When She Was Bad

3

Talk about your Odd Couple: compared to Pender and Mama Rose, Oscar Madison and Felix Unger were practically clones. But lying next to each other during the course of that endless night, the former G-man and the biker mama discovered they had something in common after all.

“I lost my wife a little over six months ago,” confided Pender, after learning about Carson’s death.

“How long were you together?”

“Not even a year-she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer not long after we were married.”

“Over twenty years for me and Carson,” said Mama Rose. “I don’t even remember what it felt like to be single.”

“I know it sounds stupid, but I sort of envy you,” Pender mused.

“What do you mean?”

“I’d have sold my soul for twenty more years with Dawson-no matter how it had to end.”

“Did she…?” Her voice trailed off.

“Did she what, suffer?”

“Skip it-I guess it was my turn to say something stupid.”

“A hideous couple of months-but the end was peaceful.”

“What’s his name, Lyssy, promised me Carson never even knew what hit him.”

“Thoughtful little bastard, ain’t he?”

“That’s the weirdest part,” said Mama Rose. “How careful and gentle he tied us up, like he was a fucking nurse or something.”

“Makes sense when you think about it,” Pender told her. “The hospital is all he knows-who else does he have as role models?”

Time ticked by slowly-but not as slowly as it had before they were able to converse. “How long do you think it’ll be before somebody finds us?” Pender asked eventually.

“Depends. Normally nobody would bother me and Car until late afternoon-they know we usually sleep in. But he would have missed an important meeting last night, so somebody might be by to check about that. Then there’s L’il T., the guy who got shot on the patio? His wife Dennie is like twelve months pregnant; this’d probably be the first place she’d come looking for him.”

While Pender was thinking that over, his stomach gave out with a long, loud grumble. “Quiet down there,” he said.

“How long since you ate last?”

“Lunch yesterday-I had a chili dog,” said Pender-then he chuckled.

“What’s so funny?”

He told her Mick’s story about the Jersey shore diner: EAT HERE AND GET GAS. “How about you?”

“I had dinner in town with Dennie, and a piece of mud pie at the coffee shop before you guys showed up.” Then, after another minute or so: “Shit.”

“What?”

“I wasn’t hungry until we started talking about food-now it’s all I can think about.”

“Let’s change the subject-what’s your favorite song?”

“It’s kind of obscure-you probably never heard of it,” said Mama Rose.

Pender grinned. “Care to make a little wager about that?”