Waiting for Godalming - читать бесплатно онлайн полную версию книги автора Robert Rankin (ч. notes)

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All Greek barbers wear a truss. It’s a tradition, or an old charter, or something.

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The phrase, “with the corner up”, meaning “you are a lying git” or “in your dreams”, was first coined by the great boxing cornerman Richard Reekie, dubbed in the sporting press as the Cockney in Clay’s corner. Before the now legendary fight between Cassius Clay and “Our ’enry” Cooper, Reekie was told that Cooper felt he could beat Clay. “The only way Cooper will win”, said Reekie, “is with the corner [man] up holding Clay’s arms behind his back.” These things matter.

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Rondo Hatton, legendary Hollywood star of The Creeper. It’s a joke, see, Rondo Hat on. Well, please yourself!

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See that, it’s lunchtime, not night at all.

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A Lazlo Woodbine Thriller.

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Opinions are divided regarding which actor gave the best portrayal of Laz in a Hollywood movie. Robert Mitchum, Brian Donleavy and Rondo Hatton are up there in the top three.

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Lobsang Rampa.

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This is true. You can try it yourself if you don’t believe me. It’s a very expensive way to cook an egg, but it’s one of the reasons why I don’t own a mobile phone.

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Plinth is a really wonderful word. It was Simon Kimberlin, the rubber fetish wear designer, who first drew my attention to it. “Get a woman to slowly pronounce the world plinth,” said he, “and watch her mouth, it’s one of the sexiest things you’ll ever see.” And it is. Try it yourself if you don’t believe me.

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A really big one!

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A quarter-pounder of prime char-grilled steakburger, done to perfection and served with a crispy salad topping and a choice of dressings, in a golden toasted sesame seed bun. I’ve tried others, but these are the best. Yes siree, by golly.

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Forget it. I have no intention of endorsing Habitat!

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Actually I heard this really good joke about Barbie the other day. So if it’s OK I’ll share it with you now, before the violence gets under way. This guy takes his daughter to a toyshop to buy a Barbie doll. And there’s three of them in the window. There’s sporting Barbie, at £9.99. Disco Barbie, at £9.99. And divorced Barbie, at £500. “Why is divorced Barbie so expensive?” asks the guy. “Because”, says the shop assistant, “divorced Barbie comes complete with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s furniture, Ken’s etc.” Well, I thought it was funny.

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William Burges, the now legendary nineteenth-century architect, notable for such gothic extravaganzas as Castel Coch. Not to be confused with the other Cardinal Cox.