I was alone with Danaus. After days of running and fighting both the naturi and the bori, I had begun to wonder if we would ever have a quiet moment together. Things had changed between us, but I couldn’t begin to describe how or why. I was afraid to put words to it for fear of destroying what little positive ground had been made. My stomach twisted into knots and muscles tightened in my chest. There had been other men in my long existence, but none of those times felt half as delicate as what I currently faced. To make matters worse, there was a good chance that I was about to obliterate what progress had been made with my newest scheme, but in truth I was willing to take the chance if it meant that he was coming to Venice with me. I wasn’t prepared to face the coven alone, and if Nick had his way, I would need to keep the hunter at my side for the time being.
“Do you plan to feed tonight?” Danaus asked, drawing my gaze back over to his face.
I shook my head. “I just need to rest a little before I make some phone calls.”
To my surprise, the hunter stood and scooped me up in his arms again. He wordlessly carried me up the stairs to the bedroom with the yellow paint and a pretty striped comforter. The covers on the bed were twisted in disarray from someone who had slept in the bed the day before. A lump formed in my throat. Lily had slept in this room. Her sweet scent was so thick in the air that I could have closed my eyes and believed her to be standing right next to me.
But she wasn’t. That sweet young girl was lying dead in Factors Walk, her body broken from when she had been thrown into the stone wall by the one nightwalker she seemed to trust above all others: Tristan. The bori had taken control of the nightwalker, forcing him to do things he would never think of doing.
“Danaus.” I choked on his name as I grabbed his shoulder with my right hand. “Why? Oh God, why now?”
He sat down on the edge of the bed and gently gathered me even tighter into his arms. “You’re going to see the coven. You have to deal with this now or it will sneak up on you in a moment when you can’t afford to be weak,” he said. His voice had grown rough and hoarse as he spoke.
“I liked her.” My voice was muffled as I buried my face in his chest. “I truly liked her. She was smart and spunky and quick. She would have been safe at Themis.”
“Yes, I liked her too,” Danaus whispered into my hair. “She would have been safe at Themis. She would have been happy at Themis with James and the others.”
I suddenly jerked my head up and pulled away from Danaus so I could look him in the eye. “It wasn’t Tristan’s fault,” I declared in a rush, tears finally breaking back their barriers to stream down my face. “It wasn’t his fault. He had no choice. It was Gaizka. Tristan would never have done anything to hurt her. You can’t—”
“I know.” Danaus smoothed back some of the hair from my face. He wiped away the tears from my cheeks, but they were only replaced by fresh ones. “It’s not Tristan’s fault. No one is blaming him.”
“Is—Is he still alive?” Nick had stolen me from Factors Walk as soon as Gaizka was safely locked away. I hadn’t a chance to check on either Danaus or Tristan.
“I honestly don’t know. Valerio grabbed me before I could get to him.”
A deeper sense of panic tightened in my chest and sent a trembling through my limbs. I couldn’t stand to lose both Lily and Tristan all in one night. Both had been surrogate children for me, a vain attempt to replace the child stolen from me when I was human. I needed Tristan to be safe.
Closing my eyes, I reached out along the common mental path that Tristan and I had used on the rare occasion. I had once complained about his need to be in contact with my thoughts. Now I would give anything for that faint familiar touch.
Tristan.
Mira. The reply was weak and thready, but for the time being, the nightwalker was still alive. Unfortunately, the contact was thin and felt as if it would break at any second. Tristan was dying.
Tristan, where are you?
I didn’t want to do it. I swear to you, Mira, I never wanted to hurt her. Overwhelming grief filled each and every word that crossed my brain. He, too, had lost a child during his human years, and now couldn’t contemplate the fact that Lily had died at his hands.
It wasn’t your fault. You know that. Danaus and I both know it. Lily knew that. She never blamed you. Please, Tristan, tell me where you are?
I never wanted to hurt her. I tried to fight it, but I wasn’t strong enough.
I know. No one blames you. Please, tell me where you are? You need help. You’re dying, Tristan. I can feel it.
I know. Those two words reached me in a pale whisper. He wanted to die. He welcomed death rather than face an endless existence with the knowledge that he had killed a sweet thirteen-year-old girl.
Damn it, Tristan! You’re not allowed to give up. I need you.
He didn’t answer me, and panic took over. I was exhausted and in pain, but I wasn’t willing to let him go without a fight. I had lost too many people over the years, and right now I just couldn’t face the loss of yet another person I had grown to care for. Taking a tighter hold on the energy swirling about me, I scanned the city of Savannah until I located Tristan on Factors Walk. He hadn’t moved from where we left him. Cloaking him from the view of any others that might wander down the alley, I turned my attention to locating someone who could help me.
Knox! I half shouted when my mind touched on the nightwalker’s presence not far from the waterfront.
Mira? Don’t shout like that! I’m driving. You could have startled me off the road, he teased in his usual lighthearted manner. I doubt I could have startled him if I wanted to. Right now I was just a massive force of energy.
Tristan’s dying. You must help him.
Where?
Factors Walk. Get in and out quickly. Leave the girl’s body for the cops, I directed, something dying inside of me to so carelessly leave Lily to people who didn’t give a damn about her. I wanted her here in my arms where I could spend the next several hours weeping over her limp body. Instead I had to leave her to the humans. They were the only ones who could take care of her now.
What happened?
Later. Take him to my town house. Danaus and I will be there shortly to help. Save Tristan no matter what he says. Force-feed him if you have to. He must live through the day. I can’t lose him, too.
I’ll save him.
My body went limp at those three firm words. I knew Knox would do everything within his power to save Tristan’s life simply because I wanted it to be so. I knew Tristan’s wounds were deep and large, making his survival unlikely, but Knox would try for me. He would try for Tristan.
I slumped in Danaus’s arms, the energy that I had pulled together to direct Knox and hide Tristan draining out of me. Knox would take care of everything for me. He would do whatever it took to save Tristan for me. Laying my head against Danaus’s shoulder, I finally let the tears fall for Lily’s death, the pain I had caused Danaus when I was forced to attack him, and for my own dark fate, which still hovered in the air.
Tristan will be safe, Danaus said, using our own personal path. I had no doubt that the hunter had been listening in to the conversation as he lingered in my brain. I didn’t care. I needed that connection. To feel for just a brief moment as if I wasn’t alone in the world.
I can’t lose him, too.
You won’t.
Every muscle in my body seemed to protest as Danaus helped me back to my feet. He remained close on my heels as we walked back down the stairs. My gaze skimmed over the shattered remains of my library, and I was unable to completely suppress the shiver that wracked my body as I turned my back on it and headed for the back door.
“We’ll also need to discuss that at a later time,” Danaus warned, causing my shoulders to hunch under that new weight. I still didn’t have a clue as to what I was going to tell him, but right now the truth didn’t seem like the best choice.
The hunter helped me ease into the passenger seat of my little silver BMW Z4 while I handed over the keys with only the slightest bit of hesitation. The car was a manual, and I was in no shape to be shifting gears. Besides, I still had a round of phone calls to make.
Danaus quickly whipped us from the quiet suburbs of Savannah to the historic district in record time, while I contacted my human assistant, Charlotte. She would make the arrangements needed to have my private jet fueled and ready for flight in a few hours, though she didn’t seem pleased to be disturbed at such a late hour. It was only when I looked at the clock on the dashboard that I realized it was nearly midnight. I shrugged. I had more than seven hours to get Tristan settled before I needed to board the plane.
I closed my phone and released a heavy sigh of relief as we pulled up to my town house. I had reached my bodyguard Gabriel. Both he and Matsui were safe and completely unharmed. They were supposed to accompany Lily and Tristan to Themis in London, but when Tristan appeared at Factors Walk with Lily, I had feared the worst. Gaizka had shown on more than one occasion that it had no qualms about taking a life. But this time it seems the creature settled for a quick phone call, telling Gabriel that I had changed my mind about the London trip. Neither Gabriel nor Matsui were aware that Lily had been killed and that Tristan hovered at death’s door. And for now, I didn’t have the heart to tell them. I told Gabriel only that I would contact him again when I returned from Italy, but reassured him that the danger had passed. I don’t think he believed me, but he allowed me to end the conversation without a fresh barrage of awkward and painful questions.
Tristan’s pain assailed me as we stopped in front of the town house. His physical pain and emotional anguish filled the air as if they were a noxious odor that you couldn’t escape. I pushed out of the car before Danaus could assist me and hobbled toward the front stairs, weaving between the throng of humans who were shuffling zombielike up my stairs and through my open front door.
“Mira?”
“They won’t remember a thing,” I reassured Danaus quickly as I shoved my way into the house. Knox was using all of his powers to summon anyone in the area with a pulse to Tristan’s side. To my surprise, I also found Amanda kneeling beside Tristan, who sat on the parlor floor, his blood seeping into the carpet beneath him in an ever-growing pool. Amanda’s hands were pressed against his chest, trying to hold in the blood that was leaking from the massive wounds. She had been keeping her distance from everyone since she was briefly kidnapped by the naturi a couple months ago. I had a dark suspicion that she partially blamed Tristan for her capture, but apparently she had come to her senses.
“He’s fighting us,” Amanda said when she caught sight of Danaus and me. “He refuses to feed. He doesn’t want to live.”
“I do.” Kneeling between Tristan’s bent legs, I took both of his hands in mine as I thrust my presence into his mind. I left him with nowhere to run. He hadn’t the strength to fight me, or the will. At my direction, he turned his head to the first offered arm and bit down, drinking deep.
Knox and Amanda removed their presence from Tristan’s mind and turned their focus to the gathering of humans. We would need a constant source of fresh blood for a while as we waited for the wounds to heal enough to hold in the blood. Behind me, I could feel Danaus’s unease about the feeding, and yet he remained by my side, one hand resting on my shoulder.
Tristan was silent for nearly an hour as he fed on one person after another. I controlled his mind, compelling him toward one single act. It was not the same way that Jabari, Danaus, or even Gaizka controlled me. I simply walked into his mind and amplified his basic instincts to feed. In his weakened state, he couldn’t fight it properly. He didn’t even question it.
Yet as his wounds closed and his strength grew, I could feel him beginning to stir. At first it was just a dark shadow of pain and horror, but it soon swelled into a great haze of anger. I gritted my teeth and prepared for him to finally shove me out of his mind, but it never came.
Why? The question drifted to me like a whispered secret, but held a wealth of anger. Why did you save me?
Because I’m selfish, I admitted truthfully. I need you.
You don’t need me. You have Danaus. You have Knox and Gabriel. You have countless others.
And I need you just as badly as I need them. You are my family, my brother. I cannot stand to lose you.
I killed her, Mira.
Gaizka killed her! Not you!
He continued as if he hadn’t heard me. I can still smell her. I can still feel the softness of her skin and the sting of my hand each time it made me strike her. I can smell her fear and hear her voice echoing in my brain, pleading with me . . .
I pulled free of Tristan’s mind at that moment. His memories were too fresh and they were quickly becoming my own. I wanted to pull completely free of him and hide from Lily’s violent death, but I forced myself to tighten my grip on his hands even as tears poured down both our cheeks. Lily would always haunt us.
Another hour passed before Tristan’s bleeding had completely stopped and I deemed him strong enough to survive the day. Danaus helped the last of the humans out the door and down the stairs. They all held the memory of attending a Christmas party full of loud music and free-flowing alcohol. They would all awaken the next day a little tired and headachy, but glowing with a good memory.
Knox and Amanda got Tristan into Knox’s car. He would take Tristan to my house, where he would spend the daylight hours recovering. Knox also planned to call Gabriel to add an extra layer of security, even though it was unnecessary. Gaizka was gone. There was no threat to Tristan’s safety beyond his own fractured mind.
Danaus laid a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. I still knelt on the floor in front of the spot where Tristan had sat. Blood was everywhere. It was soaked into the carpet, smeared on the coffee table, and stained the sofa. Some part of my brain reminded me that it all needed to be cleaned, but I couldn’t get myself to move.
“We need to go,” Danaus said.
“I—I don’t know.”
“We need to go. The coven is waiting. Knox can handle things here.”
“Tristan—”
“He will be fine. You saved his life tonight.”
I shook my head as I took Danaus’s hand and pulled myself to my feet. Tristan would live because of my actions tonight, but I didn’t feel like I had saved him.