose her job. David could lose his job.

Because who would believe her if she told them she didn’t know why she’d come in here?

She hurriedly closed everything on the computer and shut it down.

Her heart hammered painfully in her chest as she peeked out the archive door before exiting. This time the hallway was mercifully empty, and she looked around and up in the corners, but didn’t see any sign of a security camera. Still, she didn’t start to breathe normally until she was on the elevator. Three people got on at the lobby level. She smiled and said hello. None of them looked at her strangely. By the time she got to her floor, she thought she must have looked fine.

She settled back in at her desk, prepared to tell anyone who asked that she’d just taken a long lunch. Words on her screen seemed to dance in front of her mockingly, and trying to form sentences of her own was completely futile.

It was no use. She couldn’t focus on anything, jumping from task to task and expecting at any moment for Cal or even Aaron to storm into her office with security guards demanding to know what she’d been doing in the archives.

Catherine did something she’d done only once before, when Aimee was tiny and had come down with a raging fever. She couldn’t face going to Aaron’s office to speak to him directly. Instead, she sent an email to the team saying she had to leave, but would keep an eye out for any urgent emails or messages.

She practically slunk out of JSC, praying that no one would talk to her.