Wanted: Wild Thing

Chapter Ten

When I’d composed myself, I sucked in a deep, steadying breath and studied my face in the mirror. I’d transformed back to the old, familiar, human Ryder. My blond hair was delicately mussed, my bangs shifted over to one side of my forehead. My eyes were red-rimmed and puffy from crying, and the tip of my nose was red as well. Not a cute look, but better than the alternative.

I headed out of the bathroom and shut the door behind me. No more hiding.

Hugh turned away from the window and looked over at me. “Is everything well, Ryder?”

Was everything well? Was he just messing with me now? I ignored his question and grabbed the remote, flopping onto the side of the bed and clicking it on. Screw him. I turned on something boring. It looked like a home improvement show. Whatever.

“Ryder?” He moved to the other side of the bed and sat down on the corner. “Are you ignoring my questions?”

I shot him a glare. “What does it look like?”

He seemed astonished by my reaction. “You are upset?”

Why was he surprised by this? “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I do not understand.” He got up from the bed and moved around it to my side. Then he leaned over and peered at my face. When I scrunched down, scowling, he frowned. “Have you been crying?”

“Of course I’ve been crying,” I said bitterly, trying to avert my face from his inquiring gaze. “You would be, too, if you were in my situation. And for the record, I’m sorry I pushed my gross mouth on yours. I should have remembered how disgusting I am. It won’t happen again.”

Silence.

Then, to my dismay, Hugh sat down next to me on the bed, blocking out my view of the TV. “You think you are disgusting?”

I jerked my gaze to his. “I have a mirror, Hugh. I know what I turn into.”

“That is what you turn into right now,” Hugh agreed. “The closer you get to your peak, the more you transform. Or didn’t you notice?”

“I try not to look in the mirror,” I pointed out stiffly. “I don’t like what I see.”

“I do not think you are hideous, Ryder,” Hugh said in a low, gentle voice. “If I did, I would not have kissed you. And make no mistake, it was I that kissed you. I did not forget who and what you are. I pressed my mouth to yours knowing this. I touched my tongue to yours fully aware of this.” That hot look returned to his eyes. “And I pulled away not because I forgot what you are but because I did forget what is waiting for me should I fulfill my vow.”

A knot of emotion choked my throat. “A mate for you.”

“A mate for all of my men. An end to our loneliness. If I deliver you, there will be children for my people. Mates to warm us at night. It is the thing we dream of most. How can I deprive my men simply because I am selfishly attracted to you?”

I felt curiously warm. “You’re attracted to me?”

His gaze was deadly earnest. “I am.”

“Even knowing what I turn into when I’m touched?”

“It does not offend my senses. It is simply part of who you are, and I like all of you.” His expression became rueful. “And you are not the only one that transforms when you are touched.”

I sat up, suddenly fascinated by this conversation. He . . . didn’t find me revolting? In my monster form? My touch made him shift into his form a bit more because he lost control? “I noticed that. It was because you got turned on?”

He nodded.

“You’re not just saying this to make me feel better?”

“I never lie.” He looked affronted at the thought.

I waved a hand at that. “I know, I know. But you also didn’t say anything just then. You just kind of nodded.”

“I am attracted to you,” Hugh said gruffly. “In either form. Does that satisfy you?”

It made me giddy, actually. “But you won’t touch me because of your vow?”

“That is correct.”

“Then why did you kiss me?” I asked, feeling a little breathless. My gaze went back to his mouth, fascinated by the tension there. “Why didn’t you pull away when I leaned in?”

“I wanted to see what it was like,” he admitted. “This kissing with tongues.”

“We can practice some more,” I said eagerly, sitting up on the bed. “You probably want to have more experience for when you get your woman—”

Hugh shook his head, his gaze hot and dark on my face. “I dare not.” He stood. “And you should get some sleep. I will keep watch.”

I settled back down into the blankets, feeling oddly pleased with this turn of events. So Hugh didn’t find me disgusting after all? That was fascinating. He’d pulled away only because he’d wanted more, and he was trying to remain true for his upcoming bride. Mate. Whatever. I fluffed one of the pillows and snuggled it, turning back to the boring home improvement show but not paying a bit of attention as they waxed rhapsodically about resurfacing cabinets.

Hugh was attracted to me. I hugged the thought close, happy.

Then I stopped. I was thrilled that Hugh liked me . . . at the expense of his own happiness? It was clear that he was tormented by his attraction to me because it carried such heavy ramifications. If he made me happy, he made so many others miserable.

The thought was not an encouraging one, and for the first time, I felt jealous of the nameless, faceless female that had been picked out for Hugh’s mate. He’d treat her like she was the most amazing, incredible thing in the world. He’d be ecstatically happy.

And I’d be miserably busy breeding little changelings for my fae master.

The night passed uneventfully. No fae showed up to bust down the doors of the hotel room. It was as if nothing had happened and we were just being silly and paranoid. Of course, I imagined that was what I was supposed to think. I would let down my guard, and as soon as I did, I’d be snatched. I knew how the game went. I wasn’t stupid.

I was, however, utterly distracted.

All night, I’d dreamed about Hugh. Delicious, sexy dreams in which we were in the primordial lands, all alone. Just the two of us and misty, wild trees all around. I was naked, and so was Hugh, and when he stepped close to me, I couldn’t resist brushing my hands over his body to see his reaction. And he always, always reacted.

I woke up with a little shiver and looked over at Hugh, but he’d maintained his post at the window. Darn.

Still, for all that it had been a naughty dream, it had been a good one. I yawned and stretched, then swung my legs out of bed, surprisingly cheerful. Tonight after work, I decided, we’d get a nice, swanky hotel room. After all, if I was going to end up in the fae realm for good, I might as well go out in style. I kicked off the covers and bounced up. “Morning, Hugh.”

He grunted.

“Someone clearly needs his morning coffee,” I teased, then glanced at the alarm clock. One in the afternoon. “Afternoon coffee,” I amended. “Do you mind if I shower before we head to work?”

He turned and gave me an incredulous look. “Work? We are not leaving safety so you may play at your desk.”

It was my turn to frown. I put my hands on my hips. “You’re kidding, right? I have to go to work. I don’t want to lose my job. I’ve already missed two days.”

Just in case I managed to wriggle myself out of this mess, I’d want to have my job to pay off the credit card bills this week was going to cost me.

Hugh shook his head. “It’s not safe.”

“But—”

“I have decided,” he said in a snarl, glowering at me.

Someone was definitely cranky. It didn’t deter me. He could snarl at me all he wanted—I knew he wouldn’t harm a hair on my head. And layered with the knowledge that I knew he found me attractive? Yeah, I was going to get my way in this. “But Hugh,” I said pleadingly as I put a hand on his sleeve, “I need to go to work or I’ll go stir-crazy, waiting for something to happen.”

When he looked over at me, I gave him my most innocent, vulnerable female look. And then I licked my lips.

His gaze went to my mouth and his eyes softened. Poor man had no chance against a woman’s wiles. “I—”

“And I need to work in order for us to stay in these rooms,” I told him. “Otherwise we won’t have the money. And I’m sure I’ll be safe with you around.” I ran a hand along his bicep and gave it a bit of a squeeze. Just a bit. “You’re strong. And capable.”

He sighed. “Do you say these things in a sweet voice to coax me, female?”

Maybe Hugh wasn’t as clueless as I thought. I grinned up at him. “Perhaps? But it’s all true. I do feel safe with you.”

He grunted. “And you must go to work to get money? For the rooms?”

Well, I did have a nest egg, but what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. “Yep.”

“Very well.”

“Wonderful!” I gave a happy little bounce and headed for the shower. “Just give me ten minutes to get ready and we’ll head out, okay?” I didn’t stick around for an answer.

I took the world’s fastest shower and just as quickly toweled off, tossing aside the small, rough towels as soon as I was dry enough. My hair was a wet, tangled mess, though, and I hated the thought of going in to work with it laying flat against my head. There was a hair dryer attached to the wall, so I pulled it off and flicked it on, aiming it at my hair.

The door to the bathroom slammed open and Hugh thundered inside, eyes wild.

I froze in place, staring at him in shock. “What is it? Who’s here?”

“That noise . . .” He made a weird gurgle in his throat and fell silent, staring at the hair dryer.

I flipped it off, straightening. “Oh, I’m sorry. I must have panicked you. I—” I stopped, realizing that he was staring pointedly at the now broken door that was hanging off its hinges and avoiding looking at a very naked me. His face was bright red. “Hugh?”

“You will put on a towel, female.”

Oh. So it was my nudity that was bothering him? I smothered a laugh. The man was the biggest, most dangerous person I knew . . . and he was blushing like a schoolboy because I was naked. “You’re the one that barged into the bathroom,” I told him. “You shouldn’t be surprised at what you see if you do.”

“I thought you were in danger.”

“Only in danger of having flat hair, sweetie,” I told him and put the hair dryer down. “You’ve seen me naked before, Hugh. Back when I transformed in the primordial lands, remember?”

He continued to stare at the broken door. “I did not look. I would not look. It is not . . . polite.”

Oh, my Lord, this was cute. I tousled my wet hair with my fingers. “What do you think? Is this a good look for me?” I teased him.

He refused to look in my direction, glowering at the wall.

“Or maybe I should pull my hair up.What do you think?”

“I think you should put the towel on.”

“Really? Because I was thinking you should kiss me again.”

He looked over at me then, and oh, his eyes were so dark that I could see no whites in them. He was close to transforming.

And God, that made my skin prickle with excitement.

“Put the towel on,” he said, his voice flat. His gaze remained locked on mine.

“Give me a kiss and I will.”

Hugh glared at me and spun around, storming out.

I felt a twinge of guilt at his anger. Of course he was mad at me. I was blatantly trying to get him to break his vow. I was putting my needs in front of the needs of twenty-four men waiting for their mates . . . to say nothing of the women waiting for the men. Was I that selfish, truly? Could I continue with this plan knowing I was going to keep a faceless band of people from their happiness?

But . . . what about me? Didn’t I deserve happiness, too? Biting my lip, I tamped down the guilt I felt and pinned my sultriest smile to my face, following Hugh into the hotel room. “Where are you going to go, Hugh?”

He had the same problem I’d had last night when I’d wanted to hide—there was no place to go. I trailed behind, my hands on my naked, slightly damp hips, and watched him.

Hugh had sat down in one of the two small chairs at the table near the window. I knew it wasn’t comfortable for him; it was obvious in his body language and the stiff way he sat. He’d turned the chair toward the wall, as if that might somehow save him from my naked guerilla tactics.

I moved around to the front of the chair, ignoring the fact that Hugh’s knees were practically pressed to the wall. “Nowhere to hide,” I teased.

He blanched at the sight of me and my damp breasts moving closer to him. “Ryder, don’t—”

I sighed, incredibly disappointed. “But you said you wanted to kiss me, right?”

“I do. But you know why I cannot.”

“But it’s just a kiss,” I coaxed him. “It won’t mean anything. And you need practice, and I, well . . . I want to stockpile the good things before all the bad stuff happens.” And before he could protest, I sat in his lap.

Hugh’s hands clenched the arms of the chair and he looked braced, ready to leap up and dump me on the floor.

“What’s so bad about a kiss?” I asked him. “Can I help it if I want one more?”

“No.”

I decided to tease him. “It’s because I’m ugly, isn’t it? I—”

I wasn’t able to get another word out, because Hugh snapped. His arms locked around me, his hand going to the back of my neck, and he dragged my mouth against his, as if he’d been a drowning man and I’d been the breath of life. I gasped as his tongue licked into my mouth, all need and savagery, and then I moaned, leaning into him, my skin pressing against him.

His claws dug into my bare skin—which was quickly scaling over—and I took it as a sign that my own claws were okay, too. I raked my hand down his chest, ripping at the hard slabs of muscle there with delicious need even as his mouth savaged mine. He wasn’t gentle with me. His mouth moved over mine hungrily, and I felt his teeth against my skin and lips—and I loved every bit of it.

I whimpered low in my throat, my tongue moving against his. My nipples were so hard that they ached, and I longed for him to touch me. I wanted those big, rough hands on my skin, the claws dragging against my scales. I wanted his fierceness.

He pulled away from me just when I was breathing hard against him. And he looked just as dazed as I felt. “Your kiss is finished. Dress yourself.” His voice was surprisingly calm.

“Thank you,” I said breathlessly. “That was very . . . kind of you.” I wriggled off his lap, feeling my pulse pounding between my legs. I felt weak in the knees, like all the strength had been kissed out of me. My claws touched my scaled breasts, and I looked over at him as he stood up.

Hugh was sporting a very large tent in the front of his pants, and there were no whites in his eyes when he looked over at me.

“Dressed. Now.”

“Very well,” I said, ignoring his irritated tone. I sauntered back to the bathroom, taking great care to swing my hips as I walked. I sighed when he didn’t follow me and glanced up at my reflection in the mirror.

The same changeling face stared out at me. The eyes were mine, but the skin was still scaled, the horns twisted. I ran a long-taloned hand down my cheek thoughtfully. Were the ridges on my cheekbones less prominent? Were my scales a less muddy shade of green? I turned to the side and examined my wings. Still crumpled and batlike, but they seemed less wrinkled than before.

Huh. I reached back and grasped one in my hand, spreading my wing. It twitched in my grasp, but it definitely seemed . . . smoother? Maybe someday it’d become a real, usable wing. And maybe Hugh was right, and my appearance would change over time. Maybe that was why Finian and the other fae kept talking about me “ripening.”

Maybe the ugly caterpillar would turn into a butterfly after all.

Or maybe I was just grasping at straws. After all, turning into a butterfly would do me no good. I’d still be treated like an animal—an object to be bought and bred simply to produce young.

I’d be better off ugly.

We headed to work as if nothing weird was going on. When Hugh suggested we drop by my apartment to scope out the area, I quickly agreed; I needed a change of clothing, and so did Hugh. I might have been off work yesterday, but I still felt out of sorts today, dressed in yesterday’s wrinkled, stretched-out clothes. I changed as Hugh checked out my apartment, but the findings were perplexingly dull. No sign of fae or any sort of follow-up.

“Does this mean we can stay home tonight?” I asked him.

“No. Better to assume the worst. We will sleep in the public bed tonight.”

I chuckled at his words, had a nice conversation about the word hotel and how he should use it, and packed extra clothing for both of us into a pink vinyl backpack.

A short time later, we walked into work, and I was pleased to see that Savannah was back. “Hey! I’m glad to see you. How are you feeling?”

She gave me an easy smile and put her hands on her only-slightly-rounded stomach. “I’m managing. This one’s making it difficult, though. How are you?” She gave a curious look to Hugh, then back at me. “Still working on a special project?”

“Special project,” I agreed. “Yup. Still showing Hugh the ropes of how to woo women.” I turned and gave Hugh a meaningful look. “I think we’ve made great strides lately, don’t you?”

He said nothing—he simply scowled at me.

I grinned and bounded to my desk, setting down my purse. I’d chosen something simple but full of color to wear today. I wore stretchy pale green capri pants, a pink peplum top, and my favorite pair of pink Keds. I hadn’t done a thing with my hair, so I’d pulled it up into a clip and slicked on a bit of pink lip gloss. After all, if I dressed down too much for work, they’d start to suspect something was going on.

And my goal was to be business as usual, even if my mind was on anything but business. In fact, I couldn’t stop thinking about those kisses. My mind was constantly on Hugh’s firm, delicious mouth. Even when I sorted through the mail and opened envelopes and chatted with Savannah, my thoughts fixated on Hugh. It didn’t help that he’d gotten the stool out of the storeroom and sat a few feet behind me instead of across from me. I felt his gaze on the back of my neck, making my skin prickle with awareness.

What was he thinking? Was he as rattled by our kisses as I was? Was he thinking—no, obsessing—about the next one? I was dying to know, but this wasn’t the place to talk about it. So I gave Savannah a sunny smile. “How far along are you with that baby?”

She patted her stomach again, as if to reassure it. “It’ll be five months next week.”

“Wow, that far? And you’re still getting morning sickness?”

Savannah gave a small grimace. “Morning, noon, and night.” She adjusted her computer monitor in a fussy motion. “I’m getting used to it. Everyone tells me it’s normal.”

“Do you feel up to working? I’m totally okay if you want to bail out early.”

She gave me a grateful look but shook her head. “I’m fine. And I need to work. I need the money. I’ll be raising this little one on my own.” Her hand went to her stomach again.

It was on the tip of my tongue to ask about that. Everyone who had any sort of dealings with the Alliance knew that Savannah had been knocked up by one of the Anderson wolf pack. I looked at her belly with some trepidation, wondering how mine would look if I had a child.

And then I wondered how long I’d get to keep that child.

I shuddered.

“Well, you have a big family,” I told Savannah brightly. “I am sure one of those brothers or cousins of yours would be happy to babysit if you asked.”

She laughed. “You’d trust those men with a baby?”

“Good point.” I picked up my day planner. “Anything special on the dating books tonight?”

She shook her head. “Just more training, if you’re up for it. I still need to be shown some of the match-generating jobs Sara was talking about. She started saying words like macro and SQL and database, and I tuned out.”

“Yeah, that sounds like Sara. All I know how to do is punch buttons, but I can show you that,” I told her. I looked over at Hugh, and an idea popped into my head. “Why don’t you put on my headphones and watch this nice dating video?” I said to him.

He gave me a quick nod, and I held a finger up to Savannah, indicating that I’d be just a moment. I put the headphones on Hugh and showed him how to adjust the sound, then leaned over the desk to pull up my movie rental account.

And I pulled up a porno and purchased it, just because I had a mean streak.

I hit Play. The music started and was immediately swallowed as Hugh put the headphones on. His expression showed no change. He hadn’t realized what I was up to. Yet.

“Enjoy,” I said with a pat on his shoulder. I hurried over to Savannah’s desk and pulled my chair close so I could show her how to manage the programs. A few minutes later, I peeked over at Hugh from across the office.

There was a look of sheer horrified fascination on his face, and I had to smother my laughter.

By the time three in the morning rolled around, I was yawning and ready to call it a day. Hugh wasn’t talking to me—no shock there, considering that I’d slipped him a surprise porno. Given that movie and our shared kisses from earlier, he was probably all bothered to hell right about now.

Which fit my plans perfectly.

Because I had a new master plan for how to save my hide.

Hugh was a virgin. I was a virgin. Hugh was attracted to me. Hugh didn’t mind that I had a monster side. In fact, Hugh changed when aroused, too. It seemed that we could help each other out with things. I could fix his virginity for him, and he could fix mine. Win-win situation. There was the little issue of his vow, but I wasn’t too worried. I could be very convincing when I wanted something.

And I wanted this. I wanted Hugh. I wanted my freedom, even if it came at the cost of the happiness of the primordials. I thought of the men in the primordial realm, with their avid, too-hopeful eyes, and felt a fresh surge of guilt. Damn it. I couldn’t think about them. I had to think about me. Did I deserve to be a sacrificial lamb just because some guys wanted wives? It didn’t seem fair.

There was no right answer. I’d just have to trust my gut and continue on the path I’d chosen, no matter how unhappy it made the other primordials. I . . . just wouldn’t think about them. I couldn’t.

I formulated my attack plan as I drove to a new hotel for the evening, since we were still playing it safe. The good thing about the hotel hopping? We’d have to share a small room. Unlike my condo, a hotel room was one single, solitary bedroom. Some nice, slinky lingerie—I didn’t have any, but my bra and panties were pink and lacy, so they’d do. Some mood music. More demands for kisses, and then I could be more aggressive. Show him exactly what I wanted. He’d resist a little—after all, he was committed to his course of action—but I figured I could convince him. Most men didn’t need much convincing for sex, right? Just touch them in the right places and they’d turn into putty in my hands. Or so I’d heard. Granted, I had no personal experience in these things, but I read Cosmo faithfully every month and had memorized several “tricks” that they’d suggested.

I figured all I had to do was put us in the situation and hormones would take it from there.

The hotel I picked for tonight was a big, expensive one situated in downtown. It was the type of hotel that catered to upper-echelon tourists and business conferences and I’d never have considered for a simple overnight stay. I hefted my pink backpack over my shoulder and felt a little silly walking across the gleaming marble floors and heading to the beautifully polished wood check-in counter with ultracasually dressed Hugh at my side.

“Hi, there,” I said to the girl at the counter, pulling my wallet from my purse. “Is your honeymoon suite available tonight?”

Her gaze flicked to my casual clothing and the large man at my side, and I saw her wondering about us. I could guess what she was thinking. Cute young girl, big dude, three-in-the-morning need for a hotel room equaled possible hooker scenario.

“My apartment’s got no air right now,” I lied. “We can’t sleep in the heat, so we figured we’d get a nice hotel room.”

Her face relaxed into a smile, and I realized that I’d said the right thing. “It’s the worst when your air conditioner breaks down, isn’t it?” She began tapping on the keyboard, peered at her monitor, and nodded. “Honeymoon suite is available tonight.”

“Perfect,” I said cheerfully and handed over my credit card.

Ten minutes later, we were heading up to our floor, key card in hand. I hummed a happy tune to myself as Hugh stood at my back, acting as if nothing was weird about this at all. Casual, I told myself. I was being casual. I faked a huge yawn and looked over at Hugh with a smile, pleased when he repeated the motion. Yawns were always catching. “Tired?” I asked sweetly. “You didn’t sleep at all last night.”

“I must remain vigilant,” he told me. He didn’t look me in the eye.

“Suit yourself,” I told him. “But that’s what that spell on the door is for, I thought. You won’t be able to protect me very well if you don’t sleep. Think of how much better you’ll be if you’re well rested.”

He considered this, then gave me a quick nod. “You speak the truth. But there is only one bed.”

“Of course I speak the truth.” I slid the key card into the lock and waited for the green light to click on. “And I’m sure the room has two beds tonight,” I lied, then pushed the door open. I stepped into the room and admired the suite.

The first thing I noticed was the big bed in the center of the room. A huge square mahogany headboard dominated the far wall, looming over the king-sized bed, which was covered in pillows. There were delicate upholstered chairs, an antique-looking sofa, and decorative tables in the room—all of which looked too flimsy to hold poor Hugh. A bouquet of roses had been left on one table nearby, and in one corner of the room was a massive jetted tub big enough for two. I blushed at the sight of it.

Okay, I was brave, but I wasn’t sure I was that brave. I glanced over at Hugh. “Home sweet home for the evening.”

He frowned even as he shut the door behind him. “There is only one bed.”

I shrugged. “Don’t worry. We’ll just share. I promise not to steal the covers.”

He looked as if he wanted to protest but then thought better of it. Success, I told myself. Now to lay out the rest of my plan.

I slung my backpack off as Hugh pulled off his necklace and began to run the rune around the edge of the door. “Mind if I get comfortable while you seal everything off?”

“I do not mind,” Hugh said, distracted with his task, his back turned to me.

Perfect. I stripped off my peplum top and wriggled out of my tight capris, folding them neatly and stuffing them into my backpack. “Whew, it’s hot in here, isn’t it?” I commented, setting up phase two of my seduction scene. “I don’t know if I’m going to be able to sleep in this kind of heat.”

And I adjusted my pink and white bra, plumping my breasts.

No response from Hugh. That was okay; he was still busy on his task. I slipped off my shoes and moved onto the bed. I didn’t pull the covers back; instead, I lay on my side and shifted one hip, posing as sexily as I could.

Then I waited for him to turn around.

It took a few moments. He finished running the rune around the door and looped the chain back onto his neck. Then he studied the door, running a hand along the edge and watching the magic flash in response. Satisfied, he let his hand drop and glanced over at me.

His eyes widened.

I pretended to fan myself with one hand. “My, it’s warm. Don’t you think?”

Hugh moved closer to me, still staring. “Do you . . .” He swallowed. “Do you get under the blankets now, Ryder?”

“No,” I said and stretched languidly, the motion making my breasts bounce in what I hoped was an attractive manner. “Too hot. I’m comfortable like this.” I ran a hand down my side. “Why don’t you get undressed and come to bed?”

Was that sweat breaking out on his forehead?

Hugh remained in place, clearly trying to determine what to do. I saw his gaze flicking around the room. Sit in one of the dainty chairs that wouldn’t hold his big body? Sit on the bed with me and all my mostly naked glory?

“Oh, come on, Hugh,” I said in a low, flirty purr and patted the bed. “I don’t bite . . . unless you want me to.” And I winked at him.

The breath hissed out of his lungs. He collapsed on the corner of the bed and turned his back to me. “Ryder . . . please put clothing on.”

“Don’t you like looking at me?”

“More than I should. That is why I ask you to dress.” His voice was tight. “For my sake.”

“I’ll do lots of things for your sake,” I told him flirtatiously. Truth was, I was getting rather excited about the thought of doing naughty things to Hugh. “I’d love to run my mouth all over your skin,” I told him. “Lick your fangs. Dig my claws in.”

A low groan escaped his throat.

Yes! Excitement flashed through me, and my hands curled into the blankets. I wiggled a bit closer on the bed. “What do you say? Want to do a little mutual exploring? Figure each other’s bodies out and see what the other likes?”

“You know I cannot.”

“Why not?”

“My vow.” He still didn’t turn around to look at me.

That darn vow. “Listen, Hugh.” I made my voice as persuasive as I could. “You’re a virgin. I’m a virgin. Why not take care of each other’s needs?”

“Because my mate is waiting for me,” he said in a harsh voice. “Not just my mate but the mates of others who are depending on me. I will not rob them of their chance at happiness and family simply because I gave in to my own desires.”

“But you do desire me?” I focused on that single word, ignoring the guilt I felt at pushing for something I shouldn’t have wanted so desperately.

“You know I do.” His voice was ragged, his face averted.

“Then why can’t we play a little?” My tone was coaxing. “You want to please your mate, don’t you? You want to know how to make her body respond to you. I bet she’s a virgin, too. And she’s going to look to you to make sex delicious for her. How are you going to do that if you don’t know how a female body works? You’re a big, scary guy. She’ll be frightened of you. And of making love, unless you’re totally skilled with her.”

Hugh said nothing . . . but he wasn’t protesting any longer, which I took as a good sign.

“I could show you,” I said in a cajoling voice, lightly running my fingers along the bedspread, since he was too far away to touch. I was totally aroused at this point, my breathing quick, my nipples hard. The slightest of touches from him would turn me into full-blown monster-girl. “You can use me as a test of sorts. We can figure out what you can do to make her respond to your touch. And . . . we can experiment on you, too. You can show me what you like. After all, I’m going to need to learn these things myself.”

“I have . . . seen the picture stories. I have learned plenty.”

“Those movies aren’t how things really are.” I couldn’t help the throaty laugh that escaped me. “Those are just materials used to arouse. They’re blatant and not romantic in the slightest. If you want your woman to crave your touch, you’re going to need to be sexy. I could show you how to do that. How to touch her. You could touch me.”

And I quivered at the thought of him touching me. At the thought of one of his big hands cupping one of my breasts.

He inhaled sharply, then shook his head and jerked to his feet. “Get some sleep.” And then he retreated to the bathroom. A moment later, I heard the shower running.

I frowned. Damn him. He’d been so close to giving in. I’d clearly started with the wrong tactic by suggesting the mutual loss of each other’s virginity. That was a nonstarter. He’d hesitated when I’d mentioned learning each other’s bodies, though. That was the key.

Because Hugh clearly wanted to please his mate, I thought with a sour jealousy. And by keying in on that, maybe I could get him riled enough to seduce him fully and make him forget his vow.

The prospect was an exciting one, I had to admit. It would take some serious courage on my part, as well as some strategic planning, but I could do it.

I’d just have to ignore my niggling conscience, which told me I was pursuing my own happiness at the expense of so many others.